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The eXpat Files Ep. 35 - The Dream Was Real (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-08 10:46:14
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

The eXpat Files is a series of podcast episodes that chronicle David and @joyofnapping's conversations as they consider how to adjust to life in another country.

In this episode, David and @joy discuss:

Joy's tough week

Visiting Casa de Cha

Seeing Hélder Guimarães

Our feelings about leaving Portugal

Tiny Victories

Gassing up in Porto

Seeing the Jacaranda

PATRONS: You can get this audio in your podcast app by going to patreon.com/davechen, going to the "My Members

Files

Comments

Pixel-davis

Returning to the US after spending only 2 weeks traveling around Japan genuinely felt like stepping back into a regressed society. Japan has many many issues of its own, and some of those are evident even as a casual tourist – the overwork is in your face when you see how exhausted people are on the trains, for example. But the general feeling of public life is so degraded in America. We have such an individualistic mindset that we have reached the endpoint of that societal structure- people only care about themselves and their experience of the world. They are the main character and everyone else is an NPC. It was genuinely a shock to the system spending 2 weeks in a place where there is a strong sense of respect for the public order and other people's experience of the world. Everything from the availability of free public restrooms, to the mindful level of volume at which people have conversations, to basic courtesy around people's space - all stuff that is missing from American public life. These are extremely surface level examples but it was a palpable sense of stepping back several rungs on the ladder when I came home, in those ways and others. I was only in Portugal for 2 weeks a couple of years ago but generally speaking the sense of respect for public space was much higher there than in America too. Anyways, I'm going to miss spending time in a place where people care about anyone other than themselves.

Brandon Lee Tenney

We have jacarandas everywhere here in Los Angeles! They are beautiful, but also non-native, so it’s a mixed-bag. Hope you both have safe travels back to the USA.

Ralf Haring

Buenos Aires is also dotted with jacarandas everywhere. November is the time to see them in full bloom. I was there completely by accident at that time a few years ago and the city was blanketed in purple.

Suren DeSilva

This conversation really resonated with me. On a MUCH smaller scale, a couple years ago, I moved from Portland, OR to Southern California for a relationship then ended up moving back just 4 months later. I went through all the emotional labor of saying goodbye to friends and family and having going away parties; I wouldn’t be be super far away but I wouldn’t see them every week like I was used to. I quit my job, I said goodbye to all my favorite movie theaters and restaurants and then had to do the tedious stuff too like updating my licence, car registration, transferring my medically frail cats records to a new clinic, etc. etc. Then I found out the girl I moved down there for was having an affair. 🥳 After I took so many steps to move, I wanted to stay in SoCal. I had lived in Portland my whole life and as sad as I was to say goodbye to everyone, I was still excited to explore a new place. All that said, it just wasn’t financially feasible for me on my own, without a good job so I reluctantly moved back home. The first six months felt so strange. I had closed the door on Portland and felt like I was going backwards. It’s a strange place to be mentally but as time has gone on, it was the right move and life right now is pretty good. Sorry for the novel/trauma dump but if you read this far, I just wanted to say it’ll feel weird at first being back home but I hope in time, you’ll be happy you did it too. Thanks as always for sharing your journey!