Vengeful Bonds - Ch. 5 (Patreon)

Here it is, the chapter you voted on. In the end it was a mixture of everything? Hopefully you like it. It's not beta'd or edited. It might be literal trash. I'm so fucking tired. I wrote 23 pages for my other company and then 4500 words of this. I'm practically cross-eyed. I'll re-read tomorrow with fresh eyes. So don't judge me too harshly if it seems like I was drunk when I wrote it. 

Chapter 5

Seth

A soft cry passed Seth’s lips but Fen swallowed it down, mouth sliding over his, drinking up all the little sounds he couldn’t keep to himself. Seth’s limbs felt heavy, his thoughts felt heavy too, his movements syrupy. This was what he’d needed. San below him, Fen’s body blanketed over him, lying between his legs, his weight pressing him just right, driving away his fears, the ones he’d been too afraid to name for days.

The three were settled on Seth’s full-size bed, a show still playing softly in the background. If pressed, Seth couldn’t have even guessed what it was. He didn’t care. He’d tried so hard to keep the panic at bay, but the moment they’d entered his room, the scent of his heat still lingering, the scent of not one but two unfamiliar Alpha’s permeating his sacred space…the floodgates had opened.

But, as always, Fen had known what he needed. Like he could read his thoughts, Fen’s tongue swept across the seam of his lips once more. Seth opened easily, letting him take what he wanted, inhaling deeply, practically high off the calming pheromones Fen pumped into the room. This was waht he’d needed.

San had started out beside them, just sketching, ignoring the two kissing and giggling until not even Fen’s teasing could push away the thoughts threatening to overtake him. That’s when he’d put down his sketch pad and set the pillow into his lap, guiding Seth’s head there, catching Fen’s gaze like they were communicating without words. Any other day Seth might have gotten mad at the feeling of being left out, but tonight he was too busy trying to choke back his panic.

Seth had San’s other hand in a death grip, holding his inner wrist right against his nose even while Fen kissed him. He needed San’s alpha scent to block out the others. Binnie was sweet and Seth was sure Loch was great, but right now, they were very much the source of his misery, whether they knew it or not.

Seth’s eyelids fluttered as Fen continued to explore, lips leaving his mouth to press wet kisses to his jaw, his ear, the spot just below that made Seth shiver.

“You doing okay, baby?” Fen asked huskily.

Seth nodded frantically. “Don’t stop.”

“Nobody’s gonna stop,” San promised, his voice an octave lower than usual. “We just don’t want to push you.”

Something ugly twisted inside Seth. He knew he shouldn’t have told them he was a virgin. He was sure they’d already figured it out, but given the looks on their face earlier, he’d been wrong. Somehow, that made him feel both better and worse. It was nice that his friends thought someone might find him desirable, but depressing that they were wrong.

“I want more,” Seth begged, nosing at the sensitive skin of San’s wrist. “I’m so-”

“Wet,” San finished.

Seth moaned, cheeks stained pink. “Don’t say it,” he groaned.

Fen chuckled, dipping his head to lap over Seth’s scent gland. He moaned and canted his hips, whining in frustration when Fen’s hips pinned him in place, denying him some much needed friction.

Fan took Seth’s hand and guided it to his ass. The fabric was slightly damp, the sweet scent in the air wasn’t just Seth’s slick but Fen’s. He was worked up too. “See, baby, it’s not just you.”

Seth whined. “Can you…”

“Can I what?” Seth teased, forehead bumping against San’s arm where Seth still had it in a death grip.

“Get me off?” Seth whined. “Can you make me come?”

“Fuck,” San whispered, his scent intensifying in a way that had both Omegas whimpering. “Do you want me to go?” San asked.

Seth’s chest tightened and he forced his anvil-heavy lids to open, gazing up at his best friend. “No, stay. I can’t do this without you, without your scent. There’s too many strangers…” he trailed off, not wanting to make Fen feel bad.

It wasn’t Fen’s fault Seth was still so…raw. He’d been off since his heat. This gnawing ache had settled into his core during his first symptoms, only intensifying as he went through the worst of it alone. When he’d come out the other side, five days later, he’d thought the ache would have left, but instead it had only deepened, making a home behind Seth’s sternum.

“You sure you want me to do this for you? You don’t want to wait?” Fen asked.

“Wait for what?” Seth asked, this sudden sorrow choking out all rational thought.

“For your Alpha?” Fen asked. “Your mate? You’ve waited this long to have sex, it has to be for a reason?”

“Yes, the reason is I’m unfuckable,” Seth said, uncharacteristically sullen.

San scoffed and Fen giggled.

“Hardly,” Fen promised. “You’re one of the prettiest Omegas I’ve ever seen,” he promised, capturing Seth’s mouth in a filthy kiss that was all teeth and spit. Seth couldn’t stop the moan that erupted from his lips, his teeth grazing San’s wrist, causing San’s breath to catch in his throat.

This was uncharted territory. Not the kissing. Seth and Fen ended up wrapped around each other more often than not, needing the touch, the scent of a pack member. Kissing was just a natural progression of this need to be as close as possible, to puppy pile on top of each other, contented and warm. San was usually present, but not a participant, not really. He would sit beside them, watching television, sketching, sometimes sketching them. Just…existing. Just a safe and familiar presence, an Alpha watching over them with no expectations.

But it was different tonight. The three were all on edge, all unsettled, their home had been invaded by strangers and now the balance was off, the scent was wrong—no, not wrong—different. There had been no time for Seth to adjust, to see what was coming.

Usually the kissing was enough, usually San’s presence was enough. But, tonight, he needed more and he needed it from his pack. That’s what they were for. Seth curled a leg over Fen’s hip, both of them groaning when it brought their cocks into the perfect position, both of them grinding into each other almost as if they couldn’t help it. “Yeah,” Seth pleaded. “More of that. I can get off like this. Please, Fen.”

Fen’s lips found his, giving him a devouring kiss, sucking like he was trying to pull the lingering taste of Seth’s sour gummies from his tongue. Fuck. This was good. Yeah, this was what he needed. Some rawness, some aggression. “More,” he begged into Fen’s mouth.

Fen pulled back, giving a knowing look to San. Seth gasped as San’s soothing fingers knotted in Seth’s hair, yanking his head to the side roughly, making room for Fen to mouth at his scent gland, right where his mating bite would be. Another wave of slick leaked from his hole, his body desperate for the one thing he couldn’t have…or the one thing he didn’t have at least. An Alpha. His Alpha.

San growled above him, the noise shaking Seth’s insides, his Omega helpless to resist the pull. Fen was affected too, he began to rock against Seth, the friction causing them both to whine and pant, moving like their bodies had a mind of their own.

What would it be like to do this with someone who loved him—like wholly and completely, his true mate, his Alpha, the one Seth was starting to think got hit by a bus, leaving him alone in this world. Seth’s palm slid up Fen’s bare leg, stopping just below his shorts, fingers teasing his way underneath as he tried to push the thoughts of this non-existent dream man from his head.

“Soft…” Seth noted without thought. Fen’s legs were so smooth, so soft. He was so pretty. They both were. Seth’s beautiful friends, both of whom probably found their soulmates today.

He couldn’t stop the sob that choked out, but luckily, they seemed to think it was from pleasure, not pain. He needed to stop thinking about it but it was hard, even with Fen kissing him again and again, even with San pumping his Alpha hormones into the room until the air felt soupy.

Fen’s hand circled Seth’s throat gently, squeezing just a bit at the sides, the possessive gesture rocketing him closer to his release. He gave another low whine, his hand now sliding up the leg of Fen’s shorts to feel bare skin, fingers teasing between the globes of his ass. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

Fen flushed but preened. “I know. I can’t help it. I’m just…sensitive. And you’re hot and San’s scent has my Omega in a chokehold.”

San’s breathing was growing increasingly heavy, harsh breaths rushing out through his nose, his one hand still knotted in Seth’s hair, the other still beneath Seth’s nose. Seth could feel him rocking against the pillow beneath his head.

He was really getting the short end of the stick. Seth would invite him to have a more active role but San would refuse. There was a line he would never cross, not with two unmated Omegas. Not that San had any interest in an Omega. Like Fen, he only dated Betas.

Until now. Another shock of pain pierced his heart. They were going to leave him. Start a new pack with Binnie and this Loch guy.

Fen’s lips grazed his ear. “What’s wrong, baby. I can taste how sad you are. Talk to us.”

Seth shook his head. “I don’t want to talk. Just want to come. Want you to come too. I can feel you leaking everywhere.”

“Cause you get me all wet too.” Fen beamed at him, then dipped his head to lick over his scent gland again and again, right where a mating bite might go. Another spike of heat shot through him, his cock throbbing. He could practically feel the sting of fangs sinking into the skin there.

Seth grimaced as more slick leaked from his neglected hole. “You’re getting me so worked up.”

“I hope so, cause I’m getting close. Do you want my hand? My mouth?” Fen asked.

“No,” Seth gasped quickly. “Like this. I’m close, too. Just…grind on me.”

San grunted, shifting his hips beneath him. Fen returned his attention to torturing Seth’s throat, teeth dragging along the sensitive skin, then sucking on the spot until it stung. Seth whined, wiggling from San’s grip to nuzzle his mouth against Fen’s throat. He wanted to mark him too. Wanted this random Alpha to know that he couldn’t take his family, his pack. That the three of them were a package deal.

Tears pricked at his eyes, but he blinked them away rapidly, rolling his hips up to meet each of Fen’s downward grinds, releasing these tiny sobs as the heat in his core intensified with each movement. He squeezed Fen’s cheeks, dragging their cocks together, picking up the pace.

Fen gasped against his collarbone. “Oh, fuck,” he moaned.

Sometimes he wished he could just fall in love with Fen. In a way maybe he was…a little. But it didn’t feel like romance…it felt like comfort, family. In less than a year, Fen and Seth had become just as bonded as Seth and San. Fen called them his soulmates. He said it was because they were born exactly six months apart, at the exact same minute. He swore that had to mean something astrologically.

Seth didn’t know much about astrology, but he did know that they had a bond that transcended normal friendship. He'd never felt this level of comfort around anyone but San. Finding Fen had felt like another piece of a puzzle falling into place, even though a voice inside told him their puzzle wasn’t finished. Seth had known, deep knew, deep in his soul, that the three of them were cosmically linked.

There’d always been a piece in that. Until today. Today it felt like a lie. He should tell them what was on his mind. They’d be pissed that he didn’t. But he couldn’t handle the empty platitudes and reassurances. They would promise they’d always be together, but they couldn’t promise that anymore.

Seth’s anxiety often got the best of him. He’d spent his whole life trying to keep it to himself, not wanting to burden his fragile mother anymore than he had to. She’d already carried more than she could bear. After a while, hiding it was just his normal.

Seth cried out as Fen shifted, pulling Seth’s legs higher over his hips, sending jolts of white hot pleasure through him with every movement. Oh, fuck. This was good. This was perfect. He just needed a little more.

Seth hadn’t been lying when he told Fen his views on sex were pretty old-fashioned. He wasn’t waiting for some Alpha to chase him through the woods and publicly claim him or anything. But…well, the idea didn’t disgust him as much as the independent part of his brain said it should.

When Seth was trying to get himself off, like now, it wasn’t sweet romantic sex that got him there. No, it was giving in to his most basic instincts. Letting himself imagine what it would be like to be held down and fucked, used and bred, fucked full and knotted while his Alpha whispered filth into his ear.

Another low moan escaped from low in his throat, as much from their movements as from the visions now flooding his post-heat brain. Was it his fault he wanted that? Did that make him a bad person? Did it make him a traitor to other Omegas? He hoped not. It was hardly his fault. He came wired this way.

All Omegas wanted that, especially during their heat. No matter how independent they were on the outside. That’s why most of them used suppressants. Not only were heats wildly inconvenient, Alphas and Omegas lost all ability to think rationally. There was no logic or reason. Only take and be taken. Breed or be bred. And Seth hated how much he loved that.

Not that he’d ever experienced it. His last heat had lasted five days but the intensity of it had been the worst he’d experienced since his presentation. Every hour alone felt like weeks. He’d been sweating, his cramps practically crippling him even with his pain killers. And there was no relief. Nothing had been able to satiate him, no knotted dildo, no Alpha porn, no dirty fantasies.

So Seth had spent five days whining and begging an empty room to breed him, knot him, put pups in him. Every now and again, he caught his reflection in the mirror and shame would rush through him. He looked pathetic on all fours, mouth hanging open, drooling and crying as he desperately fucked himself onto some latex knot that would never be enough. His body knew the difference. So did Seth.

“Come on, baby,” Fen whispered right against his ear. “Just imagine I’m him, your Alpha, imagine him telling you how he won’t give you his knot, won’t breed your tight little hole until you come for him at least once.”

Seth whimpered, rutting against Fen faster. San snarled.

“More,” Seth begged, praying Fen knew what he meant.

“Come for me and I’ll let you present for me, little Omega,” Fen taunted, practically purring. “I’ll knot you over and over until you're so stuffed full people will think you’re already knocked up.”

Seth’s orgasm hit him like a train, his mouth opening in a silent scream as his vision went white with its intensity. From his haze, he heard San groan a second before Fen whined high in his ear, his hips kicking against Fen’s in tiny aborted movements, the wet warmth of his release added to Seth’s own.

The moment the high of his orgasm disappeared, his sadness returned. Tears sprang to his eyes once more, but this time he didn’t have it in him to stop them. He heard Fen’s fretful sound, felt the bed shift beneath him. He could only lay there and cry pathetically as Fen stripped him down, wiping him with a warm cloth, before dressing him in clean boxer briefs and his favorite soft t-shirt.

San scooped him up in his arms, holding him while Fen made short work of changing his sheets. As soon as he finished, Seth found himself sandwiched between his two favorite people in the whole world.

“Spill it,” San demanded softly, his lips against Seth’s hair.

What was he supposed to say? He was lonely? Horny? Desperate to know what a real Alpha knot felt like. That he didn’t think he’d ever be truly complete until he was knotted and bred, railed into the mattress until his knees gave out? That he needed an Alpha to call him names and stuff him full of pups.

Fen’s dirty words filtered back through his head. He already knew. They both did. But that was only half the issue. They didn’t know they were the other reason he was spiraling.

He shook his head, sniffling. “It’s…nothing. Really. I’m just…I got a little too in my head about…things.”

“What kind of things?” Fen asked, kissing his cheek, his chin, his nose.

“Nothing. It’s not a big deal,” he said, trying to mean it.

“You tell me right now,” Fen demanded. “Or I’ll make San hold you down so I can tickle you until you wet your pants. And these are your last set of clean sheets.”

Seth made a noise of frustration.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Fen asked again. “I can smell your stress. We can. What has you so worked up?”

“Nothing, really,” he promised, but let Fen guide Seth’s nose to his neck, inhaling deeply.

“Oh, please. I can practically hear you thinking from here,” San assured him.

“Come on, spill it,” Fen cajoled. “You’re a terrible liar. Just tell us what’s got your panties in a twist. Is this just post heat blues? Is your inner Omega telling you to find a mate?” His face collapsed, fresh tears starting. “Oh, baby. Is that really it? You’re so young. It’s gonna happen. I know it.”

Seth shook his head. They just didn’t get it. Even if he found some Alpha that somehow respected him outside the bedroom but not in it, Seth would never be able to relax enough to let anything happen.

Relationships came with too much anxiety for him. He overthought every word, every sentence, spent hours analyzing every look or gesture. It was just too much. He’d resigned himself to spending the rest of his life nesting with Fen and San in their cozy little apartment. Seth loved their little family.

It had never occurred to him that he might lose it. Not so quickly. Not all at once. But now Fen was coming home smelling like strange Alphas and San was stuttering and blushing anytime they said Binnie’s name. He was going to turn around one day and poof, they’d be gone.

When he realized they were waiting expectantly, he said, “You of all people should know I’m not even wearing panties,” Seth joked weakly, earning a swat on the ass from San.

“Talk,” San demanded. “Don’t make me use my Alpha voice on you.”

Seth pulled his face from Fen’s neck to crane his head over his shoulder, giving him a scathing look. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me,” San shot back, arching one perfectly sculpted brow.

“That’s illegal,” Seth gasped, breathless.

San scoffed. “Call a cop.”

Omegas were unable to refuse an Alpha’s request. They’d made it a criminal offense thirty years ago. An alpha couldn’t use their voice to compel an Omega to do something against their will. It still happened, of course. Just maybe not as frequently. Or maybe just not publicly. He knew San was bluffing, but he also knew they weren’t going to let this go.

What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell them the truth. Maybe Fen or San wouldn’t totally abandon him, but spending his life as a permanent fifth wheel in his friends' relationships seemed almost more pathetic than just retreating to the middle of nowhere and waiting to die of loneliness. And despite what Fen said, he doubted any Alpha was going to just be okay with Fen and Seth kissing each other, touching each other…and that really made Seth sad because Fen was the only person who made him feel safe enough to enjoy himself.

“I’m fine,” Seth said for what felt like the nine hundredth time. But maybe that was him counting all the times he’d tried to reassure himself of that in the last hour or so. “Great even. My friends might have just met the loves of their lives. Yay,” he finished weakly.

San snorted and Fen shook his head, gathering him against him even tighter. “You’re ridiculous. I saw the man one time and we sniffed each other. It wasn’t a marriage proposal.”

San threw a leg and an arm over both Seth and Fen, nuzzling his nose against Seth’s neck. “And I am certainly not going to fall for some political Ken doll Alpha just because he smells good and is wearing Armani,” San said against his skin.

Fen and Seth looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“You think he smells good?” Fen questioned, his voice full of faux innocence.

“I have a nose. Just because he smells nice doesn’t mean I’m just gonna suddenly decide I want to roll over for him,” San said, voice dripping with disdain.

Seth shook his head, happy to focus on someone other than him. “Why are you so sure he’s a top?”

Fen nodded. “Agreed. You are making assumptions just because of his secondary gender. You didn’t see him at his office. He’s all about Omega rights. And even if he was a top—which is not the vibe I’m getting—I guarantee you he’d be willing to compromise.”

Seth nodded, sniffling, tears dry but eyes stinging. “Fen’s right. Besides, with the way he looked at you…he’d probably let you mount him on the front lawn of the White House if you so much as batted an eyelash at him. He looked at you like he’d stumbled upon an angel in our kitchen.”

San sniffed, cheeks pinkening prettily. “Well, he was right about that. I do deserve to be worshiped and praised. ” San shrugged one well-muscled shoulder. “But not by him.”

“You are protesting too much,” Fen said. “I think you like him.”

San propped his elbow onto the bed, his chin resting on his palm. “And what about you? Huh? How are you going to work alongside this neck-sniffing Alpha without catching feelings?”

“Easily,” Fen said, rolling his eyes. “I’m focused. I have a mission and it has nothing to do with falling in love.”

Seth hated the way his heart kicked behind his ribs, this heavy feeling of loneliness settling over him again. It was so stupid. Why did that make him want to cry? Because he wanted to fall in love? Because he wanted someone to fight past his defenses? To see how fucked up he was and love him anyway? That Alpha didn’t exist. He was just some fairy tale Seth told himself at night when he was horny.

And now he was going to lose Fen and San too.

Before Seth could spiral any deeper, the doorbell rang. They all exchanged looks, then San looked at the clock. There was only one person who would show up unannounced at that time of night. San sighed, then slipped out of bed, heading to the front door, Seth and Fen dragged themselves out of bed, following behind, arriving just in time to see San swing the door open. Deacon stood on the welcome mat, tattered backpack in hand, makeup flawless.

“Can I stay here for a while?” he asked, his bright smile in direct opposition with his sad eyes.

San dragged the younger boy past the threshold, wrapping his arms around him. “What happened this time?”

“Nothing knew,” he muttered. “My brothers kicked me out…again.”

San growled low in the back of his throat, then dropped a kiss on the boy’s thick black hair. “Tea?”

Deacon nodded. “Sure.”

Fen and Seth threaded an arm through each of Deacon’s leading him to the couch, then flanking him on either side, resting their heads on his broad shoulders. Deacon Maren was the baby of eight. All boys. All Alphas. All presented at fifteen. A full year before most people.

All except Deke.

Deke was twenty-one and still unpresented. Most secondary genders presented between sixteen and nineteen. But Deke never experienced any heat or rut, no change in his senses. He was an enigma. And his family hated him for it.

“What happened this time?” San said, placing a cup of chamomile tea on the coffee table before the boy.

Deke shrugged. “Same shit. My brothers implying I was a bitch—their word, not mine—because I wear makeup and don’t dress like I drag all my clothes through a swamp before I wear them. They’re insults are so unoriginal.”

Seth studied Deke. He was tall and lean, solid muscle but more like a swimmer, not as big as Binnie, but not as lithe as San. He had hooded, almost feline hazel eyes, emphasized by the black liner he wore and a mischievous smile that always looked like he knew a secret he was dying to share.

“I think you should just stay here,” Seth said abruptly. “Like, permanently.”

San and Fen looked at him, their shock evident.

“What?” Seth asked, his voice going up an octave. “He’s couch surfing two or three nights a week at least. Why not just make it permanent?”

San studied him in that way he did when he was reading his mind. Not literally, but maybe literally. Somehow he always seemed to know just what Seth was thinking. And right now Seth was thinking having Deke around would be a nice buffer, someone for Seth to love and fuss on while his friends found their soulmates and abandoned him.

Finally, San looked at Fen, who shrugged. “Fine with me. I love having you around.”

Deke blinked at them. “Really?” he asked, suddenly shy. “Are-Are you sure?”

“Totally. As long as you don’t mind couch surfing or sharing a bed with San,” Fen said.

“I’ll sleep on the floor, hell I’ll sleep on the balcony if it means I don’t have to go back to that place,” Deke said.

Seth nodded. “Good, it’s perfect,” he said, plastering a fake smile across his face. He jumped to his feet. “I’ll go get you some pillows and blankets. It’s late. We should all get some sleep.”

“Thanks,” Deke said, narrowing his eyes at Seth.

Seth didn’t blame him, he probably sounded manic. Which, to be fair, he was. He had just reached the hall when he heard Deke ask, “Uh, guys. Why does it smell like you had an orgy in here?”