EARLY ACCESS // self portrait (Patreon)

It’s been a long time since I drew a self portrait! I’ve definitely been through a lot since then. My health took a nosedive and I got sick so many times, and I also went through a really rough time for my mental health which led to many aspects of my life coming to a standstill. I even had a flare-up of my arm injury which I hadn’t had for years - It took a whole month to recover from that. It was a humbling experience but weirdly enough, I’m grateful for all of it. It led me to making some much-needed changes that have made me a happier person overall. I would have never been able to figure out how to get there without these experiences! 

I feel like this self portrait is a more honest one than previous ones I did. As with my previous ones, this one was drawn from life with a mirror as my reference. I started out just drawing myself the way I always do, but I felt like the painting was lacking expressiveness. I usually feel quite tense about painting myself because I have a really conflicted relationship with my own appearance and I could really see that in my first attempt. So I started over and tried to make one that showed more of who I am right now - tired, but willing to look myself directly in the eye. 

I also had an urge to leave my left eye as just a dot, but I am not sure about that one. I think it has a bit of a creepy effect that I didn’t entirely intend. So in the images, you can find the dot-eye version as well as the original self portrait that I abandoned! I hope you like these!