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慎二の世界－カルデア征服編ー第2話－ (Patreon)

Published:
2024-03-06 11:00:05
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:
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Content

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GblSghIlOFVAWSJ0ttUKOJoflQMWASm7?usp=drive_link

Files

Previews only

Comments

HFTK

The sex part is too short, I hope it will be longer in the next episode and their boobs will become bigger as soon as possible

Shiki

So this episode was the preparation for what is coming next ^^ Might have lacked action but the build up was good. Following episodes will be fun! Let me correct some lines since you fixed Mash name on this episode 2. On episode 1 page 26 has Mashu instead Mash. Now for current episode there are parts I think could get better. I didn't put the full lines in some. Other asked Japanese word to compare and find what looks better so if you dont mind write the kanji or hiragana on those please. Of course I am not telling you to change all this if you don't want or agree. Like I said before my mother tongue it isn't English ^^ (if you liked then I don't mind doing for episode 1 and following episodes) Page 4: if Mash line For Gudado will be Sempai then the correct should be "Sempai and the Chaldea staff...?" Page 5: Repeating same thing feels weird so should be "So let's have some fun training in your room today Ritsuka-chan... Yes...? Yes..." Page 6: "Sen-Senpai? What are you trying to do...? page 7: "I sneaked in... I shouldn't be doing this... I'm sorry Senpai..." Page 12: "We just need to tell her that it's training and she follows us..." Page 13: "What should we do...?! She found out!" Page 14: I think the meaning would be something like: "Seems everyone is having fun...? Right...? Mash...?" Page 15: This deviant! Seems to be something else... what it is in Japanese in that line? Page 17: "Then I will spare your life!" Page 37: "...by the Mystic Code..." (just the last part) Page 46: "You are not cut out to be a Master after all... How about you become Chaldea's exclusive toilet? If you do then I'll stop... ...There's no way I can do that!" Page 47: Oh really...? Then die! So spare me please...!" Page 49: "Why I can't you...?" Page 55: "Like Senpai, I will become Chaldea's exclusive toilet too! So spare me please!" Page 56: "... masters and servants..." and at the end missing s ."....toilets..." Page 58: "What you guys should be doing is not combat training but how to please men!" Page 61: sex workers? I think should be something else. What it is in Japanese?

Shiki
>>131667244

LOL it is ok. Well I did in case you wanted to improve the text but if you don't want then those pages need to change at least: 5, 17, 47, 55, 56 and 58. 5 and 58 have repeat of the same thing but they can get omitted like that. 17, 47, 55 the meaning is they don't want to die so this is why they are begging to spare their lives (to not die) than save when being in trouble. 56 has a mistake, has savants instead servants and in the end they are 2 so plural for toilets. Have a nice day and good luck on the continuation of the story.