Ring out the old year, Ring in the new. Ringy ding ding. (Patreon)

It is 2017, and soon enough everyone you know is gonna be saying "It's 2017" as a lazy way of explaining any sort of tragedy or terrible human behaviour. They did it last year. They did it the year before that. I can't remember anything earlier than 2015, but I'm pretty sure they probably did it before that too. 

But I think if we act fast we can make "It's 2017," shorthand for something else entirely. Something better. So when you're at the grocery  store later today, buy five big tubs of ice cream and smile real wide at the gentleman working the cash. "It's 2017," you'll tell him. 

Then, on your way out the door, give your last $100 to the girl with the dog and the sign. That's way too much money, you can't afford that! She'll probably want to shake your hand, or explain that she's actually a millionaire who has been looking for a kind soul just like yours so that - but you're already halfway down the street! "It's 2017!" you'll holler. 

It's 2017, you'll explain to your landlord on rent day, and he'll make that crabby face he always does, and reach into his jacket for something. An eviction notice, maybe? But no, it's candy! It's your favourite candy from when you were just little! How did he -? 

But he just smiles. It's 2017.