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Chapter 1 - Finnigan the Fighter

Nestled at the heart of Otters’ Gate, the Tipsy Unicorn stands as a beacon of warmth in the cold night. The golden light and cheerful music that leak out of the inn's windows suggest a lively ambiance, but the battle scars on the wooden exterior and the broken glass on the ground suggest an even livelier crowd. A sign with a crude caricature, a blushing white unicorn depicted with a tankard of ale, welcomes guests at the entrance. Clearly, what the owners lack in security, they make up for in humor.

Upon entering, two details hit you: the air is thick with the scent of hearty stew and the floor is sticky with spilled whiskey. Dimly lit by flickering lanterns and the occasional magical light, the common room is adorned with all sorts of trophies that tell the tales of past adventures.

At the heart of the inn, a worn wooden bar stretches across the room, tended to by a stout and friendly dwarf-

***

FINN: What does the dwarf look like? Is he hot?

BEN: Well… He's a dwarf so short, stocky, and huh… Hairy too. He's kinda like a short bear.

MARKUS: Like Henry, basically?

BEN: Shorter, but yeah, pretty much that. So yeah, I’d say he’s hot.

FINN: Oh sweet! I wanna flirt with him.

BEN: You haven't even arrived yet.

FINN: I rolled a 6.

FIROUZ: Wow! He's clearly not into you.

FINN: Eh? That's not fair!

JADE: You didn't even roll the right die, Finn, that's a d12.

FINN: I flex my biceps at the barman.

DIEGO: Yeah, like that ever works.

BEN: Ahem!

FINN: What's wrong with my biceps?

MARKUS: Absolutely nothing!

BEN: Guys…

DIEGO: It's just that bartenders have evolved to become immune to that kind of stuff. Everyone flirts with us every night.

BEN: Guys…

FIROUZ: Oh wait Finn, keep him busy with your gun show. DM, can I pickpocket the dwarf with advantage while he's distracted?

BEN: Guys, please! I'm just trying to describe the inn. Can I get a minute? And then I'll introduce you.

FINN: Of course buddy, you should've said so from the start!

BEN: Where was I? Oh right.

***

…by a stout and friendly bear- err… dwarf.

He regales patrons with - probably slightly exaggerated - stories of legendary quests while deftly pouring frothy ales into tankards worn smooth from countless toasts. Behind him, a corkboard is plastered with parchments and notices: a bounty board where adventurers and swords for hire seek employment.

Groups of mercenaries huddle at round tables, their armor clinking softly as they discuss the latest job opportunities. In a dark corner of the room, cloaked figures seem to be making shady deals protected by the cover of the surrounding noise. In another corner, a bard plays enthusiastic melodies on what looks like a magical lute, creating an energetic soundtrack to the patrons’ lively chatter.

The Tipsy Unicorn brands itself as a haven for those seeking both refuge and adventure. But more importantly, it is the place where your adventure begins.

A strapping young human enters the inn. His hair has the color of raging flames and his striking blue eyes are filled with dreams of heroism. His skin, freckled by the sun and scarred by the blade, bears testimony of his past experiences on the battlefield and suggests that, despite his young age, he has survived many deadly encounters already. The shield and sword buckled at his back seem quite simple, devoid of any magical aura, but upon closer inspection, one would notice the silver coating that renders his blade effective against otherworldly creatures.

Making his way to the bar, the young human meets the dwarven barkeep and introduces himself as…

***

BEN: Wait… This must be a mistake on your sheet. You named your character “Finn”?

FINN: Finnigan, yes!

BEN: But… That’s your name…

FINN: Well… I wanted to make sure I would remember it.

BEN: I… (sigh) I suppose that's fair.

***

Finnigan, the brave fighter!

The bartender introduces himself as Bastien and gives him a knowing smile as if to tell Finn that he’s not the first young fighter in whom he sees this desperate eagerness to prove himself.

“I’m a hero seeking adventure!” declares Finn.

“Of course you are.” replies the dwarf. “Whether you are looking for glory or treasure, you are certain to find it at the Golden Palace.”

“And where is that?” asks the fighter.

“The Golden Palace can be found at the heart of the Clapping Mountains, south of Otters’ Gate and past Scandalkeep.”

Now with a promptness that surprises the young human, the dwarf picks a piece of parchment from the quest board and offers it up on the wooden surface of the bar. The missive tells of King Sikandar, the monarch of the southern kingdom, who requests a skilled adventurer to journey to the Golden Palace and rid it of the evil beast that lurks in its maze-like catacombs. A generous reward of 20,000 crowns is offered for the completion of this quest.

However, the kind barkeep warns you that none has ever returned from attempting this quest. What will you do?

***

FINN: Would Bastien be into it if I went for it?

BEN: Huh?

FINN: Like, would it maybe make him think I’m cool?

BEN: Roll Insight. Wait, no, that’s your d12 again. Yes, that one is the d20. Now add your Wisdom modifier to it.

FINN: 14!

BEN: You get a sense that he would be impressed if you were to accomplish this grandiose feat.

FINN: Then I do it!

***

Unencumbered by such things as logic and caution, Finnigan decides to embark on this quest and makes plans to leave at first light in the morning. After a last drink of ale and securing a room key from Bastien, he finds his quarters for the night.

The room is quite barebones, equipped with nothing more than a bed and an end table on which shines a small oil lamp. A large chest at the foot of the bed offers the possibility to doff his armor and store his weapons for a more comfortable sleep. A window on the back wall of the room is covered with drapes that seem to have seen better days as they’re riddled with holes. The Swiss cheese looking linen lets moonlight pool inside, rimming the shape of the furniture with a silvery blue sheen.

What would you like to do now?

***

FINN: Should I just go to bed?

BEN: It’s up to you.

FIROUZ: Yeah, don’t rush on our account. It’s not like we wanna play or anything.

BEN: Patience, Roo, your turn will come.

FIROUZ: Pff!

FINN: I will take off my armor and go to bed.

BEN: Awesome! So…

***

Without inspecting his room for traps or any shady details, the fighter removes his armor and, in his vulnerable nakedness, snuffs the lamp before resting his head on the soft pillow, exposing his neck to the possibility of a swift blade in the night. Despite the looming threat of a stranger entering his unguarded room and slitting his throat while he rests, he finds sleep quickly.

***

FINN: Wait, you’re making it sound like I should’ve looked around.

BEN: Me? Never.

***

About an hour past midnight, an almost imperceptible creak emanates from the window.

***

FINN: Oh no. I’m not gonna die, am I? Can I wake up?

BEN: Roo, give me a Stealth check.

FIROUZ: Coming right up… Oh shit! You gotta be fucking kidding me!

DIEGO: First one of the game! Haha!

FIROUZ: The table’s not leveled right.

JADE: Well, the table has spoken! And it says you fumbled.

FINN: Does that mean I’ll live?

FIROUZ: For now, Red.

MARKUS: Aren’t we supposed to be on the same side?

DIEGO: Oh we are, but Firouz is always a wild card.

BEN: Moving on…

***

A loud thud wakes Finnigan up, interrupting what I’m sure was a beautiful dream of Bastien.

As the fighter quickly shakes the sleep off his eyes, he sees a figure on the ground. It looks as if the intruder attempted to discreetly enter the room by the window and instead stumbled gracelessly into it…

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Comments

Dan CH

Totally a dork…. But we love him for it

Adam Lunter

This is so fun! I’m already fully invested! The player sheet is awesome, and the story is very good! The interspersed dialogue is great!!! Really brings the shift in focus from game mode to player mode! BTW, this is my new phone wallpaper!

Mister_Darkly

Looooove the design! That codpiece needs to be added to your Merch store.

Cabaret Bara

Hahaha I can almost hear Finn in the background going "But I'm not a dork 😭" LMAO

Cabaret Bara

Cardiac health is important! Make sure to get regular health checkups 😛

Cabaret Bara

Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's a good excuse to work on my writing too.

Cabaret Bara

Hahaha I just need to find a gay metalworker who's willing to collab 😛

Marin Gouin

I'm sure he can help me do some cardio to stay active 🥵.

RedRoo

Ottergate Huhu your puns are getting to me.

Cabaret Bara

Hahahahahaha I'm glad that my stupid humor can resonate with someone 🤣

RedRoo

Although I’m surprised his charisma is so low, charisma has a correlation effect to how good looking a character is *chin rubs and fixes nerd glasses* :P Now I’m invested to see who there rizz boy is

JJ

Ollie...this is Cabaret Bara now :P (jk jk - you know I love your main story) but seriously this is SO much fun! The bits of dialogue are great and give that chaos feel as Ben tries to keep the story moving. Stellar work x

Allan Meyer

Intelligence minus-1 those dice knew what they were doing, hah. Love all of this.

welan

You know we see those type of hyper sexualized armor a lot for woman . Very rarely on man . Nice job.

SpicyRamen

Finn is such a mood 😂 I too would go on an adventure to smash the sexy dwarf. And damn, Ben said no tutorials for your himbo ass 💜💜💜 Love this so much!!!

Cabaret Bara

It's funny cause we had that conversation at our table at one point and we concluded that charisma has nothing to do with looks and more to do with how "smooth" you are. Finn has like no game so he lets his looks do the talking for him XD

Cabaret Bara

Thank you so much! Honestly, as much as I enjoy doing a side story where it's just A fucks B, I feel like doing something like this offers so much more insight into the characters' relationships. And there WILL be smut here too of course.

Cabaret Bara

Hahahaha we certainly don't have a wizard on our hands here.

Cabaret Bara

Exactly! And I'm not saying "stop putting women in these", I think there are contexts where these types of impractical designs work. All I'm saying is "put EVERYONE in these", we all deserve an equal chance at objectification XD

Cabaret Bara

Hahaha well, considering his best friend is a long time player, I think Finn did get help when creating his character and I also think he got a bit of explanation. But of course, it's Finn we're talking about. You could give him a full cursus on D&D and he'd still roll his d12 by mistake.

RedRoo

OI!….his himbo game is smooth!…dear god why ain’t I asleep yet XD

SpicyRamen

A true himbi after our heart 🥰

Sylvok Wolfrun

Seeing his character pic and sheet, yeah I can definitely say he's like a lot of the characters I've made. I love it, and now have inspiration for a new one🧡

Cabaret Bara

Aaaawww I'm so happy that this is putting you in the D&D mood. And I'd love to see artwork of your characters if you have any. Feel free to share it on our Discord server.

AlexandOliver4Ever

Wow Ollie!!!! Ben (you) is (are) such an AMAZING STORYTELLER!!!! It's so good!!!! And Finnigan's eyes are definitely striking (as is the rest of Finnigan...but I definitely have a thing for his piercing blue eyes!!!) The detail of the armor is incredible! Finn looks amazing!!!

Donnie

I am really enjoying this series!

Christian V

Noooo it’s over lmao 🤣 it’s really really good. It’s like I’m in a campaign again. I know I’ve said this but you are very talented I love this 100%

Cabaret Bara

Thank you so much for all your kind words! I'm so happy you're enjoying this despite not being very familiar with D&D. I'm hoping to make the story accessible for everyone. ❤️

Cabaret Bara

Thank you so much! And don't worry, it's not over, there's more on the way!

SteTeto

Poor Ben, his patience will be put to the test!!! Also from the name Otter's Gate definitely seems like a place I would like to visit!!!

Hayden Hayes

lol I love this; it’s so Finn! Not to mention his whole intro is adorably ‘this is my first time playing so I wanna be a cool hero type’ focused. Also, I can’t help but laugh about the Golden Palace, because it makes me think of Graz’zt (the Demon Prince of Debauchery) and his Ardent Palace

Cabaret Bara

Oh it's 100% worth a visit! 😜 And being a DM always tests your patience haha.

Cabaret Bara

I'm glad you enjoyed it 😛 Finn just wants to be a good boy

Jason Lauchlan

It’s like in Ghost and Goblins when the player gets hit and all the armor comes off. Didn’t need the hit, apparently, XD

Cabaret Bara

OMG I love that game. I also hate it, but I love it.

BuffVenom

I love this so much - the playfulness of the oh-so-real banter btwn the players interrupting the DM and Ben's beautifully written descriptions that I think I might learn from as I prep running my next DnD session 😜😍❣️

Cabaret Bara

Aaaah thank you so much! If I do manage to inspire someone to play D&D with this, I'll consider my mission a success 😛