Life Journal #002: So this is what serotonin feels like??? (Patreon)

Just wanted to update off that last journal. I was really scared of taking this medication; It wasn’t something I really wanted or even truly consented to, but when you’re at the hospital and they say ‘Do this willingly or we’ll force you to’ … uhhh that’s not much of a choice lol. But I think this might have been, in the end, exactly what I needed…?

Haven’t had any of the problems or done any of the stuff that made them so worried about me since starting, and though I had some terrifying hallucinations early on everything got adjusted and then about a week ago on the 16th it was like it all just clicked into place?

And all of a sudden, anxiety is manageable, I can draw like I never have been able to before, finishing whole things in one sitting and going from blank canvas to finished colour in 3-4 hours, and in the past week I’ve finished FIVE colour drawings and don’t feel burnt out???

On top of that, I’m feeling interested and excited about things in ways I’d honestly forgot or maybe even never knew was possible. Huh.

I’ve been saying it a ton I know, like a broken record of broken promises that maybe I can finally clear the backlog and get stuff done, the iPad helped a bunch this past summer but it wasn’t enough on its own and all I could ever seem to get done were random ideas that fell out of me not what I actually needed to get done. Like I’m not cured by any stretch of the imagintion, but I think I can genuinely, truly be functional now.

Knocking on wood so I don’t jinx it lol. Will do my best to keep this pace up <3