October 29 Update (Patreon)

We begin with another meme spontaneously created by Annikath! If you didn't see, on her own Discord she counted which TLS characters have the highest amount of art. Though Yarra has the most scenes currently in-game, Qum came in first due to the sheer amount of fanart. ^-^ If you use Discord, you can click over to see the complete top ten collages.

Unfortunately, that's going to be the last pink and fluffy part of this post. To respond to those who have asked about the publishing opportunity, it sadly didn't go through. Won't lie, that's discouraging.

It wasn't an issue of sales/reviews/platform - I want to thank everyone who left reviews and has generally supported me. It also wasn't (apparently) an issue of quality, as the publishing people were complimentary/evaluative in far more detail than they would have needed to be for a rejection.

The fundamental issue seemed to be the commercial appeal of the book, and while that's not the worst imaginable rejection, it hits me right in one of my personal weaknesses. Now, I worry this could seem lacking in self-awareness being posted on a Patreon of people supporting my work, but this is my eternal frustration as a creator. I can create something I think is good, I can (generally) create something other people think is good, but I feel cursed when it comes to doing both at once.

Maybe I'm deep into first world artist problems, but it's demotivating as a creator to have people assume I was trying to create something that I don't like and just doing a poor job of it, like I'm an ape screeching and whacking a typewriter. Now, the industry professionals were far more thoughtful than your average opinionated internet rando, but on a fundamental level there were still points where it was what I loved about the concept that was the obstacle. I could have done ten times as much work on editing/revision and it wouldn't have made a difference.

Of course everyone has their favorite story about a book that was rejected dozens of times before going on to become an acclaimed bestseller. This is a setback for me, though. Of all the parts of work I've complained about, from promotion to networking, getting an agent is the one I find least pleasant. My past work got me over many of the unpleasant hurdles, but I couldn't close the deal at the last step, so starting over sounds exhausting.

Anyway... look, I'm a professional. I don't stop working due to my mood and I'm still making progress on the next TLS update. But I have been pushing for this entire week and I'm tired. Normally at this point I might try a palette cleanser project, but I don't feel like it this time.

I realize I'm in a fortunate position. Through whatever combination of luck and work, I've chained together enough successes the ensure I can keep creating forever. So many authors can't say that, and few have the kind of response I've found with TLS. This may be a setback to some of my goals, but there's no institution/authority that can get rid of me anymore. For those of you who enjoy my work, hopefully that's a good thing. ^-^

This post isn't requesting sympathy, just keeping everyone updated because people have asked. If you want to encourage me... do you know any recent JRPGs that aimed for retro sensibilities with modern features? In the vein of Chained Echoes or Sea of Stars. This intense month didn't leave much time for gaming and I could use a nice RPG right now.