Okay, here's an actual update. (Patreon)

I've split this post into 2 questions that I've been getting asked most frequently:

1. Alex, when the fuck are you gonna upload?

2. Alex, why do you suck so much at being a Youtuber?

Question #1,

Originally, I was planning on staying off the internet for a while until the Inoue Documentary was fully ready. I've never really been the type of person to feel like they owe anything to anyone on Youtube or Twitter. But to the people that have actually been kind enough to be willing to support this Patreon, I actually do think you guys deserve to hear about when the hell am I ever gonna upload again.

And to put it shortly, I'm really hoping that, at best, I'll have it done in a month. But I honestly just don't know...

The process for making this video has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The script is twice the length of anything I've ever made before, and it's probably got some of the most ridiculously high-effort editing in all of mankind. Having said all that though, it's also been an absolute thrill to make. I'm not really somebody to ever loosely throw around the word "Documentary" like that, but it's kinda impossible for me to call it anything else at this point.

However, I really just can't give a good estimate of when this'll be done. I have tried to constantly give myself a due date for this so that I can keep myself on a consistent schedule, but my personal life has been making that pretty much impossible. It has been really hard to find a balance between putting my all into this video while also trying to finish up my senior year of college. Every week feels like I'm constantly alternating between shoving my face into textbooks  for exams and then sitting down for 10 hours to become one with my Adobe Premiere lmfao.

Right now, I'd say 40 minutes of the documentary are fully edited, sexy, and just about the proudest piece of work I've ever done. But I'm still in the midst of trying to make those last 30 minutes feel right, and I need to take my time with that because the "theme" that I'm trying to express by the end of it is genuinely really important to me.

I think at this point, it's better to just assume that my channel is gonna be on hiatus until the video is out. I'm not dead. I'm not burnt out. I'm not quitting Youtube. You don't have to flood my DM's or comments asking me when's the next upload. I just really really REALLY care about the topic of this video, and I stopped caring a long time ago if that'll make other people upset at me or not. Because at the end of the day, I don't owe anyone anything. I will never make decisions for my Youtube channel based on what other people want me to do.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT THOUGH, to compensate, I made a cute lil' trailer of what to expect:

https://youtu.be/1AWmfaoHLOc?si=aWEMtcw1mG-GGmCO

Question #2,

*This part's just gonna be me venting and being fully honest about the state of my YT channel*

NOW, in response to this second question...

To be absolutely transparent with you guys here, I have been doing some REALLY hard self-reflecting after making that last Manhwa Recommendation video. I've said this before on  a couple streams and on twitter, but that video was the first time ever where I genuinely felt like I had lost myself in what I wanted to be as a Youtuber...

The reason why I ever got into making videos in the first place was because I wanted to have an outlet where I could tell cool/interesting/funny stories and hopefully form some kind of a discussion out of it. I have never been the type of person to ever check analytics or sub count or anything like that, but the one thing that REALLY mattered to me on Youtube was the comment section. Whenever I try and determine if I've done a good job on a video, I always try to make a judgement based on what the comments are like. If people are making jokes, sharing their own insight on something, or venting their own personal experience with something, then I know I've done my job.

But if every comment is like:

"You should read ___"

"Cool vid"

"L take."

"W take."

Then I feel like I've just wasted my time.

And I've noticed ESPECIALLY after that last Manhwa video, that I was inviting a certain type of audience onto my channel that was on there for the wrong reasons, and that's on me. I realized that, because of the way I was presenting myself in these videos, all my comments went from being funny, honest, and personal, to now usually going along the lines of "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SAID ___ WAS GOOD/BAD."

And I hated making that Manhwa video. It was probably the first time where I felt like I was making something for other people as opposed to something that I really wanted to do. And I've decided that I just don't ever want to make another recommendation video of anything.

I didn't make a Youtube channel 2 years ago to be "Mr. Manga Reviewer" guy. If you've ever seen any of my videos, you'll know that I've always found myself being WAY more interested in the story that happened outside of a manga anyhow. And I didn't make a channel to be a reviewer or to pretend like I'm smart enough to hyper-analyze anything. I really just wanna talk about cool shit and make cool 3D shit with it. And I'm done pretending like that isn't the case. I'm done trying to care about what other people think of me or how it could possibly affect my chances of making a career off of Youtube.

Which is why after this Inoue doc is done, I'll be making my first ever video that's non-manga, non-anime, non-anything related to Japanese media. I just don't care anymore about trying to box myself in or fear the idea of making this whole Youtube thing come crashing down. I think I'm perfectly okay with that being the case as long as I get to just do whatever I want and make the coolest shit possible on this god foresaken website.

.

Having said all of these schizophrenic ventings though, I really do wanna tell all of you that I'm eternally grateful for anyone that's stuck around here in any way shape or form. Whether it's been for 3 months or for 1 day, it means the fucking world to me that there's people out there wanna help out with this channel. And if you disagree with what I've said in this post and do not want to support this page anymore, then that's totally okay.

Once this Inoue doc is finished, I'll put a cap of 2-3 months on my upload schedule because I really do wanna go back to making more videos again.

And if you have any thoughts or disagreements on what I've said, I'd be super interesting in hearing what you have to say. Anyone that's willing to pay to support me has a right to voice their opinion. So feel free to go for it either on the comments here or on the discord.

-Ah Lecks