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Hey patronites! A new week has begun, and I hope it brings you all the motivation and strength to achieve everything you've set out to do! šŸ’Ŗ

My Monday started off a bit chaotic 🫠 Dasha somehow managed to choke on something she wasn’t supposed to be eating (of course! 😭) The moment I noticed, I completely panicked and immediately thought I had to do something. Instinctively, I tried performing the Heimlich maneuver on her, fearing the worst. I was so desperate to help that I even messaged Dr. Paulo this morning, asking if it was really necessary, since she wasn’t actually out of breath or in distress. I couldn’t see anything in her throat. She was just trying to expel whatever was bothering her, not necessarily choking in a dangerous way. Thankfully, Dasha figured things out on her own, but the whole situation left me deep in thought…

I've always been someone who prioritizes others, always stepping in to help whenever I can. But this made me realize how difficult it is for me to distinguish when something genuinely requires my intervention and when I should take a step back. This constant impulse to act, to prevent, to control—where does it come from? And more importantly, how do I learn to manage it?

I study a lot about Stoicism and philosophy, but I still struggle to control my impulses and emotions. Looking back, I know this stems from my past... After everything I’ve been through, it's no surprise that my first instinct is always to be on high alert, ready to react. Today’s episode with Dasha made me recognize that this is something I truly need to work on. That’s why I finally decided to return to therapy šŸ˜… I know that self-awareness alone isn’t enough. I need the right tools to navigate these reactions in a healthier way šŸ™

_

On a lighter note, Sunday was my rest day! Instead of gaming, I wanted something more relaxing, so I finally started watching an anime that had been on my list for a long time—Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End. And wow... I completely fell in love with it šŸ„ŗšŸ’™

The emotional depth in this story hit me right in the heart. It’s about an elf mage, Frieren, who embarks on a journey long after the legendary adventure she once had with her party is over. The way the anime explores time, memory, and the emotional bonds we create is just so touching. It’s rare to find a story that blends melancholy and warmth so beautifully. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it!

Aside from that, I’ve been working on optimizing my routine, and it makes me really happy to see that I’m managing to keep up with my training and diet without it feeling like a sacrifice. After all, discipline is the key to everything šŸ”‘

Let’s make this week count! What are your goals for the week?

PS: Let me know if long, introspective posts like this are of interest to you 🄰

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Comments

Victor

Oh my God, I'm so relieved Dasha is okay. 🄺 Your reaction was perfectly normal. I would have been in a panic myself and trying to get the object out, maybe even making the situation worse. You did absolutely the right thing by observing her closely and contacting the vet. I'm very thankful everything turned out okay. Whatever decisions you make and whatever steps you take, we'll always be here for you. I hope the rest of your week goes calmly. šŸ™

怌E怍

Freiren is SOOO good!! Its cool how you're looking into philosophy to help you but also its good to recognize how you can't do it alone. I started therapy as well and its only beginning but I can already see how talking to someone else will help. Keep it up Dani! You're doing awesome

Ewelyra

You finally have watched Frieren. šŸ„¹ā¤ļø It is such a beautiful Anime.

HitsuBT

Pardon the tl;dr: I feel like we at least share the same thought processes on stuff like this. I think that does come from folks like us wanting to brace for impact. (I'll keep it brief but just sharing to relate: I had a medical scare this last week. Everything's cool now as I visited the doc, but I was legitimately calling all my friends fearing THE worst scenario and it ended up being something really stupid... just the immediate scenario + the symptoms were scary as hell so I just assumed "Welp, guess this is it." LOL). Point is, it's hard for folks like us to not want to just assume the worst and try to take action. I don't think anyone will blame you; especially with this last year being as devastating as that was for you personally. (Not trying to diagnose or anything) but reassuring you that stuff like this is a trauma response. I'm glad you're seeking some therapy to help you figure some of that out. It's a lot of spent energy worrying about even the tiniest things so trying to recalibrate yourself and sort it out will definitely help you in the long run. Proud of you for doing that and sharing that with us. Glad Dasha's okay anyways! You're a good pet mom so keep rocking hard at what you're doing. You're inspiring us (and sometimes reassuring some of us that we're not bonkers over this side xD)! We're all just people tryna live our lives and especially don't forget that or beat yourself up about it :v! (Keep up with Frieren that shit is so cash)!!! xD

Miles

ā€œlong, introspective posts like this are of interest to you šŸ„°ā€ This is literally the main reason I’m around here for šŸ˜‚, reply chain coming later to tackle all this

dekavader

Uma ótima semana pra vocĆŖ tambĆ©m, Dani šŸ„°ā¤ļø

Miles

ā€œBut this made me realize how difficult it is for me to distinguish when something genuinely requires my intervention and when I should take a step back. This constant impulse to act, to prevent, to control—where does it come from? And more importantly, how do I learn to manage it?ā€ It’s your ā€œloving motherly natureā€ kicking in, your ā€œmaternal instinctsā€ that’s some core VEDO right there imo, your a mom to dasha, and being ā€œlovey doveyā€ to everything and everyone practically is a part of your dna, so those instincts kicked in, as you were worried about your child. That’s natural. Because think of it this way, if the other scenario happened (GOD FORBID OFC) That she was indeed choking and unable to resolve the situation and your response was to just stand and try to analyze the situation, you would’ve been sent into another spiral of depression, arguably potentially a worse one as you’d live with guilt šŸ˜– I understand your impulse , it’s a core function of the amygdala of the brain, but in this specific context, I think the impulse to act was warranted But on a deeper philosophical level, it’s about recognizing the emotions and thoughts as they come by as when you label and recognize those thoughts, they lose their grip over you and you can stay ā€œin the present momentā€ You can just breathe and react properly, doesn’t mean youill be able to negate 100% of the thoughts, but youill be able to fight back and have control but, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, even as a avoidant type, your a very emotional person, so naturally the emotional part of your brain kicks in first (again not in a bad way, it’s another part of how the brain works, where the irrational part of the brain works first, the part that sparks a emotional reaction, and then the rational part works after to think about the situation) Only because it’s Vedo I care to write an essay šŸ˜‚

Miles

ā€œI need the right tools to navigate these reactions in a healthier way šŸ™ā€ One of the most eye opening words, that i read from a book called ā€œsolve for happyā€ when i was weak. ā€œYou are not your thoughtsā€ Your thoughts exist in parallel with you,

Miles

ā€œAfter everything I’ve been through, it's no surprise that my first instinct is always to be on high alert, ready to reactā€ And I think you know the absolute journey I’ve been on, so with experience about the past, It’s a defense mechanism kicking in on your brain from past experiences, your using those past experiences to help gauge the new situation at hand as your brain looks for the closest association when assessing something new, and then compares and contrasts the memory with the present and then provides the best courses of action to take at your current level I’m also saying all this as, when you understand the underlying mechanisms of emotion and how the brain works, it sort of passively, makes you get stronger on handling these things, least it did for me

Miles

ā€œThe way the anime explores time, memory, and the emotional bonds we create is just so touchingā€ Know what’s like this but with a comedy lens till the serious arcs? Gintama 8D Eventually I’ll get to that one, just been Dr stone and dragonball daima (2 episodes left) and then another yakuza game comes out this week so that’s priority for me

Adrian N

First of all, it's good that there wasn't a bigger problem with Dasha. šŸ™šŸ» Stoicism allows us to have a more serene character in the face of daily adversities, Dani. However, as human beings, the natural emotions that arise from our own survival instincts and for those we care about often dominate our actions. We are emotional beings, Dani, imperfect beings who every day try to be a little better than the day before 😊. If the concept of imperfection didn't exist in the first place, the concept of perfection would cease to make sense in itself, don't you think? šŸ¤”šŸ˜… Greetings Dani! šŸ’˜

snake7778

I think it is good to talk about things like this to people, even through the internet, sometimes they care more than a person can imagine...or thery realize they are not alone in their own struggles. To the anime part I really want to watch that, but sadly its not on the Netflix. And the plans for the week are to draw some more pictures from games for my challenge.

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

Thank you so much for sharing that with me! I completely relate to what you’re saying, our brains instantly jump to the worst-case scenario, and it’s so hard to break that pattern 😭 I'm really glad your medical scare turned out to be nothing serious! And you're absolutely right, this kind of reaction is definitely a trauma response. It takes a lot of energy to constantly be on high alert, but I hope that, with therapy, I can work on recalibrating and finding a better balance. And thank you for your kind words about Dasha! 🄹 Knowing that I’m not the only one overthinking every little thing means a lot! ā¤ļø

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

YES! Finally šŸ˜­ā¤ļø And I fell in love immediately. It's such a beautifully written story with so much emotional depth 🄺

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

It really is SO good! 😭 And I totally agree! Philosophy has been helping me a lot, but there are things we just can’t navigate alone. I’m glad to hear you started therapy too! Even though it’s just the beginning, I hope it helps you as much as I believe it will help me. Thank you for the encouragement, that means a lot! 🄰

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

Aww, thank you so much! šŸ„¹ā¤ļø I know you understand me so well, and honestly, reading your words gave me a lot of comfort. My reaction was pure panic, and I couldn’t think straight in that moment. But sometimes trying to help can make things worse 🄺 It’s something I really want to learn to control better. And seriously, having friends like you who always have my back makes everything easier. Thank you for always being here for me! 🄰

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

Miles, I swear, ultra instinct is something. šŸ˜­šŸ’™ The way you described my reaction as a mix of maternal instinct and loving motherly nature really hit me. I guess it’s just in my DNA to care too much and immediately go into panic mode when someone I love is in trouble. And you're absolutely right, if the worst had happened and I had hesitated, I would have spiraled into guilt, so in this case, the impulse to act was justified 🄺 But at the same time, I know I need to manage my emotional responses better, so I don’t let panic take over when a clear mind is needed. That quote "You are not your thoughts" really stuck with me. I feel like that’s exactly what I need to internalize. My emotions and reactions are a part of me, but they don’t define me. Understanding the way my brain reacts, constantly scanning for threats, making connections to past experiences, helps me see that this is just a defense mechanism at play. And you’re right, the more we understand how emotions and the brain actually work, the better we can handle them. I hope that over time, I can retrain myself to react differently. It’s a long process, but I’m working on it! šŸ™

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

Thank you so much, Adrian! šŸ™ You put it beautifully 🄺 Stoicism helps a lot, but at the end of the day, we’re still human, and emotions will always play a role in our actions. The key is finding balance, I guess... And I love what you said about imperfection! It’s true, without it, perfection wouldn’t even have meaning. That perspective is really comforting. I’ll keep that in mind as I keep working on myself, one step at a time 🄰

Danielle Vedovelli ą»’ź’±

That’s so true! Sometimes we don’t realize how much others carry inside, and just opening up can make people feel less alone in their struggles. I’m really glad you liked the post! 🄺 I also feel like the internet is becoming more and more superficial, and people are losing their sense of connection and depth in things. It’s like everything is fast, fleeting, and shallow. That’s why I want to take a different approach, at least in the spaces where I have a voice. I want to create a place where meaningful conversations and real emotions still have value 🄰 As for Frieren, I highly recommend it if you ever get the chance! It’s such a beautiful and emotional journey. And good news! It will be available starting March 1st! (At least in Brazil) šŸ™ Hopefully, it’ll be accessible for you! And your plan for the week sounds awesome! Drawing game-inspired pictures sounds like a great creative challenge. Hope you have fun with it! ✨

HitsuBT

Occasionally it's nice to know that you're not the only one going through it so it works both ways. Keep doin what you're doin though :o! Scary stuff happening all around us but you've got a good support system there and then we're here on this side of the net to also supplement xD! Stay strong :v! Doin great!

Adrian N

Nice day Dani, I usually talk a lot about philosophy so I wanted to try to send you a little message of support from that perspective šŸ™‚

Miles

Another quote for you to think on that I learned on ā€œRespond, not reactā€ ā€œSo I don’t let panic take over when a clear mind is neededā€ This is kinda deep, but see, that’s your ā€œcontrolā€ part of you talking there (not a bad way) It’s tough to explain, and hell not like I’m some bastion of perfection on this either but It’s not about ā€œcontrolā€ it’s about ā€œrecognitionā€ it’s seeing the thoughts as they come and go. Because when you recognize your thoughts as they come and go, then they lose their ā€œcontrolā€ over you So like ok, Dasha situation. Vedo can’t control her thoughts there, Vedo should recognize her emotions in that situation ā€œpanicā€ ā€œstressedā€ ā€œworriedā€ ā€œscaredā€ ā€œterrifiedā€ ā€œtraumatizedā€ and label them in her mind, and by doing so, they don’t have as strong a grip on you as before It’s from a few schools of thought Meditation = as when meditating, they always say if you get distracted, simply note that and begin again, as you can’t stop thoughts entering but it’s not about stopping thoughts entering, it’s about recognizing when the thoughts enter and then tug yourself back to the breathing exercise of meditation A building block of focus And doing this masterclass stuff, been learning about conversations, and one of the teachers is a former CIA expert named Chris Voss One of the techniques he teaches folks is ā€œlabelingā€, when your dealing with a tough person on the other end, like they are nagging or angry or frustrated, if you sort of help them recognize their emotional state, it helps defuse the situation It’s very fascinating stuff but it’s about recognition not control

Miles

Also, don’t be too hard on yourself on the path to do this šŸ˜… Talking like an adult here because I care, your diagnosed with ADHD, and your tendency is that of love and emotional Naturally, this will be a tougher journey ahead, It’s like if, sasuke 8D, was trying to learn sage mode, his tendencies would make that be a tougher adjustment road ahead for him Self improvement is not a straight line, but it’s about an upward trend, just aim for even 0.1% progress as over time it adds up šŸ„¹šŸ¤—.

Miles

Pardon the jumping in snake, just wanted to reply to Vedo here I think things like tiktok and those style of short videos have contributed to destroying people’s attention span, hence a lot of folks are so used to fast and shallow fixes Superficial in the sense that people get attached to online and not even try to engage in conversation