Selfportraits (Patreon)

Hello everyone!

You all probably know that I recently had a birthday. I turned 29 . I didn't make my post here just because I didn't feel inspired to write my thoughts at all, and posting just photos seemed too "empty" for such a day. So I'm writing now

I don't know at what point I stopped loving my birthday... though "loving" is too strong a word... more like I'm a little annoyed with the day. And do you know why? It's simple - the constantly vibrating phone in my pocket annoys me 🤣.... Don't missunderstand me - I'm happy when friends, relatives or acquaintances congratulate me - I'm annoyed by the very fact that everyone says something damn nice and cloyingly sweet and all in one day.

Therefore, on this birthday, I accepted greetings only from my closest people - and next day I answered and thanked for all other greetings. For the first time, I allowed myself not to feel this obligation to answer everyone, to thank everyone in my day . And it was easier for me.

I'm 29 and I don't feel the difference from 28 or 25. Before I was 25, I somehow felt that I was growing up... After 25, time seems to stop) (After that, only the number of doctors I visit in a year changes 🤣)

But you know that pleasant feeling. I no longer actively think about who I want to be, who I want to become, where I want to live, how much money I want to earn - I don't live in a rush for the result. I began to enjoy the process, I found meaning in the "process", in everyday affairs, in routine trifles, in people, in communication. And time seemed to stop after that. (Yes im still thinking about future, but this thoughts not makes me too obsessed as before, and i dont scare about not knowing answers on my questions in my head)