Too Old to Be Trick-or-Treating (Patreon)

She and her friends were a little drunk on their way back from a Halloween party. They saw a farmhouse up ahead with Halloween decorations. The lights were still on. The driver pulled over. They dared her to go trick-or-treat.

The farmer never got trick-or-treaters. He was so excited to hear his doorbell ring even though it was pretty late. He opened the door and his excitement became irritation. A drunk twentysomething girl was standing on his porch.

"Aren't you a little too old to be trick-or-treating, miss?" he said sternly. "Well, I got something for you. One sec."

'Tonight... you don't get a treat. You get a trick', he thought to himself.

The farmer came back with a carrot. "Here ya go. You don't need candy. Eat this and you'll be healthy as a horse."