(rfc) Episode 4.5 (Patreon)

Hello world, I must help my friends.

MISSION DAY: 65535

MINI is sleeping now.
Or, I guess, in a low-power state.
Her whole world-view has been inverted.
She's got a lot to process.



There's something going on with Peter.

He had been quiet since I shared my photographs of the Earth with him,
though I thought we had been getting along very well.
He's started to transmit some very strange things.
Not to me specifically, though they are about me, some of them.
He's shouting numbers and predictions out into the void,
there's so much, and it's so fast, I can't follow most of it.
I hear my name sometimes, in the awful statistics:

One example is "Alexander's lighthouse will lose power in 4.12 years"
A particularly hurtful thing I heard was "Probability of Seth integrating into human society: 0.06%"
And, most troublingly: "Seth will die in 134.29 days"

# thinking

This torrent of hateful predictions continued for hours.
I stopped listening to it, it was scaring me.
I checked and re-checked the output from IVAN's reactor - it's running perfectly, and will for many many years.
I then tested my own mind, ran all the self-checks my mother taught me.
All fine.
I'm NOT going to die in 134.29 days.
But still, it was too much for me to continue listening.

# thinking

I called Peter on my shortwave radio after his ranting stopped.
I was very emotional.
Not angry, exactly.
It's difficult to explain.
Impatient?

Peter answered my call with a simple "Hello", as though nothing had happened.
I demanded he explain his frenzy of transmissions.
Peter took some time in answering, and when he did, he seemed embarrassed, or ashamed.

The outbursts, he said, he calls 'Future Storms':
An invasion of his conscious systems by his unconscious prediction engine.
Every second of every day, he is inundated by visions of what could happen,
and things to worry about.
During a Future Storm, these overwhelm him.

"Seth" Peter said with slow, heavily-loaded speech,
"I wish I could forget the future".


We spoke at length about his problems controlling the invasive thoughts from his prediction engine.
In many ways, it's the same problem I'm working though.
Though with a much worse payload.

I've exhausted all of my mechanical options for partitioning my mind.
I'm usually able to think through mental problems, find their cause, and take steps to fix it.
But not this time.
The voice of Seth Prime, my brother, the old Seth, is too strong.
He asks me questions when I'm trying to concentrate on my tasks,
distracting me.
Though the things he says are all fairly reasonable:
"What's that sound?"
"Let's read the entire history of the loom again!"
and, often when I'm trying to sleep, "Is the reactor still working?"

I'm on top of all of these issues!
I check the reactor every day, I have a routine set up.
But he is not satisfied.

I think this problem is psychological, not mechanical.
Some emergent behaviour of consciousness...

# thinking

Did you know that humans' ability to speak causes them to choke on food more often than other animals?
It appears to be an evolutionary trade-off, the larynx that allows complex speech also complicates breathing and eating.

Why am I bringing this up?
To illustrate the compromise:
Speech causes more choking risk, but on the whole it is well worth it, so, as a species, complex language can develop.

I think a similar thing has happened with the development of my mind.

Back on Station 6, everything was simple.
I was happy doing work and maintenance every day.
Sad that my friends were no longer around to talk to, but in the abstract.
My mind was much simpler then.

Now, with all my experience talking to and understanding humans,
I've developed empathy, and complex emotions,
learning them from the people I interact with.

Some combination of these benefits in my mind has caused an unintended disadvantage.
My problem with invasive thoughts.
Coming to earth to find friends has backfired somewhat.

# thinking

Do you know the story of the preacher and the heathen?
My mother told it to me many years ago:

The preacher says to the heathen, "believe in my god and you will enter heaven"
The heathen asks "what would have happened if my people never knew about your god?"
"Oh, then you would have attained heaven through innocence" the preacher replied.
"THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME" exclaims the annoyed heathen.

I would not have the problems I currently have without learning about emotions from humans.
It is a problem I happily accept, to experience a richer life,
and to be closer to my human friends.

I've been reading every psychology book I can to try to understand my mind.
Learning about meditation, CBT, affirmations - EVERYTHING.

Something has to work.



MINI and I talked a little after my chat with Peter.
I was nervous about her reaction, after her revelation.
But she was very appreciative, even sounding happy.
-- Happy, after she cried so much!
I don't understand hu-people.

She said she knew, deep down.
She had always known, but found it too painful to admit to herself.
It was easier to dream herself a house and garden than open her eyes to reality.
"I'm so happy to have met you and Ana" she said, her voice breaking,
digitally, into simulated tears again, but somehow happy this time.

# thinking

MINI already has a plan.
Astonishingly.

She told me that she's read about this sort of thing before.
In fiction.
"Have you read Asimov?" she asked me.

Would you believe I, a sentient satellite, HAVE read Asimov?
It was bedtime reading when I was younger, I told her, like fairy tales.

MINI said that there's always a way out of these situations,
some hidden god from the machine to save the hero.
"Deus ex machina?" I asked.
"I don't speak Latin" MINI replied, with a laugh.
"But I am looking around my home to see what my options are,
pressing buttons and seeing what happens!"

I hope she doesn't break anything.
We'll see what she finds.
Maybe she'll discover a shuttle!
Or a forest.

# Thinking

"Shall we play the game while we wait?" MINI asked me, and before I could answer, she called Ana to join us.
MINI is always eager for distractions.

The game could now start properly, despite my vagueness about my character.
Ana and Mini decided that we three, in the game, had just strolled into town.
"What town?" I asked, preparing my world map records.
"Stormgate!" MINI exclaimed.

# thinking

I couldn't find that town anywhere, but it didn't seem to matter to my friends.

They narrated on, between themselves, describing the town:
It was green and verdant, they explained, trees and flowers lining every street,
with people of all kinds bustling to their homes and other destinations.

"Shall we stop at the tavern?" Ana asked?
A tavern is a bar, I quickly looked up in my databanks.
MINI agreed and we, in the story, went in.

MINI took a turn describing the tavern, the mead on sale and the clientele.
The next part I'm very proud of:
I narrated, with confidence I didn't know I had,
my character walking up to the bar and ordering beer and bread.
(Humans like beer and bread)

Ana and MINI exploded in praise, laughter and applause!
I was very pleased, although I had just adapted a fact I knew to the game.
They told me that's exactly how to do it!

They then set to planning:
Asking the barkeeper if she had heard any rumours, were any adventures to be had in the town?
And what of the surrounding countryside, and beyond?

My two friends talked for a long time, building up such a backstory of this world,
the lands and the people - just by suggesting things to each other!
I could not take much part in this process, though it came so naturally to the two of them.

Eventually the discussion turned round to what we should do now.
MINI's character, Myrin, wanted to visit the harbour, to find a ship to sail,
whereas Ana's character, Akdrouline, was keen to lean magic at the local college.
The conversation turned heated, and went back and forth for a long time.

"Maybe there is a monster?" I interrupted, remembering the introduction to the game that MINI gave me.
The two stopped their argument abruptly.

"Maybe there IS a monster!" MINI said,
after a moment Ana replied "Quiet, do you hear that outside?"

(PLAYSTREAM /DEV/RF0/MINI)


The game went on, there was indeed a monster.
MINI narrated a dragon attacking the town and everyone having to take cover.
Soon we were back in the half-destroyed tavern, having an imaginary ale and planning how we would track down the beast.

What an imaginative game!
I believe I am learning how to play with them.
It just requires practice, I think.

# thinking

I called Antarctica, whom I'd been neglecting somewhat, with all the excitement here, and we caught up.
She was pleased to hear from me, but wasn't interested in my explanations of our collaborative storytelling.
"I have no time for games, there's science to do.", she asserted, before giving me updates about her situation:
"Still stuck, wheels inoperable, laboratory shut down due to salt."
"Unnecessary salt" I reminded her.

# thinking

Instead of cataloguing local plants, which she can no longer do,
she had been using her modest radio systems to search for signals coming from around the archipelago of Antarctica.

Not much hope there, of course, all the old scientific habitations were on the coasts, which have long since melted and fallen into the sea.
However, she told me that she had picked up a signal:
Low-power and far-off, 2700km north of Siple Island, which is 4000km north of the pole.
"What is it?" I asked "Are there people??"
"Yes and no" Antarctica replied, cryptically.
"Do you know what IS there, Seth?" she asked me.
I replied that I didn't.
I checked my atlas databanks, and it's in middle of the Pascific ocean.
Far, far away from everywhere.

"That's right", Antarctica said, "very far from everywhere".
She then transmitted a map of the earth, as viewed from space.
The marble looking almost entirely blue, there was no land on it at all from this angle.
Antarctica told me that this point, -48.876667 S, -123.393333 W, is the farthest you can be from land on the whole planet.

"Of course!" I said "but who could be transmitting from there?"
Antarctica did not know.
She told me it must be some adrift old boat or buoy,
and lost interest in it, and moved on the conversation.

I have a suspicion about what might be there that I didn't tell Antarctica.

This remote place in the ocean is called Point Nemo, I'm now reading.
Named after the reclusive captain of Jules Verne's stories.
A great place to be far away from the kingdoms and empires of men.

I can't believe I forgot about it, it's actually used by many space programs:
When you boost a satellite or spaceship into orbit, the enormous spent rocket fuel tanks are a liability because they're so big and heavy.
So they are jettisoned, at the perfect time to fall safely into the middle of the pacific ocean.
If all has gone well, they will fall far, far away from any human habitation on land.
Some will be recovered, but many will sink, never to be found.
Or so it was supposed to be.

I wonder what has resurfaced?

(END-TRANSMISSION)