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And I'm not guaranteeing they'll be any good, BUT which ones wouldn't douse your dicks in cyanide? 

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Mike Taylor

Wisconsinite or Yooper, doncha know!

Mike Taylor

For sheer goofiness (as if the other suggestions weren't)... the pseudo-Germanic accent of Jagerspeak, language of the heroic (and ridiculous) Jagermonsters. Go read Girl Genius.