Wish upon the Stars chapter 1249 (Patreon)

Two weeks. Two weeks of travel, of combat, of searching and purifying and generally miserable nonsense. We’d cleansed six fragments during that time, helped by Dabrock and the five heroes, and I was sick of it. 

Not that I would say that. I was grateful for their help, and for everything Dabrock had been teaching me. I’d given the soul seed to Azazel, who had been spending his new freedom excitedly helping with our quest and getting to know the others, and Dabrock had been teaching me plenty of new and exciting ways to bring my power to bear that I hadn’t even considered.

But the fact remained that I was still away from my wife. Two weeks wasn’t quite the one to five ratio it had been, since we’d been getting closer and closer, but it was still a month and a half. Callie had lost touch, ostensibly because she was busy trying to complete her breakthrough to A-rank and didn’t have time to talk, but realistically because she was about to have the twins and knew how much it would hurt me not to be there.

I appreciated her efforts, even if they made me feel like a scumbag for not being around for my own kid’s births. Sadly, I couldn’t do anything about it. This was the best way to make sure they were safe from Mordu’s eventual attack, and I knew intellectually they wouldn’t remember any of this anyway. The important thing was making sure they’d be safe in the future, so I just had to suck it up and put in the work.

Enduring pain was kind of my bag, even if this was a lot more emotional than my usual agony, so I was well equipped to lock in and push myself, at least, and the weeks of progress had, if nothing else, yielded impressive results for me stat wise.

I’d broken the seven hundred fifty million mark on my stats, firmly stepping into the last quarter of my needed progress, most likely because of Dabrock’s good regard and because of all the S-rank enemies we’d been hunting, and had even completed the Summer Phoenix bloodline, and pushed my per scroll stat number to seventy five thousand, as well as netting a nice times three bonus to Fantasy. I was officially out of scrolls, sadly, having used them all in my most recent bout of improvement, but still, by any metric I had been making amazing progress.

I just didn’t CARE about any of that. “You need to rest,” my mother said with a sad sigh as she sat down next to me. “She wouldn’t want you doing this to yourself. You look like a ghost. You’ve been pushing nonstop since we left Sunshineville. Have you even slept?”

“Don’t need it,” I grunted. “Zagan takes care of the fatigue.”

“Yeah, because that’s healthy,” she said sarcastically. “I’m putting my foot down then. You need to sleep. Dabrock says we should be entering Belsara’s court next. This was the last fragment in the line we picked. We’ve put a huge dent in Mordu’s power, but this next part requires you to be of sound mind, not half insane with worry and stress. Go to bed, Shane.”

I shot her a glare. “That’s not your call to make,” I snapped. “I’m not a child anymore, in case you missed it, and you don’t get to send me to my room like I am. You didn’t earn that.”

She flinched, and I felt a little bad, because I shouldn’t have said that, but I stood by the sentiment. She didn’t get to act like my mom now, not after everything. Not in that way. I was an adult who made my own decisions.

“I probably deserve that,” she said softly, in a way that made me even more sure she hadn’t. “And you’re probably right that I’m overstepping. But I don’t actually care. You’re my son and you’re killing yourself. So you WILL go the fuck to sleep, Shane Wyndham, or so help me gods I will call your wife myself and tell her what you’re doing, and we’ll see if you’re as cavalier about brushing HER off. We’re close enough that I bet a scan ring could get through directly without your ring space, and if it can’t it will when we enter the same fragment.”

That one brought me up short, like ice water dumped over my head. “You can’t do that,” I protested. “She’s giving BIRTH, or maybe just did, she shouldn’t be worried…about…me-”

“The stupidity of that sentiment took a second to sink in, huh?” she said with a gentle smile.

“It’s not stupid,” I retorted hotly. She raised an eyebrow. “It’s NOT! It’s just maybe slightly hypocritical.” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “I don’t want to sleep,” I admitted. “I have bad dreams. I’m not used to being without her this long, and the longer it goes the more my imagination runs wild. I can’t rest for more than a few minutes. It’s fine though, I’ll be fine when we get to her. Everything will be fine when we get to her.” I repeated it to myself sharply, forcing my aching mind to believe it.

Because it DID ache. I was so tired. A-rankers didn’t need a lot of sleep, but we needed some, and what was more we needed REST. Mental fatigue buildup was real, even with Zagan patching me up, and I’d been going nonstop for weeks now. I was blurry around the ages, my soul was aching, and I could barely think.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew this was a bad way to approach Belsara, to get into the ring with Mordu or even to see Callie, but there was nothing I could do about it. I just needed to make it the last bit. I was in the home stretch, and once I reached Callie everything would be better.

“Oh, Shane,” my mom said sadly. “You could have told us. You can always ask for help.”

“Told you what?” I snorted. “That I, a grown man, am having nightmares and I needed my mommy to fix it? What could you even do to help? I’m handling it, I just have to tough it out. We’re almost there.”

My mask was off, lying on the ground next to where I sat, and I realized blearily that no one else was around. My mom must have sent them away. I had enough presence of mind to be grateful for that, at least. They didn’t need to see me like this. I was just glad Jessie and Benny weren’t here, they’d been coming down on me for this same thing before I left. Sometimes I really was useless on my own.

My mom sighed, reaching up to put her hands on either side of my head. She pulled me into a hug, rubbing my temples, and I sighed as I felt her purification flame flow into my mind, soothing warmth coming over my thoughts as it pulsed into my skull. I remembered her saying my grandfather could do something like that, but I honestly hadn’t considered that it was possible in this case, after all, I had Zagan, and I couldn’t get rid of this headache.

She noticed my confusion and laughed. “I’m not relieving the stress, not really, but I can purify your thoughts, keep the dreams away. There IS in fact, something your mommy can do to scare off the bad dreams. I hope that’s humiliating, you kind of deserve it.”

I snorted out a laugh at that. “Just a little,” I admitted. I sat in the silence for a moment, then offered. “I’m sorry, mom. That thing about you not having the right to tell me to rest was out of line. I don’t hold any of that against you anymore, you know that. And you don’t deserve me taking my frustration out on you, no matter what it feels like. That was childish and shitty and I’m sorry.”

“You weren’t wrong,” she said sadly. “I wasn’t around. But I’m not letting my son hurt himself if I can help it. I don’t care how much you resent me for it. You’ll feel the same way about the twins when you meet them. Just because I couldn’t be with you, doesn’t mean I love you any less. You and Chelsea are everything to me.”

“I know,” I said firmly. “I’ve always known that. Since pretty much the first time I met you. Circumstances and resentment aside, I could always tell how much you loved me. I don’t doubt it for a second. Besides, how am I supposed to hold it against you when I’m doing the same damned thing?” I laughed bitterly. “It’s not like I’m around for my kids being born. I mean, you definitely didn’t miss that, so I’m pretty sure you’re coming out ahead already.”

I meant it as a stupid joke, pointing out how she couldn’t have been absent at the start, but it came out a lot more truthful than I intended. Without missing a beat, my mom’s hand came off my right temple and slapped me upside the back of the head, just like I’d seen her do to my dad.

“You watch your mouth, young man,” she snapped, real anger on her face. “You are NOT doing what I did. You’re a bit late to meeting them, but they won’t remember this. The truth is, you aren’t going to be there. You might not even be around for a while after. Once we get to them, I’m sure you’ll need to head off to deal with this three witches nonsense, and Morwenna is a problem that needs solving.”

“So, I’m going to be the same as-” I started belligerently.

She cut me off with another smack. “You are going to do what NEEDS doing. I will not allow you to take any longer than necessary. Because that’s the difference. You’re not ALONE, Shane. You’ve brought all of us together in a way your father and I never could. Your babies might not have you around in the beginning, but they’ll have me, and your father, and my parents, and we’ll take care of them and love them and on the very unlikely chance that you aren’t back from taking care of this mess by the time they can understand what’s going on, we’ll tell them how much you love them and miss them, and how you’ll be coming home soon.”

I stared at her in shock. Because…she was right. I’d been thinking about this as an all or nothing kind of thing. Once we had the kids our lives WOULD change, but that didn’t mean we’d suddenly be cast adrift on a sea of isolation. I had friends, family, and a support system.

My parents had been screwed over by Black Sorrow’s anger about my grandmother, but that obstacle was gone. Hell she was excited to meet the twins, as was my grandma, Callie’s mother, and everyone else. Even my ancestor was looking forward to greeting them, and the old man rarely spoke to anyone except the current Wishmaster.

I felt my eyes tear up a bit, and I lowered my head so my mom wouldn’t see. She, in turn, pretended that worked as her hand went back to my temple, and the soothing pulse of purifying warmth resumed. This time, I didn’t speak as it did its work. She was right. I needed rest to be at my best to help my wife. I leaned my head against my mom’s shoulder as she rubbed my temples, letting sleep finally catch up and claim me as my eyes fluttered closed.

I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t going to be. Neither would Callie or the kids. We had people in our lives who were there for us, and for the first time since she’d been taken, I could look at the situation and see that it wasn’t just MY job to save her. We’d all do it together, and knowing that, how was I supposed to keep worrying so much? I drifted off with a calm smile on my face, my heart easing in a way it hadn’t in a long time.