Vengeful Bonds - ch. 8 - San (Patreon)

San is NOT happy. Hope you enjoy meeting my very dramatic, over sensitive artist. Unbeta'd/Unedited. More Rogue chapters dropping this week. <3

San was seething. Not mad, not angry, but seething. He tried to get himself in check but he was losing the fight, sliding back into old patterns. He could feel himself attempting to dissociate, could feel that throbbing red rage that made his heart race and the rational part of his brain hit pause. He hated this feeling, hated how quickly something inside him wanted to choose violence over logic. H’ed worked so hard to put that part of himself on a high shelf, only dusting it off when there was no other choice.

But Deke was hurt. When San had first seen the boy, he was certain his nose had been fractured, but as he’d poked and prodded at it he was relieved to see there was no break. With the blood gone, all Deke really had to show for his ordeal was two black eyes, a swollen nose and a fat lip. That knowledge did nothing to quell the mess of feelings churning inside San and his frustration over his own behavior was just making things worse.

He’d worked hard not to let his anger get the best of him. When he was a teenager, newly presented as an alpha, he’d immediately had a bulls-eye on his back. Guys who’d been so sure he would present as an omega, who’d been waiting for their chance to try to make a play for him, had immediately turned to aggression. Everyone had prepared for San to present as an omega, just like Seth. Hell, San had prepared for that. It’s not like he didn’t have eyes. He looked like an omega.

Sure, he was taller than many omegas, but he was long and lean, muscular but not bulky. His dance teacher had used words like lithe and willowy to describe him, calling his movements graceful and elegant. He had very refined, almost feminine features, liked to keep his hair long, liked his clothes flowy and soft. And those same things those alphas had loved about him when they thought he’d be an omega, they now hated in him. Nowadays, most alphas ignored him or just made snarky comments. But in high school…high school had been a nightmare.

Alphas wanted to fight him. They were so angry at him for not being some pretty thing they could own that they needed to hurt him for it, to punish him. And, back then, San had wanted to prove he was every bit an alpha as they were, that even if he didn’t look like one, he fought like one. But no matter how many fights he won, there was always another battle and another. That’s when Seth begged him to stop trying. Asked him why he even cared what a bunch of alpha jocks thought about him, guys that he wouldn’t have given the time of day even if he had presented as an omega.

Seth had been right. But wanting to be better and being better weren’t the same thing. His aggression was a part of himself he had to actively learn to control. And he had. Eventually. He’d done that by focusing on calming pursuits. His painting, dance, yoga, things that brought him peace. He’d left that angry, aggressive kid back in high school.

Until today.

Today, no amount of namaste or deep breathing could bring down the near feral desire to tear someone apart. No, not someone. Binnie. Where was he? How could he just leave them hanging? He’d told them to call if there was an emergency and then sent San straight to voicemail. Three times. Deke could have died. For what? Why make the fucking offer to help if he hadn’t meant it.

San shouldn’t have even made the call. He’d made himself look weak, like he wasn’t capable of handling his own business, and for what? But at the time he’d only cared about Deke’s safety. But in the end it hadn’t even mattered. He’d sacrificed his pride for nothing. And now he felt…stupid. He should have known. He should have known Binnie wasn’t trustworthy. No alphas were.

The front door slammed open, bouncing off the wall then Seth and Fen came crashing into the room, door rocketing shut behind them. Upon seeing Deke cradled in San’s arms, they both immediately fell on him. Seth dropped to the sofa, pressed against San and pulled Deke’s legs over his own lap. Fen dropped to his knees by the arm of the couch where he could snatch Deke’s hand in his own.

“Oh, my God. Deke, I’m so sorry,” Fenny managed, voice thick with unshed tears. “I never thought someone might try to hurt you.”

Fen’s sorrow was potent, his scent sharp. San wanted to comfort him but knew it wouldn’t do any good. Even though there was no way anyone could have anticipated someone going after Deke, Fen was going to feel guilty. And it wasn’t San’s place to reassure Fen, anyway. He wasn’t the one who was beat up and forced to hide in a dumpster.

“It’s okay,” Deke promised, giving Fen a reassuring smile. “Seriously. It’s all good. Now that it’s over, it feels kind of surreal. And once my nose stops throbbing and I’m not seeing two of everybody it’ll be a really cool story.”

San startled when Fen snagged his hand as well, choking on a sob as he said, “Don’t hate me. I’m so sorry. You know I would never do anything to hurt him, right?”

“Why are you apologizing to me?” San asked, bewildered.

Seth scoffed. “Probably because you’re choking us out with your alpha pheromones. I can barely breathe past the hostility.”

“I can’t smell it,” Deke said, disappointed.

Seth shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “ It’s making my omega…”

“Scared?” Deke asked.

“Horny,” Seth countered.

San rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. I’m pissed, but it has nothing to do with any of you,” he said. “I’m pissed about a lot of things. Not the least of which is someone going out of their way to lure Deke to the middle of nowhere just to try to–what?–break into our apartment? Once he’d given up his keycard who knows what would have happened to him.”

“It’s weird, right?” Fen asked, still holding San’s hand. “Like you’d think some spooky black ops type paramilitary group wouldn’t have to beat up a kid to steal a keycard. There had to be more to it than that.”

“They said they just wanted information,” Deke grimaced. “They only got the chance to ask me about the keycard. I didn’t give them the chance to ask about anything more.”

“They probably would have killed you after they were done with him,” Seth said, shivering.

“Why do you say that?” Deke asked, voice not nearly as confident as it had been moments ago.

Seth’s face paled like the reality of what might have happened was really starting to sink in. “Because if they let you go and you told us they’d taken our keycard, we could have just had the locks changed. They were going to interrogate you and then probably kill you.”

They all jumped at a knock on the door. “Who’s that?”

Fen flushed. “I called Loch,” he said almost bashfully, getting to his feet in one graceful movement. “I-I figured he should know.”

San gave a stilted nod. At least he’d answered when Fen had called. If San had Loch’s number saved in his phone would he have called him instead of Binnie? He hated how clear the ‘no’ in his head was. It would never have occurred to him to call Loch. Why?

Because Loch belongs to Fen, but Binnie is yours.

He shook the thought away, bracing himself for having yet another alpha in their home. Hopefully, they would understand his anger was in response to the situation and not take it as some kind of antagonization. He really didn’t want to fight or deal with any huge misunderstandings.

But it wasn’t one alpha who stepped into the living room, but two. The tall fair one with the big blue eyes and dimples had to be Loch. Fen wasn’t wrong. He was unfairly attractive, but standing together they looked like an advertisement for something super wholesome. Like milk or yogurt. Striking, for sure, but very much the poster children for the classic alpha/omega pairing. They gazed at each other, so obviously fascinated  even Deke giggled. And he couldn’t even smell the pheromones they were putting off.

But that wasn’t the most curious thing happening in that living room. Seth had gone still as a statue, like if he made no sudden moves, he could remain invisible to the stranger currently staring a hole through him. The other alpha, a dark haired man with full brows, supermodel cheekbones and a scar on his left cheek, must be Saint. He was slightly shorter than Loch, sexy in that bad boy way that all but guaranteed they’d cast him as a brooding vampire or brooding criminal or brooding lone wolf guy. Emphasis on brooding.

Seth loved a bad boy. And true to character, his little omega was actively refusing to look at the newcomer,  smelling both terrified and horny. Saint seemed undeterred by Seth’s lack of attention, sucking up lungfuls of his roommate's scent, indicating he was definitely picking up what Seth was putting out.

This was a very interesting development.

“Sorry,” Loch explained, looking distressed. “I got here as soon as I could. Binnie’s place isn’t far but DC traffic is a nightmare,” His gaze landed on Deke, bright blue eyes scanning over his injuries. “You good?”

Deke gave a single nod. “It was a lot worse an hour ago, but I feel okay.”

“Alpha?” Loch asked Deke.

Deke flushed. “Unpresented.”

Loch frowned, his brows knitting together. “Are you—Oh, I didn’t know you were a kid. Shit, yeah we need a plan now.”

“I’m twenty-two,” Deke said,  defensive.

“And still unpresented?” Saint said, speaking for the first time.

His voice was rich and smooth and made Seth shiver. The other alpha’s  inquiry didn’t seem malicious, just abrupt, like Deke’s lack of secondary gender confused him.

San answered for him. “For now. He’s just a late-bloomer.”

Saint nodded as if that was a sufficient explanation. Before anyone could move on from the awkward hiccup in the conversation, there was another knock on the door. Everyone turned to Loch.

“It's probably Binnie and Ollie,” Loch said. “I hope you don’t mind. When I told them what happened, Binnie insisted on coming to check on you guys.”

Just like that, San’s fury came roaring right back, a painful ball lodged behind his sternum. So he answered Loch’s calls but not San’s. Got it.

Fen disappeared to answer the door. He greeted the new guests. San handed Deke off to Seth, getting to his feet. Deke slipped into his vacated spot.

Binnie entered first. San’s heart kicked in his chest, sharp and painful. What was wrong with him? It didn’t mean anything. Binnie was attractive, alpha or not. San wasn’t blind. He wasn’t immune to attractive men. He looked good, really good. Binnie in a suit was something, but him in casual clothes was…distracting. Nobody should look that good in black joggers, a far to revealing black v-neck tee, and a zip-front hoodie the same color as his white Balenciaga sneakers. He looked hot…and expensive.

San had a hard time tearing his gaze from the glimpse of golden skin at the dip of Binnie’s t-shirt. When he finally dragged his eyes back to Binnie’s face, he found he was scrutinizing San as well. He forced himself not to adjust his oversized black sweater or linger on whether his flowy pants were wrinkled from having sat on the couch beneath Deke for so long.

Binnie hadn’t come alone either. There was a man with him. He was adorable in that handsome sidekick kind of way. Average height, honey brown hair, whiskey eyes framed by a pair of black framed glasses. He had a friendly, affable smile and seemed to be more comfortable pretending to be a piece of the furniture, leaning against the wall observing the group.

Deke locked in on him immediately. “Holy shit,” he whispered, an entirely useless endeavor in a room full of people with superior hearing. “He looks like someone took Harry Styles DNA and mixed it with a  golden retriever puppy.”

The golden retriever in question’s lips quivered as if fighting a laugh, but he kept his eyes forward as if trying not to embarrass Deke.

San liked him instantly.

“This is Saint and Ollie and Loch,” Binnie said, pointing at each in turn. “This is San and Seth and Fen and…”

“Deke,” Deke replied, still distracted by the golden retriever.

Binnie would know exactly who Deke was if he’d bothered to answer the phone when San called.

He was moving without thought, wrapping his hand around Binnie’s wrist. “Can we talk privately?” he asked, already pulling him from the room.

“What? Uh, I mean, yeah. Sure?” Binnie sputtered, letting San drag him into his bedroom before slamming the door shut behind them.

Only once they were standing in total silence did San’s actions really sink in. He’d just dragged another alpha into his inner sanctum. He barely let Seth and Fen in there. But there Binnie was, releasing his alpha pheromones all over San’s private space and smelling like campfire smoke and cherries in a way that was irritatingly distracting.

Binnie said nothing, eyes scanning over the easel in the corner, the paints strewn everywhere, the stack of canvases. When his eyes met San’s again there was an expectant look behind them.

Right.

San had asked to talk to him.

Alone.

“You didn’t answer my call,” he snapped. “Deke almost died.”

Binnie’s eyes went wide. “What?” he asked stupidly.

San poked a finger into Binnie’s chest, definitely not noticing how hard it was. “You said that if there was a problem– if anything bad happened–to call you, day or night, and you would answer. Then you sent me to fucking voicemail.”

Binnie was shaking his head before San even finished. “I-No, that—”

San cut him off. “Deke could have died. Did you see what they did to his face? They were trying to interrogate him to get his keycard. Do you know what would have happened if they were successful? Deke would be dead and those psychos would have the key to our house. They could have killed him and you just…ignored me. What were you doing that was so fucking important you couldn’t answer the phone?”

“I was on a flight?” Binnie said, sounding apologetic. “I was bringing Ollie back. They make you turn off your phone, you know?”

“Oh…” San said, the wind temporarily knocked out of his sails, chest heaving, hating how heated he was getting. That…made sense. Wait, no it didn’t.  “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving? That you would be unreachable? You should have made alternate arrangements if you weren’t going to be there when I-we-we needed you. What if something even worse had happened. What if we were all slaughtered in our beds before you came back.”

San waited for Binnie to tell him he was overreacting, being dramatic, that he didn’t owe him any explanation for his absences.

“I’m sorry, San,” Binnie said, giving him the most infuriatingly sincere puppy eyes.

“Don’t call me that,” San snapped.

“I’m sorry, Lysander?” Binnie asked, contrite.

Oof. No. “Don’t call me that either.”

Binnie started to smile, then cleared his throat, forcing his features back into that same apologetic look, only this time when he spoke his voice was raspy, his pupils slightly blown, his scent intense. “What do you want me to call you then? Alpha?”

San’s breath caught, his dick twitching, his startled eyes looking anywhere but at Binnie. “What? No,” he all but shouted, wincing when his voice cracked. “I don’t want you to call me anything.”

Binnie floated closer, close enough for fragrance of cherries and arousal to flood San’s nose, close enough for San to fight the urge to stumble forward and bury his face in his scent. What would it be like to bury his face right there against his scent gland? He smelled so fucking good. San hated how much he itched to touch, to take, to run his hands over that broad chest. Would he call him alpha then too? His pants were too loose for these thoughts.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Maybe it was just his body reacting to his panic and anger, some kind of crossed wires in his brain.

“I have to call you something,” Binnie said softly, reaching out and taking San’s hand in his.

San’s chest ceased with a pain he likened to a heart attack, heart slamming wildly behind his ribs, leaving his mouth dry and his chest tight. Binnie’s skin was hot–impossibly hot–against San’s own. His palms were rough like he used his hands for more than his cushy desk job. When his thumb caressed over the delicate skin at San’s wrist, something shivered deliciously inside his core.

“Fine, you can call me San,” he finally said begrudgingly, like he was doing Binnie a favor by letting him use his name. Really he just needed to get away, to get the other alpha to stop touching him. He snatched his hand away, shaking it out like he’d  burned himself, turning his back on the other alpha so he couldn’t see the effect he had on him.

It was disrespectful to turn your back on another  alpha  in a formal setting. So much so, that in the past, it was resolved by fighting to the death. But San would rather Binnie think him rude and uncultured then think San had been…affected by the other man. Death was preferable.

“You’re right,” Binnie said, softly. “I should have made other arrangements. I should have given you an alternate number or waited until I knew Loch would be back in town. I wasn’t thinking.”

San deflated, rolling his eyes. Great. Now he was the asshole. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop being mean.  “You can’t just apologize and expect me to forget about this. Deke got hurt.”

He heard Binnie move closer, that smoke and cherry scent filling his nostrils, clouding his rational thought. He’d never been so physically impacted by another person’s smell.

“I’m not asking you to forget about it. I’m just asking you to forgive me,” Binnie said gently.

San wanted to scream. Why was he being so soft? So tolerant? Why was he letting San treat him like this? Why didn’t he fight back?

He jumped as Binnie’s hand pressed between his shoulder blades. “I haven’t had to worry about taking care of other people in a really long time.”

San jumped, spinning around, a snarl on his lips. “Do you think I needed you to take care of me?”

Binnie’s lips twitched, his expression unreadable. “If I thought you needed me to take care of you, I probably would have made alternate arrangements so someone could keep an eye out while I was gone, no?”

He thought he was so clever.

“You can’t just say you’re sorry and give me those puppy eyes and think I’ll just forgive you,” San countered, feeling like a wizard constantly having to counter Binnie’s repeated charm spells. Why was he so goddamn sincere?

“Then what can I do?” Binnie asked softly. “What do I do to get you to forgive me?”

Let me bend you over the mattress and fuck you till you cry?

Oh, my God. No. No. No. No.

He did not like him like that. He was just stressed, freaked out over Deke. His anger at Binnie was just morphing into something else, something more…feral, more basic. More primal.

Binnie’s brow hooked upwards, his nostrils flaring, this time he didn’t even try to hide the smirk that spread on his handsome face. “What are you thinking, alpha?” Binnie teased. “What’s got you so hot and bothered all of a sudden. Did you think of something I can do for you…or you can do to me?”

This was getting out of control. What was he doing? Why was San acting like a wronged lover? Why was he yelling at Binnie like he was his boyfriend and not a complete fucking stranger? Why was Binnie letting him treat him? Why did he seem to like it? Why did San like it too?

“You’re forgiven,” San muttered. “Let's just go out there with the others.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Binnie murmured. When San passed him, Binnie leaned in, lips right against his ear as he breathed, “Alpha.” San flushed as he  stumbled over nothing, quickly righting himself, straightening his spine, regal as a fucking King, refusing to look back to see if he followed.

Back in the living room, everyone was doing their best to pretend they weren’t eavesdropping on San’s completely over the top tongue-lashing. Ollie now sat on the couch opposite Deke, who still stared at him like the man was actually Harry Styles.

Seth sat between the two, back straight like he had a steel rod for a spine, staring  ahead. Seth had never seen him so quiet. He suspected it had to do with Saint, who hadn’t moved a muscle since San left. He stood, expressionless, staring at Seth like he would have to describe him to a police sketch artist later.

Then there was Fen who still gazed up at Loch with stars in his eyes, looking adorably worried. When San and Binnie lingered on the outskirts of the small living space, Loch said, “I think you all need to take Binnie up on his offer. I think it's safer if we’re all together. At least until this is over.”

“And what do we do about our jobs? Our lives? We need money to live. Our rent doesn’t pay itself,” San said, shaking his head. The idea of leaving his space, his home, sounded awful. He didn’t do well in new spaces.

“Like you said last time, I have more money than I could ever need,” Binnie said. “I’m happy to provide anything anyone needs. I already told Loch I’ll bankroll the operation.”

San’s mouth fell open. Fen’s too. He was going to bankroll a plan to take down the man who killed Fen’s brother?

“I’m not looking to be anyone’s sugar baby,” he heard himself snap.

Fen and Seth both jerked their heads towards him, eyes wide like he’d lost his mind. He felt like he was losing his mind. He was spiraling. He couldn’t stop word vomiting pure venom all over the place. He didn’t like having all these alphas in his home, in this small space. He didn’t like how out of control and helpless he’d felt when he couldn’t get a hold of Binnie.

“I do,” Deke said, raising his hand.

“What?” San muttered.

“I’ll be a sugar baby,” Deek clarified.

“Deke,” San admonished.

The others all smiled, but Deke just shrugged. “What? I have zero marketable skills other than my pretty face. If some hot alpha wants to pay my bills and let me live in his McMansion I’m not saying no. It’s either that or start an OnlyFans.”

San growled at Deke, who’s eyes went wide, mouth falling open. San snapped his lips shut, wanting to sink into the floor. Fen and Seth watched him, their expressions amused. But it was Binnie’s face that made San want to punch something. He looked positively delighted by San’s jealousy.

“I think it's the safest course of action,” Fen said, steering the conversation back to the situation at hand. “It’s not forever. Loch said the house is a fortress. We can just use the buddy system for work. Seth and I work together at the NSA. Nobody is going to make a play for us there. You and Deke are at the co-op together.We know not to get conned by any stupid stunt again.”

Seth nodded. “I’m with Fen. I don’t want to leave my space either, but I also don’t want to die. I also don’t want anyone beating on my pretty face,” he said, gesturing towards said face. “I don’t have alpha healing like some of you do.”

San shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He’d already lost the argument. But he couldn’t make himself say the words.

“There’s a carriage house…beside the pool. You could turn it into an art studio…you know, while you’re there,” Binnie said. “It has really good light in the afternoons.”

Seven sets of eyes swung between San and Binnie like they were in a tennis match. It’s not like he could refuse now. He sighed. “Yeah, fine. For a little while. This isn’t forever.”

“Of course, not,” Loch said.

Binnie said nothing, just watched San with a rawness that made him feel exposed. Like he could see through his clothes, through his skin, straight into his heart. Like he knew deep down San was fucking terrified.

“I think you guys should go pack and come with us tonight,” Binnie finally said, tearing his gaze from San. We’ll all feel better surrounded by a hundred thousand dollar security system. Just take what you’ll need for a week or so and then we’ll regroup and make arrangements to collect anything else you might need.”

San nodded, off-balance.

“I don’t own anything, so I’m ready to go,” Deke said, aggressively cheerful for someone who almost died a couple of hours prior.

“I got you,” Binnie said to the boy. “Just make a list of things you need and we’ll grab it all when we go on a supply run tomorrow.”

San’s heart twisted. The generous bastard. He stomped back to his room and slammed his door, desperate to put as much distance between them as he could manage. He grabbed his small carry-on from his closet floor then dropped down on his mattress and stared at the wall.

There was a soft knock and then Seth was there. He closed the door behind him and crossed the room, making himself at home on the floor in front of San. “What the hell was that?”

“What?” San muttered.

“You bitched out Binnie like a jealous housewife and when you came back you both smelled  like you were two seconds away from publicly mating in the living room.”

San flushed. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious!” Seth cried, then winced when San made big eyes at him. “I’m serious,” he repeated, quietly this time. “Are you two gonna be that couple that fights as foreplay and then fucks it out?”

“He didn’t fight me.”

“Huh?”

San sighed, miserable. “He didn’t even try to fight back. He just let me yell at him, then apologized and asked what he could do to make it up to me…then he called me alpha.”

Seth blinked at him, mouth falling open. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God,” he said louder the second time, before dropping into a conspiratorial whisper. “I told you. I told you he was a bottom, alpha. He totally wanted you to punish him. He wanted you to bend him ov–”

San slapped a palm over Seth’s mouth. “Stop talking or I’m going to kill you.”

Seth licked his palm. San dropped his hand with a disgusted look, wiping his palm on his pants.

Seth cackled, then simpered, “Yes, alpha.”

“You’re such a little shit,” San said, digging his toes into Seth’s belly, wiggling them until the omega was squealing. “Stop. Stop. Stop.”

San acquiesced, allowing him to sit back up, watching as he sucked in air. “What about you?”

Seth frowned. “What about me?”

“Are you going to be okay living under the same room as your new stalker?” San asked quietly.

Seth flushed, the color creeping higher until the tips of his ears were an angry red. “He’s harmless,” Seth said, sounding like he didn’t mean a word of it.

San scoffed. “Harmless? He stared at you like he wanted to make lampshades out of your skin.”

Seth nodded, then looked almost wistful as he said, “He’s really hot, though, right?”

San blinked at him. “You’re ridiculous. It’s amazing someone hasn’t lured you into a white van by now.”

Seth rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about Saint. He’s so far out of my league I’d need a telescope to see him.”

San used his foot to push him over. “Don’t talk about my friend that way. He clearly liked what he saw. He couldn’t stop staring.”

Seth sighed, clearly flustered. “Whatever. Worry about your own self. And your own alpha.”

“I’m my own alpha,” San said stubbornly.

“And you think I’m ridiculous?” Seth shot back. After a moment of tense silence, Seth rocketed back up into a sitting position. “Okay, but what about Fen and Loch? Is it just me or is Fen like already planning a June wedding? The way he looks at him? It’s…something.”

“Loch seems equally smitten,” San noted. “But the real question is, what are we going to do about Deke and Harry Styles in there?”

“Aw, I thought it was cute. Besides, Ollie’s a beta so when Deke finally presents there wouldn’t be any awkward guess we’re not compatible talks.”

“That’s hardly the point. He’s like eight years older than Deke.”

“Which would matter if Deke was sixteen.” Seth pointed out. “But he’s not, even if the world treats him like one,” Seth pointed out.

San knew that. He did. But Deke was his responsibility and it just seemed like everyone’s hormones were driving their decision making right now. The idea of putting all of them under the same roof seemed like a recipe for disaster. “I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

Seth scoffed. “Did you see that guy? Ollie is literally the living embodiment of a golden retriever, just like Deke said.”

“I know but should we talk to Deke about…you know…”

Sex with someone who hadn’t presented was a very sensitive topic. It wasn’t illegal as long as the person was over eighteen, but it was…looked down on. Had Deke had sex yet? Did they need to talk to him about…

“Being a responsible ‘pet owner’?” Seth air-quoted, then cracked up once more.

“Oh, forget it. Go pack so we can get this circus on the road.”