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SI2: Pleasure Land p. 07 (Patreon)

Published:
2020-02-04 08:00:00
Edited:
2023-08-28 21:40:23
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Comments

InkstainedFox

Lita's dialogue in panel 1 should read as "Every kink or fetish possible is available with little fuss, if you're interested." What you have is a little stilted in English.

InkstainedFox

The blonde in panel 3 should ask "What if I need to change clothes?" Instead.

Joshua James

The word "my" is acceptable there

Dalton Remy

I always look forward to Tuesday now because I get to wake up to a new page of SI. 😋

Daniel

Change: "...except for a special parties at night." To: "...except at night for special parties we have here." or "...except for the special parties we have here at night." You can also specify the time the party(ies) and if they occur on a nightly basis ie: "...except during our nightly party." or "...except during our 9pm party." There's a wide range to use, especially what kind of sentence structure/syntax you want or your editor wants to use.

Randomuser2018

I think also you mean exposed rather disclosed. “But we are completely exposed!”

Dalton Remy

I like how Lita's gown is just slowly coming off. Lol