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I Don't Forgive You (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-10 17:28:15
Imported:
2026-11
Tags:

Content

Pull it out

Stick it back

Plea and pout

Laugh and crack


For if I'm to outlive you

I can not just forgive you


Do the time

Learn our work

Cease the crime

Sheathe your dirk


For though we will outlive you

We can not just forgive you

Files

Comments

J

CONTENT WARNING: violence, harm, graphic details HEAR ME! This is the written description for this work/poem. I'm writing it here in the comments rather than crowding the post. One of my therapist's suggestions was for me to make art about being misgendered. I felt that was an excellent idea. It's been a serious problem for a long time, and a deadly threat for many Trans youngsters. Normally I don't include violence of any kind within pieces on gender (there's enough to go around) but here I have to be really raw. It hurts when I'm misgendered, every time. And it hurts worse when the source of my misgendering is a person or institution that I'm told/expecting to trust with my care. When I awoke in the recovery room at Strong Hospital, I started to count the number of times I got misgendered, but lost track after 50. I didn't correct them. I was in a really vulnerable place. I could hardly speak at all. In the coming days I formulated a strategy that would help. Next time I'm to remove all my clothes, belongings, jewelry, and wear nothing but a hospital gown, I'll bring a sharpy and masking tape. I will label myself with my pronouns, and dare anyone to strip me of them. It's a risk. I couldn't help but wonder if I was mistreated while I was unconscious. They didn't shave me for the operation so much as grind my hair off. I came to with cuts and burns on my privates, not anywhere near the incision site. Were it not for the written back-and-fourth between myself and Urology I wouldn't bother entertaining such paranoia. But as it stands, I have no idea, and evidence of Trans people being abused within hospitals (intentionally or not) is thicker than blood.

Revel Bikil and Alixe

I feel this so deeply. Besides being trans, I work with trans youth and this is so real. I'm sorry you had such awful experiences, and glad that it's over at least. Sending you a big giant pile of healing, energy for healing, and correct gendering to help! <3

J

Thank you for that. I feel felt, and I can feel the healing vibes too! <3 I think that's the major misconception that—at worst—it's a petty annoyance or accidental rudeness rather than a health risk. I went in expecting to be treated exactly how I was treated, and though they are done with me, I am not done with them <3 <3 Unfortunately, hospitals are the least of my concern. Mid Weight Jobbers. The Heavyweights are very close.