Kozy Kills #3 - Asa & Zane - Patreon exclusive Ch. 1 (Patreon)

This is the Patreon exclusive chapter for Kozy Kills and will only be available here on Patreon and is core-four heavy. It is unbeta'd/unedi

This is the Patreon exclusive chapter for Kozy Kills and will only be available here on Patreon and is core-four heavy. It is unbeta'd/unedited yada yada yada. Asa and Zane's primal play session will be here on Patreon tomorrow and also in the newsletter that goes out tomorrow. For now, enjoy this slice-of-life, platonic core-fore family scene. Felix“I hate her,” Zane crooned in a baby voice. “I hate her so much that sometimes, late at night, I just imagine her getting hit by different size vehicles and the carnage it would inflict on her surprisingly sturdy body.” Oscar giggled, which caused Zane to also giggle. “Yes. Yes, I do. I really, really do. And you will never, ever, ever call that horrid, wretched hag Nana. Not ever.”He sat in the center of the spacious room on the plush brown and white carpet, Oscar still wearing his Stitch onesie from their mall outing an hour earlier. As Felix watched, their son grabbed Zane’s cheeks in his tiny hands, then used them to propel himself forward to latch onto his nose, nursing there momentarily, until he realized it was not, in fact, a nipple.His little face became a storm cloud, looking so much like Jericho Felix had to laugh. Oscar slapped Zane’s cheeks, then yanked off his glasses, knocking them to the floor with an indignant squawk, before wiggling to be set free. Zane laughed, then released Oscar back into the wilds of the nursery floor, plucking his glasses from the carpet a moment before West managed to snag them.They’d been in there since they’d returned from their trip, letting the boys expel all their energy before their afternoon nap. They’d had a great afternoon, wandering the mall, shopping in relative anonymity, until some teen girl had shoved her iPhone in Zane’s face and asked what he thought of his mom’s allegations against them.Zane had paled almost immediately, which had only made the teen girl bolder. Felix had rolled his eyes. “Boy, everyone thinks there a journalist nowadays, huh?”She’d ignored him, focusing on Zane, clearly the weaker link between the two of them.She’d started firing questions at him.Are the four of you really a polycule?Is it weird having sex with identical twins?Do you two ever ‘accidentally’ mix up husbands?Are those bruises really consensual or are you a victim in all this?Do you feel guilty reporting on crimes knowing your own husband batters you?Has CPS contacted you about the babies?Who’s their real mother?Who’s the sperm donor?Finally, Felix had stepped between the two of them, putting his face directly into the girl’s camera. “If you don’t walk away right now, the only appropriate headline for what’s about to happen is, Luxury mall Closed as Emergency Services Searches for Teen Girl’s Eyes after Violent Altercation. Your choice.”The girl stumbled back a few feet but didn’t lower her camera until Felix grinned.“Oh, and if even a second of this footage ends up online, I will make sure that my father-in-law keeps you tied up in court until they have to wheel you into the courtroom from the nursing home.”She gasped like Felix had slapped her. “What the fuck? I should put this online and show everyone that Beverly Scott is right about you all.”“Excuse me,” Zane managed, sending a panicked look to Felix.The girl pushed a couple of buttons on her phone then shoved the screen into their faces, her smug look triumphant. Sure enough, there was Zane’s mother, sitting on her ugly couch, clutching a picture of the twins—Felix and Avi’s twins—in her hands, looking fragile and more than a bit insane.“What is that?” Zane had mumbled, raising his hand to snatch the phone before Felix grabbed it and lowered it back to his side.“The latest article about what sick fucks you all are. I’m starting to believe it,” she shot, sneering at the two of them.“I will not be judged by someone wearing denim-on-denim and fucking ugly shoes,” Felix said. “Stop being such a pick me and get a life before you piss off the wrong people.”They’d left after that. Well, they’d stopped to get Zane a conciliatory pretzel from Auntie Anne’s and then they’d left. Zane had spent the entire car ride home reading his mother’s latest lies. “Why does Beach keep printing this stuff? I swear she hates me.”“She doesn’t hate you, boo. She just loves money and your crazy, bitch mother is practically a printing press.”And now they were there, on the nursery floor, Felix lying on his back, Zane sat beside him, pretending to be unbothered as he threatened bodily harm to his mother. Felix didn’t know how to sooth him. He needed Asa and Avi to get home already. It had been an hour since he’d texted the SOS and demanded his husband go retrieve Asa from his meeting. Until they arrived, Felix was on his own.Just as he went to speak, West crawled over his face, settling in, enveloping Felix in soft blue fur and the intoxicating scent of baby powder and hypoallergenic fabric softener.“Wuhcouldpobmkahppn,” he told Zane, his muffled words reverberating through West’s tummy and making him laugh.“What was that?” Zane asked.Felix gently flipped the baby onto his back, watching fondly as he quickly rolled to his stomach and crawled off to find his brother. Felix dragged himself to a sitting position just in time for Zane to plop his head into Felix’s lap, gazing up at him forlorn. Felix carded his fingers through Zane’s curls, then ran a finger over each eyebrow, soothingly. “I said we can probably make that happen. By now, she must have pissed Thomas off enough to at least consider ending her.”Zane sighed, his expression pinched. “I just cannot believe her. Every time I think she’s finally crawled back under her rock, there she is…again, on her rock, sunning herself…like a lizard.”“Ironic,” Felix teased. “At least her stories become less and less believable each time she runs to the press. Pretty soon even Beach won’t give her the time of day. You know?” Felix said, rubbing the little wrinkles forming between Zane’s eyes. “Stop frowning or I’m gonna start making you go to my Botox appointments with me.”Zane rolled his eyes. “You’re not even twenty-five. Why do you even get Botox?”Felix rolled his eyes. “So I can keep convincing people I’m not even twenty-five even when I’m forty-five.”Zane sighed, then snagged Felix’s hand, playing with his fingers as he gazed up at him. “Please, your mom’s skin is flawless, even now. Your going to look like a fetus until you’re ninety. My mom looks like a raisin. I need to start bathing in moisturizer or I’m going to look like a leather handbag by the time I’m forty.”Felix’s chest tightened at the mention of his mother. Mei had beautiful skin. That’s what Felix called her now. Mei. Her first name. It hurt less when she didn’t remember him. And she never remembered him.They’d decided as a family—Felix, Zane and the twins, as well as Jericho and Freckles—to start spending time with Mei, for her sake. In the past, Jericho and Felix’s presence had only agitated her, causing violent outbursts. So they’d stopped visiting long ago, not wanting to cause her any distress. It wasn’t her fault. Her brain injury had never healed properly. Then she’d developed early onset dementia as a side effect of the attack. It had seemed pretty hopeless.But a few months ago, the doctors had tried a new medication, one that helped soothe her agitation. She no longer flew into rages. She still had no idea who they were, but instead of crying and screaming at the sight of her own children, she would just smile politely and chat with them like strangers.The first three visits, Felix had collapsed into Avi’s arms, sobbing the moment they got to the car. Calling his own mother by her first name was jarring, but Avi and Zane had reminded him that she seemed genuinely fond of him, often said he reminded her of her own son. When Jericho had said he was going to bring Jett and Jagger to meet her, Felix was genuinely terrified, but Jericho came home to say they’d loved her and she’d loved them, sitting on the floor and coloring with them for hours.When Felix brought the babies for the first time, he was sure he didn’t breathe for the entire visit. But Mei had instantly fallen in love with Oscar and West. She’d sat in her recliner with a baby in each arm singing and cooing, then watching them play in their playpen while Felix and Zane helped her do a puzzle, something the doctors said helped with her cognition.He was happy to have at least some small shred of Mei back. But it wasn’t the same. That was the hardest part for Felix. He didn’t even have anyone he could be mad at. Her attackers were dead.And Mei had a nice life, upon seeing Mei’s care facility—paid for by Jericho and the victim’s fund—Atticus had immediately had her moved to a luxury care home where her accommodations looked far more like an apartment and less like a hospital room. Felix would forever be grateful to his brother-in-law for that. Even though he knew Avi would have done the same for him.“You with me?” Zane asked.“Yeah, sorry.”“Is it your mom?” Zane asked, squeezing his hand.Felix shrugged, then shook his head. “Hey, no this isn’t about me. This is about Bev and her crazy. I wasn’t trying to hijack your rant. You be in your feels, I’ll just assist.”Zane sighed. ”No, I get it. If I could force Bev to switch places with Mei, I would. Your mom is so sweet and kind. And she loves the boys. And you.”Felix scoffed. “She doesn’t even know me.”“She always says you remind her of her son. And she treats you like you’re her son.”Felix gave a sad smile. “No, she treats me like someone who reminds her of her son. My mom was not the woman you met in there. My mom was a ball buster. She was a perfectionist. She rode us about everything. Well, Mercy and Jericho more than me. They used to tease me because mom babied me compared to them, but she was still a little tough on me. The lady we visit once a week isn’t my mom. Not really.”Zane scrambled upwards then crawled around until he was behind Felix, trapping him in a back hug then wrapping his legs around his waist for good measure. “You’re being super grown up about it, though.”Felix gave a wet laugh, feeling tears threaten. “I don’t know why this is bothering me so much all of a sudden.”“Cause I brought up my mom,” Zane said, hooking his chin over Felix’s shoulder. “She ruins everything. Even our day.”The nursery door swung open, snagging both their attention. Avi and Asa poured in, making sure to shut the door so the boy’s couldn’t make a run for it. Felix loved the country house, but he lived in constant terror of the marble staircase. He couldn’t stop imagining someone leaving the door open and the boys finding their way to the stairs and tumbling down.Since becoming a parent, his intrusive thoughts were on a whole other level. For the first month of their life, he wouldn’t let anyone but him or Zane walk down the stairs holding them for fear they’d get distracted and trip or drop one of them. Avi had put him in therapy after that. He was better now. Kind of.Felix smiled as the twins bypassed them, picking up each of the boys and smacking kisses onto their heads. The boys were unimpressed, squealing with righteous indignation until they were released to roam free once more. Only then did Asa and Avi settle onto the floor with them, giving each of them a chaste kiss.“Why are we all congregated in the nursery?” Avi asked, grabbing Felix’s bare foot and kneading it in a way that made him want to purr.“Well, now that our children are free-range, this is the only safe place in the house until we finish the playroom downstairs,” Felix reminded him.“Well, who’s idea was it to teach them to crawl?” Avi teased. “They were so much easier to manage when they were potatoes.”“Hey,” Zane snapped. “Do not refer to our children as potatoes.”“What? Why?” Avi asked, frowning. “Potatoes are great. Everyone loves potatoes.”“Our children are not potatoes,” Felix admonished with mock indignancy.“Sure they are. They’re sweet potatoes,” Asa joked.Felix rolled his eyes. “They’re not any type of vegetable.”“Hey why can you call them free-range but we can’t call them potatoes?” Avi asked with a laugh, dropping Felix’s foot, before snagging West as he crawled past, eyes set on a bit of lint on the carpet. “It’s okay to imply they’re chicken, but not vegetables?”The baby gave Avi another lecture in a language only he understood then grabbed two fistfuls of his father’s hair. Avi laughed, smoothing a hair over West’s textured curls.“Does that make them chicken nuggets?” Asa asked around a laugh.“Avi Mulvaney if you refer to our children as any type of food again, I’m going to bite you,” Felix warned.Avi turned Oscar towards Felix, setting the baby on his feet and holding his hands in a boxer’s stance. “Bring it on? I have backup. He might not look like much, but his diapers have been known to clear a room.”Felix arched a brow at his husband, then reached for Oscar. Avi gripped the baby by the waist. “Now’s your chance. Attack!”Felix plucked his baby from his grip. Oscar took the opportunity to grab two fists full of Felix’s long dark hair, using it to pull himself closer so he could latch his mouth to Felix’s cheek. These boy’s were always hungry. Or maybe they used drooling as a defense mechanism.“Look at him, he’s vicious,” Avi said proudly. “None of this fair fight stuff. Went straight to the hair pulling and biting…just like his uncle.”Asa snickered. “He’s definitely a Mulvaney.”“He’s giving me a kiss,” Felix said, glowering at the two of them. “Stop trying to make my children bloodthirsty. We know about the Mulvaney baby fight club that happens in the nurseries. We all have access to the nanny cams. Monsters.”Avi snorted. “A. Jericho helped form toddler fight club so yell at him. And 2. They’re Mulvaney’s, they’re going to be bloodthirsty. Hell, their mother has a collection of razor sharp cat claws beside his designer handbags. Planning on giving up the violence, kitten?”Felix squeezed the baby and then set him free, ignoring Avi’s annoyingly accurate statements to deflect to the current emergency at hand. “Speaking of mother’s…”Avi frowned. “Is Mei okay?”Felix’s eyes went wide. “Yeah, why?”“You just looked sad when I came in,” Avi observed, taking Felix’s other foot into his hand and rubbing.Felix had no idea how he’d lucked into a man like Avi Mulvaney. The world’s cuddliest golden retriever with a sadistic streak ten miles wide. He was perfect.Zane hugged Felix extra tight, kissing the side of his neck, before abandoning him for his husband’s lap. “It’s not our nice mom that’s the problem…”Avi and Asa exchanged knowing glances.“What did Bev do now.” Asa asked, arms encircling Zane instinctively.“Hold onto your butts cause Bev has gone full tin-hatter nuts with this one,” Felix mused.Asa took a deep breath and let it out slowly, burying his face in Zane’s neck for a moment or two. “Fuck.”Avi leaned in. “Well, what did she say this time?”“That we’re perverts,” Zane muttered.Asa grinned. “Well, she’s not wrong.”Zane twisted to fix his husband with a baleful look. “That we’re all perverts—” He gestured to the four of them— “‘Together.’” he air-quoted.“Again, she’s not wrong,” Avi said, frowning. “Who cares?”“She said our lifestyle was a threat to her grandchildren,” Zane said, voice trembling. “That she had contacted child protective services to investigate us and our deviant lifestyle.”“These are not her grandchildren,” Asa said, all humor stripped from his voice in an instant.“That’s too fucking far,” Avi said, scooping up Oscar and hugging him close,before setting him free.“I know,” Zane cried, tears springing to his eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry she keeps making problems for you guys. Every time I think she’s gone, she just…comes back. I get if you’re mad—”“Of course, we’re mad, Lois,” Asa said, squeezing him. At Zane’s startled look, Asa clarified, “At her. Not you. Her. This has nothing to do with you.”“It has everything to do with me,” Zane cried. “She’s my mother. She’s using you—” He gestured to the babies— “and them, to try to destroy me. She’s using our kids.”Felix’s heart hurt for his friend, his…sibling spouse or whatever non-gendered poly term existed to describe his love for Zane. He hadn’t realized he was internalizing so much of this. But he should have. Of course, he should have.“Stop,” Asa said, covering Zane’s mouth with his own. “This isn’t on you.”Zane shouldered the world’s burdens like he was Atlas. He thought everything was his fault all the time. He always behaved like he was the outlier in their home, like he was lucky to be there. Felix was sure Zane spent most days waiting to be told things weren’t working out with them and that he’d need to go. And Felix blamed that giant sucking void of insecurity on that miserable cow who’d raised him.“Asa’s right,” Avi said. “If Beverly is the price we pay to have you, then we’ll pay it, a hundred times over. It’s all good, Zaney.”Felix closed his eyes and envisioned taking Avi’s nail embedded bat and swinging for the fences, the ball being Beverly’s face. Maybe Avi was right. Maybe the twins didn’t stand a chance of being docile with him as their mother. Because Felix had envisioned a million ways to kill that woman, and most of them included torture. But that is why Zane was the most important part of their family. He was the heart.He was the one who would teach these boys empathy. He was the one who would show them you could be smart and kind and funny and sweet. That it was okay to cry and express emotions. Felix wished he could pull his own heart out and show it to Zane. He wished there was a way to quantify for Zane just how much of Felix’s heart belonged to him alone. He’d thought raising children together might be enough, but Zane still acted like Felix thought he was their nanny, not an equal parent.“It’s not as dire as Zane’s making it out to be,” Felix finally assured them. “He failed to mention the other gems in her diatribe about our ‘perverse lifestyle’.”Avi grinned. “Such as?”Felix grinned. “Hmm, let’s see. In no specific order, we have: Dad is a lizard billionaire alien running a secret cabal made up of—you guessed it—other lizard billionaire aliens who are secretly controlling the government.”“Hey, I saw that on the History Channel,” Asa said around a laugh.“Dad is in the illuminati?” Avi crowed.“I would be so pissed to find out Dad was part of the lizard elite, and we didn’t even get some kind of invitation to the table,” Asa added.“Oh, I’m not done,” Felix assured them, chest lightening as the boys made jokes, watching some of the tension drain from Zane’s face. “Did you know that Thomas killed Noah and replaced him with a deep fake who has Thomas’s cloned brain transplanted into his body via microchip so that Dad doesn’t truly have to give up running the company.”Avi cackled loud enough to startle West and Oscar momentarily, falling onto his back. “Please tell me you put all this in the group chat for the murder muppets.”“Not yet. But I will,” Felix promised. “When Zaney’s feeling better.”“Is that all?” Asa asked, hugging Zane tighter.“Oh, no, not by a long shot. Adam allowed his father to off his beloved husband because he’s a junkie. His drug of choice is the blood of orphaned children, supplied by a company deep in the heart of silicone valley. Another of Thomas’s investments.”Asa and Avi exchanged blank looks before Asa said, “What?”“Yeah and Archer isn’t, in fact, a reformed sinner, but a deep cover black ops agent that Thomas uses to assassinate his enemies. And his husband Mac isn’t an identical twin but a clone of Jayne Shepherd, a lab created super-soldier.”“Jesus,” Asa muttered. “Is she off her fucking meds or something? Maybe it’s time to send someone to check on her. She seems to have really tumbled down a rabbit hole since your dad bailed.”“Did she manage to throw in anything about the earth being flat?” Avi asked.Zane made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t funny. Aren’t you at all worried someone might take her seriously? Do I need to remind you that Archer isn’t , in fact, a reformed sinner, but a deep cover black ops agent who is teaching psychopaths how to get away with murder?” Zane asked, voice bordering on hysteria. “And we are in a poly relationship raising two kids.”“How we choose to raise our kids is nobody’s business,” Felix said. “And polyamory isn’t illegal.”Asa nodded. “Your mother is a loon and everything she says proves it. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Lois. She’s just throwing shit at the wall and hoping something sticks. Everything else she said is bullshit.”“I don’t know,” Avi said. “If there was anyone in our family willing to drink the blood of unhoused orphans to stay young, it would be Adam.”“Noah would never allow that,” Felix admonished.“Noah would never let him drink animal blood, but kids…” Asa said with a shrug and a smile.“Noah’s dead, remember? Adam is married to a clone…of dad,” Avi teased.Asa snorted. “I really wish people would start dating outside the family.”Tears trailed down Zane’s cheeks. Felix scooted closer, leaning his head on Asa’s shoulder so he could get closer to Zane, wiping the wetness from his face. “Come on, baby. Don’t let her get to you.”“Kitten’s right. We can’t let the terrorist win, Zaney. She’s a lunatic.”Felix nodded. “The world knows this. Even if she wasn’t, even if…somehow…the world believed her and child protective services scooped up Oscar and West do you think she’d gain custody? Hell, dad would keep her tied up in court until the twins were in college. You know this. You’re just stressed out. Maybe you need some play time…outside?”Felix looked at Asa who nodded. “Would that help, Lois?”Zane hesitated, eyes going soft as he looked at the twins. “It’s our night with the babies.”“That’s not what we asked,” Avi said.“It’s fine. They’re sleeping through the night anyway,” Felix assured him. “Go play.”Avi crawled to where Zane was sprawled across Asa’s lap, smacking a kiss on his lips. “We’re all good, Zaney. Seriously.”Felix got that feeling again, that feeling like his heart was too big for his chest. He was so lucky. He had literally everything he ever wanted. His life was perfect. He reminded himself of that every day, through every minor annoyance. He was living a life others only dreamed of. And Zane was a vital part of that.“This is what matters, Lois,” Asa told him.The four of them watched as Oscar grabbed West’s t-shirt to pull himself up onto his knees, his big brown eyes going wide as West tumbled down under the unexpected weight of him. They rolled on the floor together, Oscar’s tiny fingers tugging on West’s bottom lip and West squeezing Oscar’s plush baby cheek.Zane laughed at their antics.“Asa’s right,” Felix said. “This is the only thing that matters. Fuck Beverly. The louder she gets—the more crazy she acts—the more the world sees why you’ve cut her out of your life.”Avi nodded. “She’s only this loud because she can’t get your attention any other way. Take it as a compliment.” Zane gave Avi a look. “I’m serious,” he cried.“Yeah, she’s spiraling. Stewing in her own misery and loneliness,” Asa said.Felix squeezed his hand. “Don’t let her ruin your victory. Look at it this way…every single time she runs to those tabloids, she’s telling on herself. You get to see just how much she’s suffering. That’s a win. You’re winning, baby.”“I guess,” Zane finally said, deflating against Asa.“If you guys are going to go play tonight, you might want to eat something and take a nap,” Avi said, forever practical. “Felix and I can put the boys down for their nap.”Asa looked at Zane. “What do you say, Lois? Wanna play with me tonight?”Zane took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I need it.”“Anything for you, Lois. Always.”