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Red flags get all the attention. “He texts his ex.” She says ‘I’m not like other girls’ unironically. They think edging is just a...

Red flags get all the attention.

“He texts his ex.”

She says ‘I’m not like other girls’ unironically.

They think edging is just a landscaping technique.

But let’s flip it.

What’s a green flag you always look for in someone?Could be deep, like emotional availability or healthy conflict resolution.Could be dangerously hot, like knowing how to fix the car engine. Could be the voice. You know the one.

Drop your green flags in the comments and let’s romanticise the hell out of being treated well for once.

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Comments

Rose

How he treats his mother. That will tell you everything you need to know

Sassy Cassie

Being understanding. Understanding someone's trying, or that it's possible to have more than one bad day in a row.

Shelby Montague

They know the sidewalk / parking lot rule

Tera La'Shun

He has stability. He's not all over the place.

Melanie

Someone who genuinely wants to spend time with you and have deep conversations. If I can’t find someone like that, I don’t want it.

Amano

when he’s ✨fictional✨

Ezra

Their gentleness, patience and understanding. Their capacity to not loose themselves but still hold space for you, the relationship and themselves

Serein

emotional intelligence

Amyyyy

I think holding my gaze while I talk or cuddles on a bed/sofa are definitely the catch

ginzytokyo

If he’s a gentleman

Liv

Not afraid to cry and be vulnerable with me. Good communication is key 🔑

Cayla 💕

The ability to know that it ok to say I’m get frustrated and don’t know what to say can we talk abt it later during an argument or a bad day

Esmeyoo

probably the person I'm interested in will prioritize their friends over you

Lily Louise

Communicates well and doesn't shut down.

Angelica Grimaldi

Patience and the ability to see situations from multiple perspectives - emotional intelligence, essentially A fun one is someone with a Daddy kink when alone but “yes ma’am” behavior everywhere else 🙈

Lily

Knows how to cook and enjoys doing it. That is just 🥰

Lena

Someone who’s honest but will also help me when he knows I need it

Becky

Emotional intelligence

Sarah

If he acts the same in public and private.

Raven Dawn

how they present themselves either around others or whenever talking about something they're passionate about. that honest and earnest light in their eyes whenever they're around their buddies or talking about what they love shows that they have the love for something besides you.

Lena

But I also love me a man who can put me in my place respectfully ofc

Nazli

His wisdom and intelligence

Bunny Li

His willingness to be silly and have fun ☺️

Annie

The way he pays attention to little details. The look in his eyes when he looks at me: that doesn’t lie.

Kara Ax

This 🤭👆

A.Riz

A man who overshares, tell me about your day, vent to me about work and all that’s in your mind. I’m an over thinker , it helps my mind be at ease when he overshares. A man who can bring me mental peace is Top Tier Green flag energy.

Unknown

Do his actions match his words? Does he lead with intention. Do said intentions, encapsulate your foundations needs, wants and desires, without requiring reiteration.

Aime Laroj

That person should know how to communicate and enjoy doing so, not be afraid to say how they feel, not minimise how I feel, and be aware of what they think, say and do.🤍✨️

PrincessRiley

Someone who is respectful, loyal and genuinely into me. Someone who doesn't see me as a piece of meat. (Except when I want them too 😈) . Someone who respects my autonomy and has his own goals and dreams but also misses every moment we aren't rogether.

Ruri

Someone who respects my feelings and emotions and wouldn't make fun of them, someone i don't have to explain to them why am angry or irritated! NOT A MIND READER! But he knows me so well that he understands me.

Ashley Marie

Humor and Laughter I melt as soon as one of the VAs laughs in an audio.

Aloma Jones

Emotional intelligence, and is Kind.

Henley Jean

How animals/pets react to them. Either my own and how they are when they met him, or the other way around with how his own pets act with him

kayla

Respecting boundaries is major.

Bow

Clear communication

Shiki

When the person picks up patters on how I act or what I do. It surprised me, and made me embarrassed but happy. Not sure if that's weird or not.

Teles

Open mindedness.

Josie

Quiet confidence. He's got his life together and is ready to bring mature grown energy to mine ✨

Lex

Thinking ahead for me.... I once saw a video of a guy putting his hand on the corner of a table when his wife bent down to pick something up off the floor so she wouldn't bang her head on it . All the while still maintaining conversation with someone else and that just made my heart flutter. It was so subtle and literally nothing big, but it's spoke VOLUMES.

Sniper

Wait staff, if he treats them right rather than bellow him.

DeeVine

Being humble. Treating staff and working people kindly. Being snobbish towards others is a huge turn off.

Brittjadeheart

Communicating one’s feelings without manipulation

Riri

Physical green flags: 1. Voice , OMG the voice. 2. A smile that reaches their eyes 3. Long fingers with clean nails Mental Green flags 1. Sense of humor 2. Intelligence 3. Ability to articulate their thoughts Emotional and most important green flags 1. Long term friends of both sexes that they’ve never had a thing with 2. Kindness towards animals and kids 3. If their employees love them and swear by them 4. Close to family but not dependent on them for finances or decision making 5. Ability to communicate honestly yet kindly

PhoenixMoon

Animal lover. Pets never lie. Empathy. Not enough to get taken advantage of, bit a nice person nonetheless. Sense of self. Knows who he is and walks in it unapologetically. Patient. I can be a handful at times. Enough authority to tell me to sit down and be quiet without raising my hackles. A good cook. Listens to me blabber on about my interests, even though they don’t include him. (Ex Star Trek) Bonus if he tries to learn as well.

Lisica

Respects everybody until it’s not deserved, listens and acknowledges rather than just arguing to prove they’re right, patience, attentive to my likes and dislikes, communicative about their likes and dislikes, tells me smth is wrong b4 letting it fester and become a problem, considerate, (not a green flag but rather a preference) can be dominant and submissive, open to trying new things/adaptive, doesn’t believe someone should do smth bc of their gender, initiative, wants me doesn’t need me, etc. I could go on and on, but I’d say those r some of the most important ones to me.

G.OODLITTLECUMSLUT

responsibility is always the key, plus, taking great care of me, willing to listen and to change.

Sam

Genuine kindness literally just be kind. I think everything else stems from that

Misfit Whocares

Humor. The healthy kind. Like no pranks or doing anything forced to be seen as funny. Just natural humor that makes me snort laugh.

maggs

Someone who practices intentional kindness, someone who is down to earth too - there’s my two answers (I couldn’t pick one 🤦‍♀️).

Melody Addams

I love people who listen to listen. A lot of people just listen to talk. And if they allow me to break down and then put me back together phew. sometimes I just need to bawl my eyes out without having to explain myself.

Mandy Khumalo

Some one who seeks to understand and doesn't jump to conclusions. Communication is the sexiest skill in the world. Respects boundaries

Rosecco

He falls first. And harder.

Punzie

My green flag is that they are kind to animals and are willing to just listen to a person vent when they just need venting.

Evelyn Palleschi

Cleaning with out being asked . Pashent with health . Kind to animals . Incuraging

patreon2025

when they're cracking up with my joke. I joke like a lousy jester fyi

Vickles24

Nothing sexier than a man vacuuming or doing the dishes.

brneyes_tk

Passion. He has to have passion in his own life first before I can see him being passionate w/me.

Happy Space

Actually listening and engaging when a kid talks to them. Being polite first but adapting if needed. Knowing how to apologize not just saying I'm sorry but acknowledging what your apologizing for. Not forcing their mood onto others your bad day doesn't have to be everyone's bad day.

Sora

They let me ramble. As well as letting me go on tangents and occasionally reminding me of original topic

Morgan Fowlks

Good with kids/pets, not afraid to be his goofy self, checks in on my physical and mental health, just in general puts up with my stubborn ass lol

Starfish

Someone that’s truly nice and not just to me but everyone

Snickerxp

Their sense of humor, what they find funny tends to be a good indicator of who they are.

Nicole

Treats others with kindness and respect.

MooneyMae

Willing to listen and not interrupt/interject their own experiences(it's usually not even related to the discussion)

sweetpea091417

Communication is always the key. Let me know how you’re feeling. Nothing worse than negative feelings stewing. And laughter. And unhinged, nose snorting , tears rolling down your face laughter. 🤭

Sinjin

Not afraid to be honest with their emotions and as everyone says communication!!!

Salt in the Honey

They can have a productive disagreement, ugh let's solve it babe 🥵

Anna Kit

I would believe that kindness to animals and communication

Chrissy

The way he is around babies. I love seeing a guy trying to make a baby giggle and smile.

Mae

They know what they want. Not beating around the bush, just being straight forward and going for it

Khelisie Salvatore

How they treat other people and animals. GOOD sense of humor and not excessively dark humor. Their voice gotta be giving BDE from BEFORE we get in the bedroom... And D is for Daddy. Show interest in what I have to say.

Timika Ramirez

Empathy. It's astounding the lack of empathy we have as a society. Even if you haven't experienced the same events as others, you should still be able to show compassion and understanding. Definitely one of the first things I look for when meeting new people.

Empress Cheetara

When he accepts my weird quirks and calls them cute. For example (this one is new), I can't fall asleep without him putting me to bed either in person or over the phone. His voice is my safe space and I can't fall asleep without it. 🥰

Dyann♡

1. Hygiene 2. He has hobbies but know his priorities (example: i don't mind if they love playing video games as long as they know when to stop if it's becoming an addiction) 3. Humor 4. When he listens to understand, not to provide advice (Women are emotional and Men are logical... This has been a problem for me with my bf because everytime I vent out, he provides solutions instead of just listening to me and give me comfort... I already know what to do with the problem, I just need to be comforted lol) 5. When he's taller than me. (Although I'm 5'2" so I guess everyone's taller than me 🤣) 6. If he makes an effort to know my culture (only applies if I'm gonna date someone outside my ethnicity) Not so much with the language, I can speak English so that's fine... 7. He understands my 'MIA' days.. I tend to get overwhelmed by communicating everyday,. sometimes I just want silence and to be alone. 8. When he remembers every small detail about me. 9. Emotionally Intelligent 10. He is kind to service people. 11. Not so much with this one but I get easily attracted to someone who can sing and play an instrument 🫠

Ren

Being able to talk about differing opinions calmly, without insulting or dismissing the other

sage

1. When he talks about his feelings and insecurities and does not try to seem invincible, yes we love our men strong and all but pookie you are still human and when he can show me his vulnerable side confidentiality that is just so sexey. 2. When he is protective but in a sense were he shares his worries about a situation but also just stands behind you no mater what you choose. example: they go out clubbing she wears her new super sexey and revealing dress he tells her that this could cause unwanted attention but let's her wear it when she feels comfortable but when they are at the club and someone should have the audacity to be rude or disrespectful oh may the lord be with that fella cause my man does not fuck around when it is about protecting his woman. 3. When he is just honest, I hate miss communication so someone who just tells everything as it is even when it could be uncomfortable to hear at times. 4. When they express their feelings like my ex he sometimes just looked at me with those loving gaze and just said randomly while watching a movie or something " I am so happy tight now" or " Jesus I love you so much" and that is just so reassuring and nice because so you don't ever have to guess how he feels in a situation because he said it and it is so endearing. 5. when he is close with his friends and family and life's for his values and does not anybody manipulate him into betraying those.

KittyC

When they are completely devoted to their romantic interest, especially if their partner isn’t someone who “lights up a room” or is particularly easygoing or low maintenance.

Shanchan80

If they treat service workers well; waiters, cooks, sanitation, cleaners...if hes respectful to the hard working 'invisible' people, that's a major green flag! It shows that he doesn't take people for granted and that he's aware of others!

Miki

You think it’s a green flag to not like black women? 🤨

Desi

Sense of humor, the way you just feel safe in their presence like you know instinctually this person is a good egg and your nervous system settles immediately, love of cats/has cats

Veronica Rose

Being kind to wait staff and other service workers

SundayNext

I'm dangerously allergic to strawberries, if a partner remembers to mention that when we're out, or even better puts it in the notes for our reservation.

Lou

General respect for other people, doing things without being asked (like cleaning), knowing when to comfort and not dismissive about it, able to be vulnerable, GOOD COMMUNICATION

HeartAnime14

Someone willing to grow with me and open minded [open to things but can have their own stands on stuff, while not a wuss in they cave in or cater to others without looking into it themselves.

Summer Suzuki

How they treat customer service/food service workers.

We_Warriors

Right? Didn't know BKS had these types of people in the building but as a Darkskin woman not surprised were brought up in everything 🙄

Magnolia Mia

when they are liked by babies in grocery stores or dogs on walks like if babies just like smile and they interact back-and-forth and just have like a soft presence I think that that’s a great green flag and also if they remember like the little things, such as what my favorite movie candy is or like paying attention to like the little details, green flags all across the board

K H

Absolutely 💯.

K H

Yup me too

Kalli

If you spill something on the floor by accident, and they don’t yell at you they check to see if you’re OK first. And then they calm me down and tell you to stop saying sorry accident happened. And they help clean up.

K H

If they are close with their families and have a great sense of humor.

EmNeedsAComa

Doesn’t talk about sex or things to lead to sex (cuddling kissing etc) immediately and waits for reciprocation.

Jessica PIERRE

Emotional intelligence, well-constructed inner world, orderly psyche, vulnerability, well-made brain. 🥰❤️

Hannah

Asks questions about my interests, and likes to take eveing walks ❤️

Bezzy Mills

My go-to green flag is someone who is trauma-informed with the ability to use it. Someone with that knowledge is typically, in my experience, emotionally intelligent and mature.

Eliza

A good bond with friends and or family. Particularly long term friendships.

Cutie🖤DARK ROMANCE ⛓️🎃

My main green flags are trust and i have too feel safe like allways have safe word or reasurance that there not going too hurt me unfortunately ex partners have made me this way if they can give these 2 it means alot as it shows me there a kind man

maggs

this is not it.

shelby🖤

When they’re kind to women they aren’t romantically involved with. Like yes if u see a woman coming to the door then hold it for her. Help with the groceries to the car or up the stairs. Help them with a tire. The idea that kindness = sexual attraction is insane to me. I’ll never understand it. And personally, if I can’t trust u enough to just be around other women then ur not the one for me.

°°Chinita°° ♡︎ ᵕ̈

The big 3 would always have to be: 1. A good communicator 2. Honesty and reassurance 3. Respect for me and my family 💚💚💚

Mouse

I’ve had a LOT of red flags, so my green flags are considered “bare minimum” lol. But the biggest green flag for me is if they have a pet that shows no fear toward them. Even BIGGER green flag if it’s a cat, cause those bitches will just live with you rent free, no affection but we still keep them lol.

C.

My green flags have been changing through the years... growing up really opens your eyes. Seeing how society has become more narcissistic, one of the 1st things I notice is empathy and kindness. If someone isn't capable of trying to understand how others feel, or don't have sympathy for another person's situation, they won't be able to do it in a relationship. And this goes in hand with how they treat others in daily situations as well. So, behaving like a good and understanding person is crucial for me. Another one is when a man knows how to have deep conversations about everything and anything. And when they're have knowledge to talk about different topics or, at least, are curious enough to ask and understand things they don't know much about. Of course, others like sense of humour, confidence, ambition, emotional intelligence, etc are much appreciated

VirgoEmpress

1. Maturity 2. Has a kind heart 3. Has manners 4. Does good deeds for no return

GabbyAnn

When it comes to men it would be one that is secure in his masculinity. Especially during the time of the month we women have. But also, that wearing a certiain color, carrying or buying certain things why actually stepping up.... Also ANY PROPER CAT DADS. A good cat dad knows about boundaries.

Doña Yayi

1. Has to be very honest. No sugar coating!!! I can smell the BS a miles away lol 🤭🤭 2. He has to have a very fun and colorful sense of humor!!!!! A man's way to my heart 🥰🥰🥰 has to make me smile and laugh!!!! 3. Has to be respectful to me and the mist important people in my life my family. No respect?....bro there is the DOOR!!!!! 4. GREAT communication. Whether its about something good or bad he is not afraid to address it and we can sit down and come up with solutions in a very positive and respectful manner. 5. OOOOOOOHHH he has to be super romantiiiic!!!!! A holding the door for me, holding hands, stealing kisses kinda guy!!!!! Be a gentleman while we are in public and when we are inside well YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS be the sexy beast he is just let all that 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 out on me babaaayyyy!!!!! Yep i just described my hubby's green flags hahaha 🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰🥰 i yuv him.

Iyland Gyal

Nonsexual intimacy: my main love language is physical touch (but i dont like to be touched by everybody). Things like holding hands, arm around your shoulder, sitting/standing close, snuggling on the couch or sleeping. Little things that say I want you that isnt always leading to sex. Asking for a kiss: it's one of the cutest, sweetest, simplest things. Like he's desperate to do it but doesn't want to ruin the moment. And not just for the first kiss. Bonus points if he's usually the cool/suave guy and he gets nervous. When he keeps his cool and doesn't need to out "macho" the next guy challenging him.

Iyland Gyal

Racism is never a green flag 😒 weird

Shellbelle

Big green flag: speaks kindly about his friends and family when they aren't around.

Doña Yayi

Oooohhh and another one i left out!!!! When you come home super tired after work and he takes care of you right away!!! Dinner is already cooked. He has your favorite drink ready. He has the table prepared and he has a very nice and lovely dinner with you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 . Only red flag is that after dinner sometimes he gets up and doesnt wash his dish lol is ok i do it for him lol 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ it doesnt happen everyday!!!! My hubbys other green flag and a tiny red flag lol

Pam 701

Really listening to what you’re saying without interrupting or judging. Also, REMEMBERING at least some of the things you’ve mentioned about your likes/dislikes.

MossIsCoolToo

I respect people who are honest about their opinions, but tactful enough to know when not to share them. Also, people who are kind to children and respectful to servers and customer service folks. It's also a huge green flag to me when someone has multiple hobbies and passions that they can engage with and talk about (preferably at length, I love to listen to people infodump)

Roamin’ Rabbit

Emotional intelligence and secure attachment. If you can tell me how you feel and can regulate your emotions in an appropriate way and don’t self sabotage relationships when it feels “too much” then that is attractive. Avoidant and anxious attached people irritate me when they aren’t trying to work on themselves

Cynicl68

There are people in his life he’s been friends with for years—demonstrating his comfort with connection and the ability to do the work to maintain long-term relationships.

MwaliTatu

When he is a strong, positive role model for the kids in his life. Like, totally in his element as the *fun Uncle*/parent, but also knows how to calmly regain control of a roomful of kids going nuts: backing me up when it's time to clean up, stop running, quiet down, etc. *without* making it seem like I'm mean/ a buzzkill. Encouraging the good behavior in fun ways, not just with threat of punishment.

Tiger Baby

A valuable green flag I always look for in someone is curiosity When I encounter a person who is genuinely curious, it truly resonates with me. Their eagerness to learn, explore, and understand the world around them—along with the people in their lives—is something I find incredibly appealing. For example Curiosity often leads to a sense of adventure, and I enjoy being with someone who is spontaneous and open to trying new activities. Whether it's traveling to new places, tasting different cuisines, or picking up new hobb.

IsobelDeLassere

Empathy should be the bare minimum, but it's not. Emphasis on empathy.

Jazmin Robbins

My love language is quality time. So for me the biggest green flag is someone who is willing to make time for me. I'm not saying dropping everything every time I need something, (although that would be nice) but if we make plans to do something, actually commit to it. I've talked with so many guys where we'll make plans, and day of they either cancel or ghost me until the next time they want something. It's so frustrating, especially when I take time off work to do these plans with you, just for you to turn around and cancel on me. If I make time for you, make time for me

Chiara

1. When he actually says hello to me and not just dissmissively greets me. 2. If he has a special interest he could go on for hours and talks about passionately. 3. Respectful towards anyone he meets and no rude comments behind the backs of people. 3. No superiority complex. Down to earth but proud of what he had achieved himself. He has the kind of self conviedence that's easy to be around. 4. Gives me the feeling of always having my back and making me a priority of his. 5. Beeing able to accept help when I try to help. 6. Some kind of nerd...plus points if he was misunderstood for the most part of his life. 7. Trust both ways. If he can't trust me I can't feel safe around him. Especially if I didn't give him a reason to doubt me. 8. If he can make me laugh. (I have an unconvential kind of humor) 9. Warm hands, a warm smile and a velvety soft voice at the right times but a firm pleasant one the rest of the time. 10. He can take the lead and can try to feel what I need. (I know that's a bit over the top but that would be my ultimate phantasy. Tbh I felt it with our va's here a numerous of times.)

cypress9

Strong/brave enough to show their vulnerability .

Isabel

1. He smiles when he sees me, and is happy, not like other guys and their bitter attitude 2. He tells me to find a seat I like and he goes and orders food/drinks 3. Not overdoing it in texting, more chatty IRL 3. Laughs at my jokes, and builds on it trying to make me laugh too 3. He has a safe presence, meaning I feel like I can be myself and make a fool out of myself and he likes it

Miss Dill

1. Thoughtfulness: thinks about others’ needs before his own, whether it’s his partner’s, his family’s, his coworkers, etc. 2. Self-control: I love that the extent of my husband showing he’s upset with me is calling me “sweetheart” when he’s making his argument/point. 😅 3. Humor: after almost 20 years together, still makes me laugh out loud at least once a day. Sexiest thing ever. 4. Honest but delivers it with kindness and compassion. His job is tough and involves giving some tough feedback or news—but his coworkers all love him. 5. Quietly affectionate. Casual touch, a little smile, and never leaving home or going to bed without giving me a kiss. Adds up more than big gestures. 6. Is my safe space. I know no matter what, he has my back. 7. Decisive: knows what he wants and lets you know. After dating guys who ghosted me or wouldn’t commit, having someone who let me know I’m the one he wanted was 🥵 8. Open communicator. Not defensive, not accusing just let’s figure this out if there’s a problem. 9. Supportive. More than happy when I succeed career or other passion project-wise. Gives me time and space to excel. 10. An equal partner—and he treats me like one too.

Isabel

yess!!

Miss Shree

That person is listening to me not just pretend to understand 😭

Isabel

the guy im dating is exactly like this!!

PossumQueen

It's small. When he gets up to get himself something he always asks me if I would like something. He will make me a tea, get me some fruit or a blanket. He will do it sometimes just because he sees me and it occurs to him that there might be something I need.

Valencia Like the Orange

Generosity, humility, curiosity, and kindness towards everybody, not just me or loved ones

Melody Addams

what an absolutely repulsive statement 🤮

Sage

Integrity. Someone who walks their talk, stays true to their principles, and conducts themselves with honesty and transparency. When I see integrity in action, it gives me confidence in that person's judgment, reliability, and character.

CutieConCon

Someone who lets me get mad and is there to calm my tantrums.

Lana

Let people in during a traffic jam

Lana

Doesn’t mind if I send paragraphs in text and sends paragraphs back

WATER

Never raise their voice to me no matter what

sunshinedal

not afraid to cry or show emotion in a positive way

Call Me Good Girl

A major green flag for me is when someone can separate their emotions from my own. My husband and I have been grieving the loss of our elderly cat and I've been looking at cats up for adoption. I'm still sad at her loss, but also excited that we have room to rescue another cat. He caught me looking at adoption places and rather than yelling at me about moving on too quickly, or shaming me, he just expressed that he doesn't understand how that helps right now. He expressed that we are both just grieving differently and that was such a relief.

dyl

Matches the energy in the conversation, whether it be over text, phone call, or in person.

TeeH

definitely how my guy loves on my dog and isn't annoyed with his presence.

J ☆

So sorry to hear about your kitty :( 💔

Violette Frye

Being kind and understanding of swamped wait staff at restaurants

Mui

I always pay attention to how they treat the women in their family, and also the “insignificant” people in their lives. For example - cashiers, servers at a restaurant, pedestrians, etc etc. if they’re respectful to strangers and have healthy relationships with their moms and sisters, that’s a big green flag to me. In my experience, if they treat their mom, sisters and/or insignificant people in their lives with no respect (for no rational reason), they’ll treat you the same way one day.

Chloe Auclair

One time, I was walking at a cross walk with one of my guy friends and I continued walking until he put his arm out in front of me so quickly pushing me back. 2 seconds later a biker like flew by us. Such a small thing but the fact that he just had that instinct to protect me without even fully looking at me was so hot. I love when men are instinctually protective of their women. 🥰

Ruby

So my partner and I were having a conversation with few people and I was saying something while someone cut me off. He IMMEDIATELY turned his entire body towards me and asked what I was going to say. Everyone’s attention shifted to me and I got to finish my point. So thankful for him🫶🏻

Miss Dill

Agreed. My husband and bff always switch places with me when we walk so they’re on the street side. It’s small but it lets you know they’re thinking of you. Makes me melt every time.

Ruby

I’m glad someone said it. I have seen a lot of women be so possessive about their men that when he opens/holds the door for other woman, help carry bags or does something that’s basic chivalry, it’s the end of the world. I’m totally a girls’ girl so if I see a woman struggling and my partner is able to help, I’m definitely throwing him under the bus and be like “go help her until she is done”.

Ruby

I used to joke with my friend that if she wanted to test men, put them in a room with 3 dogs: golden retriever, husky and German shepherd. Golden retriever wants constant attention, husky gives attitude and German Shepard is protective/possessive. So, if a guy can handle those, he could handle my friend 😂 We tested that theory and she is engaged now 🤣 happily ever after 💞

Ruby

So much childhood PTSD is involved in this sadly 💔

chowchow

1. Emotional support cable box 2. Life long learner. Equivalency to a Swiss Army knife because they know enough about different things that they can fix or diagnose almost anything. 3. Self-worth and quiet confidence 4. Open to sharing knowledge and having the patience to teach. And doing it in a way that sparks curiosity instead of discouragement 5. Thoughtfulness when they upgrade or improve things with a ‘for us’ mentality. Example: Setting up a geofence to detect when I leave work, so that in the winter I walk into a warm house.

Ruby

I had a car incident like that where he pushed the breaks little too hard and his right hand immediately went to my front

omom

Always pays attention to me in a group 😭and pick up what i was saying before getting cut off

Janiya Roberson

Listens to you when you’re venting and gives feedback

omom

This is probably rare But READing. As a hobby. As a habbit. Regularly. And i mean real books.

Lav

How hygienic they are

Aubrey Sartoris

When they know what you like and don't like cuz they LISTEN 🤌🏼🤌🏼

Zykire

When me and my fiance are talking, if we happen to say something at the same time, he always lets me say what I wanted to first because he knows Ill pay so much attention to him that Ill forget what I end up saying It seems dorky on the outside, but with memory issues, hes the only one who acknowledged what I struggle with and genuinely help/support me through it

zidgelT

Can't even count the number of guys who have left me with the responsibility of carrying on a text conversation. I was the only one asking questions, telling stories, etc (while they either answered my questions without returning any, or straight up gave one-word replies to my comments) until I just gave up. So. Many. Times. So anyone who can put in as much effort as me into a convo is an immediate green flag.

zidgelT

Love that for you! <3

scoreytorey

as a certified sapiosexual, a man who can teach me things (without making me feel stupid) is one of the biggest green flags (and turn-ons) for me 😩🙏🏼

Ellixpress

Willingness to be wrong. Even welcoming when someone tells them they've erred because they view it as a learning experience and chance to become a better person. Treating homeless people and others our society looks down on or considers inconvenient with kindness and respect. Calls others out, even those very close to him, when they're doing or saying something hurtful. Speaking up for what's right even when it's not convenient.

scoreytorey

most of these are probably bare-minimum to a lot of people but: - being kind to animals - making an effort to get to know my friends and make them feel comfortable!! - someone who likes learning - MANNERS. being kind to waitstaff! - letting me be my own person while we’re in a relationship (i’m a big lover, but i’ll always need a little freedom at heart)

Rachel Tipaldi

Girl, for real. Humility is SUCH a fucking turn-on.

K. Black

How he treats strangers, emotionally available, emotionally intelligent, funny

Mexchick03

Agree. Manners are important

Inara Moore

I've been married for 20+ years and communication is a big green flag. Even if we argue we stop before we say something we can't take back regroup and talk it out. I love talking to him. Plus a little bit of a goof, laughter keeps us young.

hhhhhh:0

He may don’t know what I’m talking about but he shows me patience and respect

somethingnexttonormal

*cries in adhd* :'-) seriously though—it may seem little, but that is so! sweet! a lot of people just don’t understand how much of a struggle that kind of thing can be, or how hard it can make everyday conversations (esp heated/passionate ones)!

Uri

Worldly-wise but not jaded, clever yet sincere.

Ellerose

Voluntarily cleaning up. After a party, after dinner, anyone is down to make a mess, few are down to clean up the aftermath.

Dhwani Shah

How they treat customer service workers

somethingnexttonormal

he has an older sister, lol. not technically anything HE did, but i swear i can feel the difference between guys that do and guys that don’t *bonus points if they’re still friends in adulthood/have a good relationship with them

somethingnexttonormal

king shit also is it bad that i do this to my camp kids sometimes lol 🙃 like, will 100% plaster on my sweetest smile and hit em with that “SO sorry little Bobbie, could you say that again, bud? COULDN’T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE NOISE” 😁👀

babie stay

Being good with cats!! I will literally die on this hill. Cats aren’t usually as mean and aloof as they’re stereotyped to be (unless they’ve been mistreated in the past), they just have firm boundaries that you actually have to identify and RESPECT in order to get along with them. If a man can win over a cat’s heart by learning and respecting its boundaries, that’s a huge green flag! Because then he’s way more likely to also learn and respect YOUR boundaries in a relationship

Rachel Tipaldi

1. I do tend to like a dry, self-depracting sarcastic sense of humor in a guy the most. That said, he's gotta love my raunchy and silly and ridiculous self. I am easily amused and snort when I laugh raucously. 2. Humility is huge. There's a distinct lack of arrogance and self-righteousness in that. Are you intelligent? You better be to catch my notice. Am I intelligent? Yes. And yet, we are not superior to the other, but seek to learn together and gladly teach each other new things. 3. Cat dad, 100%. Because they understand. My spirit animal is a cat, and they must know and understand and accept that. I am 1,000% devoted to you, but some days I'm going to be aloof and lost inside my head... and just fuckin' moody. Doesn't mean I don't want you there to cuddle me when I crawl out of my thoughts and smother you with love. 4. How they treat public service workers, little kids, the elderly, and their mothers. 5. I better not EVER have to silence myself in regards to my period. If you're grossed out or squeamish, it ends now. 6. There are no traditional roles in this relationship. We cook, clean, repair, brainstorm, and carry the burden of responsibility together, equally. Let's make dinner together; I'm doing this and your doing that, and there's music playing and conversation is flowing, and flirting is happening, and then sex against the counter right before we devour the DELICIOUS meal we created together. Mm mm mmmm. 7. Be secure in your masculinity and my feminity. Tears and emotional vulnerability are totally okay. We support each other, 1,000%, with no judgement. 8. And, yeah, the voice? That definitely factors into the whole. The deep, dark, warm, soothing baritones... It just makes me feel wrapped up and safe and secure. Plus, it's delicious when he calls me his "good girl". *shivers*

Ruby_Lupine

Let's see. Healthy and proper communication, owning up to his mistakes, great with kids (I have one), asking what he can do for me, positive video game player/willing to play video games with me OR willing to watch and listen as I ramble about my favorites, great listener in general

maladaptive_delulu

A healthy relationship with his mother. He should treat her with respect and kindness while still being an independent adult.

Goober

1. Someone who's practical when it comes to daily life 2. Chill but firm, not necessarily go with the flow, but not overly upright either. 3. Good with animals, respectful with people. Both are very good for gauging them as a person. 4. Open to criticism without getting defensive (constructive criticism, anyway). 5. Upfront with boundaries, we're adults and shouldn't have to play the "I don't like/feel comfortable with this but won't tell you" game. 6. Not being afraid of affection, both showing and receiving it. It's not a bad thing to be more reserved, but it's another thing entirely to be completely unavailable emotionally.

maddie ?

consent to unleash (dom/sub bdsm vibes) acotar for inspo

GraceSkyyRomance

Definitely when they dont want you opening any doors lol

Mrs.Ronbinson😉

- treats people the same regardless of status - has interests and friends outside the relationship - listens without planning his response - follows through on small promises And many moreeeee

Ruby

I think this is the green flag in a person. Not just romantic interests but in general. I’m so happy to hear that you do this for the kids. Gotta teach them young😅

Luzie

That he listens when I bring up a concern, without interrupting me, and tries to understand my point of view. Ideally he's then conscious of it in the future and works on it.

Luzie

perfekt answer. I agree to all of it.

Luzie

so true

Bonnibelle

Absolutely! I've said for years that any man who says he hates or dislikes cats can't be trusted. Cats are an exercise in boundaries, as you pointed out. If they're that resentful of a furry little creature that has boundaries, just imagine what they're like when people do. No, thank you.

Elena.Bobena

How people treat you when they're angry is important. I guess the kind of communication when momentarily out of control and WHAT is said is key.

Babybeatrice

The biggest green flag I'm probably looking for is : accepting when you aren't in the mood. No disappointment, angry or annoyed glances. Just acceptance and offering to do something else instead. Also accepting that I might not want children? Like don't tell me to bend and that sacrifices have to be made. There are countless children in the world. And that if I want a child, I want it to be adopted. Yk, just already give existing children a new better home and life. Oh and also another big green flag: not going to bed angry. Even if we argue, let's let the night be peaceful. No one should sleep with a godawful gut feeling

Honey Bun

Romantic: -“sit down and let me handle it” and then he does it competently! And I truly don’t have to worry about anything. Sexual: -Vocal!!! And isn’t afraid to talk me through it 🤤 Practical: -Treats waiters and other customer service staff with respect

LittleFox

When he’s serious about healing/improving mentally and emotionally on a continuous basis, and it shows. 🙂

Thora

Shares the same dark humor and accepts AND supports me in regards to my chronic illness.

Eden

likes cats (a healthy amount tho) gets along with mom (a healthy amount) open to kinks and communication <3 love a Pokémon & anime boy, they usually sweet & sometimes lowkey big👀

kitykat_ 14

Communication, in tune with emotions, mutual respect, humor, passionate

Kespien

Dosent complain about other women / nonstop talking about ex, or past relationships all of the time / comparing

tiffany

If they're kind to animals and/or if animals like them.

The Rose 🥀

When they make you their first option without asking any little silly things remind them of you (I’ve never been so it almost the only thing I look for I guess)

Fleur Pouvior

Puts away the phone when together and lives in the moment. Not talking with me while texting friends, or watching YouTube videos, but having a conversation and being enough for eachother.

ayrrielleee

Communication! pays attention to what you like: plans a date based off those things. The voice: deep ,raspy, dirty talk but not necessarily degrading. Hardworking, caring

lucky

he cleans his butt 🙏👹

Mio

Emotional stable and good communication Always respect the boundaries of self space And including us in future planning (discuss together but not informed by him)

Anastasia

Gets along with his mom…but not like emeshment or dependency, just like genuinely likes her Owns books and some that you’d think are interesting His place doesn’t look like a college dorm if he is over 25 Treats waitstaff well Doesn’t show jealousy or try to start fights when out (but will back you up when needed) Doesn’t shower you with expensive gifts but when a gift is given it is so thoughtful (I saw this and remembered you said you went to see this band in high school - that kind of thing). Or the compliments are specific, not just “you have nice eyes.” Can do basic grown up things like laundry and cooking and doesn’t need to be badgered about it

ivy

Someone who helps stray animals and people in need, and handles problems with emotional stability and maturity.

Anastasia

Yes like he’s a gentlemen until you say go..than he is out of control!

IO

A green flag for me? Someone who doesn’t just say the right things but actually lives them. Charisma and eloquence can be seductive…and sometimes even manipulative…but when someone consistently reflects their values through action, not just words, that’s a rare kind of integrity. The embodiment of true and grounded ideals? That’s a damn fine green flag in my book.

BluGrace

They don’t demean their Exes. Doesn’t bring them up readily, but if you ask them about it or it comes up some way they are respectful and honest about who they were. Hopefully accepts some responsibility for why things ended, but at least don’t be a jerk and say they were all nuts or play the victim. One or two, okay that’s acceptable. Sometimes there is a genuinely crazy ex, but if it’s every one then that’s a bad sign.

Lara Van Wolfe ✨🐺✨

They way he treats his Mother / Sisters or women in general. Will tell me everything I need to know. Period. Also… EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅ ✅

Keiley Sewell

I’ve only ever dated one person and we are about to get married but the biggest green flag is how much he cares for example I had heart surgery so he made thanksgiving dinner for my entire family and his he also has all of my fast food orders memorized

P

I’ve been with my husband for 23 years, so… but what I love about him is just being there when shit hits the fan. And that he is proud of my accomplishments and I still can tell him I feel small and he cuddles me until I feel grown up enough to handle the world. Also he knows I listen to and read smut and just loves the results :D He is self-assured enough that he doesn’t feel threatened, he just likes it when I get new ideas. When I look at younger people dating, I feel also that “green flags” are somehow to cerebral (coming from a huge nerd). My advice to younger people would be to look for someone around whom you feel you can be yourself and you like the version of you that you become with him.

Miss Dill

💯 I saw how much my husband cares about his mom and younger sisters and fell harder. Even more so when he proved he could set healthy boundaries between us and them once we were married 😉

StingRose

How they are with animals/how they attract animals to them. Huge green flag.

CourtCourt

So many things but how my partner treats service workers will always be at the top.

Jui Paranjape

People should talk more about this and how comforting it is...it's how someone remembers the tiny details about you...your favourite snack, or how you like your coffee or even probably something you might have said randomly a while ago...paying attention to the small things..for me that's a whole green forest! 🌲🌳🌴🤌🏻❤️

Red

It may seem basic, but: being on time ⌚ It's a sign of respect and a minimum level of organization. Of course, unexpected things can happen, but if it happens too often, I feel like the person doesn't respect my time and that's a no-go.

N

a healthy enfj guy

J.

"He's proud to introduce me to his family and friends and so am I."

morve

If he notices my small niches. If i said I liked a oddly specific character and he gets me something that resembles like a keychain or something. I just feel so loved because I feel so seen

JJ

Wants to know my small details, kind to me even if we're fighting or angry.

lk2mvit

No judgements. Freedom to do all the silly little things someone else might roll their eyes at you for.

adamsgirl

He feeds me. a man who makes sure I am fed and taken care of is hot AF

Bug 🐞

He is safe to express your emotions, when you need to cry, they don’t get awkward or say don’t cry. They hug you to cry and calm down.

Bug 🐞

There is no confusion with him. Everything is transparent. Their plan, their emotions.

Rosie

Kind to others (mostly animals) and they have to be direct with what they say and do.

Murjani— BKS Moderator

Physical touch— it can be the little things like causally touching your shoulder, your hair, hand on your lower back. Also recognizing when you’re nervous or anxious and immediately moving to do or say the things he knows that will calm you.

Maria

When they know what they want to do in their life like career wise and that they are family oriented

Cat34

Accountability. Kindness. Open communicator. Trust. Good with animals. Curious about others

Ariane

To me is communication. I had a relationship once where my ex was very guarded and did not talk to me when there was something bothering them, and when i tried to get in he would go straight to sex as a scape route. It got to a point that even I got scared to speak about troubles and little by little we were distancing ourselves 🥲

Evie

When you are upset even when it is with them that they don't become defensive and take it personally and actually listen to you. Open to understanding you even when it's not how they operate. Picking up on cues and knowing what you may need before you even realize it. Asking instead of assuming. Check ins are hot. Openess to try new things and join u whether its new food or activity. I feel for my friends who tell me their husbands refuse to eat or do what they like with them

Ravey

Oh lord the nightmare stories and reels or Tiktoks of some men justifying their skidmarks or that story of a guy who just stood up without wiping because he said touching a male butt is "gay" 🤮🤮🤮 ewww

Katcee

Honesty - even if it hurts. Gently if it needs to be. But no hiding.

Ceva

How they treats waiters or any other person working in the service industry. Good people respect others.

Mab

I could type out all the obvious ones, like not being a dick to waiters, a rapport with animals, wanting all sexual contact to be fully consensual etc., but that might be a bit repetitive of previous comments. So I’m going beyond awarding green flags for meeting minimum standards for a decent human being and listing a few more specific ones that would melt my underwear: 1. This is an extension of ‘rapport with animals’, but with a bit of personal context: putting in the effort to build a relationship with my dog, and recognising that he’s awesome even during the early days when he’s giving you the side-eye and barking at you because he perceives you as competition for my attention. I hand-reared him from a puppy and he’s very much my baby, but he’s hilarious and if you can’t see that, I worry for your sanity. Also, don’t be offended if my parrot tells you to fuck off. I mean, c’mon, has that happened to you before on a visit to a woman’s house? Exactly. Now you have an anecdote to tell. 2. Wanting to pay for things like coffee or dinner on our dates. Not in the sense that if a woman wants to pay her own way you’ll throw a tantrum about being ‘emasculated’, and not as a down payment for getting the end to the date that you want; just liking to treat me to little things (I’m not talking a day trip to Paris here) if I’m okay with that (I am, and I appreciate it). 3. Being spiritual without being pretentious or fluttery about it. 4. Wanting to show affection and make contact (holding hands, an arm around me, a hand on my waist etc.) beyond the first rush of a new relationship. Being willing to show affection in public, including in front of your friends. 5. Being attuned to my kinks. Of course I don’t expect you to be a mind-reader, and healthy negotiation requires us both to be willing to be direct about what we like, but I don’t think that an empathetic, perceptive man with kinks compatible with mine could honestly look at me and talk to me and not get an inkling about what I am, and some careful, respectful broaching of that would be so hot as a first step.

DivineCruzader 💜💫

Just be that type of person who's kind to others and does not brag about literally everything he owns. Lover of animals of course! Communication, loyalty, honesty and trust is also important and mutual respect between both parties is also great, a good example of this is the Second Chance, Sweetheart audio. Because I went through the same situation where I asked my ex-boyfriend to keep our relationship quiet because I wanted to be sure it's something I want but he went against what I said and told everyone so, trust and respect is a green flag for me.

Otoumi

I think if he is able to see when something is making me uncomfortable and upset and then decides to fix it or help me instead of just ignoring it.

Krissi Faechild

For me self care and self worth can be difficult at times so it’s them realising I’m struggling and reminding me it’s okay not to be okay and not to smile just to make other people feel better. Bonus points for hugs and head pats when I inevitably end up crying.

Enola

For me, one of the most important green flags in a man is that he understands me. Not necessarily that he agrees with me, but that he understands my resentment towards certain things. If he can reassure me about other things too, that's a bonus point 🤭🤭

J@d3d

Emotional intelligence and control. Someone who can work well with their hands. He needs to have ambition towards something and actively working to accomplish it

Kirsten Grotegut

Thoughtful Man, which didn't only care for themselves. The little gestures like holding the Door open for your Woman, holding Hands, cuddling up on the Couch, tender Smacks on our butt when he walked by, a lot of kisses over the Day, being a Gentleman. Comforting your Woman when she's sick or simply tired and overwhelmed. Knows how to do chores in the Household. Like our wonderfull Men on BKS, ooohhh Mr. Chambers... 🥵❤️

windy

Someone who can laugh at themselves.

Trinity

A green flag? Supportive! I’m engaged to a great guy and he loves helping me with my cosplays and I even inspired him to learn how to sew!

oruga

Hmm.. As someone who's quite shy, it's a green flag for me if he's someone whom I feel comfortable around with to come out of my shell– like no holds barred, me being myself without thinking about what other people would say to me.

JT

A good sense of humor is a big one for me. I can't be the only person laughing at my jokes anymore 😅 kidding. But musicians are also hot - bonus points for drummers. I play acoustic and bass guitar, so musicians are always fun to talk to and... play with 😉

Rotty

Caring, patient and encourange. I am really ez to feel upset and want to give up quickly, need someone to push me a bit, try it again to challenge myself

Birdybell

Someone who's willing to say "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" sincerely. That might seem like a small thing, but I've seen what happens when you don't say those things enough or just buy stuff as an apology.

Erika Approved

My top 5 green flags 1. Good relationship with his mother and sisters (if they exist) 2. Eye Contact 3. An open posture (his body is open and facing me) with an easy protective stance. (If he instinctively positions himself between me and any potential risk) 4. Loves animals 5. Self sufficient

Sakuna Yujii

Dilf 👀 Especially when they wanted a girl, because maaan, you really get ready to learn about all the problèmes to be a woman by having a girl. For me it's like réassurance, and well i dont want to have a child on my own so...

I’mGoingLikeElsie

Sets boundaries with family, aka not a Mama’s Boy™ (derogatory) See also: cat dad.

TheRealDeal92

I read some comments that I completely agree with. One major Example: Setting boundaries with family especially the mama’s boys. To those mamas, Your son is not a little boy forever nor your husband! Here are green flags for me. Supports your dreams no matter how small. You wanna be a photographer or a writer, he supports you through and through. He helps whenever he can with photo shoots. He does not interrupt your writing process. He’ll get the cup of coffee or tea, your favorite snacks or meals to have while writing, fold the laundry or walk the dog. Then reads your writing work and gives good/honest feedback to help further your dreams. He may not like pets as much as you do but he loves them because he knows how much your cat/cats, dog/dogs, horse/horses mean to you. They are a key to your heart; almost like they are your kids if you have no actual children of your own. He likes to go out on an adventure rather than just stay inside all the time playing video games. I’m all for a movie/tv show binge , board/card games and some cuddles at times. However a small road-trip to go on a hike with a gorgeous view at the end with some good food definitely makes it feel good.

Yume

Genuine sincerity — the kind you can feel in your bones. Emotionally stable, yet brave enough to show vulnerability around me. A partner who values mutual trust and proactively guides us through challenges.

Luna

I keep taking notes here.✍🏻

Ellen Otter

It's so hard to think clearly on this, so many thoughts it's difficult to prioritise. But someone who is willing to share the load with you, happy to make your life easier, makes you a priority. That would be what I would look for in a partner, that would be my green flag.

Christine

Listening without interrupting…a willingness to help out if they see you’re overwhelmed without having to nag them…knowing how to talk you down from whatever is swirling in your brain…knowing that it’s ok to be quiet together without having to talk to “fill the space”…just knowing you and accepting you.

Mikki_R

Treats service workers with respect.

Ximena 16

Treats his Mother and Sister with respecto.

GrumpyGrape

Willing and earnest about communication and boundaries. My fiancée has never made me feel bad for having boundaries and they are quick to sit with me and talk something out before it can evolve into a fight.

I need gentle big men

Gentle with me. Respects my boundaries and personal needs, as someone who’s been used and emotionally manipulated I sometimes think I won’t find the right one, ever.

may

Eye contact to reassure me

Iora Rua

How they speak about their past, their exes and how they treat animals.

Calypso

follow through, honesty (obviously), and consistency - just to name a few

Michele V Taylor

Someone who respects me and my boundaries, and has no problem listening to me. I have an extremely stressful job so being able to talk about it without him trying to "fix things" is great

Eys

Someone who sees the simplest "princess treatment" as the bare minimum it should be

Ximena 16

It sound crazy but if he goes to therapy. Because that shows he cares about personal growth and self-care

Amber Phillips

Is passionate about their interests but will listen to you talk about yours as well

Amber Phillips

Also physical touch in public nothing crazy, I've had exs before who were very anti pa,

S.K

Someone who just by looking at you knows if something is right or wrong and helps by listenning not fixing, is not afraid to stand up for people he loves, has a hobby they are passionate about, treats his parents and sisters with respect, respects personal boundaries, loves animals, helps others without expectations, is self sufficient and shares all their ups and downs so we can grow together.

JustB

Showing kindness, respect and patience to any living being. Getting along well with my children... There are more green flags but these two are very important to me.

Nova

I like space, so someone who respects my time to do my own hobbies. Even doing something parallel to me and checking in every so often. Then you can come together later and do something. Comfortable silence is golden. Act of Service is great too. Like "I've noticed or picked up you love this so I got this for you". Makes you feel seen like nothing else

Felicity

Someone who can do silly things, and can have deep conversations, who shows respect and care, who can stand and hold me when emotions are overwhelming me, calm, peacefull and kind, taking accountability, who can share his vulnerabilities, who's willing to protect his loved ones, who can simply enjoy the moment (here and now) and explore the sensuality... Slowly... Or not...

Bumby Ravenswood

When he texts you cute memes that made him think of you. My partner knows I like hamsters so sends me hamster pics or drawings with cute sayings through out the day.

babie stay

YESS!!! 10000% agree, I’ve got that same philosophy, I don’t trust ANYONE man or woman or whoever if they have something against cats. Like the only possible excuse would be if they have a phobia of cats or just had a really bad experience with a cat in the past, but even then it still doesn’t mean they have to DESPISE every cat

August Evermore

Green flag: If he can say something good about Taylor Swift without being prompted. I’m paying attention to how he speaks about women.

August Evermore

It doesn’t have to be T Swiz, but i’ve found she tends to be a good litmus test.

Eris

Nice to wait staff and customer service agents.

Kklip

Communication, love, consistency, respect and adaptability. It's the little things he does or shows around people and with me. How he is consistent with himself and the things he loves. How he handles and adapts to difficult situations. It could be him remembering to order ice with my water or how he shows his love to his family and friends. The company that he keeps as well.

GamerGal8684

Someone who is willing to listen and not just hear. Though…gravely deep voices is a very green light too ;)

Amanda

I am sorry, but I can't get over the Grey's Anatomy scene that was used for the post... I love that show..

Nanibell

When he makes me not afraid to cry around him, I silent cry (no audible sobs or sounds and I usually try to look away or hide so no one notices) mostly from not fun childhood experiences. I always feel like crying is gonna get me in some kind of trouble or someone’s gonna yell at me so if he makes me feel safe enough to just feel my feelings it’s such a green flag

UrSoPrettyDarling

When someone corrects someone negative thinking. Example: "y/n:ugh why cant my friend stop coming to me everytime theyre depressed, its annoying. Them: they must trust you alot to vocalize how they're feeling.. I know you love them and they obviously love you back, maybe just gently tell them theyre overwhelming you, but that'd you'd still like to help/ listen to them, set boundaries or having asking for permission to vent a comment thing to do instead of them or you dumping negatives on eachother outta the blue so much." All while being expressed in a soft, calm tone btw. Take me. Take me Neoooww. I LOVE this kind of mindset and intellect.😩😩😩😩

Rose

I agree! ❤️ The feelings worsen when someone says to stop crying even if they mean well. I personally feel better when someone allows me to cry, whether by being there for me or asking me if I need to be alone. So many of us are forced to keep our feelings in for the sake of others, which can make us feel invisible or unimportant. If they're truly our safe space, they won't shrink away from our tears or real emotions.

Rose

Yes! It's even better when someone accommodates your needs when you tell them directly or indirectly, WITHOUT NEEDING TO REPEAT OURSELVES. They heard us the first time so they know what to do or say without "needing to be nagged" like so many men...

Rose

Being kind to people and animals are non-negotiable. 👍 As soon as anyone says, "Theyre just animals ," I'm out.

Kelsey

Definitely a sense of humor/quick wit. I genuinely believe people who can’t be funny are stupid and I can’t doom myself to a future with a stupid unfunny man. The way I immediately give up on someone who demonstrates a lack of humor or even just the ability to hold a conversation. I was talking to someone about something I’m very passionate about, bringing creativity back into education, and this man said “I don’t like any creativity. I don’t know what you want me to say.” 💀 bro what? So also add- shows interest and understanding about your passions and hobbies even if they don’t enjoy them themselves.

Rose

It is such a flex when someone is genuinely beloved by the staff at an establishment. It's not always about how much they tip but how they are kind to the staff.

Rose

This is so attractive!

Courtnee Hudson

I like when he’s patient with me. I can be really hard on myself sometimes and it makes me overly self-conscious . Patience helps me to remember it’s okay to relax and be myself even if I might be annoying to others.

Rose

I feel safe around men that are comfortable and respectful around LGBT+ and women with strong personalities. It's a reflection of their confidence, compassion, education, and sense of identity (whatever their sexuality may be).

wherefoglingers

When he’s patient with me… when he’s kind, truly kind — not performative — but the kind that makes me feel safe. When he lets me speak without rushing, without interrupting, without making me feel small. When he truly listens — like my words really matter. And most of all, when he embraces all the parts of me, even the weird, awkward, overthinking ones… without flinching, without judgment… parts that my own kin disregarded .. the parts I was told were too much, too strange, too sensitive.

Ravey

Gomez Addams. The character of Gomez Addams is green flags everywhere. So if he says that Gomez is one of his influences, that's perfect 👌

Fallen Angel

When he looks into my eyes, showing real interest in me and the willingness to find out what I like, what I need - and when he answers to it, making me feel safe and taken cared of with him. Thank you so much BKS for that positive question!

Hana SashaK Bliss

1. When your special someone really cares your feelings and thought and acknowledges it. It's not much of a grand gesture but it makes soo much difference in one's life. 2. You feels yourself special especially about your body insecurity because you know your special someone is always there to make you feel happy

PsychoKitty

They’re observant. Like if my hair is down but want it up but didn’t bring a hair tire he’ll know to bring some or already have one u know!!

Zuzu

Provider mindset

Bear

When he can talk about periods, buy the products and clean any mess without reacting to it any differently than spilled milk

ISing4U

Sincere caring and respect for others. The way he talks to strangers and shows them that they matter. The way he talks about his family. He has a soft side toward animals. He can be goofy without being crass.

KloudKitten

Im a hopeless romantic so anybody who is genuinely interested in me is a start. I want someone who cares about me just as much as I would with them. I want them to claim me, for once I want to be their first pick not the last. Gotta love animals and I find humor to be a green flag. Love someone who can really listen and have patience. Someone who can get me small gifts like my favorite candy as a way of thinking of me. It’s the smallest things that make my heart flutter

Nix

He's not intimidated by an intelligent woman. A sapiosexual, basically.

ISing4U

If someone drops or spills something he does not hesitate to help clean up.

Dr Dre

They rap fast

Snickerxp

When they talk about the future and their plans always include you. 💕

BellaBee

Consideration, specifically curated gifts. True deep cuts that show they actually care about what I say and actually remember what's important to me. Spending quality time with me. Treating my pleasure as a priority instead of an afterthought

Lili

HELP OMG 😭

Delightful Dysthymia

My #1 green flag is consideration of others. If you treat others with respect as a fellow human being, I instantly get a little more attracted to you. #2 is definitely compassion for animals.

scoreytorey

re-fucking tweet‼️ that, and a willingness to learn FROM me??? woah MAMA 🥵

Brit Ski

If they got out their way help bugs and moths back outside

Sophia Martin

Having special interests (animals, earth, a certain show) and also being really interested in what I’m interested in.

Gazzie

Emotionally intelligent, actively seeking better communication with you, respectful and considerate of others, appreciates wait staff and likes cats.

RealWomanIsWhateverTheHellSheWantsToBe 🙂

Kind, considerate, observant (and subconsciously, effortlessly giving a hand if need be, even when in the middle of a conversation with an individual or a group) and participating 🙂❤️

XXX_SwitchBunny

Somebody whose always ready to fight. I don't mean the guy who takes his shirt off and says, 'let's take it outside.' I mean the man who will usher you behind him when he notices things are getting tense. The man who sees somebody touching you and knocks them out if necessary. The man who would stand between you and your father if it meant keeping you safe.

GabriGon

Optimism. Someone who, when faced with a blockage, instantly thinks of it as a challenge and thinks of a workaround or goes, "I'm sure it's possible." So.... THAT, and someone who adores me...in true zaddy energy 🤣

Pam

#1 greens flag- the first impression before we even speak to each other, is if he’s a smiley person. Not just serious or straight faced. I love a smiley person.

Jai Mei Cee

Kindness is paramount. Not putting on a "nice guy" mask, but genuinely kind. It's something inherent. Can't teach it, can't fake it.

Meghan B

Straight forward honesty, I can't play games trying to figure out what you mean. Just give it to me straight.

kharisma chafshoh

a big green flag for me is someone who respects boundaries and really listens... no judgment, just understanding

Olivia Higdon

Someone who listens and then remembers what you said. They are able to surprise you with your favorites, whether it’s flowers or your favorite treat, or will make the bed because they know it matters to you. They do so without being asked just because it will make you smile. On top of that. Someone who has a sense of humor. We can laugh during sex because let’s face it, sometimes funny things happen.

Bonnie Bunny

Someone who can give me my space when I need it but is able to see it when I say no to comfort but I mean yes as I struggle with pushing people away when I need help

Zaya

-Someone who likes to joke around but can be serious. -knows boundaries but is willing to push them a little when they know it would lead to positive change - protective but not toxically possessive -likes to try new things -sitting in a room together in comfortable silence -Chambers, Gallo, Robinson 😭

Nanibell

The amount of times I’ve had to respond to “stop crying!” with a sobbed out “I’m trying” hurts my own feelings

Tovah

As a handicap person, this is what I need, when it comes to green flags- Someone who respects my mind, body and spirit. Someone kind, gentle, patient and understanding. Someone who can stay calm under pressure and take charge if need be. Someone honest. Someone who remembers all the important little things about you, like your favorite movie or poem. Someone who will accept all of your flaws. Someone who is confident not arrogant. Someone who continues to grow and learn. Someone humble. Someone who will stand with you through every trial and tribulation of life.

Yuri-is-ready❤️

Someone who makes the conscious effort to have me in their life even when they get busy sometimes

Jennifer Luque

Green flags for me. Are A sense of humor., sweetness kindness towards animals and children.

Hannah

Someone who makes me laugh, not just a giggle, I mean on the floor, rolling until my stomach hurts kind of laughter. But I also need someone who listens to me when I'm struggling with my mental health, and someone I can sit next to on the sofa while I'm crafting and he's reading next to me

helen

Someone who pays attention to you and not there phone

Witch_bitch

People who are passionate. Like, one of my favorite things to listen to is someone yapping about something they like- like, for example, my friend recently got me into F1 and taught me some stuff about space

BookMinx

Taking notes because I’m about to give dating a try again (universe send me some patience).