Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

Whose got BARS? (Rating Fan Submitted Bars) (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-22 16:51:34
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hello, good patrons of the Hivemind Community, I am once again asking for your best and hardest bars.So please put forth the best string of rhymes that you can combobulate and submit below!—Cronk

Comments

Ezra

I keep the peace while moving drugs like a pharmacist, plus I’m clean with the hammer- you can call that an armistice

Sam Denison

killed the opp, rolled him in the wood, pussy smoked, now he coffin

Patrick Jones

we goin full speed a-ted and we on cruz control

Tellu

Cronk this is not how you post, i thought you guys uploaded a new video you didn’t upload last week. You are on thin ice cronk

lexieee

doing magic tricks in the casino, call me jacky potter

Will

Call me watch mojo the way I’m getting top from theses 10’s

Jake

Get more head than a guillotine do, like Marie Antoinette she got cake and let me eat it too

Eli Shmeeli

Bitches call me corny, I'm the cream of the crop

Max Keenan

i menopaused my game to be here

Patrick Jones

call me hillary the way im tryna find the clint, at first vance i thought she was holdin J’s D

Sebastian Gundersen

Grungefuckers at fuddruckers, you're telling me these lunchsuckers dont know suckpunchers?

quique

WHOSE🤣🤣🤣🫵🏼🫵🏼

Tiago Rocha

Fuck the try guys, I might try guys, whole game a bit lost we need more Bis

Jamil

Gas it up floor it I don’t want a baby imma break a fucking storks shin. 20 with no job I think you need a damn abortion.

Burkley Page

Bitch in Cartier look like cardi b smoke on opium so I know what carti see

Isaac

feel like bill withers how i always got this lean on me

Kyle Cahill

Bars so hot I could burn a forest down Feeling like a million bucks

Brayden Quinn

white boy of the year call me josh allen bitch im the mvp. just hope my hailee steinfield aint a vampire takin bbc

Hunter Busselberg

She slurp it up like a can of La Croix Call my bitch Drake cause I’m Certified she love her boy (Lover Boy)

Maddy D

She was bouncing on my shit like the Pixar lamp, then she slobbered on my noodle like the lady and the tramp.

Brayden Quinn

the way i get my money feel like hivemind i got so many channels. so happy i feel like a blonde woman with a side part wearing a flannel (gay)

Andres Molina

I call my dick Riley, the way that John is Savage

Bryce

phoning it in for the holdings he might catch a body instead of the rye now.

Maxwell Gray

My opps sketched out, I draw blood like red crayons No trace left for their family, gon’ need a seance

Swampp

I caught shawty stuffing her bra with an ounce, that’s a drug bust

William

Went to Thailand to Bang cock i need a translator (ps i love ladyboys❤️)

Flora

I'm a nictator, call me Zyn Jong Un

Asa Seifert

Catch me trading spices in the Indian Ocean, your girl wants me cause i have terrific motion. bragadacious boastin while the tikka is toastin, might go buy the Taj Mahal the way this naan keeps flowin.

Donovan Wilson

she inglorious the way she suck my toes like tarantino

wednesday

ur girl's real into all my antiques, i guess she wanna goblet (gobble it) i'm throwing hundreds at the club bc i wanna see her wobble it

Brayden Quinn

running up these bands caught a flight to peru, might make a fake trend to end up on fox news.

Colton Wulff

She playing on the other team but I’ll make her swing both ways

Tyson Waters

Got my hair done now I suck at robbing banks, I dreadlocks.

LucaCCB

Caused too much ruckus at a Vietnamese spot, not only did they kick me out but they also Banh Mi

wednesday

sucking a D, smoking a J, you can just call me grant when i get riled up, i'm a savage, bitch believe that i aint judge women, i aint grade one, ill make you weave her, she whoopi my goldmember

wednesday

bitch im major, watch my motion, take a picture for the history books

wednesday

you sayin u hate me cuz im egotistical got ur bitch suckin me, sayin 'ere u go, testicles

Flora

Bought massive penis necklace when the Vice article paid me Wrote some presidential shit and then I bought a Dick Cheney

Brayden Quinn

getting diggy with it how im digging in my butt, said i was gonna wipe but i like to let it crust.

BIG DUNK

they call me the goat cuz im in the Lamb with a Billy

Flora

I make you go wild when I'm bumping out your speaker When you turn it down is when you finally hear the speaker I'm talking to chu like pika, Make hard shit to swallow easy like pika

Jack Darling

i attempted an onomatopoeia, i triumphed

ian

Off the drugs but I gotta revise my essay, ibuprofen

jordan

coughing from a cold not from poppin’ smoke, i always benadryl type of folk.

Brad Lamb

curled up with a good book but i ain’t religious, call me michael scott cause im just a little stitious

charlie

two truths and a lie, im gay, im gay im gay

Reb Aclan

Bars Bars all I got are bars Hersheys, Twix, and even a Mars I got Soap, Granola, Protein keeps me Alive Cocktail, Pubs, and of course a Dive Showers, Pull Ups, and the Exam It’s my superpower, they call me Barman.

Tyler

out with my boys, call it fraternity leave

BIG DUNK

shit I just realized lamb is a sheep... KEEPING THE BAR WHO CARES

Maxwell Gray

Yall playing checkers, me im more queens gambit. Like Travis, I put in her tight end, get on ya Taylor, joy (Anya-Taylor Joy)

Nikolai Hernandez

Got her pregnant call me Savage the way I’m bout to leave her Baby mom call me Graydon the way I weave her

ian coulter green

“I fucked you and your twin, call that a W” (double you)

Titan Edwards

fuck with sally and you’re gonna see shells

NinjaPablo _

I give it to her quick, I go lightning on ma queen/ My radiator springs, when she's ka-chowing on my peen

Isaac

i get my style from my dad, these inherited jeans

Lennon Riley

dick game like Quagmire, never use a condom fuck her til she can't walk, call her Joe Swanson

NinjaPablo _

She keeping me guessing, she riddlin/ That brain is relentless, need Ritalin

Harland Norcott

Up there with the greats, man, I'm right next to Coolio The gang all pieces of the puzzle like its Yu-gi-oh

James Zimmerman

2 door pulled by 5 horses multiplied by 100 like the price of white forces

NinjaPablo _

Me n twin whippin foreign, like we livin in sweat shops/ Got all these nineties bitches fawnin, call me Littlest Pet Shops

Maxwell Gray

I move whites like slam poetry

NinjaPablo _

It's stupid how I move these units, I call my business imperial/ Glock like box tops, I'm taking off the serial

Thomas

Sold my eighths too fast, now I’ve got to write it in my eighth’s notes Sold my eighths to slow, now I can only use them eighth notes

ella

i been eating out my postman, had my tongue in his male box

James Glancy

Pull up like a wizard of Waverley place the way I get to waving the the stick in your face

NinjaPablo _

I'm a fucking sadist, I bust each time that I shoot ya/ It's making my dick stiffer, like Richard seeing Medusa

Dana 🍓

I call that man Abraham bc we’re always linkin, (Lincoln) But sometimes call him Curb, I only hit it when Im drinkin’

Aidan W

Just like god I built this brick in ten days, crack it open ship it out money coming ten ways🤑

daniel white

Back on my dark shit like Michael Jackson in a Time Machine, Kalishnakov in my backpack turning brains to Russian cream.

Aidan W

Pushing muddy purp like I'm deporting Barney, green Grinch sweater on and it's from Marni

Hudson

I’m a moron off that oxy, call me a literary device

Maxwell Gray

I’m the meanest rapper of all time, I’m the hyper bully (hyperbole)

James Glancy

On my block I can move rocks like sisyphus.riding in a whip so big call it a silly bus if I jump out leave You drinking out of sippy cups

charlie

her hands stay glued to me like elmer’s, shawty doin morse code on the dick like hellen keller, she got special needs, im the one that’s gon’ be first in line to help her

Colton Wheatley

Greened out at the gym, call me Muscle Man

Isaac

call me the supreme court in September of 2020 cause i’m Ruthless

Isaac

call me square root of a negative number the way i

Nico Ferreira

Flowing margarine yall really can't believe it's not thugger, He past his prime im on the verge hitting mine in a couple, Still Next to yall I'm fully grown make it look like ya stubble, but it's okay yall Trae young it makes sense when you fumble

Colton Wheatley

Cookin bbq in O block, call me chief beef

charlie

call me drake with the snake, i’m not a big fan of mustard, told him drop and give me 50, it took all the strength he mustered. goin back to my old ways we in marvin’s room, but i ain’t no marvin gaye, im out here starvin dudes

Timothy Zabinski

Mooved fast to bag that 🐱, call it a leather clutch

Vace Diesel

"I'm kinda chili, I ain't talking soup. I mean that ice that makes you cream, and I ain't talking scoop" Idk it just came into my head yesterday and won't go away 💀

Gnoop

On the Faroe Islands, slippin' on psilocybin Never trip 'cause I'm the pilot of my temple, Scott Weiland

Jasper Eaton

Pour that wok in my smoothie, fuck your girl shes a doozie, i go to bed with pink mouth tape you could call me lil snoozie (vert)

drew

frat guy lied about his dick size, call that greek mythology

dingers

Got an Italian girl off the bubbly, she gave me cavatappi

drew

my moves so popular, got that al gore rhythm

drew

call me a politician the way i get these checks and balances

Isaac

get mad pussy like garfield on a monday

Isaac

i be swimming in bread like if michael phelps parents were related

Maxwell Gray

Pockets so heavy, Benjamins falling out my khakis Last girl was a gold digger, had to vanish her (vanisher), Lasky

Halvard

Putting squares in their place like Rubiks. Call me Jenga the way i move bricks.

Dana 🍓

Your homie wants the cookie? Better take his ass to Crumbl. He’ll think I go by “Kendrick” cuz I stay keeping him HUMBLE.

Jayke

They said you want toast or slaw? I laughed through the static of my cracked jaw Keep the slaw, I muttered voice brittle like the bills I once clutched. Bread. Not the golden crusted kind But the kind that slips through fingers oily and ghostlike Spent before it’s counted. Now every Cane’s run feels like a confession Swapping cabbage for hope mayonnaise for a dollar’s depression That greasy toast ain’t comfort it’s a bandage on a busted transmission I sit in the lot sauce stained shame wallet hollow, echoing my name Still hungry But not for chicken For change - Waylon

Kasen Hicks

Gettin bread in France and Greece. So many gyros (Euros), my heat rising like yeast

Kasen Hicks

Can’t wait for Riley to make this better

Justin Dobry

My girl thinks she can jump in the ring cause she watched all the Rocky movies. Some say she’s inexperienced, but I say let ‘er box

Colton Wheatley

It's pretty gay that all the appliances use Bluetooth now. My dryer's sending signals out the closet. That LG's on that BT

Isaac

foreign relations the way my piece talks

Timothy Zabinski

When i fell i realized i broke the floor, it was that assfault(asphalt)

Isaac

getting silly bands like The Wiggles

Ben Toy

Imma white boy with godly style that’s Allah mode

Brayden M:)

They should give me the Doak Walker award the way these hoes keep Runningback to me

Brayden M:)

Catch me in the flames I’ve been heating up all day, stuck in this inferno straight cooking Al Dante

Connor Mudge

This rocket in my pocket got me 16 gs Bought a ring for every finger plus one think im henri

eric gracey

doubted that viagra but now im a firm believer

Brayden M:)

I’m sick of all these British girls i think i got the bird flu

eric gracey

swag sick asf my drip post-nasal

Scott S.

Nose-ing bouquets of Lillies and Roses For any rat that comes to the ocean count or lock the shit you’ve stolen

Aidon Perlinger

Booted from the hockey team for sipping lean, flight out of Toronto pouring maple as I leave

Luvi

I’ll always resist arrest, they’ll never catch the kid napping

Josh

that brain got me seeing visions, call her my oral-cle

Josh

They call me Percules the way I pop shit

Lino Hoffmann

Show up to your life with a gun call me Ja Morant

Josh

I'm straight edge, but I goon like I'm gay JK, I'm smoking kush every day I call my plug Voldemort, cause I won't say his name Ballin' like I'm Magic, I got JK rolling in her grave

Hayden Pratt

Unmoored, untethered, your behavior is a yanker I’m solid, I’m steady, I’m foreboding as an anchor

Josh

billy woods ass lyrics

Flip Kringle

No days off, could never be idle. She wanna fuck on the weekend, bitch I’m not able (but say able all Memphis so it rhymes)

Connor Ferguson

Never learned to hold in my cum, I need an edge-ucation

Ethan Nunnally

Got my two eyes, after that W, like Nintendo Wii

Ethan Nunnally

My girl looked at my medical records but got mad when I looked at hers, she’s so HIPAA critical

Ethan Nunnally

Selling the bright blue that make you die inside, call it cyan-nide

Ethan Nunnally

Spent so much time in the pen, this jailin’ hurts so much I might get a ring

Pat

Chain smoking with the flinstones we just made it through a cartoon

Jude Peel

I pray to god you choke and no one knows the heimlich maneuver; i’ll leave 95 shots at your door like theses from Martin Luger.

Joe C

Got a white plug named Kirk sellin herb down the street

Ethan Nunnally

Moving rock up the hill like Sisyphus, sold to a twink’s hand that’s a sissy fist

Justin Long

Bank accounts looking juiced, flying high like home runs, I’m killing these investments the way I Barry these Bonds

James Glancy

Im barred up like a alcoholics view from Hell

Lujain

Call me clairo the way im getting bags

Trevor

Hitting it from the back in a theater. Me and babe Lincoln

May the Magikarp

Call me Captain Edward Mushroom the way I port a Bella

Dakota Vaughn

i’m courtin’ bitches nightly, always tallying these hoes. giving them D, that’s a W, like king arthur when i’m takin off their clothes. opposites attract, i’m putting my sword in their stones

Clayton Hults

Got back from the Amazon with the desire to have an orgy with nine other dudes, call that ten-gay fever

Michael

They’d think i was trans the way i make these whores moan as a replacement for therapy

Michael

This is awesome

mxrtyn

shorty got airline miles on her face card she slide down my 9/11 jeans got me rock hard

Payton Cole

me and the mango we danced the tango we danced so well it was art like van gogh then we went and bought a ticket off of fantango me and the mango we don’t know where the time goes we just sit down and eat some oreos some cheerios we think we’re going delirio ‘cause I need to call my tias and tios

platypy

Bro said I looked like a 🦬 (bison emoji) I’m like: please enlighten me, homie “Ur awkward like Bingus, ur brain looks like gum” Call me Charlie Mingus the way I: ahh… umm…

Kollin

took my side piece to see Hamilton in Norway, lucky me they don’t have cameras at that Cold Play

AK

hold a razor to his throat, make him see occam im a pacer on the court like im siakam

Brayden Quinn

feel like adam sandler im clickin the bean

Brayden Quinn

suburban white kid tryna act hard again, shooting 54 from tre ball chet holmgren.

Brayden Quinn

feel like riley the way im allergic to you hoes, throwin touchdowns no patty mahomes, in florida with the dolphins no dan morino, in miami saying i swear man i just saw freebo (dexter reference)

Chris Parmigiani

she wanna fuck i said okie dokie get her in the room and we hit the hokey pokey nah fr she really turn herself around put my left foot in take my left foot out

Tim Tam

Smudging that herb, drinking Malort by the handle, this spirit make me wanna blow my brains out like a candle

Axel Johnsson

That’s odee dawg, is that regular tre balls or hang pulls?

Wyatt R

taking shots in the dark, we playing laser tag ima blow up, act a loner like i’m RiFF RaFF callin me an ATM the way i get cash i don’t think i got the meat, for that big ass

Erica Smoot

coldplay kiss cam dodgers fans ate astro duo out on a double play date

Erica Smoot

face down turn around drop it drop it low cant spell choreo without HR & CEO

Sabrina

Like Colbert, I'm cancelled As farewell, both should pray a Hail Mary I might break the president's skull During a Texas parade, sunglasses on It might be his very end, no shade *Legally and literally, this is a joke

Felix Sandford

sipping so much mud that i got it on my day planner, i call that the wock agenda

Dana 🍓

Call her Michael Phelps, she keep it shaven, like a diver. Using toys and new positions, she’s resourceful like MacGyver.

Dana 🍓

After we fuck, she slap my hand, high-five, I’m buying weed off Fiverr

George Brown

My girl a comedian cause when I hit it she give me that funny bone

nate tha gawd

double cup in my pockets I'm wearing some purple jeans, brown stuff running down my leg now these poopoo jeans

Grace Howell

These hors bend’œuvre their tail for my shrimp cock

Sio Parker

Her titties flatter than Neil Degrasse Tyson beef Bombs Over Bag that bitch and out cast her man, make her catfish queef

noah Davis

drugs got me going stupid, call me an oxymoron

noah Davis

9 shooters in the whip, creep down your chimney like im saint nick rudolph ready to sleigh you when he pull up with that red tip came out with my bag full, told blitzen to step on the gas if you come outside we turn you to the ghost of christmas past

Aditi Goyal

just like my wheels, my record's multichrome they both be spinning, but I don't wrap

Louis Bordallo

Blow on it, spit on it, make it harden Put it in, take it out, like it's a Nintendo Cartridge

Ryan Beaupre

I’m a sex addict, call me a habitual bitch getter

calmye

I told dat boi he need to leave that date, "You know you need to cycle em, before it's too late."

waflewaflepancke

Cant get blood on my hands. Nobody dies on my watch.

waflewaflepancke

Cant be sad and rich, no wonder you mad poor.

waflewaflepancke

I switching gears and dating a femboy. This is my transmission.

waflewaflepancke

Prostitute on sale? Thats some bang for your buck.

Evie Lucas

I'm like an Italian American poet with a toothache eating alphabet soup I chews my words carefully

Evie Lucas

two birds with one stone, that's pop-thud-thud to the ground like pterodactyl (terra dactyl)

robert f

Bringing bad rappers to the joint, I’m going to Rolling Diesel. Ask what house I’m in? It’s JK Rowling in diesel.

aaron judge

My girl fine. Niche interests and a grand slam ass. I got nine home runs in my last nine at bats. I show her that, she stunned by the stat. Nonverbal, shawty awe 'tistic. - Aaron Judge, #99 New York Yankees

sam mckeever

he like my old bra unsupportive as fuck i don’t like the guy he’s a dumb shmuck

Austin Raymond

I’m a non believer who forever cheats on my baby momma I’m indefinitely the Infidel with the tea

Jkrol

Call me Frank Ocean the way she get wet off this glizzy

OlDirtyDoggy

I got a real vicious man man he over there walking around, he a real Street boy, make me fuck on a bitch

El Goody

fucked 30 girls now I Assume they’re normal and find the CLT

El Goody

The power of having ADHD and OCD call that AC/DC

El Goody

Fucked a witch who gave me hogwarts, I’ll do it again cuz that oinkment worked magic

Natalio Rojas

I'm seeing poetry in motion watching Shakespeare running slants

Evster Gaming

She moved on quick just through an app, and now she swipin on her phone just like she cuttin fruit in half

linkin

We emerge at the emerge-ncy

jordan

heat

Ronan

I get hard from flipping packs i get bricked from my bricks

NinjaPablo _

Concealed carry drag queen named Big Tucker

Quentin Bunty

Wrote the Ultimate song about being Locked Up. Shit was so sick that I ended up in the Denzel Ward

NinjaPablo _

A Tyler 69: She’s gobblin, while I yonk ‘er

$CHMUCKER

Getting canceled again, where’s your PR manager? I’m the Apex, no Colleen Ballinger.

$CHMUCKER

This one right here is my favorite

Ronan

Always known to thug I keep that gat on me, they call me the stud I keep that strap on me

tap

I'm a purebred like I'm the world champ, This dog'll split your noodle like lady and the tramp

Dylan

Hemmorhoids. Shit hurts

JustOnePerson

got an std from a croc, call that gator aids

zacvh

She b-jorking it till i post an army of me

bigboypants

my money is digital and non fiction call it Instagram reel

charlie

eatin skittles with applejack the way she see rainbows when i make that ass clap

charlie

got that extendo clip on me like a uncut foreskin

robert f

I might have a crush on D. B. Cooper the way I fucking love Mid-Air Thief

Kayla

Got my bitch up in a Cadillac, her old fling had a poniac, rolling like a G6

David Acocella

Her waist on Skinnylicious but that booty thick like cheesecake

Jack Plowman

I drive my GT through the A, now that’s a real vice city

Quinn Dunham

she said she prefer me over silicone, i believe her the way she bouncin on my silly cone

Ronan

Like Hivemind I keep the big one and a savage on me

Chade

He tough online, when he writin and bitchin Fuck paragraphs, leave that boy's skull indented Fuck Twitter fingers, take off that appendage You know social media destroys your self image

Emalib

“This Trader fucking Joes, it trader fucking blows” This one works best directed at a Trader Joe’s employee

Emalib

Allergic to pistachios they make me feel sick Only nuts going in my mouth are the ones on that dick

Emalib

I apologize for this one 😔

Emalib

My love for you’s authentic No it’s not some kinda con We’ll have a daughter call her Stacey cause I’ve got it going on

Emalib

Feels like we’re kissing in Sephora man the way our lips stick

Jordan Kay

Pushing laced drugs to rich kids just for the joy, all i do is giggle when my pills bury a dough boy

Jordan Kay

Now im all home grown, no longer pacific stoned, i been working out my body of work is specifically toned

Jordan Kay

I be lion when i say i cant pay for the date, im surrounded by blue bands like i play for penn state

Jordan Kay

Homie wants to keep making light jabs, we aint fencin, fuck that i pull up with the tech, freddie benson

Vic !

I can’t talk to dickheads . I don’t fuck with Richard Craniums

Vic !

You Know I put the tip in I only quarter pounder

Vic !

Fill in the toms I feel like Phil Collins

Abraham

they ask me why the long face? i’m an emo G

Brayden M:)

Keep my big Richard in the Calvin’s due to Pryor engagements

TumatoDude

Try to pull a fast one on me i pull faster, you not doctor evil you not even fat bastard

TumatoDude

you brought a knife to a gunfight i just brought a blow dart, hit you with it twice and you drop like an old fart

Kyle Cahill

Pussy smell like a bum But her cats got my tongue Then I fucked her gut up now she’s needing some Tums

NinjaPablo _

Wrist so cold my watch needs a coozie/ Only 20 more minutes before I prime this uzi

Jake H

the most obvious solution is good drank so i sip on wockham's razor

Tucker Schooley

Drunk drivin bumpin bob, yes officer I’m free wheelin it.

Emma V

You know my shit is electric Like Dr. Buzz in the sheets I’m gonna make your knees buckle when I berry it deep

bea

fuck five-oh they gonna get cent to heaven you know ja rule (the rule) we only fuck with eleven

Isaiah Ojeda

Got head at a funeral call that top of the mourning

Swampp

Sold so much rock they say I Emma Stone

NinjaPablo _

My cheddar long, call that dick cheese

Nigel

Unlike you rats I made it out the trap with the cheese

3ak47s

Selling 30s out the trunk call me lil pharma, I’m a tutor with the perc I’m the Dalai Lama.

3ak47s

Brendon urie pressed me at a party, that’s fight or flight at the function. Just cause we disagreed about a couple in junction.

DIPDOP

Catch me selling shirts around the block, I’m tryna push a tee

shayno

I got that semi tucked like I’m trans

Ben Browning

If there’s beef I’ll put up 81. Squeeze you til you bleed, I’m rare, I ain’t filet mignon

Ronan

Handin out dog food to strays like I’m pet smart, just ripped a hole in my jeans with a wet fart

Samuel

I call her george cause she got a W bush