Forced to Become the Boyfriend of the Dancer who buffs everybody Ch. 19 (Patreon)

So from Jess we learned that the guild hasn’t finished dealing with the subterranean kobolds, since the little bastards had a lot of time to burrow themselves in, though progress is pretty good. Jess explained how she had to hire dwarven parties, both fighters and engineers, which alone was expensive and difficult to manage, since the tunnels and holes the damn monsters dug through also needed to be filled back in or shored up properly. Normal adventurers simply weren’t fit for that kind of work and would risk causing a chain reaction cave-in. They’re only about a quarter done with that part. At least the settlement itself is fully under siege now, no way in or out, so either the kobolds inside starve, or they try to dig their own way out and bring the tunnel down on themselves, or get hacked to pieces. Either way works for the guild and the city.

“As for the rest…” Jess trails off, wrapping both hands around her tea like it’s the only thing keeping her upright. “Do you want to know how we ended up with a monster surge in the first place? It’s almost embarrassing how simple the answer is.”

“I mean, I had my suspicions of something like a snowball effect happening here. One small thing breaks, and everything comes tumbling down.”

“More or less.” She takes a sip and grimaces. “The city of Beginera is supposed to be flooded with novice adventurers. We have the academy right there, we should be swimming in fresh faces every season. Instead, almost all of them left for other cities the moment they got their first card or their provisional license before the monster surge.”

“Why?” Sana asks, tilting her head.

“Because the two sluts before me were criminally incompetent. And I don’t mean lazy-incompetent, I mean actively malicious about it.” The guild master’s jaw tightens as a vein visibly throbs in her forehead. “They’d sit on the asses and quest postings for weeks instead of putting them up. When they did post something, half the time they’d skim off the reward before handing it over, or just flat out lie about what was available and never even bother to issue the official guild quest certificate before forging everything in the ledger. New adventurers would come in excited, get nothing, get cheated, or get sent on garbage quests with garbage pay, and leave for literally any other guild in any other city because they would get better treatment. Or worse, they got sent to their deaths. Word spreads fast among adventurers. Within a year, Beginera had developed a bad reputation, and that would explain the relatively inferior quality of adventurers hanging around in the past month.”

“So with no new adventurers,” I say slowly, piecing it together. “That means no one is hunting the weak monsters because high-level or mid-level adventurers would see it as a waste of their time.”

Which they proved it to me when they told me to fuck off when I asked for help.

“Exactly. And weak monsters breed dangerously fast. Slimes reproduce asexually, nothing stops that population from doubling on its own. Insect monsters lay hundreds of eggs per clutch. Or those nasty kruthik, and don’t even get me started on the gibberlings. Without anyone thinning the herds, so to speak, those numbers just kept climbing, unchecked, season after season.” She sets the cup down hard enough to clink against the table. “And once you have that much low-level prey sitting around in one place, it attracts more monsters to the area. Stronger predator type monsters such as displacers, worgs, ankhegs, just to name a few, started noticing there was suddenly an all-you-can-eat-buffet. And with that much food available, those bigger monsters started breeding faster too.”

“And from there it just keeps attracting more and stronger monsters.” I say the logical thing: a fully working monster ecosystem.

“Right, all of that just from a pair of idiots. It took us almost a year to even notice, because it happened slowly enough to look normal, and I was too busy dealing with the duties of a guild master and talking coordinating with other guild masters a response to deal with those stupid Orc raids.” She rubs her temples. “Yet that would explain why I was issuing so many high-level quests. If it wasn’t for those, the city would’ve been under full siege by now. Ugh, it’s just so maddening.”

So at least by issuing those high-level quests, she’d been keeping the powerful monsters at bay. I can imagine a giant monster whose every step shakes the land.

“That’s horrible…” Sana says quietly, ears drooping. “All because two jerks were really mean.”

Dumb sluts would be more accurate.

“Welcome to nepotism bureaucracy…” Jess offers a deprecating laugh.

As for the conspiracy behind the trading with the kobold tribe underground, she can’t reveal much. A couple of high-ranking officials are apparently under house arrest, but that’s the extent of what she’s allowed to say, and just like the emergency quest, she won’t say another word about it.

Still, things are improving in the city. The most obvious one was about people finally being able to leave the city with relative safety as long as they stick to the road. Jess has brought on temporary staff to help handle the massive backlog of quests while she works through everything the previous two left behind, and from the look of her, that backlog might take months just to clear. All we can do is offer our sympathies, which she accepts with a tired wave, and then we leave the guild to head straight for the Europa statue to finally level up.

ANON Lv.22

Class: Swordsman (Fighter — Eldritch Knight)

HP: 2130| MP: 476

STR: 71 | DEX: 35 | CON: 57 | INT: 34 | WIS: 20 | CHA: 17

SP: 0

SKILLS: Second Wind (Lv2) | Action Surge (Lv2) | Trip Attack (Lv2) | Disarming Strike (Lv2) | Goading Attack (Lv2)

SPELLS: Burning Blade (Lv3) | Frost Armor (Lv2) | Absorb Elements (Lv1) | Protection from Evil (Lv1)

FEATS Shield Mastery | Alert | Tough | Athlete | Remarkable Recovery 

FIGHTING STYLE: Defense

MARTIAL ARCHETYPE: Eldritch Knight

BOSS KILLS

Kobold Captain (Elite): +2 DEX

Mutant King Slime (S-Rank): +4 CON, +2 STR, +20 HP - Effect: Slight size increase. 

Alpha Worg (Elite): +1 DEX

SANA Lv.22

HP: 1385 | MP: 898

STR: 13 | DEX: 34 | CON: 24 | INT: 31 | WIS: 5 | CHA: 46

SP: 0

SKILLS: Hip Shake (Lv5) | Healing Rhythm (Lv4) | Lullaby (Lv3) | Cacophony (Lv3) | Mesmerize (Lv3) | Hypnotic Sway (Lv3) | Allegro (Lv1) 

PASSIVES: Inspiring Movement | Rhythmic Focus | Graceful Steps | Empowering Dance | Swift Steps | Dancer’s Blessing 

FEATS: Inspiring Leader | Healer’s Touch | Empowered Melodies | Harmonious Soul | Lingering Performance

DANCE STYLE: Swaying Grace

ARCHETYPE: Graceful Dancer

⚠ WARNING: Very low Magic Defense, protect from casters!

BOSS KILLS:

Kobold Captain (Elite): +1 STR

Mutant King Slime (S-Rank): +50 MP

Alpha Worg (Elite): +15 HP

Yup, we have become Level 22, which officially makes us stronger than the original counterparts who were capped at level 20.

We gained six levels from this trip to Heshbrawn, though I’d guess maybe two of those came from monster kills, the rest from all the redeemed certificates. We really cannot underestimate those guild quests at all, because now I’m sure that thanks to them people can level up relatively fast to get those class promotions.

Although it is disappointing that the owlbears didn’t count as bosses despite being a hard fight, at least the alpha Worg did count as a boss and gave us a bonus.

There are also new spells, but I’ll need to practice before I can actually use them.

But first…

“Oh, hey guys!” Esme greets us with a wide smile, waving one arm as we step into her forge.

She’s wearing nothing but her thick leather apron because, of course she is. Doesn’t make her any less sexy tho.

“Hi, Esme!” Sana waves back, enthusiastic as ever.

“Been a while, and...” Esme’s eyes catch on my chest and she whistles low. “Wow, you really took a beating since last time.”

I shrug. “Yeah, but the armor did its job. You’re an amazing smith, by the way.”

And I promised to kiss you, but that was metaphorically speaking.

The blonde flashes a grin and flexes one arm, revealing defined biceps. “Never doubt these babies.” She lowers her arm. “So, you want it repaired, right?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Full maintenance too, while we’re at it.”

“Figured as much. You came to the right place.”

“Yeah, because the guy back in Heshbrawn was a total ripoff.”

And lazy bastard.

She laughs at the last part. “Of course he was, that old coot’s a sham. Shoddy work on everything he touches. If you hadn’t known better, he’d have charged you for repairing something this small, the same as a brand new set.”

“Wait, really?” Sana perks up, ears twitching.

“Yep, yep. That’s the problem when you’re the only smith in town, you get to be as garbage as you want and charge whatever you feel like, because who’s gonna stop you?”

“What a bastard.”

So he probably was making shit up about enchantments increasing the fees. Goddamit, we got scammed for a lot of money.

“Mean guy!” Sana adds, nodding firmly and her arms crossed.

“Okay, so, first things first, let’s get all that off you.” She says as she walks around the counter.

Between her and Sana, they help me strip out the armor piece by piece, leaving me in nothing but a simple shirt and a pair of pants, the helmet saved for last.

“Rawr~” Esme jokes as she lifts it off, wiggling her fingers like claws at me, making me roll my eyes.

She is definitely doing it to get a reaction more than anything.

Which she gets from the fox girl using her tail to tickle Esme’s nose.

With everything laid out on the counter, she starts checking it piece by piece, running her fingers along dents and seams with critical eyes. Then she brings out an instrument which she uses to check for vibrations? That’s weird.

“Yeah, you really got wrecked out there. What exactly did you fight? This set shouldn’t be this banged up from fighting Worgs or critters.”

“Besides small monsters that got lucky? Two freaking owlbears, still cannot believe they were babies.” 

I still cannot help but wonder how stronger and bigger a full-grown adult would be.

“They were so scary!” Sana chimes in, shuddering theatrically, throwing both arms around herself.

“You two fought a pair of owlbears?” Esme lets out a low whistle. “Jeez. No wonder the chestplate looks the way it does.”

It was crazy that a swipe from those beasts could tear through metal.

“Yeah, you can imagine how that looked,” I say. “Big mess of a fight. Ended up using your pepper bombs in the middle of it, actually. Those really saved our butts out there.”

Funnily enough, they were originally meant for a certain mage in case she betrayed us at first. I won’t complain about the new purpose I’ve given them.

“HA! Told you they were amazing.” She rubs her chin, thinking it over. “Anyway, to repair all this... tomorrow morning, I should have it all ready for you.”

“Oh, wow, that fast?” Sana asks.

“Yep. It’s mostly smoothing and hammering. Even the big gash isn’t too bad, since the enchantment underneath wasn’t damaged. I just need to deburr the edges and fill the gap properly before welding them together. After that it’s just a bit of polish.”

“Ah, cool. So, how much?”

“Just three thousand five hundred G.”

I blink, that’s actually cheaper than I expected. Coming back to the city for repairs was really a good call.

I drop the money on the counter and turn to head out.

“Wait, darling!”

“Yeah?”

“You aren’t covering your face. You promised!”

Oh. Right. I’m leaving the helmet behind for repairs too, which means I will be walking around the city without it.

“It’s just one day, Sana. No biggie.”

“Nope!” She lunges and wraps both arms around me in a tight hug. “If you don’t put something on your head, I’ll climb you instead, and I’ll just sit there the whole day blocking everyone’s view myself!”

Esme giggles at that silly declaration. “You really are such a hog, you know that?”

“It’s necessary!” Sana insists, muffled against my chest.

I sigh and stroke her hair white hair. “It’ll be fine. Come on, you can trust me. And I’ll buy you lots of sweets to make up for it.” And as a finisher, I rub the base of her long ears.

Sana looks up at me, pouting hard, ears drooping dramatically. “Not fair... Okay. One day. Only one. And you will get me lots of sweets, you promised, no backing out!”

I merely chuckle. “Deal.”

With that small problem out of the way, I look back at the blacksmith girl. “Thanks, Esme. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye bye~! Try not to get mauled again before then, yeah?” She waves us off.

With the armor dropped off, we’ve got the entire day free to just relax, so we decide to go find Garnet. There are definitely a few things to be talking about, and a few questions I want answered.

Predictably, I start drawing eyes from every woman within sight almost the moment they spot me, much to Sana’s visible annoyance. So I placate her by taking her hand as we walk over, lacing our fingers together, and that seems to smooth the frown off her face easily enough.

After a long while of walking, we reach the wizard’s tower, or well, the wizard’s house, to be specific. I step forward and knock on the door three times.

It takes a moment before the main door opens, revealing a snake-girl with glasses. A Lamia... Yeah, the right term would be lamia. And she has porcelain skin, short pink hair, and… well, those are pretty big tits.

Sana’s bigger though.

“Oh, hello. Do you need something?” she asks, giving a polite smile.

“Hey, just looking for Garnet. Tell her it’s Sana and Anon.” I reply with a simple smile.

“Oh! Sure, no problem ummm… give me a moment, please.” The lamia then closes the door.

I let out a sigh and trade a look with Sana, who gives me a sheepish smile. That snake girl is 100% also one of Garnet’s girls. Just how many women does that playboy… playgirl, I guess, have? 

With this one, there are three so far.

She’s clearly living the harem life many guys dream about.

Eventually the lamia returns, wearing the same smile as she opens the door. “Come in. She’s waiting in her office.”

“Thanks.”

We head inside and go straight there, though one thing worth noting is that the place is neatly organized this time.

Crossing the doorway, we find the wizard, dressed in the same open robes, seated in her chair with her elbow resting on one armrest, lazily flipping through a book before she lifts her gaze.

“Welcome back, you two. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” She offers a smile as she sets the book down and straightens her posture.

I simply give a small wave.

“Garnet! Oh my gosh, you have NO idea the weeks we’ve had!” Sana launches straight in, bouncing on her heels. “We went to this whole other town, Heshbrawn, and there were giant rats, yucky insects and worgs, and then OWLBEARS, can you believe that?! And Anon got his arm chomped clean through, it was so scary, I had to heal him like three times! And we got a super cool reward!” She practically shoves her hand forward, wiggling her fingers so the ring catches the light.

Well, she didn’t mention everything, or that the ring is magical either, but Garnet is a powerful mage, so she should detect it at a glance and decided to say nothing, but it doesn’t really matter.

“My, my...” Garnet’s lips curve, clearly entertained. “That is quite a lot to unpack. I think this adventure is also where you have temporarily lost your armor for repairs, correct?”

“Yeah, among other things.” I answer honestly.

Just one day, though.

“I can tell.” Garnet tilts her head. “So, what brings you to my home this time? Do you perhaps want more magic lessons? Or perhaps you need help with something… magical?” She smirks at the last part, making me roll my eyes.

Before I can answer, the lamia arrives at the office, slithering in and settling smoothly beside Garnet, coiling her tail loosely around the chair and… well, around Garnet herself especially around… Okay, she is just hugging the woman and let’s leave it like that.

Wait a minute…

I just noticed that the lamia isn’t giving me any special attention. No shy glances, no blushing, or anything, despite the fact that I’m not wearing the helmet. A small detail that has made me catnip for every other woman I’ve crossed paths with since.

She is paying attention to Garnet.

Not that I need every woman glued to me, but it’s strange to get zero reaction from her after the majority of women turned to look at me at the very least. 

No, wait, didn’t Garnet mention back in the tunnels about a pretty face not being enough to… Okay, damn. Man or woman, Garnet definitely can back her words.

“It’s just a few questions. And after that, if you could help me understand some new spells, that’d be great. We just leveled up, and I’ve got potential for two new ones.”

Protection from evil and Absorb Elements sounds pretty straightforward spell, but I didn’t know how to channel them and cast them despite how much I practiced on my own before sleep.

“Of course, no problem. It’s always an excellent trait to recognize one’s limited knowledge and prepare time to expand one’s magical knowledge and tap into one’s inner potential. But first, your questions, since I’m quite sure they’ll be interesting from the short summary Sana has so kindly provided us.”

“Ehehehehe~”

“Okay, I have to start from the beginning...”

Garnet merely nods, folding her hands while her partner finds a better position to rest her head on her shoulder.

So I start explaining our latest adventure to the town of Heshbrawn, from the moment we left, to finding the dead people impaled at the crossroad, the strange situation in Heshbrawn with the missing people, and finally the owlbears, especially the one that somehow used magic. However, I leave out any mention of captain ‘Dorden’.

And as expected, the owlbear part actually catches her full attention.

“That was certainly quite the adventure, Anon.” She says. “My condolences for stumbling onto that horrid sight at the crossroads.”

I honestly don’t know how to respond to that. It’s strange, but I guess it’s a nice thing to hear from others.

“Do you have any idea what that might’ve been about?”

“Impaling people? No, no idea at all. But the mention of corrupted magic lingering around, combined with the capital dispatching experts for it, all I can draw from that is cultists.”

“Cultists?” Sana perks up.

“Dangerous group, but they’re… rare, especially within the kingdom, and they wouldn’t normally do something THAT brazen. Usually they’re reaching for new sources of power, and the natural flow of magic corrupts as a side effect of those reckless and foolish attempts. But again, extremely rare, and they wouldn’t typically stoop to killing indiscriminately and sadistically, innocents like that. And monsters, even the more intelligent races, aren’t organized enough to pull off that level of barbarism because that method was created to maximize psychological terror.”

“That’s plain awful, still.”

And also makes me uncomfortable to remember the bodies and faces of pure terror and agony from those people.

“But now, your owlbear fight, that’s truly interesting. Those beasts come in many shapes, but hearing one capable of manipulating magic, THAT is truly a first.” Her eyes sharpen with curiosity. “Did you manage to get anything? Any samples, by chance? A heart, perhaps, or some of its feathers?”

“Eh, no. Didn’t cross my mind.” I smile sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head.

We did get a core from the magical one, but I already consumed it, and I’m not about to mention that part.

Garnet’s expression dims, and she clicks her tongue. “What a shame. I would have loved a sample. There is so much to learn from these mutants.”

“We can try next time!” Sana adds cheerfully.

I nod in agreement, although not anytime soon. “Yeah, we can, but it’d be tricky to bring it back. It’d rot before we got anywhere, and I’m not exactly thrilled about hauling rotting entrails around and ruining all my food in the process.”

“Oh, nonono, that won’t be a problem at all.” The mage clears her throat. “Lyriss, my dear, could you bring a frostbox and that guide?”

“Sure, darling.” The lamia, Lyriss apparently, uncoils and slithers out of the room.

“Frostbox?” I ask.

Garnet raises an eyebrow at me. “Yes, of course, a frostbox. What else would you use to preserve things?”

Wait a minute. Is she talking to what I think she’s talking about?

“Judging by that expression…” Garnet says slowly, setting her hands together, “...you truly don’t know what a frostbox is?”

“Honey, you don’t know?” Sana turns to look at me, blinking in surprise.

Even Sana knows?!

Okay… wrong thought, and unfair to her. Bad Anon, bad.

Garnet’s eyes widen as she takes my expression as confirmation, and she stands up so fast her chair nearly tips over. “This won’t do at all! One cannot go walking around this world without knowing the history behind one of the greatest inventions of our age!” She’s already crossing the room, moving with surprising urgency for someone who looked so composed a minute ago.

Sana grabs my hand and pulls me along before I can even protest.

“This’ll be fun, darling!” She whispers to me, grinning.

And we go to the classroom.

Apparently, we’re getting a full history lesson on frostboxes, which turn out to be the medieval fantasy equivalent of refrigerators. A wooden or metal box engraved with ice runes, keeping food and other perishables preserved for a very long time. They came to be because mages didn’t want to spend their time managing food stock, so inventing these freed up a lot of hours for their actual studies and research. They’re everywhere now since they’ve become extremely accessible, so most households have one, and warehouses and storage rooms use bigger versions called frigidarium instead. Garnet walks us through exactly how the ice runes function, how long preservation lasts depending on the complexity of the runes carved, and yeah, it’s basically a fridge in every way. Except instead of electricity, chemicals, and thermodynamics, it’s magic doing all the work.

Which, in turn, actually explains a couple of things I hadn’t thought much about before. For starters, the food’s been consistently good since I woke up in this world. It didn’t matter if it was street food or a restaurant, or the inn. Fresh meat has always been available to buy at decent prices, when I know from a bit of history that meat used to be a noble’s luxury most of the time, and what commoners got was usually dried or salted.

And I cannot forget the availability of spices.

Maybe that even explains why there aren’t many villages scattered outside the city walls, now that I think about it. To feed a city the size of Beginera, there should be massive crop fields right outside. Hell, even in Heshbrawn the fields weren’t THAT big either.

So they had stored food or were importing.

It also explains why people weren’t panicking or kicking up a fuss when they weren’t allowed to freely leave the city during the worst of the monster surge. There has to be a lot of food perfectly preserved sitting in warehouses somewhere.

Huh.

Food preservation really does change a lot more than I’d have guessed. It cuts down the strain and labor of agriculture, freeing people up to develop other parts of the economy instead. Garnet’s right to call it one of the most important inventions in this world.

Maybe there’s magic involved in growing the crops themselves too.

That might honestly explain half the anachronistic weirdness I keep running into, instead of just justifying it as hentai world logic.

Lyriss slithers back in a minute later, a small wooden box held carefully in both hands and a thick book tucked under one arm. She passes the box to Garnet with a gentle smile, then settles by the wall, her tail curling neatly beneath her before she grabs a nearby book and starts reading after adjusting her glasses.

“Thank you, my dear.” Garnet takes the box and holds it up like a prize. “Behold, my students. The frostbox.”

It’s about the size of a lunch bag, dark wood with a metal latch, and the sides are covered in small runes that glow a faint, cool blue when the wizard tilts it toward the light.

“The runes along the interior walls regulate the temperature.” She starts her explanation, popping the lid to show the insides. “The outer ones draw ambient mana to keep the enchantment running. This is a small model, so it will hold the organs of one large monster, or a few smaller ones for roughly three weeks before the runes need recharging.”

“That’s a lot of time.” That’s seriously impressive.

“I am gifting this to you both so you can preserve any monster material you collect in the future.” She sets the frostbox in my hands, then takes the book and places it on top. “And this is a field guide to monster harvesting. It covers which parts are valuable for each species and how to extract them cleanly without damaging them.”

I raise a brow and flip it open, and I’m greeted by a lot of diagrams, labeled anatomy, and brief notes. A quick read and quickly realizes that this is really easy to follow, especially that there’s even a step-by-step guide for each monster.

Amazing.

“Ooh, ooh!” Sana’s hand shoots up. “We could use it to keep our water cold too! Imagine drinking ice-cold water in the middle of a hot day, it’d be sooo good!”

Honestly, that’s a fair point.

Garnet blinks, then lets out a soft chuckle. “That is... not what I designed it for. But yes, I suppose it would work, provided you don’t mind the taste. But I would rather not have anyone drinking from a container that once held monster entrails.”

“Gross!” Sana gasps, then giggles anyway. “Okay, okay, no ugly water. Got it~!”

“Yeah, we’re definitely not mixing those two.” I turn the box over in my hands, imagining carrying it everywhere on our travels, and quickly discover a problem. “Hey, do you have any rope or something I can use to strap this to my backpack? It’d be annoying to carry in my arms all the time.”

“Oh...” Garnet pauses, scratching her cheek. “I did forget about that detail.” She turns her head toward the beast girl. “Lyriss, would you please find some rope?”

“Of course, darling!” The lamia closes her book and leaves the room.

She returns a moment later, carrying a long cord over one arm, and passes it to her partner. The mage takes it and surprises us by tying up a very complex knot. 

“There.” She holds it up proudly. “This should attach to your backpack without any trouble.”

“Thanks.” I test the knot, and it doesn’t budge. “That’s... a really solid knot.”

“I have had practice,” she says, a grin curling on her lips.

Behind her, Lyriss looks away, suddenly very interested in the ceiling. Her cheeks turning pink and her tail is wagging like a dog’s.

…I’m not going to ask.

“Wow!” Sana leans in to inspect it, selectively oblivious. “Garnet, can you teach me that one? It looks super cool!”

“Perhaps another day.” Garnet’s grin doesn’t slip an inch. “It requires a rather specific kind of... patience.”

Lyriss quietly coughs into her hand.

I really shouldn’t ask.

“Now then...” Garnet clasps her hands together. “I will compensate you accordingly whenever you bring me monsters’ organs.”

Oh, nice, we just got a side gig. Or side-quest to be more accurate.

“We will!” Sana cheerfully chimes in. “Leave it to us, Garnet! We’re very reliable adventurers!”

“Splendid.” Garnet makes her way to the front of the room, then glances back at us. “Anyway, we have been sidetracked for quite a while. Please take a seat. We should begin with mana theory to refresh your memory before we tackle channeling your mana and understanding the basics of your new spells.”

She turns around and picks up a piece of chalk.

Sana lets out a long, dramatic groan as she slumps across her desk, cheek pressed to the wood and her ears drooping flat.

“But it’s so booooring...” She mumbles into the desk. “My brain’s gonna melt, darling.”

“Sana…” I whisper to the dancer. “You were the one who wanted to learn magic, remember?”

She was quite vocal about learning cool fire spells.

“I wanted to learn the cool stuff! Not the boring stuff!” She lifts her head just enough to pout at me. “Can’t I just yell ‘fireball’ really hard and have it work?”

“I was quite clear with you that’s not how that works,” Garnet says without turning around, the chalk scratching a circle onto the slate. “Which, I will remind you, is precisely why we are starting with theory.”

“Awwww...”

Garnet pauses, chalk hovering above the slate. She doesn’t turn around. She simply raises her free hand and traces a few quick patterns in the air, glowing lines of light.

A moment later, something small and colorful zips across the room and lands with a soft clunk on Sana’s desk.

The dancer lifts her head.

It’s a Rubik’s cube. A 5x5, at that.

“Ooh!” Sana’s ears shoot straight up, her eyes sparkling. “A Rubik’s cube! And it has more sides than the one we had!”

“A little something to have fun with while I set up.” Our teacher comments.

Sana snatches it up and starts twisting, tongue poking out the corner of her mouth in concentration.

I’ve never managed to solve a standard 3x3 in my entire life, let alone this monstrosity. But Sana somehow solved the 3x3 when I gave her one. Right… the two cubes we had are long gone, lost somewhere back at the inn.

Garnet glances over her shoulder at me with a knowing smile.

I just shrug. Honestly, I don’t mind. If a puzzle is what it takes to keep Sana quiet and happy, I’m all in. Besides, puzzle games help to keep the mind sharp.

“Don’t you dare disturb me, Anon.” Sana whispers, not looking up from the puzzle.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I chuckle.

“Now, mana flows through the body...” Garnet begins, tapping the board.

And so we spend the rest of the day learning more about magic. 

By the time the lesson ends, my girlfriend holds the 5x5 up triumphantly, every face a perfect solid color.

“Done~! Ehehe, I’m a genius!”

Damn…

--------------------------------------------

I adjust the magic torch mounted on my helmet so it doesn’t fall off.

Just as Esme promised, she finished my armor repairs in a day and had everything ready this early morning. She even gave it all a nice polish, so my armor looks almost brand new. Which, with a heavy heart, is about to be premiered in the sewers.

Yeah, this is the quest Jess gave us for today. On the bright side, it’s one of the available quests we can take as a two member party instead of being stuck kicking rocks because of the three member rule. There are plenty of quests that don’t require three party members, which makes them perfect for newbies too.

The quest itself is pretty simple. An adventurer went down into the sewers last night and never came back. Jess believes the woman got lost down there, so we’re here to check on her and bring her home.

That was also a problem with the sluts not doing the bare minimum. Adventurers would go missing on easy quests, and nobody would send a search party after them, which resulted in even more deaths. So those two, besides losing their hair privileges, are totally fucked. 

A death sentence is basically guaranteed at this point, and being related to a city lord won’t save their asses. 

They can only pray for a quick beheading and not one of those torture executions.

We turn around a corner and find the same room that was mysteriously filled with dirt last time. The difference is that there are now clear signs of excavation, like the city or the dwarves finally got around to digging it out. Maybe half the work is done, at least. It also opens up a new route, so we head there first.

“Darling.” Sana calls out after we’ve been walking for a while.

“Yeah?”

“Haven’t you noticed we haven’t found any monsters?”

I stop walking, then slowly turn my head. “Huh... You’re right. That’s kind of odd, isn’t it? Last time this place was packed with slimes.”

She nods, tapping a finger against her chin. “Maybe killing the boss is what caused it?”

I remember the king slimes would turn into smaller slimes when hit hard enough, and also that we also took care of the strange and evil mana source.

“That’s very likely it.” I shrug. “Either way, it just makes our job easier, so let’s keep going.”

“Okay!” She pauses, then adds in a hopeful whisper. “But if one pops out of the wall...”

“I will take care of it.”

We follow the corridor further in, our footsteps echoing off the damp stone but it’s not the only noise as we hear water dripping somewhere in the dark. Then something squelches under Sana’s foot.

“Kyaaaa! What was that?!”

“Probably just mud.” I quickly answer her.

I fucking hope so.

“Probably?!” She hops on one foot, shaking the other. “Don’t say probably, Anon, say definitely!”

“Definitely mud.”

“Thank you!”

I’ll help her wash it off back at the inn. I should also look into buying her a pair of slippers at least, even if there’s some weird logic in this world about how she always has smooth, pristine feet.

After walking a while longer, we reached a fork with two routes. I look at Sana, and her ears suddenly perk up, swiveling toward the left.

“Hear something?”

“Kinda?” She frowns, ears twitching. “I think... I think we should get closer.”

So we head left, and I keep an eye on her ears for any new reaction. And right on cue, they don’t take long to lock onto something.

“I... I think those are screams!”

I nod firmly and refocus on what’s ahead of us.

We don’t rush in blind. Instead, we walk fast but carefully, because one wrong step could send us slipping and face first into sewage. Eventually, I hear a loud screaming coming from just around the next corner. 

And it’s definitely a woman.

That has to be our missing adventurer, and we’re right on time to rescue her.

I tighten my grip on my sword and glance at Sana, who nods back at me, reaffirming she’s just as readily.

Then we turn the corner and...

“FUCK YESSSSSS!!”

Missing adventurer, my ass…

Sana gasps and looks away as soon as our eyes land on a semi-naked woman with short green hair laying on the floor with dozens of green and blue slimes on top of her, and yep, they are fucking her... And also her tits? The hell? 

They seem to be going in and out non-stop, some are even forming tentacles to fuck her more, and they are also slapping her tits and ass.

And the bitch is loving it.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people?! No wait, this is a hentai world... This is what WAS supposed to be like everywhere.

“Uhhh... Anon? I-I think we should...” Sana stammers, but I cut her off by putting my gauntlet over her mouth and pulling her behind the corner and out of sight.

“No,” I whisper. “No. We’re not seeing this. I refuse. We’ll just tell Jess we couldn’t find her.”

“B-But the quest...”

“Screw the quest!”

“No! We promised to help people when we graduated, so we are going to help, and that’s final!” Sana stomps her foot as she raises her voice at me, showing a surprisingly strong attitude. “So we are going to... uhh... do something!”

“And what are we supposed to do? Join her?!”

Interrupt her, but that would involve touching that.

“UUUUOOOHHHH THAT’S SOOOOOOO GOOD!”

Sana goes completely silent and crosses her arms, her fluffy tail thrashing behind her. “N-Not funny, darling! I’m trying to be serious here! This is a person in need! We can’t just leave her here with monsters!”

She’s right… fuck I know she is. Leaving her here would be abandoning our duty as adventurers. But damn it all, I really, really don’t want to get involved with that slut.

“Fine...” I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. “Fine... Let’s just get over with.”

My girlfriend, blushing furiously, gives me a nod.

I take a deep breath, and step back around the corner.

“I-I-I AM CUMMING!!”

The bitch’s eyes are rolled back in her head, her mouth hanging open as she pants and moans, her body arching off the ground as the slimes continue their relentless assault. I can’t help but notice the way her stomach bulges as the slimes fill her up… No, they are doing unbirth play…

Okay, that’s enough.

I exchange a look with Sana, who shrugs helplessly. I’m so fed up at that point that I just cast Burning Blade and kill all the slimes, not caring if I actually hurt the bimbo because Sana could just heal her.

The monster’s slut head snaps up, her eyes wide with shock. “What the... HEY! WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?!”

“Your dad.” I answer, my voice flat. “You are grounded. Go home.”

She sits up, glaring at me, her hands flying to cover her sticky and abused breasts. “Who the fuck are you to ruin my fun?!”

“We’re with the Adventurer’s Guild.” Sana steps in, trying to look as professional as possible despite wearing the same burning face. “You were reported missing so…We’re here to rescue you.”

The slut scoffs. “Rescue me? I was having the time of my life! You should’ve joined me, it was amazing! Those little guys know how to fuck!”

Sana’s face turns a new tone of beet red.

“Of course! It’s not every day you find a whole swarm of them willing to fill you up like that!”

I merely groan. “Woman... do you know where the fuck are we?”

“It’s Rae, not ‘woman’ you asshole. And yes, this is the city sewers!” She says with a smug grin.

Is she stupid? No, wrong word… Is she retarded?

“Yeah, the SEWERS.” I gesture at our surroundings with my sword. “You were getting your brains fucked out in a literal shit tunnel.”

Rae crosses her arms, her scowl deepening. “For your information, this section is clean!”

“It’s clean, she says...” I mutter when my eyes widen in realization. “Rae, why do you think this section is clean? Use your brain for a second.”

“Because the slimes eat the filth, duh! They keep it all tidy for their nests!”

My jaw drops in horror at hearing my fears coming to reality.

“A-Anon...” Sana whispers, her ears drooping as her blush has disappeared. “I think we should leave. Now.”

The fox girl shares my realization too and covers her mouth as she gags a little.

“Oh come on! What’s with that attitude as if somebody just died.” Rae keeps talking because she OBVIOUSLY doesn’t understand what she just said.

“Because, you dumbass!” I finally snap and decide to not beat around the bush. “The slimes ate all the shit here, cannot you fucking understand that?!”

The slut’s smug look vanishes, her face going pale as the gears in her head slowly turn. “W-What?”

“How the fuck didn’t you notice that?! You even told us a moment ago!”

Silence.

“W-Wait, that would explain the awful tast-“

I’m going to be sick.

I’m actually doing everything to not gag and throw up right here.

Her eyes go wide with dawning horror, her face going sickly pale. She looks down at her own body, at the slime still glistening on her skin, and lets out a bloodcurdling scream.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”

She scrambles backward, her hands flailing wildly as she tries to wipe the filth from her body, her movements frantic and clumsy. Her foot slips on the damp stone, and she goes down with a loud splash, landing face-first in a puddle of what is, hopefully, just water.

“S-See?” Sana speaks up with a pained expression, tugging on my arm. “I-I told you we should have helped her.”

I hate this world…

AN: Important clarification Sana didn't step in of that disgusting stuff, she stepped on a clump of mold. And in fact the slimes are clean monsters despite they varied diet just think of them similar of Dungeon Meshi too, they are just have bad taste in general not because of what they eat.