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Selfportraits (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-11 11:24:07
Edited:
2025-04-21 14:10:22
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

The issue of "sexuality" has been actively raised in my life. I am troubled by my rejection of this part of the human manifestation. Not even like that - I want to show myself sexually, but I seem to sabotage this process and make a joke out of it.

These photos are almost a year old. This is the first shooting in which I decided to use underwear in self-portraits in order to achieve that desired sexy vibe (which I have been running away from in my photography for so long). It seemed to me that I managed to photograph what I had failed to capture before. But now I look at these pictures and see just a frightened girl who does not know what to do and how to do it.

Just a couple of days ago, I dug into myself again on this topic, watched this shooting and understood my fear and prejudice about sexuality... Do not look for that logic - but here is my conclusion -

Due to the fact that I don't even know what it's like to be sexy - I'm afraid to express myself sexually (as I imagine it) because I'm afraid of the ridicule of others. It turns out that I'm just afraid to even try, but why I don't understand at all. It's like I'm sabotaging this process myself - when I even try to express myself sexually, I turn it into a joke.

It seems to me that I am missing a large range of emotions in my life because of this prejudice. But I'll deal with it) In the meantime, you can look at my failed display of sexuality in the photos)))

And by the way, I'm interested to hear from you - what is sexy for you in a woman?

Files

Comments

Piet

There are common traits guided by society, advertising and the media but it is above all a question of subjectivity. Personally and according to my perception, I find you very sexy. :)

Wally

I think it’s stunning that you can look as sexy with your clothes on (even though this is sexy underwear) as you do naked.

philm camera

Why would putting on lingerie make you any sexier than you already are. ;) being able to joke About sex is the sexiest of all. Have to face the fact that sexuality is inherently funny. And if you can laugh at it and joke around while having sex then you’ve broken down barriers between man and woman and both partners in sex can enjoy without judgement or expectations... or maybe I’m just as strange as you are. :))).

philm camera

And the photos are amazing. 🖤🖤📸📸🖤🖤📸📸

Kitty

For me, appearance is important to attract attention, but character is why I would be actually interested in someone. Your thoughtfulness and sincerity are some of your greatest qualities; it's not easy to introspect, to be vulnerable and to speak openly about how you truly feel, so I think that you can be proud of that. How we live and express our sexuality is something that is deeply personal and unique to each person, so we shouldn't be embarassed if we don't specifically conform to the way society conceives of what is and isn't sexy. I think that it's healthy to try going outside of your comfort zone from time to time, but don't feel bad if you didn't like it, that's perfectly fine too.

Wonder Andy

It takes many iterations of trial and error to learn to speak, to write, to ride a bicycle, to sing, to read light when shooting a photo, to dance and it's the same for expressing your sexuality as well. Do not feel bad for not nailing it on the first try – be proud that you mustered the courage to try and got on the journey of evolving and learning to do something new! What is sexy depends so much on the person, but usually when the person is in contact with their true self and is in an environment where they are able to express it fully and enjoy it, that is where the highest form of sexiness comes from. Trying to imitate what is visually sexy in general only goes so far, although playing with it may be a good way of figuring out your own thing.

Puhpowee

Julia - sexy is someone comfortable in their own skin, confident enough to pay attention to other people. When we're young, pure beauty is sexy, but it's only skin deep. At any age, however, if we are able to have a smile in our eyes, to greet others warmly, to listen deeply to other people and be interested in them - that can be truly sexy, when someone is actually interested in and listening to someone else.

nudity.slip

thank you for such a pleasant words), have never even thought that being yourself may be sexy 🤭

nudity.slip

You mean that we can exress our sexuality or find it in the safe space like with our friends or partners?

Wonder Andy

For most, our true self and especially sexuality is such a delicate matter, well hidden under a hard shell, maybe buried under layers that we have built around ourselves, as we try to avoid getting hurt and being embarrassed. A safe space to explore and play with our sexuality without the fear of being rejected or ridiculed helps to start building a connection to it. In general, if you want to do something that you haven't before, you need to allow yourself to make a lot of mistakes. I think in such an environment sexuality can reach its highest potential. If we are in an environment where we need to (or just subconsciously feel the need to) pretend to be something or to uphold some mental or physical mask, even if it could look sexy on the surface, it's not quite the same as someone revealing their true self and sincere feelings. It reminds me of an earlier post of yours, where you tell about the professional model who could not *NOT* pose and you could not capture her true essence in your photos. To show your true self and not "overpose" in a photo, it takes a different kind of an environment than where professional models mostly do commercial work. Standard professionally posed photo might be beautiful, but it will not be breathtaking like a natural one, something is missing. But it takes courage to let go of the learned masks and be oneself (or even to figure out who you really are). I think with sexuality it's the same thing.

Mark Anthony

Great shoot Julia 🖤 Continue to grow in your confidence, knowledge of yourself and your craft, that’s very sexy. 🫶🏻