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Sketch 14 - She Did It

"I think that went well." "Well being a matter of perspective, I feel like dirt and I want to go home." "Some food would be nice, haven't eaten yet." "That's your fault. Don't wake up late for a job." "You didn't wake me up!" "You wouldn't wake up, no matter how much I hit you." "Ah, that would explain the blood." "I want a bath. a nice warm shower then sleep." "I wish to forgo the shower and go straight to treating myself. Katsu sounds like a mood." "You don't need my permission to be an glutton." "Yah but I also don't wanna cook." "Then eat out! Why is this such a problem?" "I don't wanna be out anymore today. I wish for monch and I feel like watching tv." "For Monch?" "Yah for Monch why?" "Nothing, you don't need my permission to be an idiot either." "Hey no need to be rude. What's got you all crabby?" "I'm filthy, I wreak of sweat and gun powder, slightly bruised, and as a matter of fact also sorta peckish right now." "AHA, SO FOOD?" "Different priorities, I'd rather not get any of this crap on the kitchen counter, let alone the front door." "Well lighten up, we had a nice violent outing, and we're getting paid. It's been a minute and I need a new jacket." "That's your fault, your clothes don't come back like the rest of you. AND YOU JUMPED INTO FIRE." "I thought it'd look cool." "What if you just burned everything off? Big bad freelancer, envy of little girls everywhere, defending the innocent, fighting back against the forces of evil, B U T T N A K E D!" "Idunno my gut said it'd be fine." "Well my gut's been a bit queasy, something's wrong. I think we missed something important." "My gut's also changed it's mind. I want fries. Maybe a milkshake." "We don't have those at home." "Make some for me." "DO IT YOURSELF! Why are you such a child!?" "I don't wanna cook after a job!" (Phone Rings) "Ah, what's good?" ~So the job seems to have gone uh... well it went alright.~ "Yup, files have been retrieved and originals have been destroyed." "Automated drone military force has been dealt with." ~Yah as well as the rest of facility.~ "How do you know about that? I thought you were sleeping in today?" ~It's on the tv. News reports have been going crazy about it.~ "It was a big explosion." "Ah, I feel like we've made an error." "How so?" ~Well Roulette came by and saw what happened, and she doesn't seem pleased about it. I'm learning new words today that I never knew about.~ "I don't get it, the dossier said `Destructive action necessary`." "Mnnh, actually no. Check it, says `Discrete action imperative`. You even got the adjective wrong." "What the?! WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO ME?" "You ran inside screaming `Let's F$%!#@ do this!` Round house kicked a drone into a reactor and proceeded to punch every control console into the ground before you leaped into a raging inferno to punch more robots." "YOU DIDN'T DO ANY BETTER! You didn't expect that conveyor belt to whip power cells into the control room!" "I miscalculated and still got the data out before everything went to hell. Bite me." "Yah well cutting the pipes leading to the core didn't look like a miscalculation." "WE WERE LEAVING. I Didn't want to have to deal with an endless hoard of murder bots for that long!" "So you admit that you also did a stupid?" "I WILL CUT YOU IN HALF!" "Pft. funny." "Then while you're coming back I'm gonna burn most of your wardrobe, and all of your ties." "NO, DON'T YOU DARE." ~Wait so what made it go kaboom? The punching or the cutting?~ "Yes." "She didn't read the dossier." "She thought I was a good roll model." ~I think you're a good roll model!~ "Still hungry..." "GIVE IT A REST!" "Oh crud we're not getting paid are we?" "Why did I follow your lead? The hell is wrong with me today? Maybe the heat..." "Oh yes, god forbid your feeble constitution be hit by a heat wave of 55 degrees Fahrenheit." "Wow, that's a pretty big word for you. 4 syllables, what an achievement." "What, Fahrenheit?" "mnhmm yah sure." ~Guys Roulette's starting to throw stuff, things are starting to break.~ "Crap. Save the TV, It's brand new!" "F%!# Save the food, I'm still hungry!" As always Like Share Sub and Ring That Bell if you like what you hear, follow me on my social media to ask questions and see what I'm doing, comment below on what you think and what you'd like to hear next, and I hope you all enjoy! (If you'd like to request a personal commission, send me an email.) rushat1325@yahoo.com My Twitter https://twitter.com/Tit0Rush?lang=en My Patreon https://www.patreon.com/RushG My Reddit https://www.reddit.com/user/RushGarcia My SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/rush-garcia-297954716 Hayden Gallup https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE8ysL6GKkIoD5bzJpJSO_Q Hayden's Website https://haydengallup.co/?fbclid=IwAR2DsYfmxZtiqrsoJuHjay2NdPw-f6n1CKH0vBVxj_Dut5AazkIuOWqG6VU Art Work Used https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/80353572 #rushgarcia #bigband #qys3