Chapter 327 - Entrance Exams II (Patreon)

AN: It's my birthday today! SUPRISE BONUS CHAPTER FOR EVERYONE!!

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I slowly, carefully peeled the mango.

“Brrrpt?” Auri hovered near my hand, staring longingly at the fruit.

“Of course.” I carved off a piece, giving it to her.

One small bite at a time, carefully licking my knife to prevent even a single drop from being wasted, I ate the mango, constantly shooting grateful looks at Iona. My mouth was too full to tell her, but she seemed pleased with herself, an amused smile playing over her face whenever she saw the looks I was making as I ate the divine fruit.

Each small square I carefully savored, letting the sugary flavors explode over my tongue, dance through my mouth. It was like I was transported to heaven, like a thousand tiny people were massaging every inch of me, inside and out. I didn’t have the words.

After all the time that had passed. After all the changes in the world. Mangos were still as blessedly good as before - if not, somehow impossibly, better.

The world was cruel and unfair, my mango practically evaporating. There was no way I’d eaten that much! Help! A [Mango Dissolver] was out and about, cackling in the background as they destroyed my favorite fruit! I got to the last square, and hesitated.

“Want some?” I offered it to Iona, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

She hesitated a moment, and shook her head.

“I’m sure I’d enjoy it, but not nearly as much as you are.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Brrrpt?” Auri wanted the last bite, and I gave it to her without a second thought.

We continued shuffling through the line, and I got to spot a few more things. The first was a second market, reversed from the first one. Instead of people from the School selling things, members of the School were wandering around, bartering and haggling with keen eyed merchants selling their high-end wares. Clear shields and thick glass protected various expensive-looking goods, although some people just had a simple table and a banner or logo behind them. They were also attracting attention from some members of the School, although I couldn’t figure out why.

A second area was more familiar, a dueling grounds of some sort where people were sparring, magic shooting all over the place. I watched one of the duels with professional interest.

Two students were wearing a more practical outfit for sparring, but they were both still in black colors. A human versus an orc.

The duel started, and the orc immediately went with the Artemis Special, stomping his foot and letting a spray of high-speed rocks pepper the human. The human didn’t take that lying down, flinging out a small piece of white paper that had bright red lines painted on it, reminding me of the elven talismans. It snapped to a position in front of him, then disintegrated into a dozen jets of water, each one intercepting a pebble.

The orc smirked, and the barrage of pseudo-bullets continued. The human frantically threw out one talisman after another, each one countering the rocks in a different way. After the water he summoned a wall of ice, then started to place multiple talismans together for some big skill or spell. However, with only two talismans in place, he needed to jump out of the way and blow three different talismans as the orc’s relentless assault broke through the ice wall, threatening to have it tip over onto him. One talisman had all the rocks drop to the ground, and another one gave him a leafy shield.

His shield wasn’t good enough, the rocks ripping straight through it and hitting him. I flinched, starting to run towards the inevitable bloodbath, screams, and broken bones, but instead, a powerful gong noise echoed out as he flared with bright light.

Obviously there were protections in place here. Much better protections than anything I was able to use when practicing once upon a time in Remus. I could only imagine how effective our sparring could’ve been if we could truly go no holds barred, with complete faith that no harm could come to us.

“Not a great showing.” Iona said.

I nodded.

“The versatility was impressive, but his decision making was poor.” I analyzed. “He stood still. He ceded the initiative by simply reacting and trying to counter the attacks against him, instead of forcing the orc to react to what he was doing.”

“He tried with the ice wall, but he didn’t think it through.” Iona agreed. “It was so poorly done that it ended up getting turned against him.”

“Brrpt BRPT!”

“Not using Fire or Inferno attacks was a grave error. If he’d only realized the glory of Fire sooner, victory would’ve been his.” I locked eyes with Iona as I agreed with Auri with an entirely straight face. After a moment, the two of us cracked nearly identical grins at the little phoenix's antics and snobbish analysis.

The fights were fun to watch, if a little on the low-powered side. Then again, I’d been somewhat spoiled, training with Sentinels and senior Rangers for the last few years. The levels and skills I was seeing were probably normalish, if not maybe good, for the age group I was in and looking at.

Iona and I had fun chatting about them, having some form of entertainment as the line slowly but steadily inched forwards.

Finally, we reached the front of the line, the sun low on the horizon.

“Please tell me they’re still open, and we haven’t gotten here right as they close.” I asked in a panic.

Iona quickly asked the bouncer managing the line that question.

“Nope! They operate on island time - whatever that means - and to them, they’re actually getting close to their ‘morning’. Hopefully things will move faster now?”

“Right as we’re at the front.” I complained.

“Could be worse.”

We were let inside, and I immediately realized my problem.

Communication and languages.

The initial room had a number of scribes waiting at various booth-like tables, and Iona peeled off to an open one. I tentatively approached the other open one, the remaining six already occupied with people doing some form of registration, signing up, or something.

The scribe politely - I assumed that was the tone - asked me something.

“Hakka?” I asked tentatively.

“Yes. Now, can you…” She asked me, and I completely lost the rest of it.

“Sorry. Ask again. Slowly?”

She gave me a look of disgust.

“Language?” She asked me in Hakka.

“Creation. English. Doubt you speak either of those.” I shot back in a mix of the two languages.

She frowned at me, and we did a poor back and forth for some time before Iona, of all people, slid next to me. She quickly chatted with the scribe, then her face fell.

“They’re not ok with me acting as a translator. Too easy for abuse.” She complained at me.

“Well, did you explain?”

“I did! Wait. Shoot. Not all of it. Hang on…” Iona started talking rapid-fire with the [Scribe] again. After a few minutes of intense back and forth, the scribe got up and walked away.

“Ok! I think I got the message through. She thinks there’s somebody here that might speak Creation.”

“No. Really!?” I barely refrained from grabbing Iona’s tunic.

“Yes really.”

A penny dropped.

“How come you’re not being examined? Aren’t there entrance exams?”

Iona puffed out her generous chest.

“I got invited to attend the School, and on a full scholarship to boot.”

“Oh wow! That’s super cool! How’d you manage that?”

Iona deflated a bit.

“My blessing.” She sheepishly admitted. “The linguistics department wants me to help them translate things.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Well, ancient ruins and the like. A civilization grows, flourishes, an Immortal war comes around and wipes them out, ruins get buried, rediscovered, and poof! Tons of texts that nobody speaks anymore suddenly need translating.”

That had me wondering how on Pallos anyone still spoke Creation, but my question was practically answered thirty minutes of chatting with Iona later. We were slightly responsible for the line going slowly… but at least there were multiple registration spots.

The scribe returned with a characteristically pale fellow in tow, wearing green robes. That was a new color.

“A vampire!” I happily exclaimed.

“A human! I’ve never seen one before.” He sarcastically mocked back. In Creation. Sure, his accent was heavy and weird, like his mouth was full of cotton, and the cadence was totally off, but the words were similar enough that we understood each other.

“You have no idea how happy I am to meet someone that can speak Creation!” I happily told him, only to feel Iona step on my foot.

Gently, but with enough weight that I’d feel it.

“You speak every language, you don’t count.” I sassed at her.

“Creation? This is the Vampire’s Tongue. Dragon’s blood, how do you speak the language?”

A shiver went down my spine at the forbidden word being so casually thrown around, and by a vampire none the less. Maybe it was less banned now, but I was going to be careful.

“Vampire’s Tongue? It was called Creation where I came from, because, you know, it was the language the gods stuffed into everyone’s head when the world was made. Do you know Night? Is he still alive? Can I get a message to him? Can-?”

“I have no idea who that is.” Sarcastic-face interrupted, completely bulldozing over me. “Anyway, my role here is not to answer your petty questions, it is to translate. As much as I find it hard to believe that the Vampire’s Tongue is your primary language, and you are not simply pulling an elaborate prank, I will assist and play along. Although, such a prank requires me to dig into how you acquired the language, which is a conversation we will have another day. Now. Name, age, classes, levels, stats, and what are you applying to the School for?”

I looked around. Saw a number of mortals applying for the School. Saw the number of people from the School. Remembered that nobody else could understand me, and revealing my levels wouldn’t be a problem, especially to another Immortal.

“Elaine, 22, healer-mage, 513-357-8, 1,000 Strength, 1,800 Dexterity, 14,000 Vitality, 14,000 Speed, 58,000 Mana, 58,000 Mana Regen with a bonus 52,000 from a skill, 23,000 Magic Power with another 585,000 from a skill, and the same Magic Control, medicine. Or healing. Whatever the School teaches.” I rattled off.

“I asked for your name, not your class twice.” Snarky sniffed at me. “And you’ve gotten your numbers incorrect.”

Ugh. “Elaine” wasn’t even “Healer” in Creation! He was mixing his languages up! And I hadn’t gotten my numbers wrong!

“Yeah. By some screwy reason, my name’s Elaine. It was Elaine before the word meant ‘healer’, and believe me, it’s no fun. Also, I know my numbers. I didn’t misspeak.” I kept the ‘dumbass’ to myself.

“You’re 22. And claiming to pre-date the word ‘elaine’ meaning ‘healer’.” Sassy lifted an eyebrow, exactly the same way Night did!!!

My eyes lit up, but the scribe next to the vampire poked him with her quill. I was sure she did it in a way to utterly ruin his clothes with an inkstain, and by the look of distaste on jerk’s face, he knew he was in for some serious laundry. She barked a few sharp words at him, which turned into an entire lecture.

He turned to me with a long-suffering sigh, then the corners of his lips curled.

“You’re supposed to translate what we say and nothing else!” He mimed the scribe’s voice.

Ha! Maliciously complying with what he was being told. Mostly to be annoying, but hey, I didn’t care.

“Ok, what’s the next question?”

He translated, and with our faithful, complying to the letter vampire, I had a steady means of communication.

Iona sadly got shooed away in short order, and Auri was made to go with her. Their logic was I was the one being examined, not me and my five closest friends. It’d be too easy for cheating to occur, and since Auri [Identified] as a [Mage], she was considered to be a full person in her own right. There were fascinating implications with that, and I’d love to know more. Sadly, thousands of new and interesting things were being thrown at me every second, and I could only do so many things at once.

For now.

Getting a Mirror class and cloning myself a few times was sounding appealing.

“Place of birth, backing, fealty?”

“Aquiliea. None? I’m unsure what this is asking. And… the Sentinels? I’m not sworn to a [Lord] or anything. Don’t even know if the Sentinels still exist.”

I got an incredibly skeptical look on that one, but he faithfully translated. I was prepared to pull out my Sentinel badge if challenged, but the [Scribe] didn’t bother. Apparently, my word was good enough - or she just didn’t care.

Interesting. It implied that my backing and fealty didn’t matter, they just wanted to collect the information.

A dozen more administrative questions later, and the scribe was finished with me. She handed me a one-page sheet.

“Please follow Vitus to the examination area for healers.” The vampire then turned around, walking through another door. It took a moment for me to realize that he was Vitus, and was continuing to be a gigantic pain about literally translating everything.

There was another line I had to queue in, although mercifully shorter. However, snails would outrace the pace this line went at, with what felt like hours between each person shuffling forward.

Probably not actual hours, not with how distractible and hyper I could be, but… pretty close. Then again, that spoke well to the examiners being thorough.

I started to do a mental review of systems, although I was unsure of the format of the exam, or what knowledge would be needed. Also, I realized I’d made some assumptions. Like it’d be an actual exam, and not, like, just looking at my level or something. The slow pace that things went at suggested the first.

I wanted to study the sheet the [Scribe] had given me, to try and divine some more language. However, my time was better spent going over my medicine.

Going into a test completely blind was a terrible idea. Not exactly the best start to my time at the School.

After an eternity - how many damn lines did this School have anyways!? Although I suppose the fact that it was so popular meant it was good… - it was my - our - turn.

I passed through the imposing - yet still temporary - doors into the exam room. Five elvenoids sat on a raised half-circle table, an obvious spot for me in the center. I stepped up, noting that they looked tired and worn down. Not good news for me.

Inscriptions of some sort seemed to cover the room. The table had them on every surface, every leg. The floor had them. The walls and ceiling had them. The only places there were no visible Inscriptions was a circular spot in the center - where I assumed I had to be - and in neat little squares around each examiner’s area, where they all had paper. They glowed with power and use, and I was a little nervous about them. It’d help if I knew what they were for, but I suppose nobody had gotten themselves annihilated yet.

There was an elf, with elk-like horns, wearing yellow robes. A devil in blue. A dwarf in black. A human - although I couldn’t be sure - in black. And another possibly-human in black robes.

I did a quick [Long-Range Identify] sweep as they quickly conversed with Vitus.

They came back in order.

[Healer - 2224]

[Healer - 1439]

[Healer - 256]

[Healer - 256]

[Healer - 256]

All people who should know their stuff. Although I had to remind myself - knowledge and levels didn’t always go hand in hand. I’d known tons of medicine at a low level, and my medical knowledge had somewhat stagnated as I’d leveled up.

Levels were power. They were not knowledge. A level 8 could know more than me.

“Elaine something Aquiliea.” Vitus announced me, with the something probably being ‘of’. His words echoed four times, some magic translating his words from one language to four others. Handy stuff that.

[*ding!* [Learning Languages] Leveled up! 45 -> 46]

One downside - I knew it was ‘of’ in a language, I didn’t know which one. Or ones.

The elf asked a few questions of Vitus, who promptly turned towards me.

“Vitus! Why are you here? Isn’t the girl supposed to speak for herself? You know the rules.”

I gave him a flat stare, which he returned.

He was better at staring me down than I was, and I wanted something from the School. They didn’t need me. I suppose I had to play nice.

“Vitus is translating for me, as apparently my native language isn’t well-known at the School.” I said, Vitus translated, the devil made a snarky remark, and the examiners laughed. Hopefully they were laughing at Vitus, and not me.

“Please pass us your information.” The dwarf asked, and after a moment I realized he meant what the scribe had prepared for me. I had to stretch to get it onto their table - did it really need to be so tall and imposing? I felt positively tiny here.

It got more than a few mutters from the various examiners, until the questions started to come.

“Is your name really Elaine?”

“Yes. My name is Elaine. Elaine also doesn’t mean ‘healer’ in Creation.”

“Where do you come from that you’re speaking the Vampire’s Tongue naturally?” One of the maybe-humans asked. I glared at Vitus, who gave me a smug, condescending smile. There was some translating fuckery going on somewhere along the line, but probably not on his part.

Fine.

“Remus.”

“I am unfamiliar with that location as it pertains to potential new applicants of your age.” The elf said.

The devil coughed.

“This is all fascinating, but we are here to assess her medical knowledge and capabilities to see if she’s eligible to be admitted.”

“Honesty is a critical requirement for a healer.” The other maybe-human said through Vitus, although I detected maybe a hint of a hiss in her voice. “The numbers given are absurd, and her stated level doesn’t match her [Analyze] level.”

That got some agreements.

“I apologize. I’ve been wearing a Deception Ring for my own safety. I’ve heard that mortal lands are hostile to high level healers.” I took the ring in question off, showing off how its invisibility dropped once it was off my hand. A round of muttering occurred, so quickly that in spite of Vitus spitefully trying to keep up, he couldn’t. It was funny to watch him screw up though.

“I also have an [Oath] that’s boosting my abilities.”

“Which [Oath], and what does it pertain to?” The dwarf asked.

“It’s… my own? It’s a healing one, and the bonus is only when I’m healing.”

“If she was capped in her [Oath], that would require it to be 5% per level.” The devil said.

“Which gets back to my issue of integrity being critical.” The same maybe-human with a hiss said.

I shrugged.

“I was asked, I answered. I’m unsure how to prove I have that much power and control. Even getting decapitated and healing it back only takes a fraction of my magic power these days. I suppose if we carefully weighed enough humans at close range, and you accepted my ranged healing penalty as truth you could measure that way, although it’d be terribly unethical, my [Oath] would scream bloody murder at me, and I don’t even have enough mana to properly use it all.”

“I will remind you all that she is a healer, like we all are, and has claimed to have acquired her third class by the age of 22. The type of life required to achieve that is also one that would reward her with numerous powerful classes, which could grant her the abilities she claims. At the end of the day, if there are no other issues with her integrity, and her knowledge is sufficient, there should be no issues with admittance.” The elf said.

“Agreed. Let’s get this exam done.” The devil said.

“How were you taught?” The first maybe-human asked.

“I’m unsure of what you’re asking.” I responded, which got Vitus yelled at a bit, and a half-eaten apple thrown at him. He didn’t translate it.

Ha. Didn’t want to repeat whatever griping they’d given him. I should do that more often.

“How did you obtain your medical knowledge?” The first person asked again.

I hedged a moment. They were already questioning my integrity, and the answer I wanted to give was… not the whole truth, but more believable at least.

“A combination of self-study, and a divine blessing.” Was my answer, which was technically true.

“Did you have a teacher?” The dwarf was next in line, and I could see that the questions would follow around the table.

“I’ve frequently compared notes with other healers, but I wasn’t taught large amounts of the medical arts by one. I’ve had numerous teachers that have taught me fighting, magic, flying, and dozens of other fields and skills.” I thought of Night as I answered, and I wanted to get Vitus alone and throttle some answers out of his smug mouth.

I couldn’t do any harm, but maybe if I sweet-talked Iona, she’d be willing to help.

“Are there any towns, cities, mercenary companies, or armies that can attest to your presence and prowess?” The elf in the middle asked.

“Perinthus. Ariminum. The entire Remus army.” I hesitated over the last one, but, well, they could attest… if they were around. “Ochi.”

I closed my eyes at the last one, memory hammering against me. The slaughter. The screams. The acrid smoke, the literal tens of thousands slaughtered in almost cold blood.

I felt some tears well up, and I wiped them away.

“Sorry.” I croaked out. “Need a moment.”

That got some mutters, but they sounded positive.

“Right.” I straightened myself back up.

“Anatomy. Please tell me the names of the bones in your hand.” The fourth examiner asked through Vitus, then his eyes went wide. A rapid back-and-forth occurred between Vitus and the rest, then the elf made a pronouncement, which Vitus translated.

“Unfortunately, Vitus does not know all of the proper medical terminology required to perform a detailed examination. As such, we will be relying on slightly different questions that he can translate.”

“Understood.”

“Please understand that if you are admitted, you will need to learn one of the primary languages used by the School.”

I nodded in furious understanding.

“I have three skill help me learn. My problem time. My Hakka bad.” I replied in moderate Hakka, delighting as the words were automatically translated. The elf looked positively disgusted at my attempt though. I was probably mauling the accent, and there was a good chance that my tone on ‘problem’ was wrong, which could’ve made an entirely different word.

“We will continue using Vitus to translate.” He said through the unfortunate vampire.

“How many bones are in your hand?”

“27.”

“What is the function of blood?”

“Multiple. It carries nutrition throughout the body. Oxygen throughout the body. Moves waste. Moves…”

I was quick and confident on the initial questions, rattling them off with precision, all while showing off the part of the body in question. I needed more than to just get admitted. I needed to wow them. To blow them out of the water.

I needed what Iona had. A scholarship to the School.

I knew I was broke. The level of wealth I’d seen in the various ques, the prices on the signs I’d seen, all indicated that the School was a place for the wealthy - and likely had a corresponding price tag. The fact that Iona was so proud of her scholarship, and the price tag she’d mentioned on it otherwise, told me one thing.

Without a scholarship, I couldn’t attend.

On and on the questions went, slowly getting harder and harder as the limits of my knowledge were tested.

I thought I knew a lot.

HA!

Their questions revealed a frankly disturbing lack of knowledge on my part.

“Besides the metal used for their armor, what is the difference between a dullahan with iron-based armor, and copper-based armor?”

“What are the seven major parts of a werewolf that change when their curse is active?”

“When a medusa’s hair bites, is petrification, poison, or something else the greatest concern? How would you treat such a bite?”

“What are five different common potion residual build ups, what do they manifest as, and what goes into your image of treating it?”

“What are the anatomical differences between a gnome and a human?”

“A centaur is in breech birth. What steps do you perform to save the foal and mother?”

“Apply a knife to the stomach, cut the foal out, cut the cord, apply healing to both the mother and foal.” I felt decent about that question.

“You wouldn’t form an image?” A follow-up question had me wincing.

“Yes, and no, and yes.” I said, mentally cursing at how poorly it was coming out. “I always run a persistent beacon on myself. Anyone touching me is automatically healed to the best of my ability and power, along with the best image I can form. This includes…” I listed off every single aspect of my image that I had, trying to show off the depth of my knowledge.

I got cut off halfway through connective tissue.

“Yes, yes, we get it. Your full medical knowledge. Back to the prior question.”

“I’ve gotten spoiled recently. Between my excessive power, control, mana, and regeneration, along with my [Persistent Casting], I haven’t needed to fully and properly form an image. There’s simply no need to make them on an individual basis, when I’ve got the general case solved. In a true emergency where, for whatever reason, my [Persistent Casting] is no longer working, a quick ‘save their life’ move is preferred to languidly looking over the patient and thinking about things. I frankly haven’t had the luxury.”

“More of a battlefield medic than a clinical healer.” The elf mused. “There is value in both, and I am sure the people whose lives you have saved appreciate you.”

More questions came, and I answered them to the best of my abilities. My heart slowly sunk as there were more and more questions I just had no answer to.

Instead of trying to bullshit them, I cleanly and honestly told them I didn’t know. They’d smell bullshit a mile away, and there were already some questions on my integrity. Reasonable questions, but oh did it make my blood boil to get questioned like that.

Well.

I suppose I was in a medical exam setting. I should be precise.

My blood was not actually boiling.

“Thank you. I think we have enough.” The elf finally said, and darkness fell around me, containing me and Vitus while the rest of them presumably talked with each other.

“I have so many questions.” Vitus finally admitted.

“Me too.” I agreed.

We didn’t ask each other the questions, knowing this wasn’t the time or the place.

The darkness rose, revealing the examiners again.

“Elaine of Aquiliea.” The elf said. “Your knowledge of human anatomy is excellent. Your levels show a dedication to the craft unsurpassed by nearly all your age. You answer slowly and thoughtfully when the question merits thought, and decisively answer in scenarios where rapid action is required.”

Ok, ok, sounding good so far.

“Your background is curious, and riddled with more holes than an ant’s home. However, we are not in the business of questioning backgrounds, as long as you mean no harm to the School.”

“I don’t.” I quickly replied - well, as quickly as I could with a translator involved.

“However, your comparative anatomy is terrible, practically non-existent. There are more than humans in the world, there are all the elvenoids, let alone the various creatures under the sun and moons. Your knowledge of magical maladies is poor, you know practically nothing of alchemy and potions, and the less is said of your skill-empowered plagues the better.”

Right through the heart. Although, I still maintained that “just heal them and shoot the Classer” was a valid method of dealing with created plagues. It’d worked perfectly fine in Perinthus.

“Fortunately, you have come to us to learn. The School of Sorcery and Spellcraft is not the place for beginning your education, nor is it a place for people who have completed their education. You are perfect. You know enough to make full use of the School, while having enough holes that you will benefit. By a four to one vote, we grant you admittance to the School of Sorcery and Spellcraft. May your time with us be fruitful.”

The elf ended his speech on a rote note, probably having said it thousands of times before, then gestured like he wanted me to leave.

“Quick question! I’ve got no money, is there any chance of a scholarship? Like Iona?”

The examiners looked at each other, quickly asking some questions.

“No.” The elf said with finality, and I felt the world crumbling away.