Paladin - Jericho's Boys - Ch. 3 (Patreon)

Unbeta'd, unedited. You know the drill. <3ArsenArsen lay awake long after Ever’s breathing had evened out. He should have released him then. It was the right thing to do. But Arsen couldn’t bring himself to let go. He was warm and smelled like Arsen’s soap and he made the cutest sounds while he slept. Besides, Ever had wanted Arsen to hold him.Ever—who had absolutely no reason to trust him—had come to him for comfort, had come to him because he was afraid. Arsen knew what it was like to be afraid. He’d spent many nights listening to his father rage. Bottles crashing, glasses breaking, his mother’s screaming. It had been years but it was still fresh in his mind. His mother, smiling with blood on her face while she told him it was all okay.Go to sleep, zaichik. It’s just a bad dream.Arsen swallowed the lump in his throat. The violence was never forgotten, never far from his memories. His age had only protected him for so long, then his father had turned the violence towards him. To make him stronger. Tougher. A real man. Real men didn’t cry. Real men didn’t whine. Real men took their beatings in silence. Crying only prolonged the inevitable.Arsen squeezed Ever a little tighter. Maybe he was the one who needed Ever. He’d told himself a million times, he could never be comfortable with someone sleeping in his bed, but Ever was right there, taking up space in a way Arsen swore he’d hate. But he didn’t. Why?Maybe because Ever had trusted him? Arsen wanted to be the one to protect him, comfort him. He’d found him. Shouldn’t he take responsibility? Wasn’t that the right thing to do? How could Arsen be sure someone else wouldn’t take advantage of Ever? He’d come to Arsen looking for comfort, but he’d been prepared to trade that comfort for sex. What if someone else said yesH?Ever had assumed Arsen would say yes. Was heartbroken when he’d refused him. Why? Was Arsen simply the lesser of two evils in his eyes? It made Arsen’s heart ache. Had Ever known any kind of affection that wasn’t transactional? Had he had to give a piece of his soul away every time someone showed him any kindness? Had anybody even bothered to try?He looked down at the boy, currently sleeping with his cheek smooshed against Arsen’s bicep, full lips parted as he softly snored like a puppy. Ever was sweet-faced, that’s the only way Arsen could describe him. In the dim lighting his hair looked almost black, but in the light it was a dark chocolate brown, just like his wide doe eyes. He had a heart-shaped face and high cheekbones, but enough baby fat to make him seem vulnerable.But Ever wasn’t just cute, he was attractive. He’d been shocked when he’d seen him standing barefoot in his apartment, damp hair hanging in his eyes and baby blue sweatshirt making his golden skin glow. He’d been everything Arsen hadn’t known he’d wanted. But he had wanted.That’s why he was still thinking about the way Ever looked up at him from beneath his lashes, and the way his fingertips had trailed over bare skin an hour later. Arsen never would have taken advantage like that, but he’d known Ever three hours and he was already tempting his resolve, his morals. He was a good person, dammit.Ever was dangerous.Ever squirmed a little closer, as if he could hear Arsen’s internal struggle and wanted to make it just a little more difficult. How could Arsen ignore how well Ever fit? How he seemed to be the perfect small spoon to Arsen’s bigger one? How his head tucked perfectly under Arsen’s chin? How his ass pressed directly against Arsen’s crotch…Fuck.Levi would call Ever pocket-sized, might even joke about hobbits or elves. But Ever was a fairy, something small and dainty and tempting like in his game, Paladin. Arsen had fallen for the game the moment he’d played it. Knights and magic and roundtables. Kings and wizards and mythological creatures. Maybe Ever was one of those creatures, not a domovoi–they were ugly. There was nothing ugly about Ever. Another tiny creature maybe? Mal'chik-s-pal'chik maybe. He was tiny like that.“You are about the size of my finger,” he murmured.Ever rolled in his arms, a deep sigh escaping into his chest. Arsen just stared. How could anybody hurt someone so sweet? So fragile? Arsen’s father had beat the hell out of him and his mother, but Arsen had been sturdy, strong. He’d had to be. His father never allowed for weakness. Even now. Even from behind bars.No crying. No begging. Arsen had learned to mask his pain. But Ever…he looked at people like a dog who’d been kicked too many times. Suspicious but …hopeful. Like he just wanted one person to not let him down.Arsen closed his eyes. Maybe he was just projecting. It was clear he wasn’t going to sleep. Not now. He might as well get up and get dressed. But he didn’t move. Minutes ticked by, but still he lay there, listening to Ever breathe, feeling his breath against his skin.What if Arsen got up and it woke him? He needed sleep. Those wounds needed rest to heal properly. What if Ever woke up alone and had another panic? He’d only lasted fifteen minutes alone in Arsen’s old bedroom. Even with the lights on.The room is too big.That’s what he’d said. But size was relative. When the room had been Arsen’s—when he’d shared the apartment with Jericho’s brother, Felix—Arsen had been grateful for a room with a door, but it had felt claustrophobic at times. There was barely enough room for his computer and the desk, which worked well when he was online with his friends, but not so much when he just wanted to hang out.When the room belonged to Felix and Jericho had the master, Felix had often complained about it being ‘the size of a shoebox’ which seemed like a major exaggeration to Arsen, but that was just Felix. Dramatic, over-the-top, excessive. That’s why he was famous now. That’s why everybody loved him and wanted to be his friend. Felix would love Ever.Arsen stared down at Ever, the ache to touch him coming on so strongly and so quickly, he didn’t even have time to fight it. He lightly ran his finger up the bridge of his pert nose, once then twice, then caressed the spot between his perfectly straight brows. His skin was soft, his bunny teeth just a little too big for his mouth, leaving them settled lightly on his full lower lip.Ever’s eyelids fluttered, then opened, slowly blinking himself awake. Shit. Ever’s hand—trapped between their bodies—curled against Arsen’s bare chest, making him shiver, his cock taking notice of the barely there touch. He needed to calm down before he scared him.But his body just wasn’t getting the memo that Ever was friend, not food. Because even with chapped lips and puffy eyes, Ever looked good enough to eat. And for the first time in a long time, Arsen was starving.Almost like he could read his thoughts, Ever raised his hand and brushed his fingertips over Arsen’s hair that hung in his eyes. He closed his eyes, praying for some modicum of self control. Maybe if he just didn’t look at him…Ever’s index finger ran along the bridge of Arsen’s nose, mimicking Arsen’s earlier movements. No. No. This was definitely not better. It was somehow much worse. He needed to get out of bed and put some distance between them before one of them did something they couldn’t take back.They were strangers. Ever only touched him for comfort, as a way to anchor himself, not because he wanted anything physical. Arsen couldn’t ruin that trust.“I have to go downstairs to the garage. Can you stay here and rest?” Ever’s face morphed from fear to confusion to something akin to a sulk, which did nothing to strengthen Arsen’s resolve to leave the warmth of his bed. “Don’t give me that look, little one. I’ll be right downstairs. You can come find me when you wake up and then I’ll get you some food.”Ever’s scowl disappeared immediately, replaced with that same placid look from last night. That one that told Arsen he was either dissociating or masking his true feelings for Arsen’s benefit. Shit. He needed to choose his words carefully. Ever had spent most of his life following orders. He was clearly still trying to do so.How long had he lived like that? How long had that woman tortured him? The scars on his back and throat indicated months. The children’s book he’d shown Arsen indicated years. Had she been the only one to…own him? The idea of multiple people abusing Ever over the years left Arsen with a rage brewing deep within. It made him want to hurt something, hurt someone. Once more he wished he could revive that woman and kill her again. She deserved something far worse than a simple bullet in the head.But none of that would help Ever. And Arsen wasn’t qualified to help this level of trauma. He needed an adult. A real adult. An adultier adult. One who understood taxes and feelings. But he didn’t have one of those handy right now. All he could do was follow Jericho’s advice.Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.He gave Ever his brightest smile. “I change my mind. You can look at me however you want. If you’re mad, be mad. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re happy, be happy. Okay?” He made the okay symbol with his fingers.Ever studied his face and then his hand, like he wasn’t sure if he was in trouble or not.“I’ll be right downstairs,” he said again, this time extracting himself from Ever’s limbs, heart tripping as he stared up at Arsen with those big Bambi eyes. “Sleep.”Once more, Ever immediately complied, closing his eyes and rolling onto his belly, burying his face in Arsen’s pillow. Dammit, another order. He vowed to get better. But it was difficult to go against his nature. He spent most of his day herding a bunch of twenty-somethings high on caffeine and short on attention. That required being direct. And loud. And giving concise instructions. The boys were efficient, but they were also absentminded and stubborn.Ever inhaled deeply, then seemed to relax. Still Arsen watched until his breathing evened out again. If following Arsen’s order got Ever more sleep, then in this one particular instance, it was okay. Until Arsen found that adult he needed.Arsen finally forced himself to move, throwing on some clothes and his coveralls before heading downstairs to get the bay doors open on time. People had to work, so Jericho had a drop box for keys. By the time he made it to the shop there were already four sets, in addition to the jobs left over from yesterday. It was clearly going to be a busy day.He walked to the back of the garage. There used to be a huge sofa and television as well as a gaming console there. Arsen and his friends had spent hours in the back of the shop, hiding from bullies, hiding from their own families. But now that had all moved next door.When Jericho had married Atticus, they’d pooled their money to buy the building next door so Jericho’s ‘strays’ had a safe place to sleep at night and Jericho had a place to work where he didn’t have to worry about someone accidentally lopping off a finger or losing a foot to an engine block.The core group had never changed, but other stray kids ebbed and flowed out of the place depending on necessity. And sadly, in their neighborhood—in every neighborhood really—there was always a need.Arsen had considered putting Ever over there last night. He would have been safe. But a bunch of twenty year old, sometimes killers with a penchant for caffeine, sugar and gaming marathons wasn’t really the place for Ever. At least not yet. He needed Arsen.At least that’s what Arsen told himself.He popped his headphones in and started working, losing himself in the mundane tasks of oil changes and brake jobs. When he wheeled himself out from under a ten-year-old Chevy, he stopped short, heart pounding. Ever stood there in last night’s clothes, fidgeting with the drawstring on his hoodie, nothing but socks on his feet. He scanned the place rapidly, eyes wide, like he was prepared to run if he had to.Arsen quickly crossed to him, wiping his hands off on the rag hanging from his pocket. “You’re awake.”Ever trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, then nodded.Arsen did his best to give him a reassuring smile. “Did you sleep okay?”Ever shrugged, then nodded again, risking a glance upward like he was worried his answer might upset Arsen.“Don’t feel like talking?” he asked, trying to keep his voice judgment free.Ever shook his head.“Okay,” Arsen said. “Do you want me to take you back upstairs? You can watch tv?”Ever shook his head.“Are you hungry?”Ever shook his head.“Do you want to stay down here with me?”Ever nodded.Warmth bled through Arsen’s whole body. Ever just wanted to be near him. He trusted him to keep him safe. That shouldn’t have been the high it was, Arsen shouldn’t feel drugged from it. But he did.“Don’t move, okay?”Ever began to gnaw on his bottom lip, but nodded. Arsen took the small victory. He grabbed a stool from the counter and brought it to place where Ever would be safe but could still see Arsen. “Sit. I don’t want you stepping on anything sharp. It is very dangerous to be down here without shoes on.”Ever flushed to the tips of his ears. Did that sound harsh? Was it too mean? It was hard enough thinking in Russian and speaking in English without  this emotional minefield. But he would figure it out. He’d get it right. Somehow.Ever sat on the stool, then pulled his legs to his chest, his heels resting on the stool’s edge. Arsen could never have sat that way, but Ever did it with ease, perched like the world's cutest gargoyle, chin resting on his knees, watching Arsen as if waiting for his next instructions.“Are you hungry?”Ever shook his head.“Are you thirsty?”Ever shook his head.Arsen grinned. “Okay. I’m going to get back to work but you tell me if you need anything. Okay?”Ever nodded, then made the okay symbol.Arsen’s heart skipped like he'd been shocked. Fuck, he was cute.He finished the oil change he was working on, but when he went to do a quick tire change, he noticed Ever was not okay. Every time Arsen fired the impact wrench, Ever would flinch, then jump, slapping his hands over his ears. Shit. He set the drill down, racking his brain. Ever wouldn’t go back upstairs without Arsen, but he had to keep working, at least until Jericho got there.He snapped his fingers, then ran to the office, fishing through the box they kept next to Jericho’s sofa. It was called the lost and found box, but it was more a shit-people-left-in-cars-they-never-picked-up box. And Arsen had noticed something there a few weeks ago that might work for Ever.He gave a small shout when he realized what he sought was still there. A pink pair of kid’s headphones with light up cat ears. That would work. He grabbed his phone and synced them to his device, grateful when it showed there was still a sixty percent battery life.He brought them to Ever and gently placed them over his ears. He then brought up Spotify. He clicked on a channel that played lo-fi music, unsure what Ever would even like. As soon as it turned on, his eyes went wide and he slapped his hands over the headphones pressing them harder into his ears.Arsen handed him his phone, quickly showing him how to look for music, then returning back to work. This time when he discharged the impact wrench Ever didn’t even notice, engrossed in his music and whatever it was he did on Arsen’s phone. Had he ever let another soul hold his cell phone? Even for a moment? No. Definitely not.Arsen and Ever existed in the space comfortably for another hour or so, Arsen sometimes forgetting himself when he would glance at Ever. Usually his eyes were closed and he was swaying to some song, but every once in a while, Arsen would find him attempting a new song, a new genre, a new playlist, and his facial expressions ran the gamut from confused to horrified. Arsen could spend a day just watching Ever play music.It was almost noon when Levi walked in, stealing Ever’s attention from Arsen’s phone. He studied Levi suspiciously, his gaze tracking back to Arsen, like he wanted to make sure he was close by.Arsen didn’t blame Ever for his trepidation. Levi looked like the bad boy in a movie for teens who make poor life choices. His inky black hair was a permanent mess, he had tattoos from his jaw to his fingertips and everywhere in between. He had several piercings along both ears, as well as a ring through his lip and another through his right brow. He wore ripped jeans, a black t-shirt and a permanent scowl on his way too pretty face.He frowned when he saw Ever. “Who’s that?”“That’s Ever.”Levi tilted his head. “What’s Ever?”Arsen rolled his eyes, pointing to the boy and his cat ears. “That is. He is,” Arsen corrected.Levi snickered. “That’s his name? Ever?”“Yes, that’s why I said ‘that’s Ever,” Arsen said, shaking his head.Sometimes it was hard to believe he was the one not knowing English.Levi rolled his eyes like he could hear Arsen’s irritation. “Where did Ever come from?”Arsen looked Ever over thoroughly, head tilted. “Hard to say. He speaks perfect English, but has features that are present through many different ethnic groups from Eastern Asian to Central America.”Levi sighed. “Not where is he from geographically, dude. Like where did you two meet?”Oh. “A job.”“A job?” Levi parroted.“Mm,” Arsen said. “The abuser with the fancy car. She had him.”“Had him?”Arsen made a noise of frustration. “Why do you keep repeating everything I say? Am I not speaking English?”Levi smirked. “Debatable. But I’m repeating everything you say because you’re not making any sense. You found a boy at a target’s house and you just…kept him?”That’s not exactly what happened. Was it? “He doesn’t have any place to go.”“Um, foster care?” Levi asked, snapping gum that must have been in his mouth the whole time.“Don’t let the rainbow cat years fool you. He’s nineteen,” Arsen said, feeling a tad defensive.Levi nodded. “Okay, but you can’t just…keep him. He’s not a cat you found in the bushes. Even if he kind of looks like one,” he mumbled. Then said, “That’s, like, kidnapping.”Arsen did his best to keep his tone level. “He’s an adult. And he wants to be here. He likes me. I’m relaxing. Like that drug.”“Weed?”“Ativan,” Arsen said.It was a lie. At least at present. Levi and Arsen were doing nothing to relieve the stress growing on Ever’s face. The more the two spoke, the more his anxiety spiked, until he put his hands over his headphones pushing them against his ears once more, then closing his eyes.Levi shook his head. “You’ve definitely been hanging out with the Mulvaney clan for too long.”“Jericho said I could keep him,” Arsen said. It was technically a lie but he hoped if he said it with enough conviction, Levi would just believe him.“Then he’s been hanging too long with the Mulvaney clan too,” Levi muttered.“Technically, Coe is a Mulvaney,” Arsen reminded him.“You know you can’t keep him,” Levi said.“Keep who?”They both looked up as Jericho arrived, pizza boxes in hand.“Keep him,” Levi said, pointing to Ever who currently looked like the see no evil monkey.“Coe, tell him you said he could stay here,” Arsen begged.Jericho looked at Levi. “I said he can stay here. For now.” He then walked up to Ever and gently plucked the headphones from his ears. “Let’s eat, gatito.”Ever looked at Arsen, only sliding from the stool when he nodded.Please let me keep him.