Talk (Patreon)

I haven't posted much lately because for the first time in my life, I found myself in a relationship with someone I didn't love, deceiving both myself and him, and I couldn't fight it anymore. I thought I was doing it for survival, but the truth is, after my last relationship, I was in a terrible state and was ready to accept any care and attention. You shouldn't do that; love can't be built just because your partner is a good person. I didn't have the spark or chemistry from the start. I told him everything honestly and accepted responsibility. When we separate, I will cry from deep loneliness.

Right now, I want to continue living abroad. I don't feel like Russia is my home, but I feel despondent abroad. I have to survive again, start over again. I have little left of myself.