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Thank you all so much for your patience! My break was much needed, and gave me time to deal with things that I very much needed to deal with. Emotionally it was... a lot, for various personal reasons, and I hope that it hasn't affected my writing quality and consistency. 

I so appreciate your honest and genuine feedback, healthy criticism and comments are a great way to learn. Part of this was written sitting on a boat, trying to crank out as many words as possible before I used up too much of the battery (we used my laptop to watch movies at night and charging it could be tricky so I was on a very tight 'battery budget') and the rest was written at home, while fuming that the flow wasn't coming back as easily as I'd hoped. 

I hope that this is a worthy, if shorter than usual, addition to the story. It's a bit of a bridge until we get to the more punchy emotional stuff. Like what happened to Bel. 

Thank you all! 

J

Comments

Jennie

I can’t wait to read this!!! So glad you took the time you needed!

Crimson leCreme

Welcome back! Life be lifing for a lot of people rn and we all deserve loving kindness and space to thrive. I can't wait to read (and will admit I may have been more mad if I didn't already know they all survive- unless you pull a Dallas and the web series is a grief dream! 😂, that would be a twist)...

Nicole Ice

Yaaaassss I just binged the other 31 chapters again! I'm so so excited! Welcome back 🥰

Ollie

Welcome back! I missed you hope you’re doing good

LeAnne

So glad for a chapter, glad you were able to get the break you needed.

Kristiane Laucht

Did Carlton just smack Lily in the face with lingerie?

?Eli?

Welcome back 🥰🥰 this chapter was such a rollercoaster of emotions and I loved it all!!!!!

Dominique Travis

Welcome back. Sorry emotions suck. Hope the trip was great. Carlton made me fucking cry. Your vision of God lines up with how I always imagined him.

Kat 💜

Oh honey! So much angst and sadness. Thank you for how you portrayed God apologizing to Lily. Well done. And Sharkie sure knows how to find the loop holes. But, Bel came straight to Lily's paradise after the last battle. If he does the same after this one, he'll panic if his girls aren't there 🥺

Peter Psareas

So happy Sharkie,Max, and Lily are safe. Max was ready to throw down. Can’t wait for the battle outcome. Especially for Asmodeous and most importantly Bel.

TheDiceSmith

I'm glad that you took a much needed and deserved break. Although I will admit I was sad to not get chapters your wellbeing is more important. Thank you for another beautiful rollercoaster

Peter Psareas

I’ll be sure to have tissues for the next chapter

Malinda Christensen

Hooray you're back! Thank you for the birthday present! (New chapter 😀)

Autielin_the_witch

So good to have u back!! Hope u has an awesome vacation and relaxed as much as possible. This chapter was awesome. So anxious for Bel to come home but I have a feeling shit will hit the fan before that happens. Ur amazing and a badass.

Dominique Travis

Oh oh oh, and great forshadowing on Lily becoming more after life than mortal soul.

Kristiane Laucht

That was brilliant, completely and utterly brilliant. The way she went off on God, the way she panicked and roused on Sharkie for being outside, Carlton being the best paradise home. Loved it, loved all of it.

C Williams

“She’s the Hell lady dude, she knows stuff.” Thats a priceless line. Welcome back.

Elizabeth

I love that souls explanation of why lily know. I’m nervous about bel. Great chapter great story telling

Thomas Forrest

Welcome back! I’m glad that you were able to take the time that you needed! Always remember that you should feel free to take a break any time you need it, we’ll all be here patiently waiting! This was another great chapter, and as much as I want to know what’s going on with Bel, a much needed interlude chapter. Thank you for portraying God and Lily’s meeting as you did. I feel like that is a conversation that is relevant to lots of people, and you seem to have done it with great care and justice. You definitely made me cry (and then laugh while crying lol) with all of the Carlton scenes. Can’t wait to absolutely sob when the next chapter comes (even if I know Bel will get better!) Keep up the amazing work! I can’t wait to buy all of your first editions that are sure to come!

Thomas Forrest

Truly one of the greats! Don’t forget the “That.”! The only worthy response to such a great line!

Jennie

Okay first of all, jaysea!!! You doubt yourself a lot and let me just tell you this: You. Are. Amazing. At. Everything. You. Do!!!!! This chapter has me in all the feels. The religious trauma healing, the fear for safety, the absolute terrifying thought that sharkie may have left paradise to the relief when they were safe! I am constantly in awe of your writing and acting abilities. You are by far my favorite author! (Second favorite is now James Patterson, but you beat him out in the first 3 chapters). I hope your break was good and don’t burn yourself out trying to do anything more than you can handle. YOU come first, then everything else. Also, side note: the conversation Lily and God had reminded me of a song I’ve been scream singing all week (the book doesn’t sell -ritt momney). Thank you so much for all the energy and love you put into this series. ❤️

Melissa

Excellent! Love your writing. This story has me riveted. One small suggestion though on page 9 is this “know.” She managed to say them calmly, honestly, but they ravaged her throat. The they and them in this sentence read a little off to me. Again thank you for writing this I am so excited!

Monique

Wow! I have so many feelings about this. The way you wrote God hit me right in the chest. It’s something I’ve struggled with myself, who is He and what is He really. I’m glad that Lily was able to have that confrontation and get some answers, I hope it helped a little. I love Carlton and how supportive he is for a house. All he wants are his people to be safe and happy. He’s very saucy too, throwing out lingerie and spicy books. I’m so scared for Bel, I want him home already.

Trish Ramey

Amazing. No other words but amazing. This one got me in my feels and dropped me in a pit of worry. Welcome back, BTW. We missed you.🥰

Tatianna

You disappear for weeks and the moment you come back you make me ugly cry? Thank you. This is exactly what I wanted. Welcome back! 💜

Diesel Frog

The confrontation with God was amazing. It made me tear up.

Annika Corbijn

Welcome back! That was a lovely return home, I can’t wait for Bel to have the same 😜

Jordan Yeager

I really really really hope you enjoyed having some time off but a chapter after sooooo long WITHOUT AN UPDATE ON BEL IS KILLLLLLLING ME!!!! You’re such a good writer I’ve literally been thinking about what happens to him (when clearly he survives) for a whole month EVERY DAMN DAY AND NOW IM STILL WAITING! You should buy stock in Kleenex because the tears are getting ridiculous! Anyway love you lots! Hope you had fun taking a break!

Jordan Yeager

I CACKLED!!! I had to read it four times because I kept distracting myself with my laughter

Malinda Christensen

God apologizing had me tearing up 😭 I think a lot of us needed to hear/read that. You're doing an amazing job!💜

Embeth Arreyn

Fucking. Stunning. Seriously, Jaysea, I know these words aren't magically going to make it stop, but you can stop doubting yourself. I mean it. When I read your writing, the world falls away. You incite so many emotions, so powerfully, all at once. Lily killing that thing, turning around, and the first interaction she ever has with God is yelling at him and getting an apology?? I simultaneously teared up and felt like I could climb a mountain. And seriously, I keep saying this, as a former service member turned army wife, I feel. All. Of. This. So fucking hard. My husband had to be away the past few weeks, and even though I know it was just training and he was fine, I was still worried for him every single day. I missed him so much it hurt like nothing I've ever felt. I'm a mother, and every single day I worry over my son. I know you're writing things you haven't experienced firsthand, but I can tell you, it doesn't feel like that. These are lived experiences for me, and you make them feel like they are for you, too. You are truly a treasure and I hope you can believe it.

Tzwaenia.fox

What a great thing to see before going to work! So happy you are back and that chapter - love the conversation with God. You are such a good writer, you managed to made me so curious about how things are going on that I was thinking about it for the last month nearly every day. Now the only thing I need to know is how Bel is coming back!

Embeth Arreyn

Just a brief editorial note, I noticed two typos: page 2, "who have *cause* untold harm..." instead of "caused," and page 10, Lily's statement, "Will do, buddy..." is missing an end quotation mark. Nothing else jumped out at me, awesome job!!

cosmic Water

I'm so glad you're back I've been obsessed with your story I've watched your tiktok series 3 times this month and constantly think about the book love your work you are doing an amazing job. I even got my girlfriend into the series. I can't wait for the next chapter

Charlie T

yippee!! things are going well!!

Callahan Noelle Davenport

So fantastic yet again! I hope your break was restful and that you are feeling yourself in a better place now. Cannot wait to read the next chapter!

Ari Finnie

Chapter was awesome, but I'm mildly terrified of the fact that you said your next chapters are going to be more emotionally punchy given I'm crying rn at this chapter. Like are you going to pull a good omens 2 and just devastate us all lol.

Regina Winter

Now that is an excellent welcome back chapter.

Peter Psareas

Well said. I love Jaysea’s work. I read it over and over. Watch TT’s over and over. Feel weirdly protective of someone I never met, and people who are fictional characters. It’s hard to fathom she is only 28. So glad I found her work.

Kelly Semon

I’m never this early to updates but I must wait to read it because I need to get SOME sleep before work tomorrow. 😓😓 So happy you’re back from your time away Jaysea, I hope you are feeling well and know you are supported always in doing what’s best for you! Looking forward to reading this new addition tomorrow!

PunisherLuv

This was a great chapter! Your skill at creating cliffhangers is level 9 demonic in its own right. you dangle that carrot just close enough to get a nibble then yank it away.

Pears

Love it! Thank you!❤️♥️

BaconVader

Just read it. Beautiful and well-written. Hope the rest brought you peace, rest, and “emotional decompression”. Welcome back.

Sarah Jorgenson

I'm not crying your crying (I'm lying I am absolutely cryingy eyes out right now.) Welcome back and thank you So So much for this. Thank You.

Amanda W

Just read it sitting in my car before driving home! O...M....G... Will be rereading the last five chapters and this one when I get home...very intense cliffhanger!

Kori

Gah! So many questions!!!

Nicola Allison

Loved it! Glad to see you back and hope the break did you a world of good! I knew something was being foreshadowed by ‘Get to hell and go deep’ but I couldn’t have guessed this! Curious to see how Lily’s relationship with God evolves from here to ‘I call him Sky Daddy’ because there was always a lot to unpack there! One tiny continuity thing (and it might just be that I missed something between the two chapters!) I thought the first monster ran off to battle and only the second died?

Lui T.

Amazing, thank you so much! I hope you are rested and had time to process everything. I missed your writing and I had a big shift in live and this chapter came at the right time.

Veronica Gordon

I love your interpretation of Sky Daddy and I do believe those are his thoughts exactly! Another amazing chapter but god I hope Bel’s ok

ScaryMamaBear

Oh Carlton! Lol. Curious what the wad of fabric is but no have a couple guesses. Lily’s entire interaction with God is so cathartic; her anger, her sadness then his sincere regret, frustration and apology. If there is truly a God I hope he/they see what is being done in their name and have it addressed accordingly in the hereafter.

Tina

Emotional whiplash at its finest. Well done

Anna c

So fucking good, thanks again for your efforts and sharing your talent with us. Thinking about God as having limited capabilities but still a sense of duty and regret, someone maybe to be pitied, is… something I want to ponder on more. The only editing note I have (and sorry if it’s been said before, I didn’t read all the comments this time) is in the line where Lily is telling Sharkie if she knows how Bel is; I would change “she managed to say them” to “she managed to say the words” but it’s just a preference that I think will make reading easier.

Ann Sullivan

Yup, bawling as I get dressed this morning. My hubby has always said "God is just a kid with an ant farm."

Caitlin P

Welcome back! Hopefully all the heavy life stuff left you some room to rest and recharge a bit, still. It’s like the universe knows when we have “free time” to throw stuff at us sometimes, huh? Thank you for recognizing that you needed a little extra time to do this chapter justice and not rushing it. It was beautifully written and (as others have said already) the conversation with God echoes my own feelings and experiences and you’ve given me almost a sense of closure with the words you shared. So again, thank you. A few editing notes: - page one, towards the end of the description of God, he should be “shit out OF luck” - page two, the second big paragraph, “people who claim to followed you, who have CAUSED untold harm” - page three, towards the middle of God’s description of the church, I might be wrong but think it should be “the church, …., HAS turned into” not have, because you are talking about the singular entity of the Christian church - page three again, the split paragraph at the very beginning of God’s apology after “And for that,” is a bit awkward. Maybe pull just those three words out of there and put them at the beginning of his longer apology? I don’t know, might have better flow. - page four, “Lily shook OFF the impulse” - page six, “I don’t care if HE’S in pieces”, just the first part - I think others have mentioned this already, but on page nine when Lily tells Sharkie, “I don’t know”, it would read better afterwards as, “she managed to say THE WORDS calmly” - also page nine, “and she was going to handle this, dammit” just missed that comma at the end - page ten, about the pair of books, “One was FROM A sci-fi” Thanks again for this whole world you’ve created, it’s amazing!

Samantha Johnson

So many emotions, I'm still sorting them all out. But it was good. I too am just a bit curious about the other creature but hoping you'll answer later cannot wait for the next chapter the cliffhanger has been agonizing.

Daysi

So happy to have you back. Hope that you are recharged apart from the heavy stuff!! Missed the series and watching you on tik tok saying that you are coming back I could have cried! I am only in tik tok to watch Hells Belles! Anyways love this chapter it mirrored a few feelings that I have about God too! So beautiful written can’t wait for the next episode!! ♥️♥️

Eldritch_Spook

Welcome back and I hope your emotional turmoil heals and settles. You did fantastic with this one. I personally snorted at human shaped lightbulb no wonder he was so easily picked out during the wedding tournament.

Joedraj22

It's good to have you back! I hope you enjoyed your vacation. I guess I have to binge-read the book again while this hurricane passes. Take care!

Van Brewer

I’ve said it before, and many people here say it better, but you’re a excellent storyteller and writer, whose creativity is just off the charts. But several sections here really bump up into the epic category. So much of our theology is an abstraction of ideas, just to enable it to be expressed, which invariably means it’s internally inconsistent. Hell doesn’t make sense if the only thing it does is punish forever; you fix that by making it a place of justice, and a part of an eternal journey. The inconsistencies of God (or G-d out of respect for some) being everything all at once have been felt throughout history by untold numbers of people. You handled that exceptionally well - I also see that reflected in several of the comments here. Your abilities for long term plotting are well established, so I’m interested to see how Lily evolves within the afterlife. We are getting hints that she’s more than a soul already - I am inferring that as her becoming a part of the afterlife, not just a resident. Pardon the speculation 😊 The conversation with Carlton really made an impact. Carltons words found a new way to spell family - and such a wise house, to send its charges off fully armed and with a change of underwear. I’ve said it so often that it trivializes the phrase, but your chapters truly do just keep getting better and better. Again - thank you for sharing your creations.

Alora Paxton

So good!!! I love this story!

Devilcat

Very, very worthy. I know the Bel part is the more emotional part. But goddamn did I need to read the apology from god.

Claire Moores

I’m commenting on your note, before reading the story. First, I’m glad for you that you got time to get away, and take some time for yourself even if it wasn’t exactly relaxing. Second, from my experience, when things that once came easily -or at least felt like that flowed a stop working, it’s often a sign that you’re just about to make a breakthrough or advance somehow. So trust that it’ll work out. And now to read the story

KatyaDresden

You know, reading these chapters I forget that I watch tiktok and I get very worried. The way you write is so emotionally charged that nothing exists beside what's going on. I think this chapter was wonderful and worth the wait.

Van Brewer

I wondered if the "clang of metal" and "eerie, gurgling sound" was the other creature's demise.

Judy Sullivan

I needed that interaction with god. I’d like to think he isn’t pleased by what has been made of the church, but it’s hard to see at times. Thank you for that. Love the sass and “commentary “ from Carl. A thoroughly amazing chapter, which is great, but has me in fear of the next even though I know how things turn out later! A couple minor editing pieces: Page 2: caused untold harm Page 3: like all dieties’ Page 6: I don’t care if he’s Page 10: at peace again.” A sci-fi

JustSurvibing

I'm happy Lily got to confront God in the way she did. I feel like as a person with religous trauma it was very cathartic how she confronted him and the way he responded. Expertly handled with both care and nuisance. 🖤🖤🖤 (Also YAY for Luci coming back next chapter! His character is so complex and tbh my favorite in this story. Dont get me wrong love our MC babies but as a neurospicy I latch onto a side character and dont let go sometimes lol. Anyways happy to get more interactions of him with others to see him more fleshed out.)

Brittany Hall

Ok I have been waiting on this chapter since you posted last (I have checked every hour since then). It definitely did not disappoint. I love this story so much and hate the fact that I’m caught up on everything. I’m so excited to read the next chapter also can’t wait till we find out how they learned she could stay in the afterlife and have kids.

Anjuli

I’m really happy the way you handled God. It was perfect. As someone with religious trauma if was healing. Knowing from the series Bel survives is good because waiting to know what happens to Bel is torture. I’m glad you were able to take some personal time and work through things that needed to be worked through. However I’m glad your back!

Mandy Karlin

Oh my gosh!!! So good!!! I am so invested 🥰🥰🥰

Ashley Poindexter

I’m so damn ready for the next chapter. This one was perfect. I love how Lily handled that discussion with God. But I NEED TO KNOW WHST THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO BEL

Maryann

Wonderfully written. I don’t even know what else to say, I love your writing and creativity and the worlds you create. You are one of my favorite authors. I’m glad you were able to take a break and glad to have you back. Your writing is definitely an important part of you, but it’s not all that you are. I’m glad you take time to take care of yourself. I once saw the phrase “doing therapy through writing [books]” and it seemed to me that it was a good fit for the books in question and it was equally true that readers can likewise experience “therapy” through reading. Not a substitute for the real thing, of course. Definitely can be helpful though. I look forward to the day I can have a printed (and published) copy of your work on my shelf to hold in my hands and read again and again. 😁

RubyRedDemise

Incredible chapter. Utterly incredible

Michael Hennessy

So many great one liners in this chapter! Welcome back. I hope your time away was restorative and fun.

Scarlett_loves_Loki

I really enjoyed this. The convo with God was handled really well. Love that Lily spoke her truth and it was good to see it received and to hear an apology - even if this is just fiction. Also, I love that Lily is really taking her place in the afterlife. Having her kill the monster as she entered Heaven was inspired and gave me a warrior princess vibe. I'm curious to see what caused her bad vibe and I can't wait for a Bel update.

Jen

Thank you for sharing your writing genius. I love the world you’re creating and I feel so invested in the entire works. That to me shows how talented you are. So, thank you :) xo

Audrey

I am so happy you’re back ! Hope you managed to have a great time through the less easy stuff. This chapter is amazing, the depiction of god both physically and as a person (for lack of better word) feels authentic, it make sense and I really like that !

Sarah Cox

That convo with god. Thanks. That was really healing for me to read. You are awesome

Rebecca Draggoo

This chapter was sooo worth the wait! It was well done. Thank you for all the healing you provide for a person with a lot of religious trauma.

Rachel Davis

This was so GOOOOOD. I want to have the exact same conversation with God

Karen Wright

What a wonderful chapter. Welcome back!

Anthony Hobson

Absolutely wonderful chapter! It’s good to see you back and I’m glad you took the time you needed for yourself!

David Morris

Even as a practicing United Methodist Preacher, I found the conversation with God to be very well handled and within the realm of my own personal theology. It also reinforces my own personal struggles with deconstructing my own evangelical history. Thank you. Well done.

William Lynds

"Only one way to find out." That line does more to describe Lily than the entire book so far. The "I'm gonna do what I need to do and dare I dare you to try and stop me" attitude.

David Morris

I find it helpful for me to realize that the "religion" people have received and lost is a human construct -- limited and flawed by human transmission and construction. I like what Jaysea said that the God she experienced did not match the God she was told about. For me, my experience of God is different than the one I was told about.

Tyler Davie

All it took was a single "Mom!" for you to break my wife and I. How dare. Please continue.

Shannon Gissel

I would say that your break did you some good, this chapter is freaking amazing, I cannot wait until the next one. I also want to have that conversation with God. Keep up the good work.

Abigail Seaney

When I tell people a book is good, I base my review on how much of a page turner it is. When I hit the end of your chapters I get angry cause I want more. I absolutely love it, and can not put it down. I check everyday for updates and tell anyone I think may be interested about it. I'm so glad you were able to get some rest but really glad your back. Keep it up Girl I'll be here eagerly waiting on the next chapter.

Kat Brown aka MamaKat

Well done! And only one error!! Which kicks. My grandfather used to say that when you don’t feel faith to look within your heart. From everything he taught me I envisioned God as the overconsciousness of the Universe. You can be aware of a nerve ending misbehaving in your body and not be able to change it.

Van Brewer

Follow up comment: “The weight of who she had been and who she was becoming seemed to hang in the balance before tipping…” is one of your best sentences. It even gets marks for legitimate use of ellipses, which I use illegitimately all the time. Kudos, Bard of the Beyond!!

Erica Rodriguez

So worth the wait! Glad to have you back!

Leslie Hoggan

Once again you have left with tears in my eyes and an understanding that I'm not the only one who wants to scream at God WHY?

lightningfury

Amazing. Absolutely AMAZING. worth the wait. Thank you.

Alexis Crespo

I'm so scared to find out what happens to Bel. I know he survives but man.... can't wait for the next chapter. So glad you are back

Jessica Taylor

I have read and reread every chapter three or four times! 😭 it never gets old! I literally couldn’t “critique” it if I tried! It’s perfect! Can’t wait for more!! And can’t wait to have the physical copy to read with a cup of coffee! It would be the BEST Christmas gift!!

Elizabeth

Hell hath no fury than momma bear and I think lily is getting or has got to her breaking point. Love the eluding to her becoming more than mortal in the intone ness of lily

KK

The way u handled God was just perfect u did it in a way that didn't insult any beliefs but also made him so much more understandable i have to say u are truly a master and as for bel I am going crazy to see if he is okay like I know he is but how okay I just can't get enough of ur wonderful universe and ur masterful writing abilities

Hannah Gibson

You so naturally bring me to tears and into the story and every experience Lily has! I love it so much!

Chef Jeff

It's break time wonderful love the the tail plus insight into Greg (Kat) is going to lose it a little. Thank you so much I needed this being so far from familiar surroundings.

Marloes

What a way to return!!! I'm glad you enjoyed your well deserved time off and came back with such a gut punching chapter. In a good way!

Amber D. Baker

Wooo. 😮‍💨 The apology from God instantly brought me to tears. All the trauma and bullshit, I needed that too.

Kat

The interaction with God and Lily was chef's kiss. So well done. This whole chapter was so well done!