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Selfportraits (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-01 19:30:16
Edited:
2025-04-21 00:58:27
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

I was faced with questions that haunt me. I always think about them and try to find answers inside myself and inside others ... I would be glad if you share your thoughts on this matter.

- Should we change for the sake of our relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend?

- Should we change our preferences, habits, desires if they offend our partner?

And on the other hand, thoughts climb:

- True love is acceptance of a person as he is

- Changes should come from within us and for our sake, not for the sake of someone

Files

Comments

Unto the Wolves

It is an excellent series of questions. However, the answers are never that clear. The array of answers I would expect you to get would be quite a wide variety indeed due to it relying on the personal experiences and opinions of each person individually. I ask you to keep this in mind as I give you my answer. My answer, it's up to the person who is required to change on whether The relationship is worth that change. Here are some things to think about as to where that answer comes from... 1. If I were to say you need to accept me for who I am, that is as if to say I am perfect and do not need any improvement. This of course is incorrect, we all must continue to work on ourselves and evolve to become better versions of ourselves everyday. So change, is inevitable. 2. A relationship is a very personal addition into one's life. For the two in the relationship, each must choose to sacrifice self over the need of the relationship in some way or another for it to exist. 3. There is no wrong answer here in my opinion. If someone says you must accept them the way they are, then they themselves have already made the choice that The relationship is not worth change, just as you would have made the same choice by choosing not to accept The other person the way they currently are and are attempting to change them. If you are at an impasse where neither of you are willing to conform for the other, then that impasse will become much bigger of a problem in the future and you should part ways now for the sake of sanity and time. I wish you luck and I'm here if you need to talk.

Angelo

I am an older man, well into my second marriage and with three children, one of them probably older than you. That is not to say I'm old and wise -- and as such my opinion is to be valued: just to point out that probably my point of view is much different from the one of a younger person. Relationship is compromise, adaptation, mutual influence. If it is to last, you will renounce many things that are valuable to you -- and your partner too: because you both believe the two of you together are more important than each of you -- and because you don't believe you can be whole without the other. Of course, there are two cautions: the first one -- reciprocity is a must -- if one has to accept everything and the other nothing it's not healthy; the second one: believe yourself if you feel trapped -- and extricate yourself before it's too late.

Angelo

P. S. Sorry to say that, but this series seems a little uninspired to me.

Constantine

Never change who you are. Be true to yourself. You are wonderful.