Maniac - Necessary Evils #7 - Ch. 9 (Patreon)

Here's the usual caveat. Unbeta'd and unedited. Subject to change if I think it sucks. Hopefully it doesn't suck. ThomasThomas felt like he’d aged fifty years in the last two days. He was tired in his bones. In his core. He was tired of hating himself, tired of lying, tired of denying himself the only person he’d ever truly wanted. He ached to touch him, to give in to his instinct, to the near gravitational pull of him. But Aiden knowing the truth didn’t change it. Just because Aiden accepted what Thomas had done, it didn’t make Thomas’s involvement acceptable.“Just because you can look past it, doesn’t mean the others can. You alone can’t play judge, jury and executioner,” he said even as he leaned in, pressing his forehead to Aiden’s, wanting to cling to him. Always wanting to cling to him.Aiden’s voice was so warm. “Why? You’ve been doing it for years. You’ve condemned yourself to this fucked up mental prison and you’ve taken me with you. When is it my turn?”When is it my turn?Was that what Thomas had been doing to Aiden all these years? He’d thought letting him go would free him. But then, when had Thomas truly let Aiden go? He hadn’t. He’d clung to him, used him, kept dragging him back over and over again. When would it be Aiden’s turn? Could he be happy without Thomas? Could he be happy with him?Would there ever be a time when Thomas allowed himself to be happy? When he allowed Aiden to be happy? Did it matter? His sons still didn’t know the truth and when they found out, they’d never look at him the same way again. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe they would simply banish him. Would Aiden choose him then? Would he allow Aiden to choose him?“Aiden…” Thomas breathed, closing his eyes, his hands reaching out and gripping his upper arms just to feel him, just to squeeze the muscles there and reassure himself Aiden was there, flesh and blood. For better or worse, Thomas was addicted to Aiden, no, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t an addiction. It was like they were…fused to each other, so intertwined that no matter how far apart you pulled them, the connection never broke, it just tugged and pulled until they came back together.Aiden’s mouth was on his, like he could read Thomas’s mind, a barely there brush of lips that robbed Thomas of his sanity. It took him too long to realize Aiden was speaking, his palms cupping Thomas’s cheeks as he pressed the words against his mouth. “This isn’t going to go the way you think it is. Your sons aren’t going to see you as a villain, they’re going to see you as a victim and they’re going to respond accordingly. They’re going to turn their rage on whoever it is that’s trying to fuck with our family.”“Our family?” Thomas echoed, his heart skipping, and cock hardening. How long had he longed to hear Aiden claim the Mulvaney name as his own? It was so fucked up. He was so fucked up. They both were. Fuck.“That’s not the point,” Aiden murmured softly, his tongue slipping past Thomas’s lips to tease before retreating.Thomas felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, like every touch, every kiss, every word was robbing him of his reason, of his tenuous grip on his sanity. He needed Aiden like he needed the blood in his veins, like he needed his heart to keep beating. He couldn’t explain it. He could never explain it. It wasn’t fair to Aiden. But he couldn’t force himself to pull away from him, from whatever this was.“Then what is? I’m exhausted and more than a little drunk. What’s the point, Aiden? What’s the point of any of this? I’m losing the plot.”Aiden’s rough cheek rubbed against Thomas’s, then he kissed his closed eyelids. “The point is, your sons…all of them…love you in the only way they know how. They will never lay the blame at your feet. Even if you do. This martyr complex you’ve been carrying around with you is useless.”“You can’t know-”Aiden cut him off with another hard kiss to his lips. “You’ve wasted so much of your life on a fairy tale you’ve told yourself where you’re the fucking monster. Shane was the monster.”“But I created that monster. It’s like Frankenstein. Who was the real monster? The doctor.”“You weren’t the architect of Shane’s disease. His mother was. His family was. You were a little kid from a fucked up family and you were coerced and brainwashed into a relationship you were in no way ready for. You know that. Deep down underneath all those layers of guilt, the pragmatist I love fucking knows that.”The pragmatist he loves. Aiden loved him. Aiden loved him more than Thomas had ever deserved. This was where he usually pulled away. Where he would find a way to ruin everything. Instead, he pulled him closer until Aiden was in his lap, his thighs on either side of his, their mouths crashing together in a kiss that never seemed to end.He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, mouths meeting and parting until Thomas didn’t know if it was the alcohol or desire clouding his judgment. It was enough, having Aiden in his arms was enough. He didn’t need more than this. But Aiden clearly did. He broke their kiss to pull Thomas’s sweatshirt over his head,tossing it aside, before his mouth found his collarbone, then his ear. “I’m taking you upstairs. Don’t say no.”For once in Thomas’s life, it hadn’t even occurred to him to say no to Aiden. He was too far gone to say much of anything at all.He let him lead him upstairs, he let him undress him without so much as a word, and when they were both naked, he kissed him again and Thomas let him. He just let Aiden take control.It was how it should be. Thomas was in no condition to make decisions. He’d been making the wrong decisions for so long that maybe the best thing he could do for the both of them was just surrender, to let Aiden do the heavy lifting when it came to the two of them. Thomas was so tired of fighting it, fighting Aiden. Just once, he wanted to know what it was like to have everything he wanted.Aiden pushed him back on the bed and laid on top of him, settling between his open legs. There was fire everywhere they touched and they touched everywhere. Thomas didn’t even know what to do, what to think. So he didn’t. He concentrated instead on the burn of Aiden’s beard as he dragged his lips across his chest to capture his nipple in his mouth, the way he licked and bit and sucked at it until Thomas was bucking beneath him, his brain a fog of want and pleasure.“Aiden…”“Don’t move,” Aiden demanded, switching his focus to his other nipple. “Don’t talk unless its to say please or yes or more. Understand? We’re doing it my way now. You’ve said no to me for too long. We both want this. We both fucking need this. Don’t we?”Aiden’s last question was more of a plea.Thomas nodded. “Yes,” he said, voice raw.Aiden made a sound that was something like a growl or a rumble against his skin. “Then just let me do this. Let me have you. Please. Everything else can wait.”Thomas swallowed the lump in his throat. “Okay,” he managed.“Close your eyes. Don’t think. Just feel. Just let me touch you. I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”This time Thomas couldn’t bring himself to form the words, he could only nod, letting his lids fall closed. Without his sight, his other senses were on high alert, the raw scrape of Aiden’s face on his skin made him throb, the way his fingers squeezed at his hips, the feel of his hard cock pressed against his hip. Thomas was leaking already.When Aiden’s lips traced the large tattoo on his side, he shivered, when Aiden slid lower, Thomas shook.The moment Aiden’s mouth closed over him, he groaned, his hands threading in Aiden’s hair and pulling him off. “Don’t. I won’t last two seconds like that.”He thought Aiden might get mad, be he gave what sounded like a low laugh, then the weight of him disappeared entirely. Still Thomas didn’t open his eyes, he just laid there, naked and vulnerable, he didn’t want to know what he was doing or even if he was coming back. But when the bed sank again, something unknotted inside him. Aiden wasn’t abandoning him, wasn’t abandoning this, whatever it was.Thomas was grateful for the alcohol in his blood. It made it easier to relax. When Aiden’s mouth found his, he just opened for him, let his tongue explore. Not just his tongue. His hands were moving too, sliding between his legs, his now slick fingers probing his entrance. He hissed when Aiden breached him, invading his body in a way he’d imagined for longer than he’d ever admit to anybody.“Can I?”It took far too long for Aiden’s simple request to penetrate his alcohol soaked brain. Can I? Could he what? Fuck him? Love him? Have him? Thomas buried his face in Aiden’s throat. He was tired of saying no. Tired of refusing himself the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world.“Yes.”“Thank God,” Aiden said in a rough whisper.Then he was settling on top of him, forcing his legs apart with his body, putting Thomas where he wanted him. When the head of his cock pressed against his hole, Thomas had to force himself not to resist instinctively. It had been fucking years since he’d let anybody inside him. Shane had ruined that for him. Somehow it seemed right that it was Aiden who changed it now.Still, he couldn’t stop the pained grunt that escaped as Aiden entered him, so much bigger than Thomas had anticipated. But when he stopped halfway inside, Thomas found himself wrapping his legs around his hips, his heels trying to spur him forward despite his discomfort.“Are you…trying to make me move faster?” Aiden asked against his ear, amused.Thomas felt himself blushing. “Maybe?”“I don’t think you have any idea how hard this is…I have waited for this forever. I would like to last longer than thirty seconds.”“I’m not sure I can handle you lasting longer than thirty seconds,” Thomas admitted.Aiden laughed softly. A real genuine laugh that shot through Thomas like lightning. When was the last time he’d heard Aiden laugh? Fucking years. So many fucking years. “I do love you.”Aiden froze above him and for a terrifying moment, Thomas thought he’d ruined everything. But then Aiden’s mouth was on his in a kiss that melted Thomas’s fears. It melted everything.He just clung to him as he started to move, slowly at first and then in a tempo that scrambled Thomas’s higher brain function and left him rolling his hips upward to meet every thrust until he couldn’t stop himself from chasing the pleasure building in his spine, blocking out everything but the feel of Aiden on top of him, inside him in every fucking way.There was no way Thomas could every describe the feeling except to say it was the closest to God he ever felt. There was nothing but the scent of Aiden, the feel of him, the taste of him. He was consumed by him, absorbed by him. When Aiden shifted, lifting enough to take Thomas in hand, jerking him with purpose he was so far gone, it only took two or three strokes before he cried out, spilling his release on his stomach.Aiden made a sound like a growl when Thomas came, fucking him hard enough to drive him up the mattress a few more times before he came with a hoarse shout, falling onto Thomas and burying his face against his neck.They didn’t speak. When Aiden made no move to get up, to pull out, Thomas let his eyes fall shut and within seconds, he was sinking into blackness.###Thomas woke to find Aiden sitting in bed beside him, naked, the sheet wrapped around his hips and legs as he worked on something on his laptop. He thought about pretending to still sleep, but that seemed childish given the circumstances. He rolled over and propped himself up on his arm.“What are you doing?” he asked.“I talked to Calliope earlier. She asked if I’d take a look at the video frame by frame, see if maybe I could spot something she didn’t.”“And?”Thomas’s heart sank as Aiden made a frustrated sound. “She’s right. There’s nothing. Literally nothing.”“What about your friend, Lola? Has she found anything?” Thomas asked, scrubbing a hand over his face, trying to rub some of the bleariness from his eyes.Aiden shook his head, distractedly. “She’s still working on gathering the names.” He looked at Thomas, meeting his gaze. “You know we need to go home to solve this. Right?”“You were the one who said I was safer away from the family.”Aiden shrugged. “I was just being selfish. I wanted to be alone with you. Wanted to find a way to get you to open up to me.”“And now that you have, we should go home?” Thomas asked, feeling cranky somehow, like he’d fallen into Aiden’s trap.Aiden gave him a look like he could read Thomas’s mind. “No. I talked to Atticus and he reminded me that you’re safer surrounded by family.”“But they’re not,” Thomas reminded.Aiden arched his brow. “You think they can’t take care of themselves? They’re all trained killers, Tommy. The real reason you don’t want to go home is because you’re avoiding the inevitable. Telling them the truth. All of it.”“I’m not ready…” he admitted. “They’re going to be so…” Disgusted. Disappointed. Angry.“Sad,” Aiden supplied. “What happened to you is sad. That’s it. The feelings faction is going to cry buckets when they hear your story.”His insides shriveled as he thought of Noah, Felix, Zane and Lucas. They were the ones he truly worried about. Mac and Atticus were killers in their own right. They had a strict moral code, but they were realists. They’d pity him, but they wouldn’t condemn him. But the boys…Noah especially. He was going to be so disappointed in Thomas. He didn’t want to lose the way they looked at him. Like he was the father they chose.“You just don’t understand,” Thomas said, shaking his head.Aiden closed his laptop and turned his attention to Thomas. “No, you don’t understand. The problem isn’t me or the kids. The problem is you think you fell in love with the wrong guy and he murdered your family because of it.”“That’s what happened,” Thomas said.“No. What happened is a young child was groomed, assaulted and verbally abused by a narcissistic psychopath after years of emotional neglect from their parents. What really happened was a mentally broken boy convinced himself you were soulmates because he was too disturbed to understand the difference between shared trauma and romantic love. Until you see it for what it is and forgive yourself it won’t ever matter what me or your sons think.”Thomas felt like he’d been slapped. “It’s not that simple.”Hearing Aiden say that felt like a betrayal somehow, like he was…minimizing what had truly happened between him and Shane. The drama. The feelings. The violence. It felt so real. So like a relationship. It felt like a copout to call three years of an emotional rollercoaster nothing but…abuse.They’d had so many deep talks. They’d understood each other in a way nobody ever had before. Shane had picked him. Over and over. Shane had picked him over Holly, over his family…again and again. Shane had chosen him—him!—and calling him a narcissistic psychopathic abuser made Thomas feel…like he was betraying his memory.God, how fucked up was that? How fucked up that even now, years later, the bodies of his family between them, Thomas still felt some weird fucked up sense of loyalty to the boy who’d slaughtered his family? What was wrong with him?He jumped when Aiden touched his shoulder. “I know that this is going to take a long time for you to unpack. I know that you will probably need therapy, but you’ve created a work of fiction in your head, Tommy. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wasn’t your soulmate. He was your abuser. He was sick. And you have to make peace with that.”“I don’t know how,” he admitted.Aiden sighed. “If you can’t do it for me or for your sons, then think about the girls. Before the pattern repeats itself.”A pain, knife sharp, pierced Thomas’s heart. “What does that mean? I would never hurt those girls. I would never without affection or allow them to fall into the hands of a monster.”Aiden squeezed Thomas’s shoulder. “That’s not what I’m saying. But if you can’t forgive yourself for falling prey to an abuser, what does that tell them if it ever happens to them? Do you think they would trust you?”“What?”Aiden shook his head. “Let me put it to you this way. Imagine if Ara or Adi were in your position someday? If they were courted and groomed by someone like Shane. If they were abused and manipulated and something bad happened, should they subject themselves to a life of torture? Live their lives as martyrs to some cause that forces them to put their own wants and needs last forever?”Thomas’s chest tightened, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed by some invisible fist. This wasn’t fair. “It's not the same thing. I should have known better. I wasn’t like normal kids.”Aiden rolled his eyes. “August wasn’t like other kids? Would he not be worthy of forgiveness? If the girls have August’s IQ does that somehow make them more emotionally mature? Are you saying smart children are more culpable in their own abuse?”“What? Of course not. I would never say such a thing.”“That’s exactly what you’re saying every time you romanticize your abuse and force yourself into the role of villain. Do you get it now? Do you? Do you understand now? Can we please move past this? Finally? Can you please fucking forgive yourself?”Before Thomas could say anything, Aiden’s phone gave a shrill jingle from the side table. “Who is it?”Aiden picked it up and frowned at the name on the screen. “Lucas.”Fear sent a shockwave through Thomas. Something was wrong. Some superstitious part of him felt like they’d willed something bad into existence by invoking his grandchildren’s names. “Answer it.”Aiden put it on speakerphone. “Hello.”“Tell Thomas to check his goddamn email,” Lucas raged.“Lucas,” Thomas said. “What’s wrong?”Aiden snagged the laptop, opening it and logging into Thomas’s email without asking for his password. They were long past privacy in such a short period of time.“How did you know it was there?” Thomas asked, peering over at the screen. The email was from the anonymous user, not Lucas.“Calliope has been monitoring your email. August and I got it too,” Lucas said, his impatience palpable.There was a file attached. A movie clip. The thumbnail was just a blurry red brick building. Aiden hit play and they watched as whoever held the camera away from them approached a group of toddlers playing on a grassy lot.Thomas was going to vomit.That was the campus where August and Lucas worked. Somewhere among those children were Adelyn and Arabella. The man was bold, walking with confidence directly up to two little girls dressed for the weather in coats, hats and mittens. They sat crouched looking at something in the grass.They looked up as he approached. They both peered at him with their father’s serious jade eyes, not afraid, more…curious. They leaned in as the person seemed to briefly drop to their level and, for just a moment, the camera lens lost sight of them. Then the man was standing, panning the camera down to show the girls. Jesus christ. They were holding a snake. A dead fucking snake.“Do you see that?” Lucas asked. “Are you watching? See the red head? The blue stripes? That’s a blue malaysian coral snake, Thomas. They handed my children a snake that could kill every last one of those children in minutes.”Thomas was shaking. In the video, a woman shouted somewhere in the distance. The teacher perhaps? Then the person behind the camera was taking the snake back and walking away, leaving the girls behind.“Its so easy,” they chided in a creepy hissing whisper. “I could have ended them right there. I want my money. Time is running out. I’ll be in touch.”Then the video shut off.“They went after my children,” Lucas said, voice thick with rage and tears. “My babies. They’re not even two. They walked right up to my little girls in broad daylight and handed them a dead fucking snake.”“I-” Thomas started.“What the fuck is going on? What the hell is this all about? Your dead family? Is that what this is about? Who is after you? Why do they want money? Why do they think you killed your fucking family?”Thomas understood Lucas’s anger. “I’m-”Lucas cut him off once more. “If they harm one hair on my children’s heads, I swear on everything that is holy, Thomas, I will go full on scorched earth. I will burn it all down. I will flay the fucking skin from their bones and if somehow you brought this down on my children’s heads, I’ll fucking kill you too.”“Calm down, umnishka,” August said from somewhere close by.“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, August Mulvaney. They’re babies. They are my babies. They’re still in diapers. They were holding a goddamn poisonous snake in their tiny hands. They had to be so confused. They don’t understand any of this. This was never supposed to fall back on them, remember? You promised. You said the lines between our real lives and our fake personas would never cross until they were old enough to understand. You all promised me.”“We’re coming home,” Aiden said before Thomas could think of anything to say. “We’re coming home and we’re going to fix this. As a family. Okay?”“Oh, now you want to be a part of this family?” Lucas snapped. Aiden said nothing. After a taut moment of silence Lucas said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just…they went after my children, Aiden.”“I know, man. I know. We’re going to get to the bottom of this shit and when we do, I promise, you can have the kill if you want it Okay?”Aiden sounded like he was asking Lucas, but he was looking directly at Thomas, who nodded.“Yeah, okay,” Lucas said, finally.“We’ll be home soon and we’ll explain everything,” Aiden assured them, holding eye contact as if to make sure Thomas understood he was telling him too. “Family meeting. Tonight. Everybody needs to come and bring whatever they need. We’re all staying together at the mansion until this is over. There’s safety in numbers.”“Everyone?” August asked.Aiden eyed Thomas sharply. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to finally speak up. “Everyone. Cricket, too. You too, Calliope. I know you’re eavesdropping somewhere. Dimitri and Arlo. Everyone. If Jericho feels the boys aren’t safe, he can bring them too. It’s time for everyone to come home.”“I’ll let them know,” August said, voice dangerously calm.When Aiden disconnected Thomas fell back against the pillows. He thought he’d have more time to prepare himself for the wrath of his children, but now their children were in danger too. Somehow, it had never occurred to him that whoever this bastard was, they’d go after the most vulnerable in the family. His granddaughters. His babies. His heart and soul.They were worth losing everything. Keeping them safe, even if it meant him losing everything else, was worth it. They were going to find this fucking piece of shit and they were going to put him down…as a family. Whatever the family wanted to do with him after that, he’d accept it.As long as they were safe, they’d accept it.