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A (UNCENSORED) Rock Protest (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-08 18:28:38
Edited:
2022-11-08 18:28:39
Imported:
2026-11

Content

That's right folx!


The final cartoon is censored, and it'll be censored in the book too!  The reason being it makes me look even battier.

Actual Wizard rant in the comments!

Files

Comments

J

FIRST OF ALL a rock isn't an OBJECT. It was there before you got here and it might very well be there long after you're gone. A ROCK is EARTH and you're telling me that it'd look better with a coat of paint on it? A leeching flaking chemical pigment slathered on with thirty second's care and tossed back to the ground as if to say THERE THAT'S BETTER MUCH IMPROVED. Have you spoken to the rocks??? Have you listened??? When did you ever hear a rock request a quick shellacking??? What's wrong with paper? What's wrong with your finger nails? What's wrong with canvas and wood or model kits or boxes and trinkets from craft stores that you're SUPPOSED to paint and forget about—I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I FOUND—it wasn't just a PAINTED ROCK they added HASHTAGS in sharpie and a stick-on QR code so that you could FOLLOW the crag daubers on SOCIAL MEDIA OF ALL THINGS. ONE ROCK COVERED IN SHARPIE HAD FOSSILS IN IT. FOSSILS I'M NOT KIDDING. Oh! How quaint! A fossil over several hundred million years old I KNOW WHAT I SHUD DO I SHOULD LET FOLX GET TO M'GRAMS!!!!! I would rather you EAT the fucking things than put another sloppy, boring, senseless brushing! YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN I FIND A PAINTED ROCK??? DO YOU KNOW??? I pick it up, take it home, bathe it in earth friendly solvents, wash it, dry it, AND RELEASE IT BACK. THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVE DESTROYED EVERY PAINTED ROCK LEFT IN MY WOODS AND I WON'T EVER STOP SO HELP ME MAC DEMARCO

J

It’s a peculiar cross to bear, hill to die on etc...