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DISCUSSION - What is your funniest or cringiest moment from when you were sexually inexperienced? (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-15 12:00:05
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

We've all had those embarrassing hook-ups or encounters...

When we were completely clueless about what we were doing or the other person was. 

What has been the funniest or most cringey/face-palming moment you've had? 

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smut_kpop queen 1584

My ex high school sweetie was going for gold on my kitty 😺 and I sneezed only to pee myself he thought I squirted to this day I have not had the guts to tell him I pissed in his mouth he thinks he made me squirt

i’m plus ultra af

i can be a squirter, but one time i thought i felt it coming on...only to pee a little bit instead. it stained the chair in my dorm room and i think that chair probably still has that stain too this day. 🤢🤮 also got a little too into giving head once and puked a little bit but swallowed it back. he asked if i was okay and i told him i was fine and just went back at it and kept going. my ex SUCKED but he was really cool about both instances and i did appreciate that, at least.

SweetWildfire

Not me but my ex tried talking dirty to me on the phone and then proceeded to tell me he’s gonna “bite that clit”

Oliviazandrite

When I found out I was a squirter. My husband's and I first time having sex he, for lack of a better word, ruined me and I ruined his bed. I was so embarrassed, because I didn't know I could do that until he came along.

Kay Mitchell

Literally was sexting my then boyfriend with a straight face 😭 I was writing whole fantasies with a straight face. Him : " are you touching your self babe? Are you gonna cum?" Me : " yes.....yes...babe..." ( Mean while laying on the couch watching random tv show 😂)

Vic

I was giving head to my boyfriend and we had a playlist on to make it more fun the song by cupcake came on called “hump me fuck me” came on and when I went down more a specific lyric came on that said “so deep in my throat I can’t speak” and we both burst out laughing and I couldn’t stop for 5 minutes

peach ʚ♡ɞ

my ex tried to lie me down into missionary from riding in his car and he hit my head really hard on the roof of it and we sat there laughing for a good 2 minutes lmao

KitKatt

I met up with a guy who was a good 20 years older than me (I was 22 at the time) and we went back to his place. He'd told me he was a recently divorced man and I thought nothing of it. We were in the middle of the dirty, and in walks his ex wife. Apparently she was picking up some stuff she left at his house. I guess it never occurred to him to tell me just HOW recent the divorce was 🤣

sage

I was 17, first time ever having consensual sex, I LITERALLY SAT ON IT, and he came. That was it. Done.😂 he tried to apologize but I just told him that it was totally understandable and we can always try again later but we never did😂😂😂

Emslou

He fingered me and then decided to rub his dick on my vag, but as he did it my vag decided to fart, he started laughing and I was so embarrassed. Literally the second time I ever did anything sexually and I was like ‘I promise it wasn’t a real fart!’ But luckily he was pretty experienced sexually so he was fine with it. After we finished I literally just moved my leg up slightly and it happened again. The funny thing is, I pretty much never get vag farts, so it was as surprising for him as it was for me 😂

Patrish_ka

My Ex fingered me after we made nachos, but didn't wash his hands well enough after cutting up the jalapeños....you can only imagine the pain I was in. Had to pour milk on my kitty in the bathtub 😂😂

Merau

I had a dude call me Justin the whole time. My name is not Justin. I just panicked and didn't correct him. To this day I'm pretty sure he thinks my name is Justin. I'm a chick whose name is not even close to that. I'm not entirely sure where the confusion came from, but here we are. Just out here with a useless memory of "Justin" being moaned at me.

NutNutty

The first time my boyfriend ate me out I accidentally farted because I ate black beans...and the way my dad makes black beans is just out of this world so I ate a lot of it and let's just say it was NOT pretty. My face was definitely tomato red with my head in my hands because of how embarrassed I was. He still jokes about it to this day...he'll never let me live that down

LIZZIE

my first time topping was dramatic, i was in my teenage years then and my boyfriend and i got down and dirty. and i wanted to top, meaning i was the one who would have to put his dick in. i didn't want to that at all, but i had already cuffed him.

Rainshadow

Recently married and living with my brother and SIL. Went out for my birthday and decided to have fun in the back seat so we wouldn’t have to worry about being quiet at the house. We we on a back road at a park. Getting hot and heavy, panties and his undies on the floor, there was a tap at the window! The military police asked us to step out of the car. I had a dress on, thank god and husbands shirt was long so it covered him. He asked for military ID, he checked them over, looked at us handing back the IDs saying “have a great night.” And then he left! Husband and I got back into the back seat, sat there stunned, then laughed for 15 minutes! Needless to say, the mood had been ruined. 🤪