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Today, we're talking 'Post-O shame' 

*the post-orgasm shame that follows watching kinkier porn or masturbating.*

I wanted to pose this question because I get a lot of messages from people describing how BKS and audio erotica more generally has helped them overcome this issue and I wanted everyone to be able to get the chance to share their stories or journeys of getting past this and what has helped them the most. To hopefully help others do the same.

Have you experienced post-orgasm shame? 

When has it been the worst in the past (e.g. specific porn, fantasies, things you do etc)?

How did you deal with it? And has audio erotica helped this over time? Any interesting stories or instances that you remember?

Files

Comments

PhoenixMoon

I didn’t even know post orgasm shame was a thing! I think I’ve experienced it to some degree though,as I sometimes think I’ll never be able to orgasm to a normal human male once I have sex. But it goes away rather quickly and I’m like fuck it. I like what I like!

XXX_SwitchBunny

I used to be shamed for using my safeword with my ex. Until I found BKS and my current husband, I didn't realize that using the safeword, even if things were going well, was used for check-ins, over stimulation, and so much more. Through your audios, my husband and I have both actually been able to explore one another's fantasies safely and understand how to provide proper aftercare. Just wanted to drop a thank you.

Makena Kimball

As someone who (unfortunately) got into porn at a younger age it definitely has to do with your relationship with sex. For me it took awhile before I realized that I wasn’t totally alone but still it takes a lot of practice to be kind to yourself. I’d just say to remember that we’re all human and this is a normal human thing to do. I’d also say healing your relationship with porn, I think because audios are relatively anonymous and completely consenting and more real, it definitely takes the shame out of it unlike on websites like pornhub where you just feel like shit after because what you’re watching is just so unrealistic.

Irene

Honestly this made me think about solo aftercare audios. Sometimes afterwards its nice to have a longer cooldown moment

Ameerah Woods

I guess so, especially with the aftercare at the end of most of the audios. Visual porn, idk why, makes me feel really gross and rotten, but when I listen to it, because it's more imaginative and interactive since I can picture myself and the ideal partner, it feels like a perfect fantasy I don't have to feel shame about. (I'm not delulu tho, I will always remember its a fantasy. Love what y'all do <3)

Jenna Sample

I feel shameful after I do. Idk why because I really don’t have a reason for it. I feel like I’m a horrible person after I masterbate. Listen to the erotic audios have helped because there is like the after care on them which has really helped a lot so thank you.

SyrenaFae

Short Answer: Yes Long Answer: I've been caught masturbating by my parents multiple times. The worst time was when my mom caught me watching stuff (tickle play, for those curious) and screamed at me for 30 minutes. I was scared, frozen, pants down, just crying the whole time. Since then, anything sexual brought me so much shame and this horrible feeling of disgust. I was jealous of those who could masturbate or discuss sex normally. Plus I hadn't experienced sexual attraction before since I'm on the ace spectrum (demisexual to be precise). Thanks to audios like these and others, I've been reassured time and time again that what I do is normal and not a horrible act of sin. My bf has also been a big help in reassuring me that I'm safe to be openly sexual with him. I still hold back and feel shy and anxious at times (especially with harder kinks) but I'm getting braver thanks to these audios and to him.

Rebekah

I agree 100% with this I’m in the same boat

Tiffany Johnson

This audio erotica is the best. Helps me release tension if yah know what I mean. Also helps me have some ideas for me and my hubby in the bedroom and even out of it. I have a safeword, I've used BDSM toys and also have experienced some ruff and tumble things. But in my experience, if he really loves u and reallt cares he will take his time, really show u the affection and intimacy you need. And these audios also help me sleep.. Thanks for everything and to everyone

Emma

I know some people do, and I know they can get help for it. It can eat into a relationship. I've never had it myself, but it can be helped. Usually it doesn't last long but it can sometimes cause damage.

I Drink Vinegar

I’ve definitely had post orgasm shame, getting into harder kink can feel pretty isolating sometimes and it can be difficult to explore. I experienced the most shame surrounding daddy kink and CNC specifically. I find that audio erotica, and the communities that are built around creators helped me feel more comfortable and honest with myself ❤️

Lya SolasiDo

My first approach to sexuality was pornography (unfortunately) and yes, it wasn't until I started listening to erotic audios that I discovered that it was unusual to feel embarrassed or awkward about having an orgasm. It was an unpleasant feeling, like I was wrong for doing it or like I was being constantly watched (like someone knew what I had done!) After finding BKS content that feeling went down quite a bit! The aftercare and the way the story is generated have helped me a lot to know that I am not the problem and that there is nothing wrong with having an orgasm!

Marsela

I don't know if this is the right place to share this but I have no experience at all and I just turned 22, my biggest fear is contacting STDs. Its so serious to the point anxiety keeps me up at night and affects my daily performance. I remember after my first kiss I had panic attacks that whole week, I feared I had contracted STD .I have a history of severe OCD and I get therapy, there's a time I panicked and had a seizure from touching chewed gum under a desk.Rn I'm in uni and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of fun. I've tried to put myself out there , like attending parties and clubs but it makes my fear worse and triples my anxiety after being in large crowds with sweat all over. I have a fear of ending up alone. Bks has really helped with my curiosity so thank you really 🌸 ever since my first kiss I've been having a fear that I contacted a std, I talked to my therapist about it which she suggests that I get tested but I'm in so much fear of the results despite being a virgin, it makes me hate myself really.anyway than goodness there's bks

GetJinxed

I would say yes, but also, I actually masturbate less now that I've started listening to these audios. I think because it gives me a way to realize my fantasies without feeling like I have to have an orgasm? I don't know if that makes sense. I genuinely just like hearing men moan 😅 so I can just enjoy it or choose to be immersed. And I don't feel like I'm intruding on anyone lmao. It's just me in my mind, which is nice. I don't have to think about anything else, so I don't have the room to really feel shame about it. And like others have said, I think psychologically the aftercare and stories themselves help. Most visual porn is so.... abrasive or uncaring or just nasty (in an unappealing way) that it just makes me feel gross. And bored. And the VAs are sooooo good, not like stiff ass porn actors lmao! So it's honestly just a better experience all around. So I'm glad I found BKS 🤭

Eris

I think the biggest issue is that most porn is made for men thus it's meant for their pov which just isn't the same as women's. We're not as visual. I find that it's hard to find something to watch for a multitude of reasons. The actors are too young ( some are my kids age which is a turn off) the actors arent attractive, the actors aren't good actors (the women are so over the top it's cringe), the positions are awkward, etc etc. with audio there's so much we get to fill in for ourselves it takes a lot of that out of the equation.

Lillith Ember

I was raised in a very strict religious home, so anything sex related (including my mother giving me the birds and bees talk) was forbidden; one was supposed to stay pure until marriage, no physical contact of any kind with the opposite sex, lots of homophobia, and masturbating got you a one way ticket to hell. Because of my sheltered upbringing, things happened to me when I was 20, and I have spent the last 15 years trying to come to terms with it. Part of that was learning to love myself, in every way....but because of the religion and events of my past it was hard....and I felt so much shame when I masturbated, let alone got pleasure from it. BKS, along with another aurally pleasing creator I follow, and reading spicy novels has really helped to come out of my shell in regards to this whole realm of "evil pleasures"....and on the off chance I start to feel the shame creep back in, I just remember that if "god" didn't want us to enjoy it, "he" wouldn't have made it so pleasurable 🤷🏼‍♀️😅

Theresa ZIMMER

I absolutely identify with this. Thank you for putting into words exactly what I was thinking and feeling. I don’t feel so alone knowing there is someone else that feels this way. Thank you.

Bye bye…for now.

I do use erotic audios to deal with my CSA trauma. I can't stand being touched by anyone and being touched sexually is nearly impossible for me to handle. The audios fill a gap in my life that until I found BKS on Reddit was a problem. I no longer experience sexual shame because I no longer have to worry disappointing or creeping out a partner. I'm free and for that I'm grateful for BKS & other independent VA's who create erotic audios work so much. Thank you.

Marsela

Sharing this was so relieving btw😭

VegasSin

SO MUCH THIS!!!!

Jayden Xoxo

For me personally, it’s very hard for me to be sexual with people atm, and this is helping me a lot with feeling ok with all sexual things. So, thank you for making audios that make u feel appreciated and loved after everything. I really appreciate it ❤️

Laurelyn

Honestly I have never been very comfortable with any type of sexuality - similar to others I had been taught that any sexual activity outside of marriage was wrong and morally repulsive. I actually had a "friend" tell me I was going to hell because a boyfriend left a hickey on my neck once (I was still a virgin at the time... we just fooled around). That incident left a mark on my soul far more than anything else. I've struggled with being comfortable with sex, and with my submissive/daddy interests I've always seemed to have. BKS has helped me feel normal, and has allowed me to embrace my submissive nature, kinks, and desire to be in a romantic relationship one day.

Siobhán

For me it’s a way of exploring fantasies and sides of myself I might not actually engage in during real intimate situations and also not face potential judgement or scrutiny for those things I like that partners have judged me for I also not to long ago discovered things about my sexuality that make real life intimate relationships and “scratching the itch” difficult for me

GamerGal8684

I’ve started getting over post orgasm shame since I’m at the point where I’ve stopped giving a shit what others say in a negative light. It’s their opinion not my problem but ASMR has helped me to relax, keep calm or just enjoy myself

yellowbricks

when i was younger, a lot younger, i would need a moment to collect myself after orgasming like a goddamn animal; listening to the deafening silence which quickly turned into a ringing... reconnecting with my body after feeling so outside of myself... followed by embarrasssment. after meeting BKS, it's just funny. instead of grappling with shock and embarrassment, i just laugh. it's hilarious.

Mags

Tldr: yes, erotic audio has helped me explore my own sexual desires. For a multitude of reasons I was virgin well into my 30s and so didn't explore my own desires. EA helped me realize that I've never really liked watching porn- especially the rougher scenes. They made me very anxious. Even when I first found EA, I wouldn't listen to anything that mentioned rough sex, doms, or degradation. I felt shame around those ideas. But I vividly remember the first EA I listened to that mentioned rough sex and aftercare. I almost turned it off but I got to aftercare and had that light bulb moment. That was a huge part I was missing before. The backstory, the build up, the aftercare really made the difference to let go of that shameful feeling about having an orgasm to those role plays.

Ceri Long

I'm in a bit of an odd position, because I've never had an orgasm. So I have no idea about post-orgasm shame specifically. Post sex, post masturbation, post porn? Absolutely. I grew up in a very strict religious household. My mother's version of 'healthy sexuality' was "Jesus is everywhere. He's standing at the end of the bed. What are you going to do, masturbate in front of him?" Which is kind of a weird thing to lay on an 8 yr old who hadn't even tried that stuff yet. But I digress. I was taught sex is for.marriage only, a woman serves the husband in all ways, and the only reason a woman should be on contraception is if it's medically required (for endometriosis etc). Unfortunately, I have an extremely high sex drive. This led to me getting into a LOT of trouble the minute I left home at 17. I had some extremely bad experiences over a long time that left me with a host of issues about being touched or having sex or being vulnerable during sex. Realising I was bisexual nearly gave me a breakdown, because that's a sin, dontcha know (my mother called me defective when she found out). But through all of it, I always felt shame for not enjoying things the same way as everyone else or for being interested in more unusual kinks. Listening to the BKS audios... Honestly changed everything for me. I didn't have to perform for a partner, or feel awkward over my physical limitations. I didn't have to tolerate someone pawing at me, but could enjoy the fantasy of being touched in ways I liked. The audios let me explore (mentally) some things I'd never be able to in real life, and the first time I listened, I actually cried afterwards because I didn't feel the need to shower under burning hot water and scrub myself raw. I ENJOYED it. I don't know if this answers your question or not, but I can legitimately say that the team at BKS have given me a way to express my sexuality in a healthier way. And I am SO VERY GRATEFUL. For the record, I've never subscribed to a patreon in my life until BKS. From the very first audio (Call me when you need me), I needed to throw money at you guys because I was desperate to support the work you do. THANK YOU

MJ Anderson

So I grew up in a strict religion (read: cult) where masturbating is a sin so great you have to get help to repent for it. You can't just pray and repent and be good, you have to go to the church leader. So at the age of 14 after discovering that this was such a serious sin, I did just that. An hour alone in a room with a man older than my father, who I'd know since I learned to walk. I'm lucky in that he did not try anything. But nevertheless it formed a core memory to be sure and so even now, nearly a decade since I left that religion, and even longer since what happened, I still struggle with the purity culture and the dread and guilt that comes after an O. But BKS definitely helps. It's not fool proof. I still sometimes have icky feelings afterwards, but they're not as strong or as painful. It's definitely freeing. I'm still a virgin, nearing my 30s, so self loving is all I've got, but erotic audios help bring something human into it all, so I feel less alone before, during, and after.

Princess Kitten

For me, it was more that I was uneducated on what to do during an sexual encounter. I didn't get any advice from my mom etc. I got my education from porn, which is not real life. Fast forward to a sexless marriage for the last few years of our marriage, BKS has helped me sort out my feelings on sex, Daddy/sub relationships, and other sexual relationships. Thanks for letting me share.

Liv

I used to have post-orgasm shame everytime watching porn. But I don't think I've ever had it with audio erotica. I think that with porn, as we all know, you just jump straight into it, no "warm up"... just masturbating to act made me feel gross. We women need to be warmed up to it and we know that sex begins outside the bedroom! We need to feel seen, appreciated, desired, worshiped, validated, during and waaay before any physical sexual foreplay... and we get all that with most audio erotica. We get a story, and then the sexual tension before the act... even if it is the nastiest of the audios with tons of kinkiest shit and humiliation prior to the act, this building up to it is so important. Even if it is just a fake character in an audio that makes you feel desired and validate your fantasies, oh my gosh... I'll take that all day over sex with a real person that thinks all they have to do to get me in the mood is a little fingering and oral. 👎 I think that's why we're so obsessed with possessive, jealous, stalker characters too.. lol they make us feel appreciated, desired and because some of have dealt with low effort douchebags before, the idea of someone being unhealthily obsessed with you is so appealing lol Anyways, so that's why I don't think I've ever had any post orgasm shame with audio erotica. And also the fact that usually audio erotica pages are behind paywalls and communities composed of mostly women, they are a safe space where we can talk freely with no judgement and you find out that you are not alone. Lots of others share the same fantasies, fetches and kinks, and that is so important since for the longest time there was only porn which is made for men and we didn't have a space for us. These communities we've created have helped me a lot to stop feeling shame. 🙂

M

I guess I have no shame😂

TheirGirl

Honestly I used to have a really hard time not feeling shame afterwords but with audios and the aftercare portion it has helped me a lot to not feel gross with myself.

Hey Jamie

To be totally honest I’ve never even realized that was a thing. What it HAS helped me with, is saying much more appealing things during sex.

Nyyn Buub

Unfortunately for me I can't put myself in the shoes of the listener. I just imagine someone else experiencing these things and imagining how they might feel makes me happy. Also gives me a positive way to experience certain emotions when i feel too uncomfortable with myself or don't prioritize my sensuality. Other times it might make me sad to notice that I can't see myself in those ways. Either way, i listen and have good time. Not touching myself but just listening. Oh yea and the after care parts are the best for my shame. I don't even enjoy porn anymore. It makes me feel like I'm back to the innocent stage when I get excited by "whole" things again. Almost like when you first discover porn and you get happy from very soft core porn or just little details from people. That part is nice. Feel like a Virgin so I get way more pleasure with my husband cause I notice certain things and try things i fought i even liked.

JoeyHanna

Not to put my husband in a negative light, but he is just not a romantic person. He tries, but aftercare is something he struggles with. My sex drive is higher, I'm all around more emotional about sex, and aftercare helps me come down. I experience pretty sharp sub drops, and my husband doesn't always know how to settle me down. Erotic audios help me enjoy the whole experience, even post-orgasm moment. Where as that is usually the worst part of sex for me.

K

THIS! I understand my desires aren’t super realistic with aftercare and this community validates my fantasies and separates my sex drive as a human from my sex drive with my man

Amano

Post-orgasm shame has been part of the self-doubt and uncertainty I had to experience while navigating the terrain of aegosexuality a few years back. I used to feel the emptiness that followed my physical release. It's always overwhelming shrouded in a veil of shame and confusion. It eventually hit me that it had to do with the fact that I was unable to get enough emotional response from watching visual porn. Audio erotica, on the other hand, has helped me connect my physical arousal with emotional involvement by leaving more room for my imagination and providing a focus on aftercare. I really can't begin to describe how much an audio with long and tender aftercare means to me, especially after having a rough day. In this regard, I really appreciate how much effort BKS has put into creating long audios with amazing storylines and sweet aftercare, making them as immersive & soothing as possible ❤️

Nat 🌷 Rose

I don't think I've had post orgasm "shame" per se, but I've gotten off on some weird porn that made me question myself 🫣. I grew up in an ultra-religious household, like a lot of commenters here, but as an adult, I feel like this isn't something we should be ashamed of or else God would've have created it. Anyways, I love these audios because they allow me to hear something I never got from past partners which is the make out session before and the aftercare. I really missed out on the kissing, which is so intimate that they're really my favorite part of each one 💕

Doña Yayi

For me it happened after being alone for so many years after my beautiful and beloved husband's passing in 2011. My late husband and i were together since 1996. We were in high school i was 15 and my beloved angel was 17. We fell in love so young. He was a HUUUUGE pain in my ass a gigantic but beautiful aneurysm but as time went by he went from being my bully to my beloved forever ❤️❤️❤️❤️. We shared great times together and some not so great times lol and some very beautiful times that i still remember to this day. He was my first kiss, my first love and a very loving husband and father later in life. After his death in 2011, my whole world fell apart. I was just so torn and in so much pain because i lost the only person who made me feel so loved, appreciated, worshipped, beautiful no one else can make me feel that way. For many years i stayed alone and my priority will always be my babies. I dedícated my time to my twins i never took time for myself and as it should be because children always comes first!!!! In mid 2010s like 2014-2015 i started dating again, meeting new people exploring new things again. I was talking with someone at the time and he was a very wonderful man but my fears and insecurities dictated my heart and because of the fear of losing someone else i left him and til this day i have never seen him again. Now i have been alone all those many years. And yesss i have needs as anyone else but i was so scared to be with someone intimately because i just never let go of the love i have for my beloved husband even after his death. I felt scared of having someone touch me or love me. So yeaaahhh when i had a little itch i would go and look for some porn. Yes i watched a few videos but when i watch them i dunno....they just didnt make my imagination run 10,000 mph and i often felt ashamed of watching how women were being used and degraded in those films it just felt disgusting and really fake. Years later and this is back in 2020? 2021? Somewhere around there lol where i was looking for some ASMR audios on YouTube to help me relax at night because i have a hard time falling asleep. And in my recommendations guess who popped up!!!!!! BKS!!!!!!!! weeeelllll!!!!! 😊🥰❤️👏👏👏👏👏 Don BKS popped up in my recommendations and i said well? Lets give it a go!!!!! And my first audio i dont quite remember which one it was but i doooo remember it was my first time i heard our beloved Mr. Robinson and i said geeeeshhh this was good so imma go and subscribe to Don BKS on patreon!!!!!!! Hahaha so here i am!!!!! And may i say when i heard the first NSFW with Robinson GAAAAAWDSSSSS i was like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA " hahaha i was in shock first! But then i fell in love with the stories because its so different from the porn videos that just have no feeling and to me they are boring and yuck puaaaajjjj 🤢🤢🤢😝😝😝. The stories in this community are so fantastic just wonderful and there is always appreciation, love, worship, everything is consensual, the muse in the story is always treated with devotion and respect and is always taken care of and the aftercare ohhhh my heart its so beautiful!!!! Ohhhhh and the kinks that have been unlocked!!!! Just so many lol and i just want to try hahaha 😁😊😋❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥. And guess what else!!!! The stories helped me out alot to discover more my sexuality!!sexualidad!!! Explore more things that I would like and things i most likely wouldn’t lol. And now after all these years decided that its time to let my beloved rest in peace and start making wonderful new memories. I am talking to someone now and may i say he is the most wonderful man in the World and as esch day goes by my heart goes more pitter patter for him 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ my sexy silver fox boyfriend with cute dimples Thank you Don BKS for making me feel safe and comfortable here!!!!! And for making this community a no judgement zone here!!!! Everyone is free to express what they like here!!!!! And i am forever grateful to be a part of the beautiful sisterwives here!!!!! I love each and every one of you!!!!! Remember you are all, great!!!! You are all good!!! You are all wondeful!!!! You are all beautiful!!!! You are all strong and important!!!!! ❤️💋🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

Az

我并没有经历过这种羞耻,但每一次听完后总会特别空虚,剧本永远是剧本,现实并不会这么随我们的心愿去进行,但还是很感谢让我发现并加入了BKS这个家庭里为我的幻想多加了一份声音以及让我英语有了一些进步哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Brittjadeheart

Honestly, I don’t experience post O shame. I’ve had to learn about sexual health on my own since my own mom refused to have a talk with me and schools are somewhat useless. Masterbating was foreign to me cuz no one talked about it. I gained a lot of knowledge through talking and asking people about their own likes and dislikes in college and comparing them to my own experience. Unfortunately, I didn’t experience my first big O till I was in my late 20’s 🤦🏾‍♀️through masterbating (vibrator) So I don’t have any shame after my orgasm, I kinda feel like I need to play catch up from missing out for most of my life lmao!! Through these audios I’m learning about what new experiences or new kinks I may have an interest in and maybe one day I’ll experience it in real life!

PhoenixMoon

Agree. They put a lot of effort into their aftercare and I love it!

yellowbricks

adding robinson to the team of dreamboys.... he is a treat!

Claudine

I know I feel the exact same way. I can never see myself in the listener and sometimes it makes me sad too. I wish I could but I never seem to be able to touch myself while listening. OMG LOL I just realize why I never touch myself cause I can’t put myself in the listener shoes. It makes so much sense now lol ☺️

Jayde

Personally it came from faking so many orgasms and then being shamed for doing it myself. Now with BKS it has helped me become more confident in my own sexuality and know what I like and don’t like

tay.

i had it a while back, but never again. listening to radical religious leaders and fear mongers had me shook. but, finding a message based on love and not shame helped. oh, and great erotic books and audios. in short, we’re sexual beings and should act accordingly if we so wish. enjoy yourself 😘

LupaNera13!

I use to feel post orgam shame just watching any porn, not just the stuff that involved my personal kinks. Porn to me feels like a one trick pony that gets you to cum and very little else. Watching porn felt like I was chasing my orgasm, but not any overall sexual enjoyment. Audio erotica is like a full body high. I can " feel " what is being said and done because the VA and writer have done their homework and reflect a more realistic experience. This is especially for those of us who have experienced our kinks IRL. The devil is always in the details The check ins during sex , the aftercare , safe words etc..Audio erotica also feels more personal because of the stories being written by people and not some out of touch executive trying to make a buck off the bodies of actors. I found BKS on another app and ....let's just say I get.my daily dose and it helps a lot.

🎀Mimi🎀

BKS helped me understand my needs and set my standards higher. When I was younger I had online sext, call/video with guys I thought cared for me. I felt shame & guilty. I think it’s because I had them get off and I faked mines.😅 I was more of a people pleaser, daddy issues. But after years of healing and understanding my worth. I also learned from BKS, It also prevented me from getting into situationship with wrong guys.

Jules13

I have never experienced that

Cutie🖤DARK ROMANCE ⛓️🎃

So I do have a dom Daddy but we very far apart from eachother so when he dose come stay let's just say its intense BDSM play so once he leave around tea time the next day I settle in too more BKS AFTER CARE don't get me wrong my dom dose give some after care but I love lots cuddles praise after intense scene my hair played with so I don't feel the shame thanks to BKS you have made understand that being a submissive and having certain kinks and BDSM play is OK but I do feel shame when comes to my family as I know they never would understand so I keep this side hidden from them THANKYOU BKS FOR EVERYTHING ❤❤

Kate

I still do feel it because sex was always something taboo in our house and I'm not sure I had an intense orgasm with my partners. I think I really discovered what an O feels like, listening to your wonderful audios and play with some toys. I love it but feel ashamed mostly because I feel like a bit guilty towards my husband because I don't think I experienced it with him. I know he's open and I will try to talk to him but I find it hard because we're always a bit prude to talking about sex. Well... Gotta work on that 😅

T

Yes, I honestly have spend the longest time avoiding any sort of sexual stuff because it makes me feel really ashamed. Especially after solo sessions when there isn't anyone to reassure me that it's okay and I'm not a terrible person for enjoying it. I think that's where BKS has helped me the most - the aftercare really helps me feel safe and okay, even if it's just a voice. Honestly, you guys have no idea how much you've helped me feel safe in my own body. I really hope the VAs know that.

Nyyn Buub

Mystery solved Lol. It's more like listening to an erotic fiction novel but it's only the one sided dialog so it's fun for me

Tee 📚🌻🌙

I never lost my virginity till I was 19 and even then the big O wasn’t anything I experienced. Even when I played with myself I always found it so hard to get myself there. When I got with my first boyfriend it was the same I had to fake it never had a big O. I was 24 when i found BKS and after my first O listening to the amazing VA’s I felt shame that I did it alone. But the after care from VA’s are so comforting. I had a problem with after sex that when I had sex I always felt disconnected. I didn’t want the aftercare from a physical man. BKS was different and I don’t know why I just think safety of my own room. BKS taught it was ok to feel vulnerable after sex and to be taken care of. And this is what you should settle for and nothing else! My now husband is very much patient with me and the aftercare is nothing but perfect and the Os I’m grateful to the BKs team who taught me it’s ok to not have an experience in it and to love my own body and be patient with myself. That self gratification and with a partner is nothing to be shamed off ❤️

satogeto

It does, it really does. I am still tryna overcome the "shame" associated with sex and i didn't know that this is something that a lot of people relate to. Sex is and has always been a taboo topic therefore sex education was not a thing especially in a religious household. Im pretty sure i engaged in "risky behaviours" growing up and was exposed to porn at a fairly young age and since its never talked about my initial reaction to it everytime is to hide and feel ashamed. I didnt really expect how much impact it has and im just realizing it now as an adult. I dont think I ever experienced a "proper" orgasm be it with myself and my partner bc of the shame that comes quickly right after. The audios definitely helped me understand myself better and also lessen the guilt and shame post intercourse, i think it will take a while for me not to feel this but atleast i started somewhere

Pinkprincess_

I would LOVE a long aftercare audio. Perfect to fall asleep too!

Tianna Valdez

Honestly I’m very open to talk about sex and do sexual stuff BKS has open up about new positions and how much I needed to explore for my relationship

Sarah Gauthier

I never comment on posts but I feel like I can on this one, so here goes nothing ! I can't come by masturbating without any help, so I used to watch porn. But I used to feel a lot of shame after coming while watching it. It could have been because of the kink in the porn or just the O itself, but I would cry my eyes out after. I used to feel filthy and icky (in a bad way) even if I can talk about sex openly. And I never had an O other than by myself even if I'm not a virgin, so I associated that to feeling bad and wrong if that makes sense. But one day I found BKS on YouTube with a SFW audio I wanted to listen for sleeping and I just loved the voice and story. Then saw they had a NSFW Patreon and I remember thinking "maybe I could just listen to the aftercare part if the sexy part makes me feel icky". And that was it. Like, I couldn't help but to touch myself, the voice was so sexy and good. I rarely felt this aroused and it never felt THIS good to come before. I felt like it was okay to come, like it was required and I was doing good. The VAs makes it feel real and safe, whether it's a rough or soft audio, SFW or NSFW. I don't feel shame after coming to an audio of BKS. So really big thanks to BKS and all the VAs !! Ps: Sorry for any mistakes in my English, it's not my first language

roseforthethorns

I think it’s helping me. So much of listening to BKS is helping me to just get comfortable being able to think about and talk about sex in how it relates to me and my desires. I’ve always struggled to articulate what I want in that regard. And I definitely feel less shame listening to this than watching porn. It’s interesting that my brain separates them somewhat.

Aivani

My first experience with sex was forces, with a hand over my mouth and told to like it from my first BF. Yeah, not a great start. And it made me hate and fear sex for years. I had my first orgasem well in to my 20s, just faking it for the new BFs. For years I thought I was asexual, and then finding BDSM made me more ashamed and frightfull. Finding audio porn and then BKS that had consent, aftercare and just so much love changed everything! I am now VERY happily married, collar and squirting 😂❤️ BKS made my fantesys feel normal and good. It made me feel safe to just explore and have fun, alone and with someone. So thank you and keep up the good work! ❤️

Stephanie Cappelli

I’ve never had sex, I am 💯 a virgin at 20 years old. I used to masturbate with a homemade doll (using a jacket & some pillows to make a body & used a blanket & sock with a condom to make a dildo). Lived in a Christian family (& still live with my mom *I am Christian still* & have stopped masturbating for over a year now). Anyway, I want to wait until marriage but I’m starting to feel left out & awkward… these audios help me, in a way, to feel like I’m not weird. 😅

Daniela ✨

I quit watching porn years ago. For some reason I feel so much less shame when listening to BKS audios. I believe this is because I have healed and discovered sooooooo much about myself since joining this platform. My standards for what I need in a partner have raised significantly. Not just sexual standards but emotional intelligence standards as well. I used to be codependent in the past. I craved the presence of a man so much that I would lower my standards just to experience the feelings that these audios give me. But now when I feel that need I just listen to these audios and it satisfies me more than any man has 😂 My confidence is through the roof, my standards of men have also increased and so has my self love since listening to BKS. Particularly Mr. Gallo. So incredibly thankful that I found this community! Thank you BKS 🤗🥰❤️✨

Texasrose

I have always been a very sexual oriented person. I love to think about it, talk about and listen to what other people like and their kinks. But in the bedroom it has always been hard for me to ask for those things of what I want. I let the other person enjoy and act out their kinks. But for me I have always had a problem asking for my kinks or fantasies. After listening to BKS, I have a new look on life. I shouldn’t be ashamed for what I want or what I want to try. And I love it. My partner lovessss for me to explain what I want to try. That was always my fear that after I shared with them what I wanted that I would feel embarrassed and ashamed for what I like. I like to watch MMF bi porn, and before BKS I always had shame after I would cum from it. Thinkin I was weird to like porn and what I want to watch. I would be ashamed that I loved to cum so much. But now y’all’s audios have taught me so much to be confident and love love. Sex is such a wonderful thing when both people are honest and open. I’m having the best sex of my life with my partner because y’all taught me it’s okay to be kinky and be confident for what you like. Love yall a lot and love who I have become after listening to yall!

Lillith Ember

I'm glad you no longer feel as alone. I used to try and hide my past because I hated it so much, but as I've started to share it more I've been able to find so many who have gone through the same (or similar), who like us thought they were alone. So keep your chin up and remember, we are so much better than the circumstances we've been through and we are not alone! 🫂

Bornonasnowyday

Omg yes!! I thought I was the only one who thought about this. I think the key is about how immersed I am in the experience of getting pleasure. Porn just makes me feel like I'm the 3rd person, while audios make me feel like I'm the part of the process.

Jo

I am new in listening audio erotica and BKS has opened a torally new world for me. I don't feel like weirdo third wheel secretly looking over and gettin aroused. No more post o shame! ❤️🌹❤️

Miss Bee

For me BKS has been more of a release on the lock I kept on myself. Unfortunately being SA'd as a child I locked up that side of me for a long time. BKS helped me to realize its okay to want/explore things and not be ashamed of it.

Lillith Ember

Yes! Thank you for putting it into words cuz that was my exact feelings as well when it comes to watching vs listening.

marie sy

I think what really blocked me , is the social equivalent of being seen as the slut. What would scare me the most or make me feel like I was doing something wrong, was because "our Kinks" isn't seen as normal in a societal, religious or beliefs reason. And gives that question of what is wrong with me 😅 which shouldn't be a question in the first place ... Being submissive or being a Dom just means that it's a part of you... Nobody is gonna hate u because u don't like minth ice cream for example 🤣🤣🤣 that's why I love what u guys are doing your giving a platform to women (or men or the between the lines 🌈🥰) to fantasize and hope to get that Dom and sub's connection ❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋

Opal

I've only really felt shame after masturbating when I'd watch mainstream porn. It tends to be really aggressive and void of emotion but it got be off quickly and without much effort. But I became so disconnected from my body and from my pleasure I couldn't keep watching it. I've tried other erotic audios but these are the first that place me (the listener) at the center of the story. The stories are so engaging with emphasis on consent and aftercare. I can feel safe and in touch with my pleasure without having to take "shortcuts" to come. BKS has so much more of what I like than most porn sites so I'm always satisfied (even if I don't orgasm).

Eris

I know this isn't the place to post this, but I don't know any other way to message Rob.... Can we get an audio of the male VA losing his V-card to the listener?

🍒NoirèCherisè 🍒

I like that BKS seems personalised ... I feel its just me and the VA. I dont feel like I'm intruding and also because it's just the VA it's great to not have another voice 'speak for me as it were. I dont like watching porn as ifeel like im watching peoples misery, and if i do its mostly solo males .Also there's something about women moaning when doing porn that irritates me so I definitely don't want to hear that in an audio. I just wish BKS did story lines that included mature characters like 40s 50s + I'm 52 and I feel uncomfortable trying to get off on an audio where the character age range is college or 30s . It's interesting because there's audios here where the male is older ... but its never the male younger or both mature. It kinda feels a little like there is no space for older female listeners. That's the only thing that makes me feel a little uncomfortable... like here I am finally comfortable with my body and what i like sexually and theres really no audio senerio i can really immerse myself in. I dont want to get off on a college guy, or professor ( I mean sometimes yes) but why can't it be two professors or male younger student. 🤔 . At this stage of my life I don't wanna feel the ick after masturbating to an audio with a story line of ...basically to me ... although adults ..but still very young people to me Does that make sense ?

Grapejuice

I don’t know if you’ve listened to it yet but there’s one that was posted a while ago with that happening called “Help! There’s a Knight in my kitchen” with Robinson as the VA. Personally one of my favorites!

Auttie

Same

Auttie

I am a incest survivor the erotic audios helped me reclaim my body from the post shame I had every time I would masterbate The audios helped me feel better about having an O and figuring out what I liked thanks so much I love BKS!

Olga Cojulun

The stories feel natural and realistic to a degree. I think the shame comes from watching mainstream porn bc they're just going at it like animals most of the time. It doesn't start nor end in a realistic or natural way. But the audios engage you more so you feel like the normal person you are, plus it emphasizes on women pleasure sometimes or realistically both the male and female. Mainstream porn tends to be more catered to men as it's usually always more aggressive and fake. Even the at home porn videos just feel like you're intruding into someone else's personal time. Additionally no visuals just helps me imagine it's a plausible scenario in general

Ameerah Woods

Oh mama, I’m so sorry. I’m glad that you’re healing.

Eris

I will check that out. I saw it but the premise didn't immediately grab my attention

Auttie

Thanks

kch1tog3

I have dealt with porn addiction since i was a young teen. It was very influenced by my hypersexuality disorder, which stemmed from childhood sexual trauma. As a young girl, it felt truly shameful to carry. Porn was a coping mechanism, but a very unhealthy one. Eventually it just didn’t have the same excitement anymore. I knew desensitization was a repercussion to my frequent use, and I just felt so sexually broken. When I discovered erotic audios, it made me feel excited again. I’ve been listening to different va’s for years, and it is yet to become boring. The versatility and creativity allows it to never get old. It’s a safer alternative to heal myself and explore sexuality again.

Theresa ZIMMER

I too struggle with CSA. I’ve been alone a very long time bc I was terrified of being hurt that way as a grown woman. Finding BKS has helped me explore my sexuality and figure out what I like, feel comfortable with. A point of reference in some ways when I didn’t have any or felt safe to talk about it with someone. Even a therapist. I’ve had such sexual healing in the last 6 months. I’m really grateful. Now if I could move on into dating that’d be great.

Bye bye…for now.

I think you'll get there eventually and I'm glad that you found BKS too. 😊 It's one of those heart warming things when something like simple storytelling can help heal people.

Anima

I believe erotic audios have the erotism that porn or movies like 50 shades of Gray can't show on display. And that erotism doesn't make you feel shame... It feels natural.

PhoenixMoon

That would be so good. A long bath or shower, massage, and put to sleep, or just resting after.

Lydia

I've had mainstream video porn used as a weapon against me in a "everybody likes this, you DON'T like this?? This is what a normal sexual encounter LOOKS LIKE wtf is wrong with you?? if watching this makes you feel afraid, or ashamed, or feel wrong then something is wrong **with you**" way so it's not enjoyable and has a lot of really terrible negative feelings personally for me, it's also really skewed and placed a lot of fear and emotional burden on looking for an IRL partner because the ingrained/perceived expectation is something I don't want to (or think I am even capable of) providing...especially right away. Audios give me the freedom to imagine something different and in the case of BKS audios actually place emphasis on things like enjoyment and connection. They also give me the ability to stay IN MY BODY and feel what is happening...where mainstream porn often causes me to fully shut down and dissociate from the experience.

Jace

Certain kinks and/or “toxic” storylines have absolutely opened up conversations for me to have with my partner, if not my therapist. There’s a level of intimacy and that I feel audio erotica has provided me without feeling weirdly attracted to yet unattached to an adult star’s performance in traditional visual pornography; I feel like I can safely navigate these experiences here! I do greatly appreciate the writers and the impromptu works of the voice actors here for including check in points and natural levels of highs and lows in these dialogues and alternate universe scenarios. I feel these allow me to process how I’m mentally and physically reacting to certain cues or concepts without feeling locked into an intense adult film that’s all fantasy no safety if that makes sense.

WinterRose

Oh yes, it's one of my favorites of Robinson. I think you'll enjoy it.

Laurelyn

Totally makes sense and it's something I noticed as well... a lot of younger aged audios but very little that's for a more mature audience. I still feel connected to the VA, but getting out of the 20's age range and into 30s or 40s even occasionally, would be nice. I do wonder whether the writers are younger and have a harder time identifying with an older group? Maybe what's missing are the older writers - but I'm new to BKS so I admit I don't know much about it yet. :-)

Sara

I 100% have - masturbatoon pre relationship - and yes the audios helped! Especially any after care, let me know that all was right with the world. Now with my boyfriend I feel utterly free to feel what I feel, and he’s the perfect support system for afterwards too :)

Canadian wanderer

Yes I believe it massively does. I always felt ‘dirty’ for watching porn as it always came across as a ‘male’ thing to do and it was always just quick release and that was it. With audio erotica especially BKS the story draws you in, it feels like you are in the centre and it allows me to have those feelings rush over me that I don’t necessarily get from my husband.

ami j

some of it does, yeah. especially ones eith aftercare because it makes me feel cared for after being "used".. I sometimes cry after finishing but not when I listen to certain audios I find myself smiling and laughing instead. I like alot of thr aftercare in the scripts Mr. Robinson gets, the way he VAs it really makes it sound like he is speaking to someone he loves, especially when he gets a playful script. those are the best ones for me for my post O shame. someone seemingly happy and giddy about this fantasy scenario we conducted makes me happy instead of "who tf likes stuff like this" kind of ordeal.

Gabby

hi van van n i’m b

fl1pandsw1tch

This is an actual thing?! I’m so glad because there’s been a few times I’ve gone down various rabbit holes, came, and then was like ‘wait, wtf?!’ after… I wouldn’t rly say audio erotica has helped with it. But it’s nice to have learnt that it’s a common occurrence through this.

Yuki

Hmmm... I listen to audio eroticas as part of "research" or sorts because I write but I do think that audio Eros is therapeutic to some... like when you have a kink you can't say out loud or you're the type to get satisfied with audio when you can't have the real thing. For me specifically, I don't feel any post shame. You do it very artistically and natural that the listener knows its part of life. But I think differently than most of my peers so I don't know

Missy Brie

Can confirm in my personal experience that I've had post orgasm shame with traditional porn a few times but never with audio erotica

Verachia

I have been sa survivor once with my cousin as a child and then later on with my ex best friend... I have done therapy to overcome the trauma, and I've gotten to the age where I feel gross after watching porn. It's so disconnected. These audios feel safe, emotionally my world runs wild and I'm satiated. It's also scratched a need to not think being spoken to in the most degrading way while feeling utterly loved and appreciated all at the same time.

Mavka Skaðisdottir

BKS in particular-along with Badjhur - are like exposure therapy. It’s the only safe way I have of desensitization to triggers like touching or oral sex (though the overwhelming amount of slapping and spanking could do with being taken down several notches! Why is there so much violence involved in these scripts? That stuff scares me and makes me not want to try dating again.) I do feel hollow or emotionless or ashamed after an O most of the time- and more often than not it its because I’ve never been able to finish with a partner IRL, something that’s gotten me verbally or physically abused by almost every partner I’ve ever had save for maybe two. Audio erotica helps me feel a little better, especially the ones where there’s more aftercare involved. I’ve never gotten aftercare irl. Sadly my only experiences with it are through BKS & Badjhur and some spicy books.

Alisa Strickland

I’ve actually felt alot of shame around sex in general for most of my life (I’m 28) though I’ve always known when I did have sex I liked it on the kinkier rougher side, which to me felt like a nightmare. When I would watch more visual porn I always felt dirty after. And I hated it. Finding audio had been both the biggest confidence boost and allowed me to discover myself at my own pace. Now audio and smut are the only forms of porn I consume.

Mythic Kitten

I tried and didn’t like visual porn but bks has really given me an amazing outlet along with a side of great stories!

Beth

❤️ I also don't like the spanking.

Beth

I hope you find someone who will give you what you need.

Emilia

It helps a lot

CuriosityPJ

Between inappropriate childhood experiences and society’s shaming of women for being sexual, I have suffered from sexual shame for a very long time. My favourite BKS audios are the ones that take female sexuality seriously and treat it like the normal trait that it is. Overcoming my shame is still a work in progress but BKS has certainly helped. I get to vicariously explore different sexual activities without shame or embarrassment. My only complaint is that so many audios (not just by BKS) have the guy surprised or degrading the woman for being “wet”. Why must they call her dirty/naughty/a slut for being turned on? Why are men the only ones allowed to be ready to have sex?