Fate's Wild Card Ch.34 (Released) (Patreon)

Pryce makes a quick decision and simply runs to the bathroom not before grabbing his clothes he left on the floor, ignoring Ruby's sleepy confusion completely. He can take care of everything after he cleans himself. Sucks to be the person waiting outside, and probably Ruby won't answer the door in her half-asleep state, anyway.

He turns on the water and goes straight into it without even tempering it first, a cold freezing shower hitting his skin like needles. He hisses through his teeth but scrubs himself down with lots of soap and shampoo, making sure to wash every inch twice over.

Then he quickly dried himself and grabbed the deodorant, making sure to spray it all over his body.

That should cover it, and he is thankful that he is the only faunus in the team otherwise they would notice the scent of sex on him and it would be... a drag to explain.

So after that he changes into his uniform since there's a lecture today and finally exits the bathroom to find Ruby sitting on the bed half asleep, swaying slightly like she might topple over.

That was lucky it seems the person wasn't knocking too much to fully waken her.

Ruby mumbles something and drops back onto the bed with a soft thump, already drifting back to sleep.

Well, it was 5:30 AM after all. Way too early for anyone sane to be awake.

So he has some wiggle room before Pyrrha and Weiss wake up who have a schedule. Finally, he moves to open the door, preparing to meet the asshole who could knock this early.

And a pair of big green eyes greet him on the other side.

"SALUTATIONS!"

Pryce instantly stepped forth and closed the door behind him because why was she so loud?!

"What the hell?!" he hisses, keeping his voice low. "Do you know what time it is? People are sleeping!"

Well, that’s just a good excuse because he really doesn't want his team to wake up and ask questions.

The ginger girl just looks confused, her head tilting in curiosity. "But it's just common practice to greet a fellow student loud and clear when meeting! That's what my research indicates is proper social protocol! Volume demonstrates enthusiasm and friendliness!"

What?

He shakes his head. "Okay, first-who are you? And second, why are you knocking on my door so early in the morning?"

In his thoughts, he was worried it was actually a teacher or somebody else with authority. Not... whoever this girl dressed in a rather old dress is.

"Oh! Well, it's because I saw you and that bunny faunus having so much fun when I was counting grass last night!" the girl says brightly. "It was very fascinating to observe!"

Pryce short-circuits for a moment, his rabbit ears standing straight up.

"What?"

"I saw you and that rabbit faunus girl together having a lot of fun even if it was a little rough judging by how you were grunting and roaring, but still lots of fun! So I had to come to ask you about it since you were the closest!" She beams at him like she just said the most normal thing in the world, clasping her hands together excitedly.

Pryce feels his face heat up, his ears flattening against his head. "I—what—you were—"

"I'm Penny, by the way! Penny Polendina!" She extends her hand enthusiastically. "It's sensational to meet you!"

Pryce stares at her hand for a moment before mechanically shaking it. "Pryce. Pryce Locke. And you were... counting grass? At night?"

Why did she even mention that?

"Yes!" Penny nods vigorously, her short orange hair bouncing. "Assistant Amber sent me to count grass, so I did! She said 'please,' so it was good to give favor to people because that's normal people's behavior! I'm still learning proper social interactions, you see. It's very important to understand how people interact before making friends!"

"You... counted grass. Because someone asked you to." Pryce's brain is struggling to keep up. And because of that dumb activity she caught him and Velvet fucking out in the open.

"Precisely! I counted 47,832 blades of grass in the courtyard garden section before I noticed you and your female friend!" Penny says proudly, her chest puffing out. "Though I had to restart my count three times because you two were being quite... energetic? Is that the right word? And it was distracting. There was a lot of noise!"

Okay, he is actually feeling embarrassed now, for some reason. "Listen, Penny…"

"So I wanted to ask you: what kind of fun were you having? It seemed very physical and athletic! Was it a new type of training exercise? Combat practice? You were both making very interesting sounds and moving in patterns I've never observed before in my combat studies an-"

Huh?

"Do you know what you were watching?" He interrupted because he wanted confirmation of what he jus heard.

"Not really! That's why I'm asking you, Pryce!" Penny answers, the smile never leaving her. "I've been studying a lot, but I don't have this particular activity in my books! Also why being naked too? Even if we have aura, being naked on the outside doesn't seem hygienic or comfortable. Wouldn't clothes provide better protection against the elements?"

Pryce facepalms as the initial embarrassment vanishes and feeling another weight on his shoulder settle in because somehow another innocent girl who didn't know what sex is appeared. "Penny, are you from Atlas?"

That was the only explanation he could come up with.

Penny gasps before her face twists into a grin. "YES! How did you know?! You have amazing deduction skills, Pryce! I'm indeed from Atlas as a transfer student for this year to join you all in activities and other normal activities students should do! Father said it would be good for my social development!"

Neo was right… Atlesian girls are crazy. Was this some sort of curse for kissing Weiss? Now that he bit the Atlesian fruit now he is cursed with more Atlesian girls coming to get a piece of him?

"Tone it down." He quickly chastises.

"OKAY! I can understand that the volume that I'm currently speaking might be too loud to your rabbit's ears so I will tone it down from now on!" Penny nods enthusiastically, though her voice is only marginally quieter.

"Also!" Penny continues, puffing her chest again. "I recorded the entire encounter so I could study it later and understand more about this activity! I wanted to make sure I captured all the details for proper analysis. Specially for the girl reactio-"

"Wait, you WHAT?!" Pryce's ears shoot straight up again. "Are you trying to blackmail me?!"

The fuck is wrong with this girl?!

Penny gasps, her eyes going wide with horror as she shakes her head vigorously. "What?! No! I would never do something bad like that! That would be terrible! I just want to learn more about what you were doing with your kin! Scientific observation and data collection are important for understanding social behaviors I haven't encountered before!"

Pryce facepalms and remembers that yes, she doesn't know what sex is, just like Weiss was clueless about it.

But at least he has experience now and will fix this before it becomes a problem later on, this time the right way. He's not making the same mistakes he made with Weiss.

But much to his dismay the door opens, revealing Ruby looking a little annoyed, her silver eyes squinting at them. "What's with the commotion? Some of us are trying to sleep..."

"SALUTATIONS!" Penny greets Ruby with the same enthusiasm, which snaps her to full attention.

"Umm, hi?" Ruby blinks, suddenly more awake. "Who are you?"

"I'm Penny Polendina! It's sensational to meet you!" Penny extends her hand eagerly. "I apologize for my speaking volume but I am so excited to learn about what Pryce was doing with that other—"

Pryce simply interjects, grabbing Penny's arm. "I will take care of it. Go back to sleep, Ruby. I'll catch you guys up at breakfast."

Ruby is confused, her silver eyes darting between them, but says, "Okay... see you later, Pryce and Penny?" She sounds uncertain.

But Pryce didn’t care at that point as he kept dragging Penny away from the door, which she is surprisingly heavy for her size, he had to put some effort.

"This is so exciting! Where are we going, friend Pryce?!" Penny asks brightly as she's pulled along.

Pryce drags the eager girl to an empty hallway far from his dorm, his ears twitching and swiveling as he listens carefully for any sign of nearby students who for some reason might be early risers. Nothing. Just the quiet hum of the building's ventilation and the distant sound of someone's alarm going off several floors away.

Finally satisfied they're alone, he releases her arm and turns to face her.

"Listen, Penny," he starts, keeping his voice low. "You shouldn't talk about what you saw yesterday since it was supposed to be a secret between special friends. Private. Understand?"

Well, Velvet was a spontaneous friend with benefits.

Penny tilts her head, her green eyes bright with curiosity. "Special friends? What makes friends special versus regular friends? Is there a classification system? And why must it be secret if it looked like fun? Don't people share fun activities with others? That's how friendship bonding works according to my research!"

Pryce feels a headache forming behind his eyes. "It's just... it's different, okay? Some things are meant to be private."

"But why?" Penny asks earnestly, pulling out a small notepad from seemingly nowhere; seriously, where did that come from? "I'm trying to understand human social customs to make friends. If something is enjoyable, wouldn't share knowledge about it help others? That seems like good friend behavior! Friends share information!"

"It's complicated…"

"Is it because you were both naked? Does clothing status determine privacy requirements?" Penny's pen is poised over her notepad, ready to document everything. "Or is it the physical activity? The sounds? I noticed there was a lot of physical exertion and vocal expressions that seemed to indicate either pleasure or distress; I couldn't determine which from my observation point."

Pryce groans, rubbing his face with both hands. He needs to just rip the bandaid off.

"It's sex, Penny. What you saw was sex. And it's a private thing," he says bluntly, his ears flattening against his head. "While I don't really mind the public that much, I'm pretty sure Velvet would mind and be very upset if you started talking about it to everyone, especially that video recording. You don't want to make people angry or upset, right? You want them to like you and be friendly?"

Penny's eyes widen with understanding, and she gasps. "Oh! I don't want to make people upset! That would be terrible! Making friends is very important to me and making them angry would be counterproductive to friendship! I've read that trust and respect are foundational to friendship bonds!"

"Exactly, so—"

"But wait," Penny interrupts, her brow furrowing in concentration as she taps her pen against her chin. "Sex? But sex is just a form of reproduction between animals, although it is called mating in zoological contexts. Were you trying to make a baby? Is Velvet pregnant now? Should I congratulate you both? Do I need to prepare gifts? What's the appropriate gift-giving protocol for new parents?"

So she knows what sex is but again why is it just like Weiss' knowledge?! She also knew about sexual reproduction with animals but not with humans?!

And yes, he bred her…

"No," he responds quickly, suppressing that idiotic thought that his brain conjured up. "It's just for fun. And I really can't believe I have to explain sex to another girl from Atlas. What the hell are your teachers even doing?"

Better change careers and become a sex-ed teacher at Atlas.

"For fun?" Penny's eyes light up with fascination, practically glowing. "So it serves multiple purposes! Reproduction AND recreation! That's very efficient! Sensational, even! No worries, fellow student Pryce! You can tell me everything about it! I would love to learn if this helps me to make more friends! Understanding human bonding activities is essential for proper social integration!"

She flips to a new page in her notepad, pen ready to document.

Pryce just stares at the girl, especially her enthusiasm and how she was taking things. Was she slow or something? How could someone be this innocent and literal? It's like she was built in a lab without any exposure to normal human/faunus interaction.

"Penny, I don't think—"

"This is so sensational!" Penny continues, scribbling notes rapidly, her handwriting surprisingly neat despite the speed. "I've read about biological reproduction in animals, but the applications of human on human for social bonding contexts is an entirely new field of study! For instance, what determines when this activity occurs? Is there a schedule? Do you need special equipment beyond the removal of clothing? You mentioned it was for fun—what specifically makes it fun? Is it the physical exertion? The sounds? The privacy aspect?"

Pryce takes a deep breath to calm himself before he sets out to slowly explain to this overly enthusiastic girl everything he knows about sex and casual sex. And he cannot help but feel like an idiot as well, standing in an empty hallway so early explaining the birds and the bees to a girl who counts grass the entire night.

He keeps it clinical, factual, trying to ignore how her pen never stops moving across the page. He explains the biological mechanics, the emotional components, the importance of consent and privacy, why people don't talk about it openly, why it's considered intimate.

Penny absorbs it all, occasionally asking clarifying questions that make him want to bang his head against the wall.

"Friend Pryce, could you teach me more? I mean in the practical field, of course! Theoretical knowledge is important, but hands-on learning is essential for true understanding! That's what Father always says about combat training, and this seems similar in terms of physical activity and coordination!"

"...What?"

"Well, you seem very knowledgeable about this subject!" Penny says brightly, completely oblivious to his reaction as she closes her notepad with a satisfied snap. "And you demonstrated excellent technique from what I observed! Although, you mentioned this is between special friends, so first we must become friends! So let me ask you: do you want to be my friend?! And then become special friends?!"

Pryce opens his mouth. 

Closes it. 

Opens it again. 

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Atlesian girls?!