Home
Creators
Search Recent Missing Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

An Apology (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-21 22:31:01
Imported:
2026-06
haven't archived this post yet. have a subscription? use the importer!

Downloads

  • Apology - 11:21:22, 5.28 PM.mp3

Missing 1 full-res photo, 1 file, as this post has not yet been imported.

Files

Previews only

Comments

chelsd

i have not commented on any of this until now because as a white listener i am not here to offer forgiveness but i do want to thank everyone who has commented on this thread because i have learned a lot just from everyone’s perspectives. i will say i think claire has told stories on the podcast about calling out sexism and racism in her real life and i know that can be scary to do the right thing. i feel she is the type of person who does call out racism when she is among her peers, i remember at her previous job she called out how exclusive they were being with applicants for internships. which is something that we all should be doing more of. i appreciate that effort. i think it is at least fair to say claire’s anti racism “journey” (for lack of a better word i hope you guys get what i mean) started long before this tweet surfaced. i’m not saying that is enough, but it’s not like she is just doing this to save face. i’m so sorry to everyone that has had their safe space compromised and has to let go of their favorite podcast.

Anonymous

This is obviously disappointing and hurtful. However, as a gay bipoc therapist I can assure everyone that is it always better to call someone *in* rather than call them out. We cannot expect the world to change if we attack and shame people who make mistakes. Where I grew up it was very common in 2012 for people to use slurs (racial, homophobic, misogynistic, ableist, etc.) as jokes or to be edgy, so most people were desensitized to it - I know there are words I'd be shocked to hear now that I didn't bat an eye being called in 2012. Many of the people in my hometown have made massive strides in the last decade and I am confident Claire has too. I have listened to every episode of CMBC & the Patreon, and Claire and Ashley have made a clear effort to address issues of racism, misogyny, and other forms of oppression and inequity - even when it caused controversy or social media attacks (ex. calling out Matthew Perry's misogyny). Even in the way they consider how it would feel for a marginalized person to come on a podcast to discuss their oppression to give greater context for a memoir shows that they are not just apologizing to check a box, they are genuinely doing their best to be anti-oppressive and trauma-informed.

Anonymous

This apology feels sincere but it really seems like you should have addressed it on the main pod. Putting it on ig stories (kind of) and on patreon seems like you’re still trying to keep this under wraps and I know that you guys are blowing up more right now and it would hurt to address it more explicitly but it still seems like you’re hoping no one will notice this and move on. I think you’re tweet is forgivable (speaking as a white person ofc I’m not the one to pass final judgment) and I would be horrified to relive the insensitive things/slurs I used to use. But it was definitely disappointing to listen to the pod this morning and not hear it addressed at all…especially if you’re sincere about giving refunds to BIPOC, that should be widely and publicly available info. Still love you guys and really believe you want to do what’s best.

Anonymous

Not here to defend. There’s just one thing that keeps being said that doesn’t make sense to me. Something being addressed just because it resurfaced is usually the only way that person remembers that even happened or was said so it only makes sense that that’s why it’s addressed. I don’t ever think about or look through everything I said and did ten years ago, let alone everything I did 5 years ago, I’m so consumed with my life now & what the future holds. I would dare to say that most people are the same, no matter the race.

Hannah
>>96137950

I have the same question. Wouldn’t intentionally resurfacing something bigoted from your own past for the sake of transparency would be unnecessarily hurtful to people affected? As a gay person I’d rather not hear the details of a public figures homophobic past unprompted but that’s not a perfect comparison by a long shot so please let me know if I am off base

Anonymous
>>96137950

No ma’am, I did not say that. Never would say that. I’m saying that the actual thing I commented on seems more complex than “you’re just addressing this because it resurfaced”. A person doesn’t have to even address something that resurfaces and that person is probably blindsided by something they did that long ago as well. That is ALL I SAID because that is the only thought that I have on it. It doesn’t imply anything else about this conversation and there is nothing else to read into. Also, you did not see me forgive her or say anything to her because I know this is not an issue I can even forgive and I honestly don’t have any words for her and I don’t really care what the consequences are for her, she should & will hopefully face them. Just interested in that one point that is being made because it does not entirely make sense to me since I understand the nature of time and memories.

Anonymous
>>96137950

Man, people will really put words into your mouth.The only comment I had is there. It doesn’t mean anything more than maybe shedding light to the complexity I see within that specific part of the conversation which really only has to do with timing & not the action. That’s it. I hope everyone here has a happy holiday with friends & family or completely alone if that’s how you recharge your spirit.

Jacinta Bridget

I’m three seconds in and I’m 98% sure the Kelly Ripa episode was pre-recorded before this, but they definitely should have added a disclaimer at the beginning and redirected people to the Patreon epp. It is a little jarring, especially hearing them say (as usual so nbd) if you don’t like us go somewhere else. I know it’s completely innocent but I think if people haven’t seen the Patreon apology they may be very confused and potentially upset.

Olivia Hull
>>96145747

I haven’t heard that ep but at least add it to the description if they haven’t already

Anonymous

This is obviously disappointing and space should be held for that hurt. It was wrong then and it is wrong now. I work in a library, so I always turn to books to help me carve out a plan on how to do better. Try to search some books with intersectional subjects. They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South is a nonfiction history book by Stephanie Jones-Rogers. It is valuable to understand the ways in which women have been complicit in the system that profited off black people's suffering--especially white women. The new anthology by Jelani Cobb: The Matter of Black Lives. It is long, but worth every word read. Anything by Baldwin, of course. Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia is another informative one. I learned so much. Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents is another educational book. All of these might feel too academic, but trust me: they open a space in your brain that sheds a light on everything (including your own morals). All oppression is related. Read not only about the struggle of people today, but about everything that came before that--read, read, read, take action, read, build community, read, take accountability....do it all. It is important to be intentional about the ways in which you want to take accountability.

Anonymous

The apology itself makes me not want to listen, I’m sad to say bc I love this pod. It was needed, but over thought.

Anonymous
>>96178930

Can I ask what about the apology bothered you or didn’t sit right? Genuinely curious

Anonymous
>>96178930

Oh yea! I think it needed to! But when they got it to portion of why they didn’t read poc books for a while or whatever. Honestly we are all just people trying to be and do our best, they’re giving THEYRE prospective, and that’s really all I can expect from them.

Bri
>>96178930

Yeah i agree they need to read more books written by POC

Anonymous

They should read what they want based on content.

grace
>>96145747

i am not sure if it was there before but it is linked now!

Anonymous

As a black listener I think so many of my feelings have already been represented by other black listeners in the comments. It’s so disappointing and a real hurtful distraction from the content that I have come to love so much. I wanted to comment to add to the numbers of listeners who feel this should be on the main feed. I listed to Kelly Ripa and bookmarked your merch page before stumbling upon this. Please take full accountability and put this apology on the main feed.

Anonymous

Long time, blck listener: I’m of the belief that a tweet from 10 years ago doesn’t warrant an apology if current action is without harm. Nevertheless I understand the intent. I’m very critical of the yt women I listen to. I haven’t really come across anything that’s pissed me off yet. Which lets me know that you guys do, at least, put in some work to educate yourselves. If anything continue to educate yourselves. Fuck an apology. Bring more blck guests in! That’s all I’m really looking for. An apology means nothing if the action isn’t there.

Julia Oster
>>96153645

reading through some comments and just wanted to say thank you for this list! really appreciate these reccomendations. ❤️

Anonymous
>>96145747

It wasn’t yesterday. Seems like one of the first things they should have done.

Jacinta Bridget
>>96145747

The link was definitely there yesterday, I messaged them yesterday asking if they could add the disclaimer at the beginning but the link was already there

Florence

Finally listened to this. The ppl that pulled those tweets didn't even want a proper apology, more to rub it in your face about the things you've said about Taylor. I am black and as bad as this is going to sound, I tend to assume that somewhere in their past, white people used slurs. It's bc where I grew up (Toronto), the n word was used so commonly by non black people. It was only when I got older, I realized how wrong it was. I've personally never been a fan of digging up tweets from ten years ago to shame people. I can only go by what I've heard on this podcast but it seems as if Claire has changed as a person and she's not the same person that made those tweets. It was ten years ago. I won't let this affect how I listen to the podcast bc it doesn't matter to ME. If there was proof that Claire used that word today, it'd be a different story. We're different people from the past and we should continue to grow and learn as people. Hope both you and Ashley are ok!

Anonymous
>>96301807

I am white and grew up in an affluent north east community where it was known as early as I could SPEAK not to ever say the n word, and this was before I even realized racism was still a current thing (I remember the moment I realized racism was still current, when I was 9). I know there is a history of rich white people shaming and condescending to poor white folk who did NOT grow up with the same culture and education that would lead a kid to never say the n word and I know all too well that this divide does NOT mean wealthier white people are less racist than poorer white people, just more holier-than-thou and in-the-know about what’s culturally acceptable. The Boston bussing era of the 70s are a good study in this- the book Common Ground highlights this poor vs rich white position well. This is why I give some grace to ppl who have used the word, especially in their past in the earlier internet years, as long as it’s in a non malicious/bigoted/prejudicial way, because I do not know where they came from. (Tho someone did call Claire out for being Ivy League educated at this point which is very valid). That said……I’m white! So can’t truly know how it feels. I just wanted to add to the discourse the dynamic of “cultural elite” using faux pas of folks from other backgrounds against them.

Anonymous

As a GenX Black queer woman, I am disappointed and saddened that you used the n-word at any point in time but, as many have said already, we live in an inherently racist society where white people are constantly having to unlearn ingrained racism and specifically anti-Black racism. Speaking ONLY for myself, I feel this apology was a good, sincere step forward from a long-past incident and I'm looking forward to seeing the growth that unrolls from your reckoning and owning of it. I believe in your growth, Claire. I wish I'd received more of this level of apology in my own personal and professional life. This podcast has also been a safe space for me to unwind and relax from a hateful and stressfully ignorant world, and one of the many reasons has been the non-tokenist, thoughtful care you take with memoirists of color and discussing the different contexts and struggles we have to deal with. I love that you and Ashley never tiptoe around complex or difficult subjects and how you confront the uncomfortable on a regular basis and also manage to make me laugh or nod and smile in recognition. I hope that continues and you stay as sharp-tongued and insightful as I have enjoyed thus far.

Anonymous
>>96205002

totally agree with you, I came to join the patreon, and I don't have twitter, so I didn't know. its super f-up that they didn't address it on their main channels, and come on! she's not a 60 year old, she's on her late 20s, she knows it is wrong

Anonymous
>>96301807

I’m from Toronto as well. I’m a white woman and can say that I’ve honestly never used the word. The word has always given me a sick feeling. So, it’s wrong to make assumptions that somewhere in a white person’s past he/she has used the n-word.