Paladin - Jericho's Boys #1 - Ch. 20 (Patreon)

Unbeta'd unedited, uneverything. This might be the last update before I finish the book, but we'll see. Ever“Your dead,” Atticus read, deadpan. “Y-O-U-R? If a cop wrote this, I weep for our justice system. They couldn’t even get the grammar correct?”Ever was only half-listening. They were at Jericho and Atticus’s condo with the others. Jericho had taken pictures for the insurance company and for their own evidence collection before they’d left. Those photos were now stuck to a white board propped up on the mantle in front of their television.The boys had gathered immediately at Jericho’s place. Arsen had tried to coax Ever to go to bed in the guest room, but he wasn’t going anywhere. He might be useless, but he wasn’t going to miss out on whatever Jericho wanted to discuss.Instead, he sat on their insanely soft, overstuffed sofa, a blanket around his shoulders, Levi and Nico sat on either side of him like sentries. Ever had his head on Levi’s shoulder. He wanted it to be Arsen, but he hadn’t stopped moving since the fire. He was too pissed. Ever could only follow with his eyes as he continued to pace.Seven, Lake, Zane, Cree and Felix had all opted for the floor. Zane and the twins sat on the other side of the couch. Jericho and Atticus stood, also keeping an eye on Arsen. Ever was worried. He’d never seen Arsen this mad before. But he was fuming. His jaw was clenched, his fists clenched. Ever wanted to apologize, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself, even if this was all his fault.The sun was up, streaming through the large floor to ceiling windows. By the time they’d left Jericho’s garage, the smoke had cleared, but the inside was uninhabitable. The fire department and local cops had left the charred remains of the doors behind, letting Jericho know they’d be there for him if he needed cleanup.The neighborhood really did seem to love Jericho, even if they couldn’t publicly sanction his neighborhood watch, they appeared to respect that sometimes he could take care of things in a way they couldn’t. Ever shuddered, looking at the scorch marks on the photos once more.The Jamesville police clearly lacked the same dedication. That message was meant for him.“You really think it was a cop who set the fire?” Zane asked. “That seems like a bold move.”“It was that Cherry girl and some guy,” Ever mumbled, then returned to chewing on his lower lip. He could feel Arsen’s eyes on him, but was afraid to meet his gaze directly, preferring to just track his feet as he moved.“Ever’s right. I saw them, too. They were across the street watching. They wanted us to know it was them.”Cree made a disgusted noise. “At least they did some of the hard work for us. If Cherry’s involved, that means it’s 4Loco. That’s one mystery solved.”“I thought they just slung Fentanyl now? You would have thought they’d get the message after what happened to Mercy,” Levi said, twirling a blow pop in his mouth, the candy clicking against his teeth noisily. Each movement displaced Ever’s head slightly, but he didn’t care. The warmth of Levi’s skin bled through his t-shirt to Ever’s cheek and hearing his voice so close was soothing.Still, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Mercy?”“Our sister,” Felix said, giving Jericho a sad smile. “She got trafficked by their crew a long time ago and then sold to some creepy research facility. But by the time we figured out what happened, it was a whole new regime in the gang. They had assured us they were out of that business. Said the cargo was too risky.”“Yeah, guns and dope bring slightly less heat than humans, even if it's not as lucrative,” Lake said.Ever’s heart squeezed. “So you guys just…let them go?” Ever asked.“We’re not like Atticus and the twins. We don’t have an army of lawyers at our beck and call or a Calliope to fabricate fake paper trails. We have to be really careful,” Nico said. “And, like we said, we punished the ones who were involved, but we have to be careful.”“If we killed every criminal in this neighborhood, it would be a massacre. Everyone does what they have to just to survive out there,” Seven added.“What he means is, we have to pick our battles,” Cree said. “The cops turn a blind eye as long as we’re discreet but I don’t think they’d be so forgiving if we dropped a whole crew.”“This is my fault,” Ever said, closing his eyes. “None of this would have happened if I wasn’t with you. Maybe I should—”“Don’t finish that sentence,” Arsen said, voice hard enough to bring Ever’s gaze to his, tears pooling in his eyes. “You’re not going anywhere. Anywhere,” he said again.Ever sniffled, tears rolling down his cheeks. Levi put his arm around him. “You don’t have to yell at him.”Arsen blanched. “What? Who is yelling? I’m not yelling.” He looked at Ever. “I’m not yelling. I’m not mad. Well, I’m not mad at you. But I do need to kill someone…soon. Or I won’t be held responsible for what I do next.”“Damn, firestarter. I didn’t know you had it in you,” Avi teased.Jericho gave Ever a soft smile. The one he seemed to save for Ever and small children. “We’re long past letting you go, little one,” he said. “This isn’t on you. We should have known they weren’t going to let it go after we took out that cop. They were just biding their time. Waiting for us to let our guard down.”Nico sighed. “It's very much an eye for an eye in our neighborhood.”“Yeah, but enough is enough.”All eyes swung to Atticus who was dressed the most casual Ever had ever seen him, wearing black joggers and a threadbare too-tight t-shirt that read JHH Grad Night. Ever didn’t know what that meant, but it made it hard to ignore the way Atticus’s muscles bulged from beneath the sleeves. Ever hadn’t ever noticed how…fit he was before.“Freckles…” Jericho said.Atticus shook his head, his expression full of the same barely contained anger as Arsen. Ever had never seen Atticus or Jericho mad. They both always seemed happy and level-headed.But Atticus was vehement. “No. I get that you’re all about caution, but this is too far. They went after our kids,” he said, sweeping a hand over the group. “You told me when we got married that they were my responsibility too. I don’t like people messing with what’s mine. Neither do you. Why aren’t you angrier? They were perfectly fine burning down the business your father built. They tried to kill Arsen and Ever. What if they hadn’t woken up in time.”Ever flushed, hoping Arsen didn’t feel the need to announce how they had very much not been asleep when the fire started. Though they had been distracted. If Ever hadn’t seduced Arsen on the sofa, who knows what might have happened.“Is it just me or is freckles kind of hot when he’s being all psychotic?” Nico stage whispered.A few others made an affirmative noise that earned a glare from Jericho, before he said, “I know but—”“No.,” Asa said. “I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but I agree with Atticus. They’re throwing down the gauntlet. They are trying to intimidate us.”“There is no us,” Jericho said. “This is our problem.”Atticus scoffed. “Nice try. You don’t get to tell me I inherited your kids, but then you get to disavow my asshole brothers. For better or worse, baby.”Avi snickered. “Baby?”“We want to play too,” Asa said. “Put us in, coach. We know how to send a strong…message to the right people.”“What does that mean?” Ever asked dully, eyes burning.“It means we need a show of force,” Felix said. “They think they can intimidate us, we need to hit back harder." Felix locked eyes with his husband. “Way harder.”Avi nodded. “I get your eye for an eye, Jericho, but the Mulvaney’s…we have our own philosophy.”“And what’s that?” Seven asked, amused.Avi smirked. “You take an eye, we’re gonna take your whole fucking head.”Cree’s eyes went wide, but then he shrugged. “Yeah, I respect it.”“They’re right. We have to make a spectacle,” Zane said. They all looked at him, seemingly surprised. “What? These groups only respect violence. Look at how the cartels handle things. Their kills are always over-the-top, horror movie level brutality. To send a message. Don’t fuck with us. We need to make sure the 4Loco crew knows that messing with Jericho will fuck up their whole world.”Felix looked at Zane fondly. “I love you.”Zane beamed.Ever didn’t quite understand the four of them, but he was grateful for the help. Even though he still thought it would be better…safer…if he just left.“No,” Arsen said.“No?” Levi asked, frowning. “No, what?”“No show of force, no sending a message. I want them dead. All of them. From the top to the lowest level fucking runner. All of them. Dead. I don’t care if I go down for it. Ever won’t feel safe until everyone involved is dead.”Everyone stared at Arsen with varying levels of surprise.“Killing an entire gang…that’s like fifteen people. You bring the cops into this, that’s a lot of heat. And nobody is going to believe you did it alone.”Arsen shrugged. “I don’t care. I want them all dead.”Ever should be more upset, he knew that. Maybe this was just more dissociation, but he didn’t care if they killed everyone. He didn’t care even a little. If anything, he wouldn’t feel safe until he saw their bodies with his own eyes. He just wanted this over.All eyes swung to Jericho, who rubbed his palms over his face. “You know what you’re asking for, right?”Arsen nodded.Asa clapped his hands once. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m excited. I’m hoping you’ll allow the Mulvaney’s to provide the assist? If there’s one thing Avi and I are good at, its making a spectacle of a body.”“It’s practically an art form by now,” Avi agreed.“Fuck,” Jericho said, looking to Atticus.Atticus shrugged. “They’re right. Ever’s not going to feel safe until they’ve all been put down. Just like Noah. It’s just going to be a very intricate operation if we’re going to start dropping cops.”Avi grinned. “Yes. We haven’t had a good slaughter in a long time. It’s time to remind these motherfuckers who they’re messing with.”Jericho rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Al Capone,” he said, pointing at Asa. “We have to tread lightly. They’re not just your garden variety gangbangers. If the 4Loco crew got back into the trafficking game, there’s more than one cop on the payroll. Otherwise it wouldn’t be worth the risk. We need to know how far this goes. We can’t kill an entire police department and this kind of thing only works if we cut off the head of the snake, not the tail.”He settled a hand on the back of Atticus’s neck like he was trying to soothe him.Atticus took out his phone and hit a button. “Callie, remember that back burner project? The human trafficking one? Yeah, they just tried to burn down Jericho’s garage. With the kids in it—Yeah. Priority one.” When he noticed the others staring at him with wide eyes, he said, “She’ll have something for us in a few hours.”“Also,” Felix said when Atticus hung up. “I don’t want to harsh anyone’s murder high, but we’re gonna have to clear this with papa Mulvaney.”The twins exchanged a look, then smiled at Atticus in a way that gave Ever the creeps. “Call Aiden,” they said in unison.“If Aiden asks, he won’t say no,” Avi said.“Yeah, he gives him anything he wants,” Asa finished.“See,” Zane said. “Problem solved.”Problem solved, the words echoed in Ever’s head. Just that easy. He just had to survive until then. Maybe by then, he’d stop feeling so guilty.###It was noon, but it might as well have been midnight. Truth be told, with the blinds and curtains drawn it was darker than any room Ever had been in for some time. It was dark like the closet. So dark it would have scared Ever if he wasn’t numb to it, if it wasn’t for the reassuring thumping of Arsen’s heartbeat beneath his ear.Was it bad that Ever hoped this numb feeling would linger? Jeremiah said therapy often triggered the brain to respond to trauma and that feeling those emotions was part of the healing process. He wanted to get better. He did. But he was so tired. Tired of having no safe haven even in sleep. All those things that had never bothered him, once he’d gotten out, now they were there in spades, so many triggers he could have marked them off on a checklist. A person’s voice. The smell of someone’s cologne. Slamming doors. Food sizzling in a hot pan. Sometimes, like in his sleep, it was nothing at all. Just memories and blind panic.But now, hours after a fire had almost killed them and burned down their house, Ever felt…blissfully numb, like someone had given his brain an anesthetic. And he didn’t want the bad stuff to come back. No matter how much better he’d feel eventually. He would do it. For Arsen. He’d do anything for him, but he hated it. So much.They were supposed to be sleeping. After lunch, Jericho had sent the other boy’s home and then shooed them off to bed, reminding them they’d been up for hours and would need to be well rested for what was to come.Arsen hadn’t said much since the meeting. In the shower, he’d washed Ever’s body and hair, had allowed Ever to do the same for him. He’d even toweled him off and helped him dress. All without uttering a single word. It left Ever feeling untethered, like he was bobbing in the ocean, getting further away from shore.He didn’t like the ambiguity of Arsen’s silence. If he was mad, he’d rather he yell at Ever or something. Hell, even hitting him would be better than the silence, it was rubbing Ever’s nerves raw.It didn’t seem like he was mad. When they’d gotten under the covers, Arsen had pulled him in, arranged the sheets and comforter around them. He wasn’t sleeping anymore than Ever was. He could tell by his breathing and the rapid beat of his heart. But still, he remained silent until Ever couldn’t take it anymore.“Are you mad at me?” Ever finally asked, hating how small his voice sounded.Arsen’s arms tightened around him briefly. “What? No. I told you I wasn't. Why would you ever think that?”Why wouldn’t he think that? He’d done nothing but cause Arsen trouble since the day he’d rescued him. There were people who wanted to kill them, to kill Arsen’s friends, to kill the only father figure he’d ever known…because of Ever. People had tried to burn them alive, had wanted Ever dead so badly they’d set Jericho’s business on fire, knowing there was a potential for it to spread to the apartments next door.“You’ve been really quiet.”“I’m quiet because I’m pissed off. Not at you,” he hurried to add. “At them. At this situation. At the fact that we gave them a chance to walk away, and they chose to engage. So now we have to retaliate. We have to hit back harder. These games make me feel…”Ever tilted his head up, just barely able to see Arsen’s silhouette in the shadows. “Make you feel…”Arsen didn’t answer right away. Ever wasn’t sure he’d answer at all. He returned his head to Arsen’s chest, letting the sound of his heart lull him. When Arsen did speak, the words vibrated through his chest, beneath Ever’s ear. “It makes me feel like my father.”Ever sucked in a sharp breath, jerking his head up to look at Arsen. “You’re nothing like him. Your father was a monster. He killed your mom because he was a bad person.”“I’ve killed people too.”Ever shook his head vehemently. “You killed Jennika because she was a bad person. That’s not the same. You kill to keep people safe.”Arsen threaded his fingers in Ever’s hair, blunt nails scratching over his scalp in a way that made him feel tingly and sleepy. “Logically, I know that. But sitting there, in a room full of men who kill for fun as much as for necessity— hearing them throw around words like retaliation and show of force makes me feel like I’m no better than my mob enforcer father.”Ever’s heart twisted. He didn’t want to be the cause of Arsen’s distress. Maybe it was selfish to want his abusers dead. Maybe things would die down on their own if they just gave it a chance. He’d be okay with that if it made Arsen happy. He only wanted Arsen happy.“You don’t have to do this,” Ever said, squeezing Arsen with the arm thrown over his waist. “We could let the Mulvaney’s take care of it. Or we can just…wait and see. Maybe they’ll think the fire was enough to scare me into silence,” he finished quietly.“You’re dead is a pretty straightforward threat, besenok. Besides, I do want them dead. I want all of them dead for what they did to you. And when they’re dead, I won’t feel an ounce of pity or guilt, my father never felt that way either. Sometimes I wonder if my father and I are just two sides of the same coin.”Arsen was nothing like his father. His father was a monster who tried to make his son do his dirty work for him, then somehow turned himself into the victim. Arsen was sweet and kind and gentle and beautiful. He was bright and colorful and…perfect. He was the best thing that ever happened to Ever.Then he remembered something he’d read in a book once. “Isn’t a coin’s luck good or bad based on whether it lands heads or tails? That is something real, right?” Ever asked, face growing hot.What other nineteen-year-old didn’t know the difference between what was real and what was fake? His stomach churned, hoping Arsen didn’t think he was stupid for not knowing something so simple.“It’s a superstition, but many people believe it,” Arsen said. “I believe it.”Ever felt something unknot within him. “Well if you’re the same coin, then you're the good side and he’s the bad. That’s all that matters.”Arsen squeezed him, then kissed the top of his head. “I suppose you’re right.”Ever’s hand slid up under Arsen’s t-shirt, tracing the ridges of his muscles. He wasn’t trying to start anything, just suddenly needed to be as close to him as possible and the heat of his skin was hard to resist.They lay in silence for a long while, still not sleeping. Ever’s mind started to wander, a new different panic starting to seep into his thoughts. Panic about the future. He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “What happens after?”There was a long pause, then Arsen asked, “After what?”Ever’s heart tripped. “After they’re all dead. What happens to us? To me?”Arsen’s answer came much faster this time. “Nothing happens. We go back to living our lives. You’re going to get a new birth certificate and a new social security number and then you can do or be anything you want.”That sounded like a fairy tale. A story much too good to be true. “Not everyone gets happily ever after.”“Maybe so, but I’ll die trying to make sure you get yours,” Arsen said.“Its not that simple. A new name isn’t going to teach me math. According to Jeremiah I have the education of a sixth grader. I definitely can’t do what I want.”“Jeremiah also said your IQ was above average and that you’re super smart. Just because nobody ever taught you, doesn’t mean you can’t be taught. I’m good at math and numbers, but I’m terrible at reading and history and I went all the way through high school, barely making a C in my core classes. All those boring facts about dead people who only seemed to make things worse. I don’t care about Poland in the ‘30s.”Ever smiled at the disgust in his voice. As if that lesson in particular had been the final straw to kill Arsen’s love of history. “I just want to know what everybody else does.”“We’re all just faking it, besenok. You know as much as the rest of us. The math they taught us in school, I’ve never needed it once. You can learn addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Everything else was a waste. None of us knew the important things like filing taxes or creating a budget. They didn’t teach us how to be adults, just how to sit quietly in a room for eight hours for little to no reward. You’re not nearly as behind as you think you are. But I can and will teach you whatever you want to know…except history. I won’t do it.”Ever smiled. “Okay.” Something else occurred to him then. “Will I get to keep my first name when I get my new birth certificate?”“I don’t see why not?” Arsen said. “In two days, there won’t be enough people left from your old life to matter. Only us.”Ever dropped a kiss on Arsen’s chest. “What about my last name? Will they just pick a random one for me?”Arsen was quiet for a bit. “It doesn’t matter what your last name is.”Ever frowned. “Why?”“Because eventually it will be mine.”