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Adelheid 4 Chapter 18 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-06-16 22:00:03
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Next chapter should be the final one of Book 4. After chapter 19, I'm going to be focused on writing the side stories.

Also, I've changed beastkin to raja. It sounded like a better title than just beast king.

Files

Previews only

Chapter 18: Battle in the Rain

William stood on the roof of the fortress and stared at the gray clouds above. Although it was morning, the land was cast in shadows. Even if he knew nothing about meteorology, he knew that a turbulent storm would occur. He turned around and made way toward the largest tent.

Comments

Alexey Gladkich

A bit of a general advice: many of the earlier chapters consisted of Adelheid's inner monologue about her plans. It'd be more engaging if you showcased the situation via scenes where Adelheid had discussions with Heinrich, Sofia, and Silber regarding their respective fields (Business, Politics, Military).

KaiserBlak
>>141175231

Will take into account. Heinrich is taking a backseat right now, so probably no meeting. Silber is still "training" and won't have a chance to shine just yet. As for Sofia, she mainly takes cues from Adelheid, but I can imagine asking Adelheid to explain the reason behind her actions. But generally, Adelheid likes to keep a lot of things to herself, so the things she can discuss with other people about is mostly about things she herself needs to learn.

Alexey Gladkich
>>141175231

It is always helpful to hear addition perspectives even without exposing one's full intentions. Just to get a better feeling of the situation or get new ideas.

KaiserBlak
>>141175231

Yeah. William was more of the deuteragonist this book. Next book, Silber will have a larger role.

Alexey Gladkich
>>141175231

I don't mean to make a character into a secondary protagonist. Simply, improve a chapter by shifting from inner monologue into a discussion. Say, chapter 5 starts with Adelheid figuring out what to do to incorporate Hannibal and his adventuring company. It can be switched for Adelheid discussing it with Silber regarding her opinion on the subject plus some points from Sofia once the idea of balancing the order comes into play. Chapter 3 could be improved similarly if Adelheid planned to reveal her ideas of distillation to somebody at this point.

KaiserBlak
>>141175231

I don't think Adelheid has enough trust in Silber yet at that point. Your words have merit, but I don't think I'm going to rewrite chapter 3 right now. I might have to delay the release by a week right now. This book took so much longer to write than I thought. Mostly because I was going too many places and didn't have time to write. TT_TT