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Buffy 6x11 (Extended) - Gone (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-28 18:00:03
Edited:
2024-07-16 23:08:18
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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reaction link: click here. 

miss buffandra i love you, even when u are invisible <3 this episode is so funny i love it SO much!!! except pls bring back tara next ep or i will riot.

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Comments

Girl4Music

When it comes to addiction, and specifically the first stage of the recovery process, one of the worst things you can do as a supporter of a person in their recovery is to pass judgement on them for anything bad that happens. This includes accusations and jumping to conclusions without any evidence - just based on your own pre-conceptions or pre-assumptions of that person. When Willow realizes that Xander has come to verbally attack her for doing something he believes she’s doing, she immediately retaliates to him by getting defensive and then attacking back. It’s something we’ve seen her do a few times in the season so far. However, this time it’s uncalled for and she has all the right to defend herself since it certainly wasn’t her fault what has happened. As Willow said - it’s convenient to blame her because she’s the only one, to their knowledge, that messes around with magic that causes bad things to happen and Xander and Anya assumes that it is magic that is what has made Buffy invisible. And while I do understand their point of view - that it would likely be Willow that has caused Buffy’s invisibleness… given the fact she’s swore off magic and gone completely cold turkey with it in the last episode, it is extremely disrespectful and discriminatory to automatically assume it’s her doing. It doesn’t happen very often - but this time - I’m on Willow’s side. While I don’t think she has the best way of arguing her case here - being passive-aggressive and then storming off out the door rather than communicating calmly and honestly - I think she was very right to call Xander out for being a judgemental prick. And if she knew it was Anya that originally made the suggestion to clue Xander in - she would be pissed. ‘Cause she doesn’t like Anya as it is. So she’d be less friendly than usual with her if she had found out Anya was prejudiced. She’d have some choice words for her, to be sure. What Willow did in swearing off magic for good was very difficult and very courageous considering how reliant she was on it. And she doesn’t need her fair-weather friends to come at her when she’s trying very hard to cope without it. She already feels guilty enough as it is for what happened with the car wreckage and seriously injuring Dawn. It won’t help any case to just come to that conclusion on coincidence. ‘Cause it is a coincidence that someone else is messing around with magic at the same time she’s begun recovering from an overusing and abusing of it. And it makes sense why she takes the initiative to be the one to figure out how and why and where it’s happening. She wants to clear her name. She wants to clear her name because she doesn’t want to be accused for doing something she’s entirely innocent of doing. And she doesn’t want her friends to lose faith in her efforts to kick the habit. No, I’m totally on Willow’s side for this particular situation. I believe she’s in the right to get upset about it. I just don’t believe she had the best method of doing so. But that’s totally understandable when she’s upset. There’s no arrogance or entitlement showing here. She’s just venting her emotions because she’s chosen to do something that’s going to be a real hardship for her, and Xander and Anya, and hell… even Dawn can deal with the inconveniences and the coincidences. What’s most aggravating is how Xander’s saying how he isn’t getting mad, he isn’t blaming, he understands relapse is apart of recovery,… and yet proceeds to treat Willow as if she’s already failed at it. It is flat out passing judgement on her what he does in this scene and he doesn’t get my defence this time. She does. When watching this episode, I feel very proud of what Willow accomplishes in being able to get through the day without being dependent on magic. Especially with what the events of the day call for her to do. She successfully exposes The Trio and clears her name in one fell swoop - without the use of any magic. And you can see that there’s instances where she’s tempted to do so… but she has the willpower to resist. She’s strong, she’s brave and she’s powerful with or without magic. But the very fact she does what she does in this episode without using it once when she has spent pretty much her entire existence since developing her magical abilities thinking she’s useless and valueless without it… I beam with pride. She’s an inspiration to recovering addicts everywhere.

Girl4Music

“If feels weird that we can’t see her expression” It’s kinda the point. We’re not supposed to see Buffy be Buffy. Be her childish, giddy nonchalant self because we know it’s just a cover for her depression. The director must have had a field day with this episode though. Filming random spots to indicate to us where the action is. If it wasn’t for Buffy doing silly things with random objects, we wouldn’t have a clue. So it works. It works for the storytelling and the execution of the directing. I’m glad you picked that up about it because it is clever the way it’s directed. Really well done by David Fury.

Girl4Music

“I feel like it’s worse when you’re not aware that what you’re doing is fucked up.” Totally agree. That’s why I think what Willow does with taking sexual advantage of Tara is extremely wrong and horrific. Because she doesn’t even realize that that is what she is actually doing with putting her under that ‘forget’ spell and then being physically intimate with her the very next day. “It’s bothering me a little how their no’s aren’t really no’s.” Yeah, you feel discomforted by the Buffy and Spike stuff this episode because Buffy straight up sexually assaults Spike. He said ‘No’ and she just continued violating him. And with the Willow and Tara situation, Tara can’t even give true full consent even though she’s the one that asks Willow to go down on her. It’s not her true emotional state. That’s being altered via the memory erasing of the fight that they had where Tara was so angry she would have never consented to physical intimacy of any kind, let alone straight up asked for sex. It’s RED FLAGS all over this season with the whole non-consensual situations. And I absolutely agree. It’s fucked up.

Claire Eyles

It's not the right thing to do on Xander's part, but it is understandable. Unlike what we've seen so far of Willow's recovery, I tried and failed multiple attempts to get clean, before I actually got clean (plus I was a really horrible person to be around as an addict). I did understand when I really set my mind to getting clean that not everyone was going to believe me, or even bother supporting me after I'd sung the same tune umpteen dozen times over & this was just more rendition. I mean yeah it hurt when friends just rolled their eyes at me and went, "Yeah, whatever", or someone misplaced their wallet, or some money and all accusations went straight to me (leading to embarrassing conversations where I had to explain how I paid for my previous habit, that didn't involve having to steal from people), but I did get where they were coming from and I was prepared for it. I'm not saying Willow's reaction was wrong (been there, done that myself), or that Xander was completely in the right, but navigating and renegotiating friendships after addiction can be tricky. The part of this episode I really love, and relate to a lot, is when Willow initially gets defensive about how she tracked down the scene of the crime, when Xander first shows up, and then he tells her he's not jumping to any conclusions, and they both end up apologising & then working together. Change the setting & the actual dialogue of the conversation & that could've been me and any one of my friends during the early stages of my own recovery. For a supernatural show from the 90s, I still think the handling of Willow's addiction arc is some of the best I've seen.

Claire Eyles

And yeah the scenes where Willow resists the urge to use magic was hella inspirational to watch as a recovering addict. Like genuine happy vibes, and "You go girl, hell yeah you don't need that shit, you got this" feelings going on watching that when it first aired. :D

Girl4Music

I completely understand, don’t get me wrong. I just side with Willow for once on this one. Normally, I side with Xander. So actually it’s quite a nice thing for me. Shows me that they’ve all got flaws and conflicts because they’re human and they’re real representations of the complexity of the human condition. Believe me when I say that it’s all good for me to be able to critique the characters.

Girl4Music

I thought that she would be a big inspiration. That’s great to learn from somebody that is a recovering addict.

Preaching to the Horse's Mouth

As usual Spike is the one who knows exactly what's happening with people's emotions. He saw what was going on with Buffy even if he couldn't...see what was going on with Buffy.

Claire Eyles

I can only speak for myself, but yeah seeing Willow take those first steps towards getting clean, when I was doing that myself, it was pretty awesome. And yeah I do agree with you on the Xander and Willow stuff as well, especially considering the length of their friendship. Btw, just to let you know whilst I do use the term 'recovering addict' to talk about myself back then, I've actually considered myself fully recovered for some years now. :)

Girl4Music

Nicely put. It just goes to show who really sees us when we’re invisible. Spike always sees Buffy and she always sees him. It’s not so much a romance thing as it is a comfort thing. Confidants. They’re able to be that for each other even if one of them is soulless and the other is depressed. There’s much in common.

Ray D

I find there to be some decently funny lines in this, “well, she’s gay but we don’t gay” always makes me laugh but for the most part this episode is a miss for me. I get that The point is that Buffy uses the invisibility to act out of character but she’s really pretty mean spirited in a way that I don’t really like for her. The CPS lady was just doing her job and Buffy might have gotten her fired with what she did. Not cool Buff.

Girl4Music

The thing is that she isn’t acting out of character. She’s acting like herself but absolving herself from her responsibilities and duties. Ignoring what she needs to do to do what she wants to do (and who). But she’s very much being Buffy.

rattusprat

Do we think Dawn *might* be in her rebellious phase, sneaking in when its dark rather than going straight home after school? Are we forgetting All The Way (6x06) when she wandered the streets with Janice? Did anything happen to properly address that behavour? Giles basically told her off and then left town, so I guess we're not sure if that stuck. Dawn's other guardian figures have either moved out (Tara), or have been somewhere between a bit distracted and on occasion blitzed out of their gord. I think you were right to interpret that the scene of Dawn coming home after dark was partly there to show us that Buffy didn't really notice. The social worker was a bit quick to judge, but she may have also been on to something about the state of Dawn's home life. We certainly empathize with how hard things are for Buffy at the moment, and that Willow has been struggling with addiction, but that empathy doesn't magically make things OK for Dawn.

Bud Haven

I was happy Buffy was able to take a break from responsibilities and acting responsible. Dawn needed protecting at all costs and Spike wanted more from Buffy than he's likely to get invisible or not.

Girl4Music

Well that’s great. Good for you. 😁👍

Ron Fehr

From what I understand, Warren hinted that Buffy got hit with a large dose of radiation from the invisible ray gun overloading, and that was what would have caused her to dissolve. After fixing it, they were able to safely use it on themselves without overloading. Thus it wasn't dangerous in their case. Just an educated guess.

Ron Fehr

In one way, it's the opposite of Hush in which we had to find out what everyone's thinking/feelig without them using words. In this instance, we had to do the same for Buffy with only her voice as a guide.

Girl4Music

Yeah! Very clever. I say the same about ‘OMWF’. The anti-‘Hush’.

Shaun Houghton

I maintain that Dawn did go straight home after school. Nobody said anything about her staying home when she got there.

Ron Fehr

Xander was merely coming to the obvious conclusion first. He nay not have intentionally meant to accuse her. I kind of think that subconsciously he wanted to eliminate her as a suspect, but just didn't word himself properly. He would never intentionally hurt Willow.

Ron Fehr

In a way, Warren even showed his true colors back in season 5, when he told April that he loved Buffy, just so that she wouldn't harm him (at least in his mind, she was capable of that, even though she loved him). In that case, he was willing to betray Buffy to save himself.

Girl4Music

We know that: but even so. It was passing judgement on someone in the first stage of recovery from addiction.

Ron Fehr

I wonder if I'm the odd one out, because I always went straight home after school. Granted, some of my school years were spent living out of town, so it was important not to kiss the bus. But I never had an excuse not to go straight home. Also I want say that it would be very interesting to see you with a haircut, Domi.

George Baxter

Can’t wait for you to rewatch Restless after season 6&7. Already there’s so much more subtext Domi would pick up on in retrospect. Like Buffy’s Mom disappearing into the walls…

Steve Quast

"Gone doesn't mean Dawn is gone, right?" Well, Dawn does rhyme with Gone.