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魔法少女の落日ー第２話ー (Patreon)

Published:
2024-09-11 13:40:03
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:
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Content

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Y9zroqHvMDBbHz3Xxex8ZWrhZt_BOAkx?usp=drive_link

Files

Previews only

Comments

Max Foster

I am so glad that Series continued, can't wait to see Baiser breaking all the girls.

Shiki

You are making Magia baiser but should be Magia Baiser. It is her villain name so. And some of names seem incorrect. Like page 15 Suijin? You mean Minakami? Hanabishi was correct but the other one Tendo is Tenkawa in case you were using their surnames. Also on episode 1 I pointed some mistakes and you didn't see it seems. You ended to repeat same mistake on episode 2 calling Magia Azul when is Magia Azure from the official source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gushing_over_Magical_Girls I am sorry to point you out on this but since I like your works I also like to see things right with correct names. You can use that site to follow their names in case you add new ones on story :) -------------- Now on this episode... I liked that she was forced to go naked all the time but now at the end someone else found her so I wonder what will change from here. I had the idea you would make her a pervert to stay naked all the time suffering all type of humiliations and of course she would embrace it lol. That is part of what give her some power too so hehe xD Cheers and keep the good work!

basenokim
>>149270581

I fixed it. Sorry. I was very busy and in a difficult situation. So there was a mistranslation. Please understand.

Shiki
>>149270581

I hope everything is alright now! You fixed episode 2 but you forgot the episode 1 fixes for consistency. If you are busy take your time and fix later. On other note, I can see you improved overall as I barely had to point out things in the other work so keep doing your best! And the art quality also improved a lot! I may sound annoying keep pointing out errors or mistranslations but... I do it because I try help you to fix things so others when see your works feel more satisfied reading your works and who knows you get more subs that way! Once again, keep your good work! :)