My house is my temple (Patreon)

Hello! Would you be interested in doing a deity/protagonist one, where the protagonist is an atheist and/or super irreverent

“You know,” Jesse said. “When you said your home was your temple, I didn’t think you meant it literally. This place is insane.” The swivelled on the spot, head tilted back to take in the cavernous ceiling, a low whistle of amazement on their lips. “Look at that light.”

It had taken them years to accept the invite to visit Nova’s home. It was a long way to travel, and though Nova had offered to pay for the flights, everything had its habit of getting busy. They met up in other places. But, they had finally arrived. The air was hot and sweet and an entirely, refreshingly new to everything they had left behind. They couldn’t wait to get their paints out. Already, their fingers itched.

Nova laughed behind them. “I’m glad it pleases you.”

“You’re not secretly a mafia boss or something, are you?” Jesse looked back at their intermittent lover, grinning over one shoulder. “Because, gotta say, actual temple in middle of the mountains...”

“No, I’m not a mafia boss. Or any kind of criminal. At least currently.”

Jesse snorted, and stuffed their hands in the pockets of their jeans, twirling again to try and take in more of the space. They’d got the sense, of course, that Nova was comfortably well off, but they hadn’t expected this. There were actual servants scurrying around too, dressed in uniforms that looked like different coloured robes.

“God, just look at stained glass.” They paused, again, in fresh delight at how the colours spilled in through with the sunlight. “What are the pictures of?”

“The deity of rebirth.”

“That’s who the temple was originally built for?”

“Yes.” Nova came to a stop next to them, peering up at the images also. “Rebirth. Resurrection. Change.”

Jesse laughed, disbelieving as they shook their head. “People will make a god for everything, won’t they?”

Each panel seemed to have a different incarnation of the temple’s deity, and each time the deity had a new form. Sometimes they were female, sometimes male, sometimes somewhere in between. Sometimes they seemed a happy sort of god, all saintly and full of blessings. Other times, the panels were darkened by the deity’s fury, the vivid depiction of broken bones and demanded sacrifice. There was something strangely familiar about the deity, though, despite the shifting horror and awe of them.

“How did you even get a hold of this place?”

“Let’s just say it was in the family.” Nova’s strong arm curled around their waist, drawing them close, pulling them into a deep kiss. “Come.” They nipped Jesse’s lips. “Let me give you a tour.”

***

“This is going to be a weird question.” Jesse had been at Nova’s home for a few idyllic days, enough to find their feet and not be entirely distracted by Nova’s dazzling physical presence in their on-off again life and relationship.

“Mm?” Nova lay sprawled on the sofa, posing for a portrait with a platter of grapes. They took the opportunity to pop one in their mouth.

“Is this – your servants –“ They were obviously servants because Jesse saw them cleaning, and tried not to feel weird about that or the way the servants looked at them with such wide-eyes. “This isn’t a working, active temple. Right? The deity they’re all always praying to in the morning and every night…”

Nova raised an amused eyebrow.

“No,” Jesse said, aghast and perversely gleeful all at once. They put their paint brush down. “That’s obscene. You screwed me on that altar.” 

The two of them had made jokes about virgin sacrifices for the deity and everything.

“It’s not like anyone was around to watch. And you were a perfectly lovely sacrifice.”

Jesse’s heartbeat quickened at the sheer absurdity of it. “You live in a working temple. They don’t mind? Like, they don’t think its sacrilegious?”

There was a definite mischief in Nova’s eyes. “It is a mutually beneficial agreement.”

“And they don’t mind me being here? Like…I mean…” Jesse would be the first to admit that they were not the most respectful when it came to whatever deities’ people believed in, or temple spaces. They splashed Nova in the otherwise tranquil temple pool, made no effort to even pretend to pray, didn’t cover up any more skin than normal, and frankly if they’d known the place was a working temple, that would only have made the thought of pressing Nova up against a wall (or vice versa) more thrilling.

The mischief vanished from Nova’s face, and something in the expression made Jesse’s breath catch. “Have they said something to you?”

“What? No.” Jesse fidgeted. “They just – I mean, the way they treat you. Me, when I’m with you, even.”

Nova had always had a sort of effect on people, Jesse knew that. They were an inspiring sort of person and had an uncanny ability to get their way. But the servants looked at Nova with such reverence it was almost disquieting.

“I mean.” Jesse grimaced, trying to keep it light, voice lowering so the servants didn’t overhear. “They treat you like you’re some kind of god.”

“Deity,” Nova said, with a nod, as if there was nothing odd about that. “Of rebirth.” They pointed, again, to one of the many depictions of said deity that were found in most rooms of the temple somewhere or other.

Jesse laughed.

Nova did not.

Jesse stopped laughing.

“Except…you’re not the deity of rebirth,” they said, moving from behind the easel, restless now, because Nova didn’t look like they were joking. “Because deities are just stories. They don’t actually exist.”

“I’m aware of your feelings on the matter.”

“But you’re happy to just let them believe you’re some kind of divine creature?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that…I mean…that’s…” They were Nova’s guest, and in the years Jesse had known the other, they’d grown to like Nova a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Even if they didn’t see each other as much as they would have wanted to, between Nova's constant travelling and life being generally busy. “I’m sorry, but that’s unethical. Isn’t it? You’re just some guy. You can’t…”

Nova’s head tilted.

“How would you even have got them to believe that rubbish in the first place?” Jesse said.

“My various acts of divinity since humans existed?”

“Not funny.”

“They were occasionally quite funny actually. At least, to me.”

Jesse frowned.

“Oh, come now,” Nova said. “You’ve never paid the slightest interest nor respect to any deities. You don’t even know the names of the old gods and goddesses. What’s it to you? Let's just talk about something else.”

“My choosing not to take the gods or their alleged existence seriously is not the same as you actively –“ Jesse stopped. They’d been having a perfect few days of relaxation and good food and good conversation. They certainly hadn’t come to visit a dear friend/lover just to get into the kind of argument that could turn genuinely nasty. So it turned out that Nova was a bit of a – well. The best option was indeed to just talk about something else. To not ruin the visit.

“Say it.” There was something else glittering in Nova’s eyes, perhaps challenge, perhaps something more difficult to pin down. But that had always been very like their lover too – fickle and tempestuous thing that they were. They sat up on the sofa with a fluid grace. “Don’t go shy on me now, J. It’s not like you.”

Jesse swallowed but, well, if Nova was going to ask for it. They clenched their jaw, jutting their chin up, meeting the challenge head on.

“My choosing not to take the gods seriously is not the same as you actively exploiting people who do. Like, what if something happens and they come praying to you for help? You don’t have any divine powers.”

“That you know of.”

“Ha bloody ha.” Jesse pushed to their feet, suddenly and surprisingly furious. “Seriously? Like, you can’t just let people think you’re some kind of god for your own gain. That’s creepy and it’s cult-like. Never mind how you even managed to actually convince them—"

Nova smiled, faintly, despite the lingering something on their face. “You have a good heart, J. I’ve always admired it. But…” Nova pushed to their feet too, with an air of something dangerous. “Your premise is invalid. So I’m going to stop you before you say something we’ll both regret.”

“Excuse me?”

“It is not exploitation, or a cruel trick, when I actually am the deity of rebirth and it actually is their entire purpose in life to worship and serve me.”

For a moment, Jesse was convinced they’d misheard.

“You’re the deity of rebirth.”

“I’m aware that goes against your beliefs, so I wasn’t going to make too fine a point of it.” Nova held their gaze. “But, see, now you’re upset and I’m honestly a little offended that you think I would take advantage of the humans under my care. I thought you knew me better than that.”

Jesse had thought they knew Nova better than that too, that was why the whole thing was so completely aggravating and entirely bonkers. But…

“Deities don’t exist,” Jesse said again, a little helplessly. “You don’t actually believe…”

It was true that the two of them rarely talked about their feelings about the gods. Religions and politics were the quickest mood killers of a generally fun, casual relationship.

Something shifted in Nova's face again.

They threw a hand out, carelessly, in the direction of the abandoned bowl of grapes. In an instant, the grapes transformed, until Jesse was looking at small bowl of wine instead.

Jesse closed their eyes. They opened them again. There were no grapes.

Something jangled at their nerve endings, sliding uneasy down their spine. They took a step back on some primal instinct, shaking their head.

“No – but that’s not – you’re not –” Jesse’s head spun. They felt on the edge of an enormous, dizzying drop.

Nova looked exactly the same as they had only moments before. Their hand, which had held and caressed and touched Jesse a few hundred times before, looked exactly the same.

"...I probably shouldn’t have done that,” Nova said, in a different sort of voice that Jesse hadn’t heard before, as they examined Jesse’s stricken expression. “At least, I shouldn’t have told you like that. I have been meaning to tell you, but it didn’t feel like there was really a good way to shatter your entire fragile belief system. Shit. Do you want me to make you forget so we can try this again?”

“Make me-“ Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Deities weren’t real, and if they were, Jesse wouldn’t have been on and off dating one of them for the last half a decade. They didn’t even like the idea of gods as a concept but they wouldn't have been that blind. 

They were going to pass out.

They were going to scream.

There were hidden cameras somewhere, right? This was an elaborate hoax that everyone was in on, right?

They thought back to the way the servants had looked at them, laughing and teasing Nova, hell hip checking Nova into the pool, kissing Nova and…

Deities were not real. They did not believe in deities. Everything they thought was true was not a lie.

Jesse picked up the bowl of not grapes and threw them in Nova’s face.

They were definitely not grapes anymore. They had definitely been grapes.

“Well,” Nova said, their whole body beginning to change. “I suppose I should have expected that from you. Oh – J –“

Jesse's vision tunnelled.

The last thing they were aware of was Nova catching them before they hit the floor and a second quiet, emphatic, "shit."