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Rough Chapter (Patreon)

Published:
2022-03-01 20:47:24
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

I posted a short blip of the novel I have been writing on TikTok a few days ago, and have since been asked to share more. So, in an effort to conquer my imposter syndrome, here we are!

I know this isn't the usual Hells Belles content you expect, but for those who are curious about my literary writing style and want a peek at what else I'm working on, here is the first "chapter" of the book I hope to someday publish. 

This is a first draft, unedited, and straight from the Scrivener file. Please keep any comments and critiques kind, but I would love to hear your thoughts! 

- Jaysea 

Comments

Amanda Fair

Can’t wait to get to read the book. Very well written.

Kayla

So damn good I’ve got chills. I NEED this book the very second you’ve published. The moments with rags were sweet but not overly so and really served well as a glimpse of Thana’s humanity and showed how far she’d been pushed from it to survive too. Beautifully done.

Allison Hardt

This HAS to be a book if it's not yet!!! 😍

Becca P

This is Fantastic!! I cannot tell you how long it's been since I read anything so engrossing. I was so immersed in this world that when I finished I had lost all track of time and place. Thank you for an absolute delight. I look forward to buying a First Edition. ❤

C Williams

❤️❤️❤️. I need this book in my life.

Momming_with_EDS

This was an excellent, engaging, and intriguing opening to what I'm sure will be a phenomenal book. Well done. Also, I'm now obsessed with a story that only has the first chapter released, and it's not cool!

Bema

I’ll be waiting with bated breath for the next instalment/release of this book. It’ll be another page-turner.

Troutwaxer

Wow. That's awesome, intense stuff.

Sweet Blood

Still hoping for the next chapter to be released eventually ^,..,^

Jessica

I absolutely love this. ❤️

Soozle_Echidna

Absolutely incredible read! I can’t wait for more of anything from you!

Racyreads

I loved reading every second of this❤️ you are an amazing writer.

Crys Cain

This is great—captured my attention and held it and makes me want to read more!

Jacki Robbert

This is amazing i love ur descriptive writing style i can like jump right into the story keep it up love it

Crys Cain
>>78939319

After watching your tiktok about your imposter syndrome, I want to emphasize, as an editor who has seen a LOT of shitty first drafts, this is top 5% first draft quality. Keep writing!

Brian Shannon

WOAH! Grabbed my attention right from the start, slowly building on who Thana is and the hints that the word/name "Thana" has some important hidden meaning to her that she daren't share. A-1 'rough draft'!!

Staffan Lindell

As someone who has literally thousands of books in my collection. If this is what you call a rough draft, I am eagerly anticipating the finished product. We, as your patreons, obviously like your style, however this is something else. I would even dare to say your paragraphs are pieces of art. By far and away the best first draft I have ever read.

Esther Birkinbine

This is a really good start. I can't wait to read more!

Aaron Moore

Definitely fantastic! Honestly, one of the best first drafts I have read. Grabs the attention and gives just enough to keep you hooked and wanting to keep reading. Such a unique style of writing that I haven't read before, I can't wait to see more! Keep it up!

Elizabeth Schechter

Commenting as I'm reading: That HOOK! That's a great first line. Some good turns of phrase here. Pigs flying out of the Overseer's ass. Fantastic. This is good. This is really good. You've got SOLID bones here. Thana is fleshed out enough that you already care about her, and I hit the end and wanted the rest of her story. Keep on going. I want to see how it ends.

Jamie Murphy

I’m already hooked! Love the descriptive style. I definitely can’t wait to read more!

Beele

Intriguing, not my usual type of book,

Skye

That is so captivating, very well written imo. Can't wait for more 👀

Harley Easton

My only complaint is no chap 2. This is a strong beginning!

Elizabeth E

Very captivating and engaging. Definitely leaves me wanting to read more! Keep up the great work!

Holly Perrin

I've been a book nut my whole life and I'm also muddling my way through trying to write a book for the first time, so based on my personal experience, I can say with absolute certainty that your first sentence is gold. A+++ hook, like damn. The little hairs on my arms stood up, it was great :D. I also love the cadence and feel of your writing, you have a really good voice as an author. Once it's edited, I think this'll be the kind of book where I forget I'm reading and just exist inside the book for a while. I will happily and immediately buy this book when you're done with it :)

Dennis Blackburn

Wow! You do have a way with words. It gives me a feeling of Robert E Howard and Edgar Rice Burroughs (no, not the Tarzan series). I want to know more about the dragons (sky sharks?). Please do not give up on this. Thank you for sharing.

Erin Bott

The flow and tone of the entire chapter is great! Each pause adds just the right amount of suspense as well. I can’t wait to read more and buy it whenever it gets published! The only thing I would fix is the proportions of the dragon that was described sounds off.

Isabella A

The only thing I can say is that I want more story because I need to know what happens next now

Masen Moore

Damn... I want to know what's going to happen and I want her to slaughter ALL of them. This is so good.

Matthew Lane

Was very good especially for a rough draft would love to buy the book when ever it’s ready

Maryann

Halfway through page one I knew I would have bought it immediately if it were a book in a store. It was so captivating that at the end I tried scrolling down three times before I realized there wasn’t any more - I thought my phone froze! lol It’s been a while since I’ve been so thoroughly captured by a story. 100% will buy for myself and my friends when it’s finished!!

Maryann
>>78974365

I love the way you said “forget I’m reading and just exist inside the book for a while” because that’s exactly what happened to me while reading this. 😁

Doug

I agree with the general opinion. You are doing well for a first draft. I’ve done a number of chapter by chapter full book critiques for writers working on first novels. You should finish this story if you have a solid plot for it. Yes, it reads like a first draft but better than a lot that I’ve seen. I really like the way you developed her character. Very tasty. Thanks for the opportunity to read.

Mary Skaggs

Thank you so much for sharing this with us!!! 💙💙🔥🔥🔥 I would definitely buy this!!! Keep being amazing girl!!! Lots of ❤️

Lunae_umbra

Your rough draft reads better than so many of the published books I've read. Really hope you end up with a book deal one day soon because this story deserves one.

Aj Hawkins

i finally got a chance to read it, and omg it’s amazing, can’t wait for more

Jacq

I’ve been trying to read this for three days and every time I sat down to read it, I was interrupted. It was SO worth the wait. You’ve got me hooked and I’m so excited to read more and learn more about Thana.

Arhirish

This is great I would love to read more of this story. You have started to develop great characters and their background and story lines.

Sarah R

Well now I’m hooked

Carrie Brooks

Forgot it was only a chapter, got to the end and was acutely frustrated there wasn’t more to read! Honestly, it’s already better than a quite a lot of stuff on KU. You are a Very Good Author. Please keep writing. (I volunteer as tribute to be a beta reader. Please?)

Skyeleigh Scott

I absolutely love the rough draft. Granted it may need some Grammer editing but since this is my third time reading it... I think I'm hooked... Ps I never re read books if they don't hold my interest in the first chapter so VERY good job!!!

Elena Maldonado-Dunn

this is absolutely stunning. i’m sure patreon comments can get overwhelming, and nothing helps the imposter syndrome, but i’m being utterly objective when i say that this is serious quality writing. it’s clear you have a fully realized world you’re building, but the natural way you handle exposition lets us discover it piece by piece. the main character is captivating, and her story feels like an important one. i truly can’t wait to see this published one day, and i hope to see more updates soon!

Nate

I very much look forward to being able to purchase this when you finish the book. Excellent writing. Really grabbed my attention from the beginning. Thank you for sharing.

Grim Grims

I usually don’t read but this was so good that I can’t wait for the rest. Seriously great job.

Merrianne Dean

I read sci fi, fantasy and historical novels voraciously. I am looking forward to buying your work for years to come. You so obviously know how to tell a tale worth reading!

Thomas Bush

Please finish this book. I am already invested and to know what happens in the saga of Thana!

Kim Bowie

The dialogue in Hells Bells was more than enough to convince me you've got more talent than you think. This chapter nailed it. This is solid work. Keep it up.

Abbadabadingdong

actually awesome, when you publish il be the first to pre-order a copy.

Kat 💜

More, please.

Katrina Dorscher

I knew it was going to be good, I just didn’t know I was going to read through it so fast!! Can’t wait to see where you go with it!!

Melissa Showers

This is fantastic! I hope you continue as I would love to see what happens with Thana next. ❤️

Lo

Wow.... I am in awe. Your writing style is so compelling. I have been so drawn in that I lamented the chapter ending. I desperately need more of this story. I love the toying with her name and her clinging to the name the miners gave her. I can't wait to hear more of her story. Brilliant work!

Amy Cushman

I would love to read more of this. It’s so good

Luna

SO GOOD the world building is written is a way that really keeps your attention, which can be really hard to do!! i really hope you post more ahhh

Diesel Frog

I like the tone and feeling. I want to know more about these people. It is a very strong start

Mandy Rountree

I loved it. I would love to read more.

Van Brewer

So good. Non-writer's observation: you write to all the senses - makes for an intimate, personal narrative even if its gory.

Dawn Shelly

This is good. I do proof reading and editing for people for free. I’m attempting to start my own online editing business someday. Please let me know if you ever want editing, beta reading, or proofreading services.

Stephanie Bowcott

I need more of this! I've been in a reading slump and made the mistake of reading this.... now I'm even more in a slump because all I want to read is more of Thana's story!!!!! Absolutely incredible!

Baron Erich

This is good. Have you considered putting it on Vella?

A.C.

Compelling, it sucks us in and immerses into Thana's world seamlessly. Can't wait for more!!

Christopher

That was compelling … I need a whole series of this please!!

Amy Collins

Hi. I am a literary agent with Talcott Notch and a huge fan. If your plans include a publishing deal, I would love to talk about your goals. Please feel free to email me at acollins@talcottnotch.net If nothing else, I would be happy to help you explore your many options.

Alexis

Well I’m definitely hooked!

Finley Klee

You did such a good job painting the setting I feel like I can smell it. It made my stomach queasy. But I’m really invested in Thana and what will happen to her.

Stormy

I LOVE it!! The story griped me from the word go!

Angel

totaly just wow