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Demon lord ch3 sketch p21-26 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-12-11 20:04:28
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Alright, here's a demon lord draft update. I think it will be quite long so i might put on poll if you guy want to coloring the first 30 pages first or continue with the sketch draft. As always thank you for helping me with proof reading and other stuff.

Thanlk you again for supporting this hopeless artist. I wish you guy the best.

Files

Comments

StarGazer

"You thought it was the Demon Lord, but it was I. Gilda!"

ChaosOverlordZ

Human form Gilda continues to be rather cute.

M

Damn! Sounds like it'd could be over 60 pages. I don't blame you if you plan on a break after that. Will this series continue after or we returning to Re: Mercury?

trigger_portal_cleanser

Well, having finally found myself in a position where I can provide proofreading services again, I find I’ve missed 20 pages of text! Alas, I probably won’t do them—seems enough people have already assisted you with them—but I’ll see if I can keep up from here on out. Hope you have a merry Christmas and/or wonderful holiday period. Format: Original quote ↴ Modified quote with [notes] ↴ Modified quote without notes. Notes shown in [square brackets] Multiple possible modifications shown in {curly brackets / braces} ―――――――――― [Page 21] The Present "Hey, rock!" ↴ “Hey, rock… [Recommend you use an ellipsis to indicate this sentence continues.]” ↴ “Hey, rock…” "Ekk! Get away from me you meanie!" ↴ “Eek! [‘eek’, as in a scream, is usually spelt with 2 ‘e’s and 1 ‘k’, unless extended.] Get away from me, you meanie! [Comma before addressing.]” ↴ “Eek! Get away from me, you meanie! "Meet hammer!" ↴ “…Meet hammer! [Recommend you use an ellipsis to indicate this is a continuing sentence.]” ↴ “…Meet hammer! "You're quite resiliant for an archdemon spawns." ↴ “You’re quite resilient for {an archdemon spawn / archdemon spawns}. [Is he referring directly to the one he’s fighting (the former) or the group in general (the latter)?]” ↴ “You’re quite resilient for {an archdemon spawn / archdemon spawns}.” "Heh heh, thank! We are super duper tought!" ↴ “Heh heh, thanks! We’re super-duper tough! [typo]” ↴ “Heh heh, thanks! We’re super-duper tough!” "Their strenght are no match again my swordmanship but their stone body can take a lot of punishment." ↴ “Their strength is [‘strength’ is uncountable; ‘is’ not ‘are’.] no match against my swordsmanship [typo, extra ‘s’ needed after ‘sword’.], though [While ‘but’ is appropriate, ‘though’ is probably more apt. ‘but’ carries a connotation that the following clause somehow negates the previous clause, whereas here it’s less negative and more of a follow on.] their stone bodies [Plural, you’re using ‘their’.] can take a lot of punishment.” ↴ “Their strength is no match against my swordsmanship, though their stone bodies can take a lot of punishment.” "Tee hee, you paladin jerk can't ger rid of us that easily~."↴ “Teehee, you paladin jerks [Plural] can’t get rid of us that easily~.” ↴ “Teehee, you paladin jerks can’t get rid of us that easily~.” "Wahhh! That hammer guy is so scaary!" ↴ “Wahhh! That hammer guy is so {scary / scaaary / sca~ary}!” [I can’t tell if the double ‘a’ is a typo. In general, avoid single duplications because it’s not obvious whether they’re typos or not. Either use 3 or more characters, an additional punctuation mark, or correct it.] ↴ “Wahhh! That hammer guy is so {scary / scaaary / sca~ary}!” "This is all a mere diversion. They goal must be the artifact." ↴ “{This is all a mere diversion / This is but a mere diversion}, their goal must the artifact.” "Leo, I want you to take your squad and secure the vault. As soon as Valic's group show up you'll headed there immedietly." ↴ “Leo, I want you to take your squad and go secure the vault. As soon as Valic’s group shows up, you’ll be heading [Hasn’t happened yet.] there immediately.” ↴ “Leo, I want you to take your squad and go secure the vault. As soon as Valic’s group shows up, you’ll be heading there immediately.” "Huh, I'm not a fan of leaving you here alone, sir" ↴ “Huh, I’m not a fan of leaving you here alone, sir.” "Me and Vice Commader can handle ourself." ↴ “Me and the Vice-Commander can handle ourselves [Plural, the two of them].” ↴ “Me and the Vice-Commander can handle ourselves.” [Page 22] "Wahh! You jerk!" "I have to ask. What exacly are those old junk in the vault?" ↴ “I have to ask, what exactly is that old junk [‘Junk’ is uncountable, therefore ‘that’, not ‘those’.] in the vault?” ↴ “I have to ask, what exactly is that old junk in the vault?” "The last time I was there. All I saw was a bunch of broken scrap metal." ↴ “The last time I was there all I saw was a bunch of scrap [Scrap is, by definition, broken. You can include, I guess, but it’s a bit redundant.] metal.” ↴ “That last time I was there all I saw was a bunch of scrap metal.” "The record are mostly gone. All I know is that it's date back to the Third Demon War and the objects is very corrupted." ↴ “The records are mostly gone; [Rare semicolon moment. The 2 clauses are independent (they can stand alone without each other) but are directly related. You can use a period here, but it’ll feel clunky.] all I know is that it dates back to the Third Demon War and the objects are [Plural] highly [‘Very’ is a generic modifier. Consider ‘highly’ instead] corrupted.” ↴ “The records are mostly gone; all I know is that it dates back to the Third Demon War and the objects are highly corrupted.” "So an evil old junk?" ↴ “So, evil old junk?” "I don't care what it is but we can't have it fall into the demon hand." ↴ “I don’t care what it is, but we can’t have it fall into the demons’ [We’re referring to the demons as a collective here, so plural. But it’s still a possessive, so the apostrophe gets bumped to the end.] hands.” ↴ “I don’t care what it is, but we can’t have it fall into the demons’ hands.” "Sir Leo! Commander!" "Ronald! You just in time!" ↴ “Ronald! You’re just in time!” "Gah! That's hot!" "Huff! Huff! Apology for our late arrival. The demon has destroy the main bridge." ↴ “Huff! Huff! Apologies for our late arrival. The demons have [Plural] destroyed [Past tense, it’s happened.] the main bridge.” ↴ “Huff! Huff! Apologies for our late arrival. The demons have destroyed the main bridge.” "Back away, demon." "The Vice Commander is evacuating the civilian and should be here shortly!" ↴ “The Vice-Commander is evacuating the civilians and should be here shortly!” "Even the keep is crawling with demon now." ↴ “Even the keep is crawling with demons now.” "Make haste, Leo." "That arcdemon must be close to the vault by now." ↴ “That archdemon must be close to the vault by now.” "If all else fail bury it. Collapse an entire vault if you must." ↴ “If all else fails, bury it. Collapse the [It’s a specific vault.] entire vault if you must.” ↴ “If all else fails, bury it. Collapse the entire vault if you must.” "...Understood! I shall return with tale of my glorius triumph! Promise me that you stay alive to hear it!" ↴ “…Understood! I shall return with tale of my glorious triumph! Promise me that you’ll stay alive to hear it!” "Just focus on your task, Leo!" "We're heading to the underground vault!" "Wha..!? What about the Commander?" "He can take care of himself"↴ “He can take care of himself.” [Page 23] "Well well, look like he put up the boundry." ↴ “Well well, looks like he put up a boundary.” "Giggle" "Heh heh, that's soo annoying" ↴ “Heh heh, that’s {so / sooo / so~} [Again, remove, 3 or more, or use a symbol. A repetition of 2 leaves you in no-man’s land.] annoying.” ↴ “Heh heh, that’s {so / sooo / so~} annoying.” "Naughty paladin~ He want to have us all for himslf." ↴ “Naughty paladin~ He wants to have us all for himself.” "Party pooper~" "Girls, it's seem like we have to teaching out old boss a lesson." ↴ “Girls, it seems like we have to teach our old boss a lesson.” "To see my mens twisted like this." ↴ “To see my men [‘men’ is already the plural form.] twisted like this” ↴ “To see my men twisted like this” "As paladin and your commander. It's my duty to put you all to rest." ↴ “as a paladin and as your commander, it is my duty to put you all to rest.” "Come demon! You're facing the Goddess's finest!" ↴ “Come, demons! You’re facing the Goddess’s finest!” Saint Prisilia Fortress Underground Shaft Elevator [The current typesetting is a bit awkward because the lines are oddly split. Treat it like an address, each line should be a single unique location, and that location should only take up a single line. i.e.,] Saint Prisilia Fortress Underground Shaft Elevator [Further, it’s an ‘elevator shaft’ (a shaft purposely for elevators), not ‘shaft elevator’ (an elevator purposely for shafts?).] Saint Prisilia Fortress Underground Elevator Shaft [Page 24] "Keep up my fearless comarade! The epic battle await us in the abyss below!" ↴ “Keep up, my fearless comrades! The epic battle awaits us in the abyss below!” "Off course that archdemon took the elevator!" ↴ “Of course that archdemon took the elevator!” "Curse that wrenching demon!" ↴ “Cure that wrench demon!” "Huff! Huff! Are you OK, Gramp?" ↴ “Huff! Huff! Are you {OK / ok / okay} [The word ‘OK’ is a weird one. Look: there’s no correct form, and you’re free to pick whatever variant of it you like most. For texts like this, I find ‘okay’ is my preferred form, but entirely up to you.], Gramps? [‘Gramps’ is the more common form of this nickname.]” ↴ “Huff! Huff! Are you {OK / ok /okay}, Gramps?” "O-hohoho don't worry. This old bone still able to handle a few flight of stair." ↴ “O-hohoho, don’t worry. These old bones are still able to handle a few flights of stairs.” "Hey, Robard." "What?" "Didn't you said 'Demon Lord is dead'." ↴ “Didn’t you say [A complex English rule that I don’t want to get into. Simply put, in questions the past is phrased in present tense. For more information search ‘Do Support’.] the ‘Demon Lord is dead?’” [Another complex English rule, does punctuation go inside quotations? And the answer is: Go ask someone else. Really, the answer depends on what style guide you follow. I tend to following ‘logical quotations’ in which punctuation is only included if the quote itself included it, but the so-called ‘American Style’, which is probably the one you’re more likely to encounter, puts them inside (as I’ve done here).] ↴ “Didn’t you say the ‘Demon Lord is dead?’” "'It's just a bunch of feral demon'." ↴ “’It’s just a bunch of feral demons.’” "Grrr! You don't have to rub it my face, shorty!" "Wha...! How dare you! I'm small because I got an elf blood in my family!" ↴ “Wha…! How dare you! I’m small because I have elf blood in my family!” "You can't blame all your problem on your damn elf role play!" ↴ “You can’t blame all your problems on your damn elf roleplay!” "Role play!? You take that back!" ↴ “Roleplay!? You take that back!” "Huff! Huff! Huff!" "Are you ok, Prince?" "I'm OK I just need to catch my breath a little." ↴ “I’m {OK / ok / okay}. I just need to catch my breath a little.” "Oh right, this will be your first time facing an archdemon." ↴ “Oh right. This’ll be your first time facing an archdemon.” "Ha, I can't blame you ." ↴ “Ha, I can’t blame you.” "You got one hell of the first week as paladin, Renald." ↴ “You got one hell of a first week as a paladin, Renald.” "Just look on the bright side. Its not like we're going to face the Demon Lord." ↴ “Just look on the bright side: It’s not like we’re going to face the Demon Lord.” "Robard don't jinx us." ↴ “Robard, don’t jinx us.” "Ignore him. Just take a deep breath and remember you traning." ↴ “Ignore him. Just take a deep breath and remember your training.” "This is it. The vault is beyond this door." ↴ “This is it. The vault is just beyond these doors.” "Paladin! Brace yourself. We're facing an archdemon!" ↴ “Paladins! Brace yourselves. We’re facing an archdemon!” [Page 25] "Heya! I've been waiting for you guy!" ↴ “Heya! I’ve been waiting for you guys!” "Great job getting past my bestie! Just as I expect from my fellow paladin!" ↴ “Great job getting past my bestie! Just as I expected from my fellow paladins!” "Well, shit it's her." ↴ “Well shit, it’s her.” "Hello Gilda. Fancy meeting you here." ↴ “Hello, Gilda. Fancy meeting you here.” "I'm assume you're our a rchdemon?" ↴ “I’m assuming you’re our archdemon?” "Hmm, if I told you that I got lost and end up here would you believe me?" ↴ “Hmm. Would you believe me if I told you that I got lost and ended up here?” [More natural sentence order.] ↴ “Hmm. Would you believe me if I told you that I got lost and ended up here? "I guess not." ↴ “Guess not.” [In casual speech ‘I’ can often be omitted.] ↴ “Guess not.” "I knew it. Ever since I've met you I aways felt like something if off." ↴ “I knew it. Ever since I met you, I always felt like something was off.” "That's why I always piss off when you around." ↴ “This is why I always pissed off when you were around.” [Page 26] "Aww I wish we can be friend, Yara"↴ “Aww. I wish we could be friends, Yara.” "I guess there's no point putting on a mask anymore." ↴ “Guess there’s no point putting on a mask any longer.” "Heh heh heh" "Now for a proper introduction." "I'm Archdemon Golem..." "Gilda~!" "Nice to meet you all."

K'tchoo le M

I wish i will be able to draw like you one Day ! Nice story as always !

A. H. W.

At this point this is turning into a full webcomics lol. Good to see more updates!

Arthur Yeung

@ibenz009 As always, another fantastic work! Here are the grammatical changes, as marked in uppercase: Page 21: Robard: Hey, Rock! Gilda Clone 1: EEK! Get away from me , you meanie! Robard: Meet hammer! Leo: You’re quite RESILIENT for DEMON SPAWN/HELLSPAWN. Gilda Clone 2: TEE-HEE, THANKS! WE’RE SUPER-DUPER TOUGH! Leo: Their STRENGTH IS no match AGAINST my swordsmanship. But their STONE BODIES can take a lot of punishment. Gilda Clone 2: TEE-HEE! You paladin JERKS can’t GET rid of us that easily~! Commander: This is all a mere diversion. THEIR goal must be the artifact. As soon as VALIC’S/VELRIC’S GROUP SHOWS UP, YOU’LL HEAD THERE IMMEDIATELY. Leo: HEH, I’m not a fan of leaving you here alone, sir. Commander: THE VICE-COMMANDER AND I can handle OURSELVES. Page 22: Robard: I MUST ASK, what exactly IS that old junk in the vault? The last time I was there, all I saw was a bunch of broken scrap metal. The records are mostly gone. All I know is that it DATES all the way back to the third demon war, and that THESE objects are very corrupted. So, IS IT AN EVIL OLD RELIC? I don’t care what it is, but we can’t have it fall into DEMONIC HANDS. Reynard: APOLOGIES for our late arrival! The DEMONS HAVE DESTROYED the main bridge! The vice-commander is evacuating the CIVILIANS and should be here shortly! Commander: Make haste, Leo. That ARCHDEMON must be close to the vault by now. If all else FAILS, bury it. Collapse THE entire vault , if you must. Leo: … Understood! I shall return with TALES of my GLORIOUS triumph! Promise me that YOU’LL stay alive to hear it! Page 23: Gilda Clone 1: Well well, LOOKS LIKE he put up A BARRIER. Gilda Clone 2: HEHE, that’s soo annoying ! Gilda Clone 3: Naughty paladin~! He WANTS to have us all for HIMSELF! Gilda Clone 4: Party Pooper! Dani: Girls, IT SEEMS like we have to TEACH our old boss a lesson. Commander: To see my MEN twisted like this. As A Paladin and your commander , it’s my duty to put you all to rest. Come, DEMONS! You’re facing the GODDESS’ FINEST! SAINT PRISCILLA’S FORTRESS - UNDERGROUND ELEVATOR SHAFT Page 24: Leo: Keep up , my fearless COMRADES! The epic battle AWAITS us in the abyss below! Robard: OF COURSE that Archdemon took the elevator! Curse that WENCHEL demon! *HUFF, HUFF* Are you OKAY, GRAMPS? Velric: OH-HOHOHO! Don’t worry! THIS OLD BONE IS STILL ABLE TO/CAN HANDLE a few FLIGHTS of STAIRS. Yara: Hey, Robard! ROBARD: What? Yara: Didn’t you SAY, “THE demon lord is dead?” “That it’s just a bunch of feral DEMONS?” Robard: Grr! You don’t have to rub it IN my face, shorty! Yara: I’m small because I POSSESS ELVEN BLOOD IN MY LINEAGE! Robard: You can’t blame all your PROBLEMS on your damn ELVEN ROLEPLAY! Yara: ROLEPLAY!? Are you OKAY,, prince? Reynald: I’m OKAY, I just need to catch my breath a little. Robard: Ha, I can’t blame you. You got one hell of A first week as A paladin, Reynald. Just look on the bright side - it’s not like we’re going to face the Demon Lord. Yara: Robard, don’t jinx us! Ignore him - just take a deep breath and remember YOUR training. Reynald: PALADINS! Brace YOURSELVES! Page 25: Gilda: HEY! I’VE been WAITING for YOU GUYS! Great job getting past my BESTIES! Just as I expect from my fellow PALADINS! Robard: Well shit, it’s her. Leo: Hello , Gilda. Velric: I ASSUME/I’M ASSUMING you’re our archdemon? Gilda: Hmm, if I told you that I got lost and ENDED up here, would you believe me? Yara: Ever since I MET YOU, I ALWAYS FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS OFF. That’s why I’M ALWAYS PISSED OFF WHEN YOU’RE AROUND. Page 26: Gilda: Aww … I wish we could be FRIENDS, Yara. Now, for a proper introduction … I am the GOLEM ARCHDEMON …

Nepisa

Shaping up to be very interesting! As usual, here's my notes: page 1: your're quite resili[e]nt for [] archdemon spawns. thank[s]! we are super duper though[]! their strength [is] no match [for] my sword[s]manship the[ir] goal must be the artifact. group show[s] up you'll head[] there immedi[a]tely. [the vice commander and I] can handle oursel[ves]. page 2: what exactly [is that] old junk the record[s] are mostly gone. all I know is that it[] date[s] back so [] evil old junk? we can't have it fall into[] demon hand[s]. the demon[s (probably?) have] destroyed the main bridge is evacuating the civilian[s] is crawling with demon[s] now if all else fail[s,] bury it. collapse [the] entire vault if you must. return with tale[s] of my glorious triumph! page 3: (I don't understand what you mean with the bound(a?)ry part - is it a last stand? or just that he defends alone?) he want[s] to have us all for him[se]lf it[] seems like we have to teach[] our to see my men twisted like this.[..] come, demon[s]! you're facing the goddess'[] finest! (I probably would just call it "underground elevator", unless you want to literally talk about its shaft, then it would be "underground elevator shaft") page 4: keep up my fearless comrade[s]! the epic battle await[s] us in [these] old bone[s are] still able didn't you sa[y] "[the] demon lord is dead". "it's just a bunch of feral demon[s]" because I got [] elf blood all your problem[s] on your damn elf role[]play! role[]play!? paladin[s]! brace yoursel[ves]! (if there's multiple paladins, sorry I don't remember their roles at the moment) page 5: i've been waiting for you guy[s]! getting past my bestie[s]! (assuming plural) from my fellow paladin[s]! (multiple again) a[]rchdemon (awkward linesplit) and end[ed] up here like something [was] off always piss[ed] off page 6: I wish we [could] be friend[s]