Shards of Reminisce Ch.75 (Patreon)

“It certainly is a surprise to see you so soon, Mr. Rakhan.”

Ozpin says it with that same annoying calm tone he seems to carry everywhere, his coffee mug resting in his hand like he has all the time in the world.

Why does he insist on carrying that stupid thing everywhere?

As for me, I’m laid out on the couch I somehow never noticed existed in this office. Maybe it was always there, and I was too busy being annoyed to look around properly, or maybe he had it brought up because he knew I was coming. Either way, it’s surprisingly comfortable, and the tea he served me without asking is surprisingly good.

I stare at the ceiling and decide not to comment on either.

“Never my intention.” I grumble upward. “But I made a promise to Jeanne, so here I am.”

“And I’m glad she convinced you.” He takes a slow sip. “Though I would caution you not to be too hard on yourself for needing the push. A partner who wants the best for you is not something to resent, Mr. Rakhan. It is something rather rarer than most people realize.”

I think about Jeanne’s hands on my face in the darkness of my living room. The way she pleaded with me.

“Don’t you think I know that?” I frown at the ceiling.

“I’m certain you do.” Ozpin says, and there’s no condescension in it at all, which somehow makes it worse. “But knowing something and truly sitting with it are entirely different things. The mind is a remarkable instrument. It can hold vast and difficult concepts while completely missing the insignificant details right in front of it. Details that, as it turns out, matter quite a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I wave a hand at the ceiling. “Can we just get on with it?”

“As you wish.”

He reaches over and presses something on his desk. The windows darken one by one, the pale morning light retreating until the room settles into a dim, close quiet, lit only by the soft glow of the desk lamp and the faint mechanical light filtering down from the clock tower above us.

I glance up at the gears turning slowly overhead.

What is the deal with those things? Why are those so…maddening?

“What’s that for?” I ask, pointing at the now closed windows.

“Fewer interruptions…” The man replies. “And fewer ears.”

Also rather dramatic, but I keep that to myself.

I stare at the ceiling for a moment longer, then press the heels of my hands against my eyes and just say it, because there’s no point in beating around the bush here.

“Okay. Look. I’m just... confused. Yeah, that’s the word, I think. Confused.” I drop my hands and make a vague, frustrated gesture at nothing in particular. “Things happen.... Like a lot of weird things. And it’s like I understand them while they’re happening, but then I think about them afterward and the whole thing falls apart. Like it both did and didn’t happen at the same time. Like my brain can’t decide if it was real.” I let my hands drop. “Does that make any sense at all?”

“It is a rather unusual way to describe it, yes.” Ozpin comments. “Though not entirely unfamiliar to me.”

“That’s because I don’t know how else to put it and I don’t know how to explain any of it.” I push myself up slightly, forearm resting on my knee. “I just know it doesn’t add up. It never has. And I’ve been letting it go because for a long time it wasn’t really a problem, and apparently that was the wrong call.”

Dreams and… visions, always so erratic with me. Until now.

Ozpin nods slowly, something shifting behind his expression. “Then perhaps we should begin somewhere where we both have firm footing.” He sets his cup down. “What was it, ultimately, that made you decide to come here today? Despite your rather low opinion of me.”

“First, fuck you for that.” I point to the ceiling. “You really did ruin my life.”

I have my own place and good money, but I’m still barred from anything due to that criminal record.

“Actions have consequences, Mr. Rakhan.” He replies with that stupidly calm tone. “It would hardly be just to go unscathed after committing so many crimes.”

“Bullshit.”

That man literally offered to clean all my records if I enrolled at his stupid academy.

But he rolls his eyes, which is honestly the most human I’ve ever seen him look. “Again. What made you decide to come?”

“Jeanne.” No hesitation in my voice. “I promised her I’d look for help and she said you were the best option she knew. So here I am.”

“I’m honored she thinks so.” He folds his hands in his lap. “And yes. I do believe I can help you navigate what’s been happening. These are unusual times, and what troubles you is not as far outside my understanding as you might expect.”

“Okay.”

“But before we get there, I want to ask specifically about the event that finally brought you through my door.”

I exhale slowly. “This vision, or whatever it was. I got pulled into something. Like a memory that wasn’t mine because Jeanne said that these are memories.”

“Yes.” He nods slowly. “Though I should note this was, in fact, the second time such an event has occurred. The first time, only Miss d’Arc was affected.”

“She told me.” I look at the far wall. “She also said it happened because of magic.”

Ozpin is quiet for a moment. Then he clears his throat carefully, in the way people do when they’re deciding exactly how much to say. “Mr. Rakhan, before we go further, I’d like to understand your baseline. What do you know about magic? Your own understanding of it.”

I shrug. “Not much. Only what Jeanne could explain. It’s not exactly a common topic where I grew up.”

Or anywhere, from what I can assume.

“Then allow me to give you some context.”

After that, he goes to explain to me in a patient tone. He explains that magic is not aura and not semblance, that it predates both, that it is not something unlocked through training or will or trauma but something carried, passed down, tied to something older than the academies and the kingdoms both. Although he sounds like he has known this very well and has experience about it.

Nonetheless, I listen to him.

And while I listen, I’m turning it over in my head, holding it up against everything I know about the Gamer system, about my inventory, about the things I can do that have never had an explanation because I really didn’t put any thought about it, like what is really leveling up?

Or why I get this experience points by killing grimm or people…. Especially that I get experience points by killing people.

It doesn’t fit.

However, what I have doesn’t feel like what he’s describing. Not even close.

“Could you use your semblance for me?” he asks. “Anything simple will do.”

I reach into my inventory without much thought and summon a plain glass bottle. Hold it up for a moment, then send it back.

But Ozpin goes still.

He sets his cup down and rises from his chair,  and he crosses toward me, his gaze just slightly sharper than before.

“May I?” He extends a hand.

I look at it. Then I roll my eyes, lean forward, and let him rest two fingers against the back of my wrist.

“Again, please.”

I summon the bottle and return it the same way.

Ozpin backs away slowly. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but looks like he has been thinking about something important.

“That was not magic…” he says finally.

I wait, because I can tell he’s not finished.

“But it was not a semblance either, Mr. Rakhan.”

I already knew that. I’ve known it for a long time. But I still try to look surprised at hearing that. “What do you mean? It’s not a storage semblance?”

“No.” He returns to his chair, picks up his cup again but doesn’t even drink from it. “It shares surface similarities, but what lies beneath is something else entirely. Something I find I cannot immediately categorize.” He pauses. “And that, I will admit, is not a sentence I have occasion to say very often.”

“So it’s new.”

“It appears to be.”

“Is it dangerous?” I don’t think so but I still need to ask that.

“Based on what I’ve observed today? No. Not inherently.” He tilts his head. “Though I would be lying if I claimed I could draw any firm conclusions from a single demonstration. What I can say is that it did not feel hostile. It felt...” He considers his next words. “Stable. As though it has been part of you for some time.”

“I’m not becoming your lab rat.”

“Of course not.” He offers me a smile. “But if you were willing to come by occasionally, it would help considerably. For both of us. The more we understand what you carry, the better equipped you are to work with it rather than simply around it.”

“Do I get something out of it?”

I mean, it sounds fair because it is my time that we are talking about, helping him is another matter.

The corner of his mouth shifts. “Beyond a greater understanding of yourself? Yes. I can arrange reasonable compensation for your time. That seems only just.”

“Alright. Fine.” I shrug. “We’ll see how it goes.”

He nods once and sets his cup down. “Now. Moving back to the matter that actually brought you here.” His tone shifts, just slightly. “The vision you shared with Miss d’Arc. Would you walk me through it? As much as you’re comfortable sharing.”

I look away. My ears twitch when they hear the gears turn above us louder than before. I breathe in, breathe out, and then I talk.

I decided to tell him all of it. The field of white flowers, the pale sky, the way the entire place shifted and distorted and pulled at me while I was running. Finding Jeanne, but a different-looking Jeanne, pale as marble and wearing very strange armor but also beautiful. The way I looked different too, taller, wearing armor that fit like something I’d worn for years. Then, with our conversation, when we finally reached each other and how our talk devolved until everything broke apart when I couldn’t hold it together anymore and collapsed into nothing, falling into the abyss.

Ozpin listened without interrupting once.

When I finish, he is quiet for a moment. His hands are folded in his lap. “Mr. Rakhan. Did Miss d’Arc ever tell you about what she witnessed the first time her ability activated in your presence?”

I frown. “No.”

He takes a breath. “She did not tell you because she did not know how to or wanted to worry you unnecessarily. What she saw was a ballroom.” He pauses for a moment. “You were both present, or versions of you. Dressed for the ocassion. The setting was formal, perhaps celebratory, and you both knew each other very well in that… vision. As if you two were together for a long but a long time.” Another pause. “Until the fire started. It came from everywhere at once and razed everything it touched to the ground. She could not find a way out, and you both were consumed by this great fire.”

I go still.

Something sharp and sudden spikes through my skull, right behind my eyes, and for half a second there is a sound. High and ragged and completely destroyed, coming from somewhere with nothing left in it.

It takes me a moment to realize it is my own voice.

My own scream, except I am not screaming. My mouth is closed. I am sitting on this couch and the room is quiet and the sound is entirely inside my head and it is broken in a way that turns my stomach, because…

Why does my voice sound like that?

Why does it sound like someone who has lost everything they ever had? What happened to make a person sound like that?

Why does it sound like me?

“Mr. Rakhan?”

My hand has moved to the side of my head without me telling it to.

“I...” The word comes out hollow. “I don’t know. I just... I think I remember something, but I don’t actually remember it and I don’t know why my head is...” I press my fingers harder against my temple. “Why does that sound so...”

Why do I never know?

I know. But why don’t I know?

Why?

“Mr. Rakhan.” That stupid voice is calm. Not dismissive, just calm. The kind of calm that takes a very long time to learn. “Breathe. In through your nose, slow. Follow my count if it helps.”

I snap my attention to him and follow on reflex, the breath coming in shaky and going out a little steadier. And that scream finally fades out leaving my head empty.

“Sorry…” I say. “I just…. Don’t know what happened there.”

“You don’t need to know. Not today, at least.” His expression is unreadable but not hostile. “What you just experienced tells me a lot more than an hour of questions likely would have.” He rises from his chair. “Which is precisely why I think we should stop here for today.”

I blink. “Already?”

He glances at his wrist. “Mr. Rakhan, we have been speaking for just over an hour.”

I look up at the clock. Then back at him. Then back at the clock, because the clock is always right.

He’s not wrong.

“I kept spacing out, didn’t I?”

“Several times, yes.”

“And you just. Let me?”

“Pushing through it would not have served either of us.” He moves to the window and presses the same thing on his desk. The glass lightens again, morning coming back in gradually. “What came up today needs time to settle before we go any further. Rest, Mr. Rakhan. Real rest and go outside or spend time with your partner.”

Neo…

I sit up properly, elbows on my knees, and stare at the floor for a moment.

The gears turn above us, slow and constant. Still that maddening edge.

“I guess….” I push myself to my feet and reach for my jacket. “Thanks….For this, although I don’t feel much better, but I think that’s the point, yeah?”

“Precisely.” He picks up his cup. “Progress rarely announces itself.”

I pause in the doorway and look back at him. He’s already settled back into his chair, cup in hand, like I found him. Like none of this rattled him at all.

I’m not entirely sure I believe that.

“Same time next week?”

I look at him for a second longer than I need to.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

--------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, Neo’s busy and wasn’t home.

But at least she has left a note on the kitchen counter. ‘Sudden work. Don’t wait.’

Which translates to Roman needing something done fast and only she could do it.

Stupid thief.

It’s a little weird that she left a written note instead of just messaging my scroll, but whatever. She is unpredictable, so I don’t mind.

So it’s just me and Levi today, which honestly isn’t a bad thing by any means. Jeanne’s tied up at Beacon until late, and having a day with no real agenda suits me fine. Levi didn’t have much on either, so we made brunch together, which turned into a longer affair than either of us planned because Levi has been getting seriously good at this compared to her first time, although that first time it was decent enough. But with her level we can try the more complex stuff, the sea dishes with pretentious names that taste better than they have any right to.

The food has been long finished. Now we’re on her bed, her settled against my side with her legs tucked up under her, and neither of us has said much of anything for a while.

Which is fine, really.

This kind of silence is comfortable. I’ve been absently carding my fingers through her hair, occasionally brushing her long ears just to watch them twitch.

I look down at her.

She looks up at the exact same moment and catches me doing it, and a small smile crosses her face. “What’s that look for?”

“What look?” I tilt my head.

“That one.” She gestures vaguely in the direction of my face. “You look like you need the bathroom.”

I stare at her. “Do I really make that face?”

Levi gives me the flattest look possible and pokes at my stomach.

“Ugh.” I boop her nose, making her giggle and swat my hand away. “Don’t make that face at me.”

“I’ll make whatever face I want. You started it.”

“I wasn’t making a face.”

“You totally were.”

“I was thinking.”

“Same thing.”

I close my eyes and let out a long breath. “Fine. Yes… But it’s because I have a question.”

She shifts slightly, turning her head to look up at me properly, and the teasing attitude drops out of her expression. “Shoot.”

I open my mouth. Then close it again, because the words sit there feeling stupider the longer I hold them. I’ve turned this question over before, in different ways, with different people, and it never quite comes out right. But eventually, I just get it out.

“What am I, Levi?”

My woman merely blinks with a blank expression.

Then, without a single moment of hesitation, she reaches up and pinches my cheek. “You’re Ma’iq. My boyfriend, you big dummy.”

I blink once and keep my gaze on her, trying to find anything in those green eyes, anything wrong or different. But there is none.

She means it.

And she didn’t even need to think about the answer at all. Just the most obvious answer in the world, delivered like I’d asked her what color the sky was.

And she’s right. She’s completely right, and also she has no idea what I actually meant, and that’s not her fault, and looking at her now I think that’s the point. With Levi, everything just is what it is. A strange question gets a simple answer. 

She looked at me and saw Ma’iq, me, and that was enough for her. It has always been enough for her. 

I pull her in and press my lips to the top of her head. “Silly question. Sorry.”

“Yeah, kind of,” she agrees against my shoulder, completely unbothered. “Super weird and out of nowhere question, but I guess I thought you would ask even dumber.”

“Don’t push it.”

She laughs and tucks herself back against my side and pokes my stomach to the point that tickles so I return the favor by tickling her sides too until we get tired. It looks dumb, but it is surprisingly amazing too, it was such a strange new type of fun.

We stay like that for a few more hours, talking about nothing important. Her pilot courses, a book she started, a recipe she wants to try next time that apparently involves a small pork. By the time I finally drag myself up and reach for my jacket, the light outside has gone dark.

“So you’re leaving?” she asks from the bed, watching me shrug my jacket on.

“Yeah.” I roll my shoulder, working out the stiffness. “Unless you want me to stay the night.”

Her ears perk straight up. A blush creeps up to the tips of them and she looks away fast, pulling her knees to her chest. “I... I have stuff tomorrow….Sorry.”

I smirk.

“Ma’iq!” She grabs a pillow and throws it at my face. I catch it, put it back on the bed and let myself out before she can find something heavier.

Once I step outside the apartment building, I get to feel the night air outside is pleasant. With that I get the idea to take a longer route back without really deciding to, just letting my feet pick the direction. I could summon my bike and be home in minutes, but my head is still full of many things to think about but also quite happy to spend time with my woman.

I’m a few blocks from Levi’s place when my ears suddenly perk up at a weird sound.

I stop walking and frown.

I look around but all I find is an empty street.

‘There it is again.’

It’s muffled and it’s coming from somewhere to my left. So my eyes sweep the street from every direction. But all I can find are parked cars, a light on in an upper window, a street lamp just buzzing to life at the end of the block. 

No people around.

Then I hear it a third time, and this time I pin its exact location. It’s coming from the alley between two apartment blocks, which is close from where I’m standing.

Part of me says to ignore it and keep walking. That’s someone else’s problem, and I’ve had a good day, and I’d like to keep it that way.

But it sounds like someone is crying. And I’m really curious who could be crying and why, just for curiosity's sake.

The second part wins because it always does. Damn curiosity. Damn everything.

I quickly move toward the alley entrance, keeping close to the wall, and use the bulk of a dumpster to use a cover and then peek over.

There’s a person on the ground.

That person is curled in on themselves, back against the brick wall, knees drawn up to their chest. However, my eyes widen when I recognize that makeshift outfit and makes my stomach drop for a moment. Especially when I find the same blank, expressionless gas mask I’ve seen before on these freaks. 

Except this one doesn’t look right.

The goggles aren’t glowing green.

They’re blue.

And the sound coming from behind that mask is totally, unmistakably, someone crying their eyes out.

I stare at the bastard for a moment.

I didn’t know they could even act like this. They always move like they’re not entirely people, and look too strange, especially when they try to communicate something. But seeing one of them sitting in an alley having a complete breakdown is not something I had expected.

But that doesn’t matter because… Why is this freak here?

Then a different thought cuts through.

Levi’s home is really close. Three blocks, maybe four. I put it together fast and my stomach drops the moment I do. I look back at the figure on the ground, then out to the empty street behind me, then back.

‘Were they following me?’

I didn’t notice a single thing. Sneaky bastards don’t get spotted when they don’t want to be.

Are there more?

I focus hard, ears sweeping the alley, the rooflines, the street at my back, going still and quiet and listening for anything that doesn’t belong.

Nothing.

If there were more, they’d have shown themselves by now. Done something, moved, made a sound. So this one is almost certainly alone, which raises more questions than it answers, because what in the actual hell is one of Cinder’s people doing crying alone in an alley three blocks from my woman?

Is Cinder trying to send a message?

Neo’s words surfaces in the back of my head.

‘They’re not good people. They’ve done worse to others. Much worse.’ 

‘You don’t want to be weak anymore. Don’t want people taking everything from you again.’ 

‘The strong must act, make a decision. The weak suffer what they will. Which one do you want to be?’

I think about Levi, curled up on her bed with absolutely zero idea that any of this is happening so close or that there is so much bullshit going on in this city.

I think about how close I am to a level up. So many weeks grinding to get a massive boost of my stats, all towards my ultimate goal of becoming so strong to tell anyone to fuck off.

The freak makes another broken sound, shoulders shaking hard.

I could leave. I could walk away right now, message Neo, let her handle it in the morning like a sensible person. That would be the smart call and I know it.

She promised to help me with anything.

My sword materializes in my hand anyway.

Because anything that screws over Cinder, no matter how little, is always worth doing. And Levi is in real danger.

I step forward.

I’m protecting somebody important. And taking out the trash because if I don’t who will?

I lift my blade.

[Congratulations, you have leveled up!]