Shards of Reminisce Ch.74 (Patreon)

The hammer rings out in steady rhythm as I work the chestplate, smoothing out the last of the imperfections in the metal surface. These are the finishing touches.

A couple more strikes and I finally set the hammer down, shaking my hand to loosen up my wrist before picking up a cloth and rubbing the surface in slow circles, clearing away the grime, soot, and dust that’s still sticking on the steel. Naturally, the metal gradually begins to shine under my hands, catching the forge light and revealing a reflection.

And then my reflection stares back at me.

I blink.

And for just a moment, a pair of mismatched eyes look back from the polished surface instead of my own. There and gone in the same instant, replaced by familiar black irises that I know belong to me.

I stare at my actual reflection for a long second after that.

‘Stupid.’

I still don’t understand why my brain keeps doing that, the first time happened back at Patch months ago. Yet it keeps playing these stupid tricks, flashing me images that aren’t there and yanking them away before I can get a proper look at them. It infuriates me every single time, and no matter how many times it happens, it never gets easier to brush off. Especially not after everything that happened down in that dungeon, which only complicates things for me.

So after that weird moment, I set the dirty rag down with a sigh.

But I won’t let that thing put me down, especially in this moment of triumph for my new achievement.

I lift the now polished chestplate carefully and carry it to the metallic rack, settling it into place with both hands. Then I step back and look at everything assembled together for the first time, as the set is now complete.

The white shield is first, Jeanne’s golden semi-circular crest worked into the face of it. It’s a semi-mechashift design, meaning it can transform to function as a sheathe when needed, or a heavy stick if she feels like beating something with a large club instead. Of course, I didn’t build or design the mechashift component myself. That part was Master Tusk’s domain entirely: the mechanisms, the assembly, the precise engineering, and whatever powers it or triggers it. I just handled the metal stuff, such as I forged the sheets and shaped them to spec.

Now that chestplate sits on the rack, already gleaming.

The shoulder guards next. Then the remaining arm pieces, each one placed with care.

I step back two full paces when I’m done.

I pull my goggles up onto my forehead, cross my arms, and just look at it.

The full set, assembled and waiting. White coloration, same as her last armor because the white color just fit her really well.

I smirk.

It took longer than I expected. More practice runs than I want to admit, but I finished it. Just like I promised.

She’s going to lose her mind when she sees it.

And beyond the aesthetics, the numbers are what actually matter. All pieces combined give a plus 10 STR, plus 8 END, plus 10 defense, and 200 additional HP when worn as a full set. The shield adds another plus 3 STR and a flat 100 HP on top of that. Jeanne doesn’t have a gamer system like me, but the stat boosts still work on her regardless of that. I don’t know exactly how strong she is physically at baseline, we didn’t actually test it but this will be a big jump above whatever that number currently is. Enough that I’m genuinely curious to see that new strength at work, maybe she’ll be able to lift a person with one arm now.

Or maybe lift a car? That would actually be cool to see.

Besides this, compared to the cobbled-together replacement pieces she has been working with since her old armor turned to dust in the dungeon, this is going to feel like an entirely different body since it’s different to her old set.

The timing is also perfect since she just finished midterms and passed, which makes this the right moment for a proper celebratory gift, after she already did the small celebration with her team. The big chocolate cake (with a presumptuous name) is already freshly baked and waiting in my inventory.

It might look that I’m showing some favoritism but not really.

Neo is almost always with me, so we do lots of things together, and that includes gifts or making her things.

And for Levi’s reward for passing her midterms with distinction, she only wanted a mini-concert for herself alone. Which I gave her, along with a generous supply of rice rolls, because she loves those and I know better than to show up empty-handed. Also, baking her lots of sweets.

That gives me pause.

I rub my chin, staring at the assembled armor without really seeing it anymore, and remember something.

I should introduce them to each other. Not Neo, obviously. Not now and probably not ever, because I just know that meeting would end in disaster, especially for Levi who has done nothing to deserve to be on the receiving end of Neo’s attention.

But Jeanne and Levi? Those two would get along. I’m almost certain of it since they’re both earnest girls, and they’d probably enjoy each other’s company, so we could plan outings and dates with the three of us. Walks through the city, big meals, the arcade, whatever came up.

That’s when a great image forms in my head. The three of us walking down some avenue together, my women flanking me and resting their heads on my shoulders, laughing at something one of them said, the afternoon light doing whatever the afternoon light does.

The corner of my mouth pulls upward.

Yeah. That would be a nice… perfect sight.

Especially if I could arrange for a thre-

The door swings open behind me.

I look over my shoulder to find Master Tusk stepping into the forge room. His eyes do a quick sweep of the space before landing on the armor rack, and he stops walking and blinks a couple times.

“Oh…” A clear surprise crosses his face as he points at the armor. “You actually finished your little project.”

I merely gave him a thumbs-up in response.

The blacksmith master crosses the room toward the rack, stroking his chin as he leans closer with a scrutinizing gaze. He examines my craft for a while before his hands start moving and feeling all over the surface, a thumb running along the edge where two plates meet, fingers checking the joins at the shoulder guards, eyes checking from top to bottom.

The man stays silent for a long while, and myself standing there suddenly feeling a little awkward, waiting for him to finish and give his verdict.

But when I thought he was done, he began circling the armor and began the same process from the other side but I could only stay quiet and be patient with the man.

“Well, I’ll be damned…” he says finally holding his head in surprise as he turns to look at me with his mouth hanging open. “You actually learned to forge armor in under a month.” He shakes his head once. “And you were a complete greenhorn when you walked in here a few months ago.”

“I told you I was a fast learner.” I smirk.

“Boy.” He turns to face me fully, crossing his arms. “There is a fast learner, and then there is you. Learning to craft armor took me a minimum of two years AFTER I had the basics of metalwork down which took me an entire YEAR, and I had my old master standing over my shoulder the entire time, correcting every mistake in real time.” He shakes his head again, slower this time. “When I agreed to let you use my forge for this… project, I genuinely expected to come in here and find a pile of scrap and a damaged forge to clean up so I could explain it to you about not rushing things.”

“Oi.”

“But...” He crosses the workshop and claps a hand onto my shoulder, gripping it with firmness. “I take my words back. This is good work… No... This is amazing work, fantastic work. It would be an insult to call this beginner’s luck.” He squeezes my shoulder once. “Congratulations, Ma’iq. You have a bright future as a blacksmith if you want one.”

I blink before I smile and look away, scratching my cheek with one finger, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed by the high praise. I guess I’m not accustomed to this much, but it feels nice.

“T-Thanks, Master Tusk.”

But becoming a master blacksmith and dedicating my life to this craft is not the plan. I know what I’m building toward, and it isn’t a forge. But well, I’m a journeyman Blacksmith so it’s a title that I will carry with my head high.

I earned this one.

“Now…” He releases my shoulder and jerks his head toward the back of the workshop. “Come on. Help me shift some ingot boxes before you get too proud of yourself. Complacency is the biggest killer for people like us, we must always strive to do better than the last.”

That can be applied to so many things.

“Sure, Master Tusk.”

I roll my sleeves back up and follow him, sparing one last look at the armor rack before I go.

Yeah, Jeanne’s going to love it.

---------------------------------------------------------

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

“Are we close?”

“Jeanne.”

“Okay, okay.” A giggle escapes her anyway. “I’m just asking. We’ve been walking for a long time.”

“It wasn’t even five minutes.”

“Those were very long five minutes.”

Nonetheless, I keep my hand firmly over her eyes, guiding her forward with my other hand at her shoulder, making sure she doesn’t walk into anything or trip over.

“Is it food?”

“No.”

“Ma’iq, don’t be a jerk.”

“Patience is a virtue.”

“You are the last person who should be saying that.”

“And yet, here we are.”

She laughs at that. I open the door to my workshop leading to the basement, and we carefully navigate the stairs together.

“Okay…” I say, slowing her to a stop in front of her new armor set and gift. “We’re here.”

“Can I look now?”

“With a countdown.”

Jeanne perks up immediately. “Oh! Okay, okay. Together?”

“Together.”

“Three…” We start in unison.

“Two.”

“One!”

I quickly lift my hand from her eyes.

Jeanne gasps and goes completely still.

Then, slowly, she walks toward the armor rack with one hand reaching out, as if she has to touch it to confirm it’s real. Her fingers trail along the surface of the chestplate first, tracing every edge and curve. She even traces the golden crest on her shield, following the lines carefully with a fingertip.

My work definitely impressed her.

Then the knightess turns around, and before I can say a single word, she closes the distance between us, cups my face in both hands, and kisses me.

My woman pulls back after a while, still holding my face, and looks at me with a dopey grin spreading wide across hers. “Thank you, Ma’iq. This is... this is incredible. I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I glance toward the rack. “I promised to make you armor, so...” I shrug. “I made you a very cool armor.”

And powerful at that.

Jeanne lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head like I’ve said something ridiculous. She turns back to the rack, her fingers finding the tip of her long braid automatically, beginning to twirl it the way she always does.

“So,” I say. “Do you want to put it on?”

I got her measurements, but I don’t mind making a few adjustments so it fits perfectly with her body.

“Mmm. Not yet.” Before I can ask what she means, she reaches out and takes my hand, her fingers lacing through mine. She tugs me toward the stairs with a knowing little smile. “I know you have something else for me.”

She’s right. The chocolate cake I left in the kitchen in secret, and I added some frosting.

My woman knows me too well.

We end up eating half the cake standing at the kitchen counter because neither of us bothers to wait, Jeanne stealing the bigger slices without any shame and looking completely pleased with herself about it. Eventually, we migrate to the living room as the evening settles in through the windows.

Jeanne drops onto the couch with a satisfied sigh, then produces a disc case from somewhere in her hoodie and holds it up with a hopeful look.

“I grabbed this on the way over,” she says. “Is that okay?”

I look at the cover. I think it is a comedy moviue, from the looks of it.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

I set it up with my disc player, which I got from… borrowing from a gang belongings. Yeah, many things I have at home came from gangs but well, it was their fault to have too much and happened to our target for money. So after that and turning on the TV I drop onto the couch beside her. Jeanne wastes no time shifting to settle between my legs, her back against my chest, pulling my arms around her. I let her sort it out however she wants and say nothing, resting my chin on top of her head.

In that perfect position, we watch the movie without interruption.

All I can say is that it’s funny in some places, genuinely stupid in others. However, Jeanne laughs at nearly all of it, which is more than enough reason to keep watching. 

Then a strangely out-of-place scene comes on screen.

The protagonist and the main girl go quiet, just staring at each other with stupid smiles. Then he reaches for her face slowly and they come together into a kiss, the camera circling around them like that’s supposed to mean something profound.

But that’s the moment when Jeanne shifts a little against my chest, almost like she is trying to nudge me to pay attention, which I do.

She tilts her head back and to the side, looking up at me. Her cheek is already going pink, blue eyes meeting mine for about half a second before darting away, then drifting back again.

Ah… That’s what she was trying to say.

My right hand moves, finding her chin with two fingers and gently tilting her face toward mine. Her breath goes a little unsteady, and her eyes flutter shut just before I close the remaining distance and capture her lips.

We break apart after a few seconds.

Her eyes open slowly, and she turns forward again, snapping her attention back to the screen and scratching her cheek with one finger.

But she’s smiling.

I look back at the screen and notice my tail has curled itself against her arm.

Should I try to go further? I mean, it should be the natural thing to do and she seems to be receptive…

No… It would ruin the mood, and she’s comfortable as it is. 

Although we are missing out on something important… Oh, right, we have snacks but no drinks. So to solve that inconvenience, I reach into my inventory to grab some Pepsi. 

And then everything goes dark.

Yet I wake up with a gasp and sit bolt upright.

An expanse of white flowers greets my eyes, stretching out in every direction under a pale, sourceless sky, and a single tall tree standing not too far from where I am, its branches perfectly still despite I feel a strong wind caressing my face.

None of that matters.

Because Jeanne isn’t here with me.

I was on my couch with her. She was leaning against my chest, we were watching a movie, everything was fine, and now I’m standing in the middle of a strange field and I am nowhere near my home.

Nothing makes sense.

“Jeanne!”

Silence. The flowers don’t even rustle.

“JEANNE!”

My voice tears out of my throat and somehow echoes back from every direction at once, like the whole world is hollow.

“MA’IQ!”

My ears snap toward the sound before the rest of me does. I whip my head around and find a silhouette in the distance, small against the white expanse.

I don’t think twice and break into a run.

Except the flowers are suddenly taller,  way taller. They’re at my waist now and climbing, stems thick as reeds, catching at my legs. My feet feel like they’re moving through wet concrete, every step dragging, the ground pulling back against me.

“NO!”

I roar through it and yank my legs forward anyway, arms pumping, one hand already outstretched.

The flowers reach my chest.

And Jeanne comes into view.

She’s pale. A lot paler than I remember, her skin almost luminous against the terrain around her, and she’s wearing heavy armor, her blonde hair a shade lighter than it should be. But her eyes find mine across the distance and she starts running too.

“MA’IQ!”

“JEANNE!”

The last few steps close in a stumble and we collide into each other, both arms pulling the other in hard and I squeeze my eyes shut.

‘She’s real and she’s here. With me.’

I don’t know how long we stay like that. Neither of us lets go first.

Eventually I open my eyes and pull back just far enough to look at her. Those blue eyes stare back at me, wide and a little glassy, her face still that strange porcelain pale.

“J-Jeanne?”

“M-Ma’iq?”

“Yeah. That’s me.”

“Are you real?”

“...Pretty sure I am.” I glance down at myself, then back at her. “You?”

“I think so.”

A moment of silence follows.

Then we both laugh, short and nervous and slightly unhinged.

I look around at the field. It’s back to the height it was when I first woke up here, flowers quiet at knee level like nothing happened. The tall tree stands where it stood and perfectly still while the sky is the same flat pale nothing.

“What happened?” I ask. “Where are we?”

Jeanne follows my gaze around the field, then looks down at herself properly for the first time, turning her armored hands over slowly. “My semblance, remember? It activated again somehow. And it pulled us into...” She hesitates. “I think it pulled us into your memories, Ma’iq.”

I stare at her. “What?”

“Your memories.”

“Jeanne, I’ve never been anywhere like this in my life.” I gesture at the endless field of white flowers, the impossible pale sky. “I grew up in Vacuo. All I remember is sand and heat. Not...” I look around again. “Whatever this is. Not even in Kuo Kuana is there anything remotely close to this.”

“I know, I don’t understand it either.” She presses her hands together. “This is the first time I’ve ever been pulled into a memory with someone else. I didn’t even think that was possible.” She looks up at me, unsettled. “I don’t know why it happened.”

I drag a hand through my hair. “Okay. Different question.” I look her over again, taking in her new appearance. “Why do you look like that?”

Jeanne blinks and looks down at herself, then back up at me with wide eyes. “I was going to ask you the same thing. You look different too.”

I look down and properly take a look at my body.

She’s right. I’m taller than I should be. And I’m wearing heavy armor like her, unfamiliar but not uncomfortable, like something I’ve worn a thousand times before. I flex my hand and it moves like mine, but everything else feels slightly off.

“I don’t know…” I say flatly and quickly try to change the subject to think much about this. “I wish I did. But if this is your semblance doing this, do you know how to get us out?”

Jeanne’s expression falters. “I don’t... Not really. When it happens the memory just has to play itself out and then I get ejected automatically. I’ve never had to...” She trails off, glancing around uncertainly. “I’ve never had to wait it out with someone else.”

I sit down in the flowers, drop my elbows onto my knees, and pass a hand through my hair again.

Great.

“Ma’iq?”

“Yeah.”

She presses her lips into a thin line. “Can I ask you something?”

Something in her tone makes my ears perk up. “Go ahead.”

“You have to promise me first.” She sits down across from me, blue eyes serious in a way that doesn’t match the dopey grin from an hour ago. “Promise me you won’t mention whatever you say here to anyone. Ever.”

I look at her for a moment. Then I nod. “I promise.”

She takes a deep breath.

“Do you have magic?”

I open my mouth and close it again.

My mind goes immediately to the Gamer system. Over a year it’s been with me now, helping me and screwing me over, and I still don’t have a name for what it actually is. But it isn’t magic as far as I know because it’s just something that’s there, that something that became part of me so gradually I stopped questioning it.

“No.” I shake my head. 

[Affection with Jeanne d’Arc decreased by 2, 50/100]

What?!

“Ma’iq...” Her voice has an edge to it I haven’t heard before. Her hands are pressed flat against her knees. “Please don’t lie to me.”

“But I’m not lying!”

“Yet you know something. I can see it in you.”

My ears drop slightly, and I look away. 

“Ma’iq.”

“I heard you.”

“Then talk to me.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“The truth would be a good place to start.” She frowns and tries to reach for me but I pull away fast. “I know you’re not telling me everything and I’ve known for a while. I don’t push because you have your reasons and I respect that, I truly do. Especially after the expedition in Forever Fall.” She pauses, looking away a moment. “But we’re sitting in the middle of whatever this place is, and my semblance has never done this before, and I need to understand why so we can leave together.”

I stare at the flowers between us.

“Do you know how my semblance works?” The blonde asks.

“You see... echoes of people’s memories,” I answer. “You’ve told me that much.”

“It’s more specific than that.” She hesitates, like she’s still deciding how much to give. “The headmaster told me it doesn’t activate for just anyone. It’s not a random thing. It’s...” She bit her lips as she seemed to struggle to find the words. “Selective. The people I get pulled into memories with, they all have something in common.” She meets my eyes. “Everyone has a connection with this… magic.”

I say nothing and only stare at her with my mouth agape. Because she is saying that I have magic? Could that answer even answer ANY of my questions?

“Ma’iq.” She leans forward slightly. “I’m not asking you to explain everything. I’m not even asking you to understand it yourself. I’m just asking you to not sit there and tell me there’s nothing when clearly something is happening with you.” Her voice dips. “We’re together and you know that means something to me. I’m not going to run from whatever this is and we can face this together.”

I open my mouth.

Then close it again.

My brain is trying to find some version of this that doesn’t sound completely insane. Some version that I can hand to her that won’t make her look at me differently, because people look at things they don’t understand differently, and I’ve been looked at differently my whole life for enough reasons already.

“Before we got pulled in here,” I say finally, staring at the flowers, “I reached into my semblance to grab some drinks and I blacked out.” 

“Ma’iq, that isn’t answering my question.”

Fuck.

“...I know.”

“Then why won’t you jus-“

“Because I don’t know!” The words come out sharper than I mean them to. I press my mouth shut and breathe through my nose. “What do you want me to say, Jeanne? What answer are you looking for? Because I simply don’t have one, how the fuck can I even answer?”

Liar.

“I’m not looking for a perfect answer. I just want the truth.”

“What truth?! That is the truth to me. I don’t even know what I have.” My voice is rising despite my efforts to hold it back. “I don’t know why it works the way it does or even if this magic thingy is even real. I don’t know why it showed up, I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what any of it means. I’ve never known and at this point, I will never know.”

“Then just say that. Say you don’t know.”

“I just did!”

“You said you don’t have magic. That’s different.”

“I said I don’t know what I have!”

“After I had to pull it out of you!”

I drag a hand through my hair, hard enough to feel it pull. “Fine. Fine. You want a version? I have things I can’t explain. Things that work in ways that make no sense to me. Things that I have asked exactly zero people about because what am I supposed to say?” I gesture sharply at our surroundings. “That I do things that I didn’t do? That sometimes stuff just happens just because? Who do I go to with that? Who do I tell?”

“Me,” she says simply. “You tell me.”

“But I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know, Jeanne.” My voice cracks slightly on her name. “I don’t if this is real but I know it is real because I see how real it is but then it isn’t real. How can you even explain what is real when you can’t even see that real. Even now, what I’m even saying to you. I don’t know why any of this keeps happening to me and only me. Things just keep happening, and that’s all I’ve ever known how to do. I don’t get to stop and ask questions, I just deal with it, I have always just dealt with it—”

“Ma’iq-”

“I don’t even know what I am at times. These stupid glimpses of things that aren’t real but I KNOW they are real and I still don’t know why any of this keeps happening. I don’t know why I keep ending up in stupid situations that make no sense and I don’t know why the rules that apply to everyone else just don’t seem to apply to me *and I just…” I grit my teeth and kick a patch of grass. “I JUST HATE THIS!”

Why am I on my feet? I don’t remember standing.

“I HATE NOT KNOWING. I HATE THAT THINGS JUST HAPPEN TO ME AND NOBODY EXPLAINS ANYTHING AND I JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT AND PRETEND LIKE IT’S FINE WHEN IT IS NOT FINE. IT HAS NEVER BEEN FINE.”

“Ma’iq, stop-”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM. WHO THE FUCK AM I?! I’M MA’IQ RAK’KAN BUT WHY THE FUCK THAT NAME FEELS WRONG AT TIMES?! WHY MY FACE IS MINE AND YET I KEEP LOOKING ANOTHER FACE ON THE MIRROR?! I DON’T KNOW WHY ANY OF THIS KEEPS HAPPENING. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATEHATEHATE-”

There is a rumble but…

“Ma’iq!” Jeanne scrambles to her feet and grabs my arm with both hands. “MA’IQ, STOP. STOP IT, YOU HAVE TO STOP.”

“I SIMPLY DON’T KNOW!”

“MA’IQ!”

Where is the ground?

Where is the tree?Where is the field of flowers?Where is Al-

And we fall into the abyss.

And I wake up with a gasp.

And we are back in my home with the low, cheerful music of the credits rolling peacefully across the TV screen.

Beside me, Jeanne jolts upright at the exact same moment with a sharp gasp, her hand flying to her chest.

For a moment we just sit there, both of us staring at the television, the credits scrolling like nothing happened at all.

Then Jeanne suddenly lunges forward and wraps both arms around me, pulling me in hard, her face pressing into my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” her apology is muffled against my shirt. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have, I’m so sorry.”

I don’t say anything.

My arms come up slowly, almost on their own, and settle around her. I don’t squeeze. I just hold on, and stare at the screen until the white letters blur.

Neither of us moves for a while.

Eventually she pulls back, just enough to look at me and her hands move to my face so I can focus on her and only her.

“Ma’iq.” Her thumb traces a gentle line across my cheek. “You need help.”

I blink. Then I let out a long sigh.. “What kind of help? And from who, exactly? Better question: why?“

“I...” She hesitates, her brow knitting together. “I don’t know…but I’ll ask around. I’ll figure it out. And I’m sure the Headmaster would know.”

The warmth that was just starting to settle in my chest evaporates.

“Ozpin...” I spat that name. “You want that man to help me? Him?” I don’t care his reasons, he fucked me over twice.

Jeanne grimaces slightly, and I can tell she doesn’t have a clean answer for that one. But she doesn’t back down either. “He’ll help if you ask him. If you go to him with something like this, he won’t turn you away.”

“You sound very sure about that.”

“I am.”

“Based on what?”

“Based on knowing him better than you do right now.” She holds my gaze. “I’m not saying to trust him completely. I’m saying let me try. Let me ask on your behalf if that’s easier. But we can’t just leave this alone, Ma’iq.”

I look away from her, toward the dark window. 

“Do I even need help?” 

“Yes.” She answers without a shred of doubt in her tone. “What happened there wasn’t normal. And what happened in those ruins wasn’t normal either.” Her hands are still on my face, and she turns it gently back toward her. “Boxing yourself up in here isn’t going to fix it. Pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t going to fix it. I know you, Ma’iq. And I don’t want to see you suffering like this anymore, just once was enough.”

I don’t answer.

Because she’s not wrong.

“So please.” Her forehead drops gently against mine. “Please let me help you. I’m not asking you to hand everything over and fix it overnight. I’m just asking you to not do this alone anymore. Just... let me in.”

I look at her for a long moment.

And I look down.

“Alright.”