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Open Thread: Patreon Mailbag (for November 2022) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-10-31 02:55:35
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hi Patrons!

One or more of our next few After Dark episodes will likely feature listener mail. Have any questions/suggested topics? Let us know in the comments below.

Thanks, as always, for your support!

Comments

Monique M.

Hey guys - I have a somewhat awkward personal story to share that I was hoping to get your thoughts on. I'm a regular listener to your podcast and recently heard Devindra discuss his decision to get a vasectomy. I am married and have been responsible for birth control measures for the majority of our relationship. We decided not to have children early on. Lately, I've been concerned about possible side effects and hormonal changes due to long-term birth control usage, but it honestly never occurred to me to ask my husband to do something like a vasectomy. I was so inspired by Devindra's positive attitude and willingness to do that for his wife. So, the other night, I happened to broach this topic with my husband - I told him about the concerns I'd been experiencing and asked if he'd be willing to consider a vasectomy. He seemed startled, considered for a minute, and then said he'd do it if I was willing to "drop a few pounds." It's true that I'm not the most svelte, and have expressed a desire to lose some weight recently. But it felt like this was not an appropriate time or manner to bring up this topic, especially since it was posed as some sort of "quid pro quo," bargaining scenario. When I told him how uncomfortable I was, he told me he was just worried about my health. To be clear, he did agree to get the vasectomy and said he was sorry if he hurt my feelings. However, this entire experience did not transpire as I'd imagined and it has left me feeling rather hurt and disappointed. I find myself wishing I hadn't brought it up at all. I know I can be overly sensitive at times, so I don't know if I'm overreacting. I know you all are not advice columnists - but I truly value your opinions. AITA? Also, I love you guys and, no, I don't blame you for being the inadvertent catalyst of my current predicament. Cheers.

Lawson S
>>95029633

I know you are not asking another random Patron this question, but for what it is worth from a stranger who is a husband who has messed up with his wife my own fair share... you are one thousand percent NOT the asshole in this situation. You asked for a conversation about family planning, and in turn he made you feel bad about how you look. That sounds extremely hurtful and I'm sorry he reacted that way. He REALLY messed up. Also, "Sorry, if I hurt your feelings" is not the same as "I apologize for the hurtful and wrong thing that I said/did." You deserve the latter. I hope you find a way to talk it through so that he can truly hear you and realize that what he said was not okay. Wishing the best for you and your relationship.

SJ Lucero

What's your favorite free/ad-supported streaming service (ex. Freevee, Tuni, Pluto)? Do you use it to watch certain types of movies or shows? I've really enjoyed Tubi recently since it has a bunch of Asian movies not available elsewhere. I recently watched several Park Chan-wook movies I had not seen or not seen in a long time and not otherwise available on the Netflix, Prime, et al.