Mine (Patreon)

 "Why do you put that sarcophagus under the sun all day? It's a little noisy."

"It's designed for that purpose. Don't you enjoy the moaning from the undead girl inside?"

"It freaks me out; I can't believe someone is still alive inside there!"

"I don't blame you for feeling that way, however I enjoy it a lot."

"You should do! I am still perplexed as to how you managed to convince the archaeologists to transfer their biggest discovery to you."

"hummm....It was easy; everyone who knew that this sarcophagus exists have since disappeared in the desert."

"uhh... what...?"