Life Journal #001: Meds & AR_IRL (lmao) (Patreon)

I think I’m going to start periodically writing journals just to kind of update on what’s going on with me artistically and personally, vent a bit, whatever; Be less of a mystery <3

Things have been a bit of a blur since January; I’ve been in and out of the pits of some mental health struggles and said as much to my Doctor. Perhaps that was a bad idea, IDK, but now I’m getting used to some potent medication I didn’t exactly want. Feels like my mind is very effectively squeezed in a vice and it’s been hard to focus on any one thing at a time without losing just about everything else.

It’s bizarre feeling all around.

But, not all bad?

I can tell that this probably is what needed to be done, and as I’m getting used to it I certainly feel a conspicuous lack of the sort of spiralling anxiety and impulses I was dealing with, and I keep getting SO many interesting ideas for art. Half a million vague sketches on everything from Perma-Fusion Tape to UDTF to vehicles and Pokémon galore, tho it’s been tough to keep myself on track with getting any of them done—they’re exciting me in ways I barely remember feeling for a looooong ass time.

… Got some kangaroo paw TF and Sisu merging that is really making me hhhhhnnngghhmnnph you know? Fun stuff. o.o;;

Bear with me just a couple more days here, and this week you all should be seeing some fun stuff across both tiers~!

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In other events, I’ve been noticing more and more that people seem to be categorizing me as “sick child” when they meet me rather than “disabled adult”, starting to feel like an uncanny sort of IRL age regression.

New nurse at the doctor’s office seemingly mistook me for a teenager and slapped a crayon bandaid on me after a patronizingly reassuring tetanus shot, nearly got my ID confiscated at the liquor store because they thought it was fake, and I can’t tell you how much I’m getting “sweetie” and “hun” in public. Store employee at the mall came up while I was browsing and was like “Do you need help finding anyone?” … not anyTHING, anyONE, as if they thought I was separated from my parents or something!? Honestly the difference in how serious people take me is palpable.

The power of estrogen I guess LOL??? Beware, if you’re starting HRT! It can happen to you tooooo

Combined with how short I am in my wheelchair I guess I just don’t stand a chance. Going to need to completely rethink my wardrobe and how it comes across, I suppose. Honestly been wanting to try and build out a cohesive style, now might be the time!

Might use my shiba self soon and test out some things style wise, meaning to get that reference sheet done~!

Been wanting to draw more dog content anyway. <3