Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

Content

Okay, forget red flags for a second …

What’s a green flag in bed that instantly makes you go, “ohhhh they get it”?

Like…

When they actually ask what you like before going full chaos mode.

When they don’t act like aftercare is optional.

Or when they just straight-up fold your laundry after.

Drop yours below. Let's see if we’re all aligned or if some of you are out here simping over “they opened a window for airflow.”

Files

Comments

Shelby Montague

Asked permission to remove my stuffies off my bed and calls them by their names

superasiangeek

When they put that pillow under your back or when they do check-ins to make sure you’re still cool with it 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Lindsay💋

Communication is always at the very top of the list. It adds a level of comfort everyone needs.

Curvesomemermaid

Continuous consent checks, asking preferences, aftercare and cuddling are mine! Maybe boring but Very Green!

BethanyBug

Everything Mr Chambers does.

Satorusslut~🤍

When they buy you a king mattress to feel more comfortable 😂 (at least for me)

Jonelle Phoenix

When he puts my bonnet on my head after I’m spent from playtime.

Amie

Awwww 😍🥺😍

Blue

Constant check ins during sex

Punzie

Always having condoms ready and prepared and then when the deed is done, they IMMEDIATELY go get a warm wash cloth to clean you up and being hella careful and gentle but still thorough. 😫👌💯❤️

Emmy Little

Comfort, check ins and consent. As someone who has been SA, EA and PA they have become huge green flags and safe havens for me

Shelby Montague

I’ve get a VERY healthy attachment to my stuffy babies

Crystalline

When he makes sure to tell me what I'm doing just right so I can keep doing it.

Anne Pierre-Louis

1- checking in with you before, during and after nightly activities. 2- getting you your favorite food or snacks without being asked.

K H

This right here. Absolutely 💯. As well caring about our experience.

K H

Nah. Love it 🥰

aisawkward

aftercare being a MUST and asking what i'm into not just assuming they know what every person wants in the bedroom

RainbowEmo7

When they talk you through it and are willing to be patient, especially if you're on the shy side

OvalSugar

Not only willing but eager to give oral - in both directions, actually. I adore giving blowjobs but its been an annoying amount of time since I received 😒

Kit

When I had to go to work the next morning, he straight up cleaned my kitchen before leaving for his flight

soft girl

I’ve never had a guy do anything that gave me a green flag

XXX_SwitchBunny

When they really watch you and see where the head nods come from and go, "Yeah?" Then keep doing the thing! 😅 When you're cold or shaking or can't catch your breath after and they take care of you When you're exhausted afterwards and they're not too tired so they wanna play video games or something and ask for your permission first and make sure they're not needed before they leave you to rest When you've had a rough day and you know some good sex will help melt it away, but they don't rush you into it. They let you talk or cry or vent then slowly try to help relax you with kisses, a massage, etc. When they tickle you after so you don't feel used but instead end up feeling cared for

Rue_

Afrercare, but also making sure the person is okay. 🙏

Jamie Cabral

I think my favorite green flag is when they ask how you’re doing or if you like what they’re doing. Especially when they don’t make it awkward when they ask. Things like “you okay baby?” Or “you like that?” Really sell it for me.

Emerald White

For me its wanting touch and intimacy in bed that doesn't need to lead to spice. Sometimes its just to have skin time or butt touch time. 💚

LunarM

Begging is a green flag for me.

Raven

Consent and check in, even during something like punishment

Kreative Keya

Actually doing stuff without even being asked to do so. Or being told. When your partner does stuff that you know needs to be done or that you would like to have done and they just do it without even a second thought. That's a whole green flag for me. Putting your needs before theirs amazing

The Rose 🥀

As a non expert I believe after is the greenest flag in the bedroom or when they make sure whatever they are doing is not bothering you or you consent to it

Pamala

He says to me, 'Tell me what you want me to do to you.' 🫠🤭

Ooki

Being open minded but at the same providing clear, positive communication. Also when they are not afraid to be vocal during intimacy.

QueenLauren_603

I haven't met a green flag guy yet. I keep to myself. Aftercare is a must otherwise I'd just feel used.

Lena

Holding me by my neck backshots in the mirror while whispering in my ear. Spanking, AFTERCARE!!!!!!!!! a little degrading etc

Eden

Check-ins. Not constantly, to the point it seems like your partner doesn't know what they're doing, but just the occasional check to make sure everything is good.

C Swartz

When they are gentle about, “I need a minute to recover before we cuddle, baby.”

Sanna

Soooo sadly I think my bar is too low because I’ve been shown that even the slightest bit of decency is too much to ask. So moaning, eye contact and check-ins is my green flags that I actively look for tho I have so much more I wish was there. Like, I am the only one who has not gotten proper aftercare even tho I’ve asked for it???

Opal

A guy fed me fruit after. Everything else about him was a red flag but that one thi g was nice. Definitely adding it to my aftercare wants

Choco

Just added another level to my standards ☝️☝️

Briya

Unfortunately I've never experienced a green flag in bedroom before.

Sniper

Aftercare, and cuddling after. Before, if asking is there anything I dislike (I would ask the same to them). And if trying something new checking in.

Briya

Great now I'm sad 🥹

CandyGurl🍫

💕When your lover covers your body with theirs and holds space for you in which to be safe💕

C Swartz

Or the “is there anything you want to try in the bedroom that you haven’t before?” Conversation.

Nic

All the things that happen outside the bedroom that make me want to be in the bedroom - the groundwork must be laid.

Red_Witchling

check-ins and believe it or not, being able to laugh when everything...doesnt exactly go to plan.

Ana

Being able to laugh during sexy time cos things happen

Eden

The holy trinity, the Three Cs 🙏

Blog851

Well... Having a shower before. Some back massage also before, my boyfriend does that and i love it. When he is patient with me, but desparete at the same time, You know what i mean? That i can feel the yerning and feel wanted

Lana

Eating me out for THEIR OWN pleasure

Jai Mei Cee

Agree! Being able to have fun together when you're having FUN is crucial!

PhoenixBleu

Asking me what I like before and checking in. I do like a good cuddle after

Miss Dill

Patience and check-ins. When I felt a little overwhelmed during foreplay, he stopped and held me and said I was safe with him and waited until I was ready to keep going. Yup, married him.

Sora

A guy helping a girl take her clothes off (not in an agressive way) like unzipping her dress and kissing her neck at the same time

Eden

That's so cute 😭

CalliopeQueen

Oh my god yes! I didn't even think of that

Maddie Planer

Open communication and mental flexibility. As well as good hygiene and caring for the body

Jai Mei Cee

Join the club, babes! We meet in ...hell, there's no place big enough for all of us! 😋

Jai Mei Cee

The big cuddle is a super green flag. Also, finding out what foreplay actually turns me on and indulging in a lot of that. Versus just trotting out whatever worked with the last woman and assuming we all have the same buttons to push.

Gaelle D

Big in consent, checking in even during Bdsm time, aftercare automatically, going down on me without hesitation. After outside the bedroom being a real team Player like doing stuff without asking just because it needed to be done. Pushing the green flag to him tracking my period cycle so he knows when he needs to come home with the sweets and the cuddling time.

Lindsay

Praise. And when he actually shows he's enjoying himself.

Nicoleta

I agree, we need an address or something 😭😂

Sarah O'Leary

Enthusiastic positive consent and communication!

Mino1

Consent check-ins that bleed into dirty talk. Enthusiasm giving oral. Cuddling and tender behavior after, even if not romantically involved.

Emmy Little

Yeah I realised that after writing it out 😆

LadyJ

They live on an island I think and we have no access to

Calypso

following the feeling. being able to "ride the wave" without words. that takes a lot of connection between two people to make that happen. being comfortable to just be. laugh. talk dirty... hell, talk nerdy. make noise. and be okay with it.

Nykohl Phoenyx

Him prepping the room for a scene with blankets and snacks ready for afterwards, comforting me when I’m dropping, reassuring that our space is safe, paying attention when I am non verbal and acting on my cues of what I need.

Josie Heart

Aftercare! My boyfriend will always get me water and food after we're done. My favorite green flag is my boyfriend making sure i don't lose my glasses since I like to keep them on during. And if I take them off and put them somewhere on the bed he'll stop and ask me where are they to make sure we dont crush them

Dan

Huge on aftercare as in let me get you some water, a washcloth, hey let's wash up real quick type of care. Things that are both emotionally and physically healthy (aka let's prevent UTIs). I think it's a major green flag when a man is just as invested in healthy aftercare both for you and himself. Of course it goes both ways but I think the railer would still have his senses about him compared to the one who had been railed. And male moans. Groans. Like all the noises and words that express how much he's into it. We don't care for nonchalance in the bedroom.

Madda

Also when they are confortable receiving affection, relaxed with our way of expressing love or attention. They drop the 'strong man' performance and they just abandon themselves in sensations :)

e.michele

After talking earlier in the day and noticing in my voice I’m having a bad day, having my favorite oil or lotion ready to massage me from head to toes. Then after the massage and sexy time, holding me tight all night.

xi

Romance, consent pure love and comunication 🤤🤤

neonboxers

Definitely laughing/talking/banter, pillow placement, check-in's, being vocal as in moaning and/or straight up saying I feel incredible or that he loves what I'm doing, and gentle aftercare.

EstieSky913

When they have fun with it. Doesn't have to be all serious and straight to the point. Laughing and playing around a bit just shows their comfortable with eachother.

Kad'la-Kathleen

Two way communication! It ties into consent, wants/needs, and aftercare. Not just telling me or asking me, but giving me the safe space to speak up with my own ideas, or to ask for something.

Michaela Myers

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳🤯🤯🤯🤯🥵🥵🥵🥵😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Sylvie

The eyes! It's all in the eyes!!😍👀

naibug ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

laughing instead of getting grossed out when i accidentally toot 💔

Ifera Morganna 👑

Oh sweetie, i'm so sorry. Be hopeful, cause you deserve all the green flags!!!

maggs

Sooo many things came to mind! Aftercare, check ins, laughing, understanding needs and wants, so many more!!

CandyGurl🍫

💕I was actually lucky enough to marry one but he died at age 53 -- I miss him💕

Your Babygirl ❤️

My Top 3 Green Flags inspired by my husband (Don't be jealous Rob/Gallo. He just happened to beat you both to a ring first.) 3. When he catches himself actually drooling at the sight of me. Silly and kinda gross, I know. But in a way I find it very flattering, especially because I've been having some body self esteem issues for the past few years after college. It makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive! He claims that happens when he starts feeling withdrawals from not having me. (Which is usually like barely a week, 2 tops. Lol.) 😏 2. When he turns the AC on and cleans himself before we start. I hate feeling sticky and hot afterwards so the AC really helps.😅 1. He is always willing to try new things to pleasure me that he has never done with other women. If he accidentally does or says something during sex that gets a more than pleasurable reaction outta me, he will try to practice it until he pinpoints what it was right in front of me. It is the dorkiest, cutest thing ever, and always earns a giggle or two. I always appreciate the effort though. 🤭 Geez, don't judge me y'all. Sorry for over sharing, those are just the greenest flags I can think of. 🫣🥲

Sassy Cassie

Probably gonna make a lot of people groan with this one, but hey this is my green flag. I've never been intimate with someone due to all of my self-esteem and body image issues, but making sure I feel wanted. I've always been one left behind or over looked, so having someone do that even when I act like I'm fine or don't want their help. Just someone to be there when I'm at my lowest and can't get up again.

Fallen Angel

When I tell him it's been a long time since last time and he takes it seriously, in an understanding way, and then makes sure, i feel comfortable and safe. When he tells me he's happy about everything that's possible but we don't have to go all the way at once. When he stays afterwards, takes/keeps me in his arms and tells me something affectionate and appreciative.

Ifera Morganna 👑

Asking what I like, if I feel safe before going full wild mode, always aftercare and cuddling and doing it because he loves it too, he loves making me feel safe but also being safe to let his guard down and be vulnerable when he needs to be, communication is essencial, respect ...and so many others

Crystal S.

Communicating and understanding consent.

Alyssa

I dont think that’s something people will groan about at all!! I actually think that’s a very valid want and feeling. I think a lot of people wish for someone who will help them out and make them feel loved💕

Dania

Sadly I don't have a green flag, bc I've never done it before EVER.😭😭.

Dania

Girl, I feel you😢

Sassy Cassie

Exactly, just hard to ask for help or accept it after relying on yourself for so long. and after being let down so much it's even harder.

Nikki

Open to trying new things. My husband and I were super vanilla and then I became intrigued by more...spicy things. He wasn't sure, but was willing to try new things and we discovered he had a hidden Dom kink. 🔥🔥🔥😁

Alisa Strickland

Aftercare. But my biggest; and this is true just me. When you tell them you’ve had a bad day, and they do your favorite things for you. Like drawing you a bath (if that’s what’s relaxing to you) or throwing your favorite pajamas into the dryer just so they are warm when you start to get cozy for bed. Or when they know you love having a back rub while you fall asleep so they just do it, without being asked. Those are the more PG16 answers. Now the rated R answers 👀 Green flags: when he’s okay leaving the mask on 🙊, when he…. Sticks… to a commitment until the first of many big ‘o’s join the chat. When he’s willing to try the crazy thing you read about in your book (wrestling moves included), when he’s doesn’t assume that your first is going to be your only (my multi-o girls get it). When he doesn’t put his pleasure first and I could keep going and getting in HEAVY detail….

Fallen Angel

That's not a green flag, that's a dream flag. 😍

Tovah

Green flags: Understands consent. Kind. Loving. Listens and remembers what I say. Check ins. Understanding. Is someone i can talk to about anything and vice versa. Being able to tell something is wrong by my voice. Someone i can trust. A good cuddler. Someone who can keep me grounded. Protective. Romantic. Open minded. Confident.

Fallen Angel

In contrast to many others here i don't want the kind of aftercare he has to get up for. I don’t want him to wash me or get anything to drink or eat - i need him to stay and hold me.

Ariane

For me number one is listening. Sex is supposed to be good for the 2 (or more) people involved. If someone says that they are not feeling it or that something is hurting, listen to them. It brings them safety stability and makes them feel seen 🤍

BetaX 1736

It might not count, but letting you be the big spoon ? I dont know, I jist feel like a man is way more in tune with himself and his feelings, if during like the aftercare, he lets himself get spooned...I dont, just doesnt seem like something, I see hear or read about often you know ?

ThatMF

Bring a warm towel to clean up not just a room temp or cold towel.

K8ness

Green means GO: 'You're safe with me' 'Look at me' 'Eyes up here'

Winter Puppet

Ill speak from experience.. I have a hard time with intimacy and my bf (total green flag) will always ask what I can and cannot handle before we do anything as it changes soooo Listening and understanding hard and soft limits with good aftercare

Thalasso 🌊

Idk if this is a green flag but I was surprised when I met this sweet man. He was all lovely but when it's time, he gave me a one liner to warn me before he goes into full chaos mode. He said "once you take off your shirt, I won't stop". I just love it, telling me without actually telling me. You get it?

Breanna

Awww..So sweet! I’m very close to my stuffy babies too, so I can understand where you’re coming from 😄☺️💗

Blue

Idk, I have never been in bed with someone like that

Call Me Good Girl

Being able to be humorous in bed is my biggest green flag. Sex should be fun and you should be able to laugh at the unexpected as it happens. For example, bodies making weird noises should be a cause for a laugh and not a judgement.

Zykire

So I saved myself until I knew I found my one man to be with, and since Ive found and had him, hes been nothing but patient, kind, and encouraging through spicy time despite my lack of experience and mental chains that keep me from fully enjoying our in bed intimacy

Mellie_21

I wouldn’t know but I hope I get alllll the green flags in AND out of the bedroom🤞🏽🤞🏽

Nicki

When they can take a little‘direction’ (in all things) without taking it as a personal attack

Shanchan80

I had a guy ask me about my fantasies. I loved that he let me express my desires and encouraged me. He asked questions and made me feel like my pleasure was important not just for the sake of knowing but to understand what I need.

Shanchan80

Nothing wrong with that. Make love when you're ready. A little self exploring is a good way to see what you're comfortable with! 😊

babie stay

Being able to read your body language to know when you don’t like something or when you REALLY like something without you always having to spell it out for them, then acting accordingly

I’mGoingLikeElsie

Whe he lets himself be vocal and vulnerable… both during and after. 🪦😵

A.Riz

When I told him about my Audio erotica kink and he said “ Listen to all the smut you want baby, and tell me all about it after, we can roleplay any scene you want” 🥹😝

Ashes

I would second this with helping you clean up at all, That’s been rare in my experience.

Shay Marshall

Never experienced green flags before. Probably why I’m on here so much learning what they look and sound like…don’t think I’ll ever have that but a girl can dream…

ayrrielleee

Checking in praise Being vocal Cuddling

windy

I guess i fall in the “open the window for air flow” category, because a warm washcloth after and putting a towel over the wet spot wins every time.

Wright Wrider

My man is an eater, like none I have ever been with before. Would eat me out all day long if I let him, cumming once is never enough for him and he begs for it. Greenest flag I’ve ever experienced

tasha

When a person will take their time even tho its easy for me. And especially if they make it their mission to increase the number of times I can cum. Or when it feels like to much and the prey side of my brain says flee the bed and they chase me across the bed. Also if they talk me through it and they use that voice. That sweet mocking voice.

P

Consent Not taking my preferences personal (eg I don’t always like kissing) When I can feel small and safe without feeling like being put in a box that is too small for me

chowchow

When I want to be boneless afterwards, but he makes sure I get up and clean up to avoid UTIs. He’ll start up the shower, bathroom heater, and straighten out the bed. Sometimes I get wrapped up in a towel, handed a bottle of water, and octopus snuggles

Lady Manticore

Reassurance and check-ins. I have anxiety and overthink a lot! So when my partner checks in and reassures me that I’m doing something well, it really helps! Plus it strokes the praise kink. Another big one is the aftercare. A previous boyfriend of mine would wash me while we showered after fun times. We’d also give each other massages, cause you know it’s quite the work out. And he would make sure we had something to eat later. It felt so nice to be cared for like that.

Jennifer Luque

I totally get it. I'm glad he said something too.

Blog851

Oh and when he projects a future with You during sex, like moving in toguether, having kids, buying a house, a dog

Taylor Rollins

When I’m having a hard time releasing, he looks me in the eyes and says the most romantic things. He’ll make us laugh and smile while we do it. It’s never a quiet moment for us.

Jennifer Luque

That's what I'm talking about! 😜 You go, girl!!!!!

lk2mvit

1. If his face doesn't double as a seat, throw the whole man away 2. When he sees toys as allies, not competition.

Diabolique Mess

• He took the time to learn and understand that I'm a switch. He shared that he has a notebook with the do's + don'ts when I'm bratty/baby girl/and free use. • When he asks this evening's "texture"...in case he's not sure, and I love that he takes the time to even check

Yuri-is-ready❤️

Hugs immediately for comfort even when he has a good day and squeezes you like a teddy bear. Get the idea to spoil you even with little things. He doesn't have to think about it, he just want to shower you with love whether it's with material things, a gentle touch, or loving words. He does it. He's adamant about holding YOUR hand even though he knows you can walk on your own. Someone that actually notices your quirks and how to respond to them like he can predict your every move.

Dani Cruz

When they ask directly for what they would like to try and wait for my consenting or non-consenting answer. Oh and when their version of flirting is asking me about my hard limits 🥵

Ruby

1) When he says “I love you” while sliding it in🙈 especially when it’s virgin listener. 2) Kissing wrists in the aftercare 🫠 3) Cleaning me up afterwards always makes me feel all types of way 😌 4) Letting me take care of him. Doesn’t always have to be aftercare but a simple body/head massage, skin care, mani-padi if I’m bored 😅

Ruby

You WILL! You deserve it Queen. All mushy, cute, cringe, hot, sexy, spicy, dominant, submissive, out of the world kind of love, you deserve it! Don’t settle for less🩷 Much love to you 🥰🤗🤗

WasabiBear

After release, he would check in on me with a tight hug and praises instead of pushing me further. I thought I was always a pushing-further-rough-play kind of gal, but when this happened in real life, my heart fluttered like hell. Felt protected and safe although very simple act - definitely an unexpected but unforgettable green flag

Andy

1) Consent and Fat Body Positivity 2) Forehead kisses when sliding in gently 3) Enthusiastic munching 4) Gentle praise

tiffany

Someone who understands that "no" is a complete sentence.

Ruby

Mine says, “your boyfriends can talk dirty to you all they want but I’m the one who will be doing it all to you.” This man child 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 He is jealous of Mr. Robinson and calls all the VAs “The Audio Avengers”.

ayo_aryaaa

“Does this feel good?” “Want me to go faster, baby?” “Do you like when I touch you like this?” Checking in is a YES YES YES ✅

Elster14085

Aside from consent and paying attention, My biggest green flag is them not complaining about condoms. Not a peep. They just understand that it’s a thing, no matter how long or short they’ve been with someone. Sometimes hormonal birth control, even at a low dose, can interact with other medications that are more important for a person to function. The whole “it dOeSn’T fEeL the sAmE” line is an immediate guilt trip and I am instantly turned off. The bar is in hell and I will die alone, but at least I won’t have kids!

Elster14085

There are other methods of non hormonal birth control of course, but the whining about it is my litmus test

Riri

1. Eye contact during sex/ climaxing 2. Cuddling and trailing his fingers over my body in an appreciative way post sex 3. Making us a snack / finding something enjoyable to do together for aftercare ( like for us crosswords/ sudoku has always been a connection point) 4. Sensing when something is off and calling it off

Kehaulani Kreitler

Being silly! I firmly believe that if you can’t laugh about sex with the person you’re having sex with, while you’re having sex with them, you should not behaving sex with them. If one of us says ‘don’t stop’ and the other bursts into song (either don’t stop believing or don’t stop me now i’m not picky) and they’re still about to keep having sex - absolutely my new favorite person. I love role play and serious energy as much as the next person but sometimes I’m also three different hyperactive squirrel characters in a trench coat and need to both be silly and be fucked silly. Also someone who’s willing to take a break and then get right back into things afterwards - my favorite people

Azalea Angel

Always up to trying new things, even if they're awkward to do!

Fleur Pouvior

Open discussion and clear explicit consent with questions for clarification to make sure everyone is on the same page

Rayna🦋✨

There are a few for me, like asking for consent even before he hugs or kisses me, paying attention to my nonverbal cues, hugging me for hours with my plushies and earplugs when I’m too overwhelmed especially because I get sensory overload often. There’s also stuff like holding eye contact to make me feel safe enough to say what I really feel inside. It just makes me feel not judged, kind of like I’m talking to myself, if that makes sense?? It’s just the way he acts and manages to figure out what I really want when I’m having trouble saying it. There’s also stuff like long strong hugs whenever I can’t hold eye contact, or the back rubs, soft praises and butt pats during aftercare (or anytime really, they’re my favorites lol)☺️

adamsgirl

Fell in love with my boyfriend because he didn’t make me sleep in the wet spot. Others have put a towel down, ignored the fact, blamed me… but he would not allow me to lay in it. I didn’t even realize how significant it was until he did it.

Kammy

Heavy on the enthusiastic munching

Toto joes

I haven't experienced that yet but im loving all the comments and stories! Low key jealous!

Kammy

I don’t know about that life because I’m still “pure” but, I would like to think that a green flag would be when he makes you comfortable and doesn’t make you feel bad for not doing things you don’t want to do. Keen listening to your partners needs and wants and respecting it, is, to me, the biggest green flag of them all ❤️

Jenna Sample

I haven’t had intimate relations with anyone yet but I think a big green flag for me is when there is constant check ins through out.

Kammy

Also, a vocal man. A man that BEGS and whimpers. I know some men hate to be vocal but it’s such a turn on when a man is losing his mind over what his girl is doing to him

his_sleepy_gremlin

Him moaning ( like not being afraid to let his moan), honestly, it reassures me that we are having a good time

A. K.

Consent, Check ins, Not complete Chaos but reading my body responses as i go nonverbal easily when overwhelmed anxious or insecure and afterwards talking about how what have been for both of us. Together building our sex life worth to be wanted.

Serein

Making me laugh,consent and moans ✨

NativeReader

Cleanliness. I love to get messy but tidy? Haha prioritizing health, aftercare

Mizzy

Listen...My mind immediately went to calming your partner down after a VERY intense orgasm, with lots of heavy praises whispered in their ears. Letting them know they did a good job doing exactly what you set them out to do, with ✨️consent✨️ of course, is mmmMmmm Picasso~♡ 🤌🏽

Little Blueberry

Check-Ins, consent, cleaning up afterwards (bed and the partner) and very thorough aftercare.

Louise

I’m one of the women that don’t need penetration to orgasm, 99% of my pleasure comes from my partner or myself taking care of my clit. Yes penetration also feels nice but it’s not getting me anywhere and after a few minutes without my clit being played with, I start to get bored and turned off. My ex boyfriend (5 years ago) didn’t understand that, even after explaining, and while we were having sex, he often prevented me from touching my clit and also refused to do it himself, and then he’d be all confused when my vagina would slowly close itself and push him out (yes it does that sometimes, getting tight around your partner from pleasure is different from what my body was doing aka full rejection). So a bedroom green flag for me would be that when I tell my partner how my body works and how I experience pleasure, actually listen to me and at least try to do what I talked about and never prevent me from doing it and showing them how I like it. Yes I know it’s not much to ask for but I haven’t had sex in the past 5 years because every time I’ve talked about it with a potential partner, they’ve always dismissed it as “YoU hAveN’t TriEd MInE” or “sO I jUst TOucH iT oNce ANd YoU’ll COme?” So the bar is buried next to a dinosaur’s poop but none of the men I talked to in 5 years managed to get over that bar. Sorry for the long answer, if you read all of this and paid attention, I love you, come here I’ll give you headpats and snuggles 🥰

FeralMoonlightArt

That your partner is actively trying to learn what makes you tick and takes his time to make sure you feel good. For me this is especially true, since trauma from sexual assault in the past makes it extremely hard for me to orgasm at all - rather to relax enough to let it happen. Which is why my current partner of 6 years is a purely green flag - he knows me listening to these audios is helping me heal AND he has been making amazing progress in the past years with getting me to relax and feel good. Sorry not sorry for the humble brag.

LSvensdotter

I feel like I’ve been shunned for something…what is aftercare?

McKayla Johnson

Definitely someone who always checks in to see if what they are doing is alright. Communication is key

Ruri

When he tells me what he'll do before, so i don't get triggered and get scared ❤️ when he holds me to ground me after everything we did, breathe me in and out ❤️ it's all Daddy Gallo coded

Ximena 16

Checkings Aftercare Get a orgasm without penetration Have time to discover what yor partner likes Having a safeword He moaning screaming...

MargueriteAimeLa

Doesnt think that his orgasm HAS to be the end of fun Change the sheets after ⛲️

BellaBee

1. Checking in 2. His orgasm doesn't mean we're done 3. Offering a drink and/or snack after 4. Helping you redress instead of leaving you to do it like you're discarded 5. Cuddles (if you're into that) and talking without making jt seem like it's cringey to asked your partner what their favorite part was.

Loz

Honestly aftercare can range from just cuddles to your partner doing things for you, like some people make grilled cheese sandwiches or run a hot bath for their partner afterwards! It's all just making sure you feel safe, loved and taken care of pretty much ☺️ I hope you get to experience that with the right person one day 💜

Daisy

1. Telling me what he's gonna do to me... gets me in the mood 2. Letting me orgasm first a few times without penetration so that I'm really ready for him. 3. Saying all the right dirty things to me during... Daddy Gallo style 4. Long kissing after 5. Aftercare

Ellixpress

Most of what I have to say has already been mentioned. I'll add paying attention to my physical comfort (not letting my head smack into the headboard, making sure I'm not lying on my hair, ensuring my legs don't get twisted into painful positions), paying attention to my nonverbal cues (I had a partner who was like fifty times better at going down than anyone else ever and they said it was just from paying attention to how I moved, moaned, tightened my hands, etc.), and verbal positive reinforcement (good girl, you're so hot, your pussy is the best thing I've ever felt, oh you're so good at that, I could do this with you forever, you taste amazing, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, you were totally right about that thing earlier, you're pretty and smart and funny and you smell amazing. Stuff like that.)

Ellixpress

Amen! Sex is weird, especially when you're considering all the noises and fluids. I want a partner who will giggle with me over a queef them go right back to eating.

Writer's Wings

I've never done... it. But I guess I would like him to talk to me through it. Comforting words. Praises. He's not doing it for his pleasure only.

Michaela Ameise

💋💋💋 There are multiple green flags obviously. But I appreciate him asking me during sex and after, if I am okay. Another thing is his pleasure: I want a man to moan, breathe, talk, just express that he is stimulated good, that he enjoys what we are doing.

Sytra

Check-ins, dirty talk and just paying attention to my body language and adjusting to what I like. That's what I do for my partner and I expect the same in return.

A.Riz

🤣 I love it.

JessafronK

Making sure that the bedroom is a safe space for expression. I'm very self conscious about my kinks and my last partner made me feel safe with sharing them and not making fun of my vulnerability with positive reception and encouragement

Mrs.grim

Is it sad the only thing I can think of is feel loved 🥲🥲

Lara Van Wolfe ✨🐺✨

Before BKS I never knew how important this was.. & it makes so much sense now. It has become a non negotiable for me going forward. Ultimate green flag is how they show aftercare. Period!

Cherry B.

Okay, but when you’re peri menopausal but also hogtied during a hot flash, ain’t nobody going to sneer at airflow.

A.Riz

Im a lucky girl! He is just as depraved as I am 😛

Persephone

Most of it is mentioned in the comments already, but definitely check ins. Talking me through it, kinda reading which version of him I need in that moment.

A.Riz

I was telling mine the other day that I had cravings( I can’t have kids anymore) and he says “mhmmm maybe one of your VA got you pregnant 🤣🤣 I said fuck, how the heck do I find out who is the daddy? I’ve been with multiple BKS boys! 🤣🤣

Ariadne

I didn't read previous comments, just the question... and I swear I was about to say the exact same thing 🥰🫶

Persephone

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Lara Van Wolfe ✨🐺✨

The 3 fundamentals for being an exceptional Green Flag are this 👇🏼 Ask - ❔ Listen -👂🏻 Watch - 👁️ That’s it. Yes having amazing stamina & prowess in the bedroom are definitely a bonus. But if you are able to master the holy trinity above then you will very quickly become the kind of lover most people can only dream about. It’s very much about caring enough to learn what your partner wants, listening to their needs & essentials & watching how their body responds to what you do. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Cherry

Someone who’s actually good at aftercare!! I’ve had so many guys be fine afterwards when I’m on the comedown, I always get really emotional after sex for some reason? So it’s always nice when a guy is gentle with me:)

InkedInSin

Consent, open communication between one another, anticipates and takes initiative, talking it through & always happy to clean one another off after.

Moncheeze

I don’t really know too much about the bedroom as I really lack any experience. The only thing I can say if they are still wanting while holding you after spicy time. Then surely that will send me signals of reassurance beyond wonders.

Bea

- taking stuff off my plate so I can let my mind be free - making sure the space is ready for spicy time - water and snacks after - jokes and affection during the day - making me feel wanted during the day, not just in the bedroom

Gallo’s pretty girl~

-comforting me afterwards -consent -check ins -observes me in my daily things and takes them into consideration and does things for me just the little things matter

Ruby

The way we were getting all breeding audios back to back, no amount of birth control could have stopped the pregnancy 😂😂

Brittany Michelle Jones

Cuddling after intimacy, being vulnerable in his arms while feeling safe, being open with each other in the bedroom

Lav

I wouldn’t know cus holy moly the amount of times it’s been a teaching moment 😭. I’ve never actually had a good time.

I need gentle big men

Actually feeling cherished and loved. I’ve never felt that sadly but I’ve always dreamed of being able to have a man that will give me pleasure and love me with tender kisses and praise.

Ella Tan

They keep kissing you

Kairi K.

- Check-ins - Comfort Afterwards But my absolute favorite is when my partner moans! ❤️ Let me hear you! - His head falls into the pillow - He curses quietly - He holds on tighter to me (hips, thighs, legs, or arms) But also if he is attentive, watches and responds to me!

Caitlin

Well I've never had green flags since I only had bad experiences. But I'd love if my partner checks in during and after sex. And AFTER CARE! It's so important and I never got it the right way. Only a glass of water sometimes but never the RIGHT after care

George23

Laughing and being silly. I don’t just want passion, I want joy also. :)

Mirri

- When they give feedback / communicate - Check ins - Humor

A.Riz

Facts 🤣

PhoenixMoon

Laying naked afterwards..not necessarily cuddling right away as I am a sweater Bringing me food to eat in bed Holding me until I fall asleep (sex optional) Having a good enough time to laugh during sex

Katie

Being able to joke throughout when appropriate and making sure I'm not thirsty or hungry after. Such little things

Zaya

Only done it once it wasn’t great, but making sure I’m feeling pleasure would be a great start 🤗

Pam 701

Sense of humor is a big one. Also, just really paying close attention and checking in. Affection and cuddling after.

Tarnished Halo

I had a guy I brought home one time, who ran me a bath first. I will never forget that.

Maebhfly

Imma be honest here, I'm not entirely sure if some of mine are green flags or just bare minimum. Anyway... Good hygiene, has their own stock of condoms, enjoys foreplay, checks in periodically, doesn't feel emasculated if I don't orgasm, doesn't falsely compliment just to get me there, affection, thoughtful aftercare, etc. I could go on but I think I'll stop here.

Kirsten S.

A person who actually listens. Not someone who just waits until its their turn to speak, but actually listens and absorbs what I am saying and thinking about what I said before responding back. Communication is the drop dead hottest thing on the planet!

Tee 📚🌻🌙

Check ins. Him being open to communicate after. I love forehead kisses so that’s so grounding for me after. Cuddle afterwards and to just lay and talk with him for a while afterwards 💕💕

Cali

Consent about everything before and aftercare ofc 🤧

Emma

Men that moan loud. Tells me they’re comfortable expressing themselves emotionally and it’s hot af too

scoreytorey

“if one of us says ‘don’t stop’ and other bursts into song” …the way i immediately started singing ‘dont stop’ by 5sos out loud as i read that 🤣

scoreytorey

yep! also, there are STD/STIs that they literally cannot test for unless you’re in an active flare up. so. you or your partner can both be “clean” while still running the risk of having a STD/STI like herpes, HIV, syphilis, etc. condoms are useful even if you ARE on hormonal birth control, and honestly i recommend using them in tandem with each other! whatever your reasoning is, no one should make you feel ashamed for protecting yourself :)

Jules

Reassurance, being present, aftercare, cradling my head...

Ariadne

Perfect...! I can easily put a ✅ next to each one of them...! Those are my green-flag signals too Only things I add: -check-ins during the day... not just during sex -someone who can hold me at my most vulnerable (when i feel broken and hurt, when i cry and scream and feel bad) and who's not afraid to help me regulate my ups and downs

Adriana Estrada

Someone who considers you an equal, considering just as important that you are satisfied, who hears your opinion or desires when trying something and also having iniciative or respecting a no if you are not in the mood ❤️

tanya.

(haha that text in the description was our dear friend chatGPT, right?) hmm. that the affection and desire has the same DNA during sex as in the rest of the relationship. the same humor, the same willingness to please and see the other happy, the generosity. then sex becomes just a way to express it and have fun together. this means enjoying foreplay, taking time for aftercare and all that stuff, because sex is just one part of the whole. i want to feel, and make the other feel, loved and wanted both when we have sex and not.

Elizabeth Martin

For me its when they pay attention to my body's cues and remember my preferences. Too many times I've had a partner that just did the same thing even after I tried to explain that it wasn't really doing it for me. That and willingly giving aftercare. It seems like a lot of people view it as a chore or unnecessary.

Elster14085

Oh I know. Goes without saying there on the STI front. But yeah, if a guy complains like a high schooler about it, I tell them it’s not happening because “I don’t sleep with boys. I sleep with men”

Clara

A few for me: 1. Meticulous hygiene. This means a proper, head-to-toe clean—especially the crucial areas—not just a casual splash. It also includes clean hands and well-trimmed nails. It's a small detail that shows they respect you and the experience. (And as the saying goes, if you want to nail it, you've got to have well-nailed nails first.) 2. Handling "what ifs" with maturity. After we're done, they check the condom. If there's a problem (like a break), their immediate response isn't just a panicked "I'm sorry," but a calm, "Okay, here's what we should do." Because in that scenario, an apology without action feels impotent; taking responsibility is the real green flag.

junibeecortez

i’d definitely say checking in to make sure you’re okay, and no fear in expressing how they’re feeling about the encounter!! 😛

Randomlistener123

A few nights ago, my husband came to me and told me he had been reading a document on the internet about how to please women orally and he had some questions. It has been one of the most wholesome and sexiest moments of our marriage ;)

Maya

My boyfriend despite the fact that I was legit in the mist of doing it paid for my audioboom subscription on Spotify (which he also pays for) Bought me this video game I wanted and took me on a date even tho we were in the mist of an argument made me brownies and Mac and Cheese too (My comfort food) Just because I mentioned wanting to buy some

GabriGon

Princess treatment. 👸 LENGTHY foreplay, dirty talk, aftercare. Lots of aftercare.

Jenna Robinson

Foreplay, check ins for comfort, safe words, good hygiene, paying attention to the details and body language being my partner my equal consent understanding that being with a woman of color may sometimes mean standing up for her and standing on business even with family and friends

wilhelmina

In addition to many that have been mentioned already: Talking about it beforehand! Or in my example case, texting about it. In my opinion sexting is GREAT because a) you get all worked up and it functions like a foreplay and b) you can talk about what you want to do and what the other person wants to do. You both have a good sense of what to expect and it takes some of the pressure off in the actual situation.

Jace

Keeping the energy lighthearted and check ins! Sometimes I over analyze after I scratch harder or jerk suddenly in the midst of whatever my boyfriend is doing, and he always taps in to let me know he’s still enjoying himself/okay with continuing if I am. An example: I apologized for my thighs squeezing his head while he was eating 🤦🏾‍♀️ he giggled and kissed my thighs before wrapping my legs entirely around his head and said do it again.

Mochi_Peach

I like threesomes, and I always appreciate it when they at least take into account how I feel at certain times. Like if I'm a little tired, or if I want to change positions. That they are equipped, I don't have to worry about anything.

CrazeeCozee

When he caresses and kisses me through the aftershocks of an orgasm

CeruleanBlue1419

Consent checking in and stopping to make sure all is well. After care kissing cuddling.

Rey d'Decker

The eye contact, safe arms tight around me, the aftercare, not being selfish about those moments, the long before play. The hair pull on the back of the neck.

Eliza

They prepare the space and any supplies that may be needed. Adjusting the temperature in the room, pillows and blankets available, water and snacks, condoms, lube, and anything else that may be needed quickly close by.

LOLA Jovovic

how do i record a video for BKS callenge I love to thow

Nicole

Good hygiene, smelling good is a must! Sexy/dirty talk, checking my „colors“ in between, being sensitive about the fact that not every day is the same and what went well yesterday is maybe not ok tomorrow. So: basically being careful and intuitive.

Hannah Young

Random question does anyone remember the audio brother dearest? Like I swear it exists it was a Robinson audio…I can’t find it I’m starting to think I’m delusional and dreamed the whole thing can someone help me I’m losing my mind trying to find this audio

Wright Wrider

It’s been taken down off Patreon a few times so it’s only available in the discord dark room 🩵

Miss Thompson

Never heard of that before. How do I find it?

Wright Wrider

If you go to the posts tab, the first pinned post is a list of all the audios and the discord link. Discord is another app that is sort of like a chat room. BKS fans can interact and listen to stuff in the “dark room” since the rules are a little different on that app

Zoe

Omg is that a step brother one I’ve been missing it too I also thought I was going insane 💀

sweetYou.

Can some help me to find she accidentally left her a spicy voicemail. I can't find it. It in Robinson . Help pleas that country voice is soo what I need.

Clara Catlady

Safety and trust are in my opinion the most important thing, because it enables everything else to work. If you feel safe you can explore, share, and say no, without thinking if your partner is gonna react badly to any of these. You would probably be more likely to go out of your comfort zone and try new things because you know for certain that the moment you are uncomfortable he would STOP. That and being attentive and a good listener, like ACTUALLY listening.

Dear*Me*Oh*My

Yesssss this!!! All of this!! 👏👏👏