Selfie (Patreon)

Lately I’ve started packing some of my things.

Since we finally have some movement with the visa, it feels logical to begin this process - slowly going through everything, getting rid of what I don’t need, finding new homes for the things I won’t be taking to the US, and just seeing what we’ve actually accumulated over this year in Mexico.

And while I was sorting things, I came across my Polaroid album.

I started flipping through it, adding new photos I hadn’t placed yet, trying to organize it a bit. And I found this shoot - and decided to share it with you.

You know, I’ve been wanting to make a photobook for a long time, but I never actually get to the point of sitting down and doing it. There’s always something - no time, no energy, I forget, I postpone.

But my friend Lolita recently started working on her own book. She printed her photos and began physically arranging them, combining them by hand. And she told me how beautiful this process is - that the inspiration doesn’t come before, it comes during. While you’re actually doing it.

And she told me - just print them. Start.

Of course, I didn’t. As usual.

But then I opened my Polaroid album - and those are already printed photos. And as I started moving them around, rearranging, I suddenly felt this real desire to combine them, to build something out of them.

At the same time, I’ve been wanting to make a photo album for my mom. Something with photos from my life, so she doesn’t forget how I look - since we don’t see each other often. That gave me a reason to start. A reason to actually do it.

So I ordered an album and started imagining how I would fill it. Photos in chronological order. Small notes next to them.

“This is Tenerife — our last night, dancing in a bar.”

“This is us trying to make pizza and completely failing.”

“This is Joel asking for ice cream at 9am.”

“This is Gary cleaning sand off my feet.”

“This is Katya baking bread.”

All these small, simple, very alive moments.

And suddenly I realized - what if this is my way of making a photobook? Not sitting at a computer. Not overthinking layouts. But doing it by hands. With printed photos. Like a scrapbook. Writing thoughts, memories, feelings directly next to the images. And honestly… this idea excites me so much. Because if I haven’t been able to make a “proper” photobook all this time, maybe this is just not my way. Maybe my way is simpler, more physical, more alive. To take my Polaroids, build something by hand, and maybe later scan it - and that becomes the book.

I understand this is not the format I usually work in. My Polaroids are often more intimate, more about the body, about sensuality, about femininity and desire. And that’s not exactly the core of my photography as a whole.

But… why not?