Junfa April Chapters 1-5 (Patreon)

Junfa April

Prologue

[Dakota: Need to add Junfa April perspective of saving Grant from Corrupted Grass Prairie Dogs.  (Can’t do it until you do the last part in March, so they match.)  She is happy to see someone new, but she knows the weak people from Spring will definitely die without her help.  End with her picking up Grant and welcoming him to the District.]

Chapter 1

“Your name is what?”  Grant was stunned.  The revelation that the woman who had just saved his life was the same woman he was supposed to defeat had his head spinning.  He took a second to notice the high quality of her leather armor, and her whips seemed to dance in her hands like they had a mind of their own.  Her midnight dark hair framed an ageless face that could have been from a cultivator that was thirty or three hundred years old, and her green eyes were as sharp as his Uchigatana.  Overally, she was beautiful, dangerous, and very impressive.

<Quick, stab her!  Stab her!>  Sarge was obviously excited by having the person who was his end goal right in front of him.  <Why aren’t you stabbing her?>

“You and I both know that she just saved my life.”  Grant made sure that he mumbled under his breath, so no one else could hear him.  “I’m not going to surprise attack her just because she saved me.”

<I can guarantee that you are going to regret not taking advantage of this chance later on.>  Grant could only nod in agreement.  He knew he would too, but being that underhanded just wasn’t something he could accept for himself.

“I said, my name is Junfa April.”  She waved for him to follow her after her tigers ran in front of them to scout.  “We haven’t seen anyone from the Spring months in years, so it is good to have people coming through the border again.”  She squinted at him, obviously looking at his name on her screen.  “What exactly is an Earl?”

“Oh, give me a second.”  Grant looked at his stat sheet, and changed his name from Earl Spring to Grant Monday.

Name: Grant Monday (Options: Grant Monday, Earl Spring)

Rank: Earl Spring  (Lord of The Month for January, February, and March)

Class: Foundation Cultivator

Cultivation Achievement Level: 22

Cultivation Stage: Late Summer

Inherent Abilities: Swirling Seasons Cultivation

Health: 413/520

Mana: 26/26

Dao Achievements:  Dao Seed of Change

Effects:

-20% requirements of gaining a skill

+20% speed of increasing a skill

+20% chance for skill to mutate upon ranking up

Physical: 313

Mental: 102

Armor Proficiency: 163

Weapon Proficiency: 193

Late Spring Medium Ornate Banded Mail armor. Full set: Head, Torso, Legs.

Total Physical Damage Decrease per set item (Includes Cultivation bonus): 69

Total Magical Damage Decrease per set item (Includes Cultivation bonus): 69

February Twenty Nine (Considered as a Late Spring Medium weapon due to Weapon/Armor synergy)

Total Damage increase: 80. (Base weapon increase: 14. Weapon Cultivation increase: 66.)

Critical hit maximum damage: 120

Weapon Inherent abilities:

1) Weapon Absorption: This sword has the ability to absorb another Wielded Weapon’s power, taking its ability into itself. Restriction: Only one weapon per Monthly series.

2) Weapon/Armor Synergy: When the Wielder is equipped with armor, this sword increases in potency and gains power. Increase is capped at the Welder's cultivation stage, or average armor stage, whichever is lower. February 29 is currently considered a Mid Spring Light’ sword. Current maximum damage is: 73 (59 from weapon cultivation, 14 from base weapon weapon stage damage, rounded up.) Damage type is ‘piercing’, ‘slashing’, or ‘blunt’ depending on how February 29 is used.

3) Time is Space: you now have access to any of the powers of February Twenty Nine, no matter where the Weapon is. You may also call your Weapon to you so long as you touch upon a place in the world where it once was while bound to you. Cost: 25% of mana pool.

4) Locked

Weapon Absorbed abilities:

1) Sword Grandmastery: Imbue your weapon with a Sword Spirit that creates a model that allows for enhanced physical, mental, and weapon cultivation. Restriction: the training plan must be followed, else the ability locks for 24 hours. There is only one warning given per day.

2) Live by the Sword: Pause and meditate on the failures of your combat ability, healing up to 40% of all damage taken within the last 10 minutes, over one full minute. This ability will increase with physical cultivation.

3) Mind over Matter: Set a binding rule, as well as the punishment for breaking that rule. The harsher the requirements of the rule, the harsher the punishment may be.

Skills:

Plant Insight(1/5) Skill tier 1: It is 10% easier to spot plants with medicinal effects within a ten-yard radius.

Kenjutsu (2/10) Skill tier 1: All damage dealt when wielding a sword is increased by 10%.

Skill tier 2: your sword will never betray you. When a sword is wielded by you, the blade will always land exactly where you intend.

Iaijutsu (2/5) Skill tier 1: When prepared to attack, sword instantly leaves a sheath and slashes or penetrates target, increasing on-hit damage by 10%.

Skill tier 2: Perfect Aim. If you can use any sense to see something coming for you, your sword will be there.

Reflective Skin (1/10) Knowing your enemy is half the battle, and you’ve found a way to make it harder for other people to understand you! As this skill is self-created, it will increase significantly faster than other skills.

Lightning attunement (1/10) Skill tier 1: Increases damage of all lightning-attuned spells by 10%.

Bodily awareness (1/3) Your mind has learned what is real, and what is not. Now you will always know for sure. Skill tier 1: the pain of all real damage taken is increased by 10%.

Spells:

Elemental Spell: Thundering Step

Prerequisites: 65 Mind. Two feet. Metal weapon.

Active Mode: Create a static field in a five foot radius around you that damages others when they move through the area. Does not move from the point it was set. Lasts five seconds.

Mana cost: 10 per use.

Damage(Self): 0% Mental cultivation.

Damage(Other): 100% Mental cultivation per second.

Training Mode: Increase movement speed by 50% while out of combat. Combat is defined as not dealing or taking damage from an opponent for five seconds.

Mana cost: 10% per second. Mana regen halted while active.

Utility Spell: Apprentice Repair

Prerequisites: 80 Mind. Two hands. The ability to see or sense the targeted object.

Active Mode: Improve, combine, or repair the object or objects targeted by the spell.  More complicated items require a higher-tier spell.

Mana cost: 7 per use.

Training Mode: If used when disassembling, reassembling, or cleaning an item, 50% chance of the user gaining a deeper understanding of how an item works.

Mana cost: 7 per use.

“There we go.”  His status had certainly changed from when he first picked up his Wielded Weapon.  “Now you should see my name instead of my Rank.”

“Oh, you’re a Monday?”  She grimaced, before her smile returned.  “I’ll try not to hold that against you.  At least you are a Wielder, and not just a Vassal.”  She picked up her running speed to what Grant considered a sprint, but she clearly considered it to be a regular pace.  “Let’s hurry up, before the caravan gets too far ahead.”

Grant wanted to answer her, but he couldn’t.  His options were either keep up, or talk and fall behind.  Considering the mauling he would get without her there to protect him, he chose to not speak.

<The monsters here seem to all be at the empowered or corrupted level.  We are going to need to focus on your weapon cultivation if you want to ever pierce their hide.>  Grant grimaced at Sarge’s words.  He might have been at the peak of the Spring powers, but that was nothing compared to even the weakest of the Summer months.   <As it stands, you will have to aim for weak spots or simply run away.>  He could only nod in agreement to Sarge's words.  This District was tough.

The two of them kept up the grueling pace for over an hour, following a trail of flattened grass through the plains.  Grant quickly came to respect the prowess of the Junfa’s tigers, and he completely understood how useful they were in a location like this.  While they were stopped for a short water break on the narrow bank of a tiny stream, he even contemplated the possibility of training his own creature to serve as a scout, but Sarge quickly changed his mind.

<We could certainly get started on that, and in only seven or eight months you could probably manage a single bonded creature.  It wouldn’t be something you could fight with right then either, but at least the bond would be there.>

“So, that would be a no then.”  Grant wistfully watched as a tiger came back to somehow tell the enigmatic woman who saved his life that they needed to shift to the south to clear a nest of monsters.  “Oh well.  I’ll just have to learn some kind of way to figure out where all the hostile creatures are around here.”  Which was when he realized that was a ridiculous idea.

“Down!”  Junfa April shouted at Grant, and he rolled forward into a dive that had him covered in dirt and grass stains before he even had a chance to see what had snuck past the screen of big cats.  The rush of air that blew past the back of his neck told Grant he barely missed the blow meant for him.  He spun around after rolling to his feet to see what had almost got him, and was shocked to see a praying mantis the size of a house cat staring back at him with its multifaceted eyes.

<Oh, that’s not good.>  Grant was clearly surprised to hear Sarge worried about a single bug.  A particularly oversized bug, but certainly not something beyond his current abilities, even with the increase in monster toughness.  <That isn’t a praying mantis, it’s a Corrupted Preying Mantis.  As in, it isn’t going to pray to the gods for you, the insect is hunting you, and you are it’s prey.>

“So, it’s one really tough bug.  I can handle it.”  To prove his point, Grant used his Iaijutsu skill to remove the small monster’s head in one smooth and controlled swipe.  “See?  No problem.”

<It isn’t that you can’t handle one simple bug, Grant.  It’s that there is never just one.>  The sound of buzzing as the monster’s head bounced off the grassy trail made the hairs on the back of Grant’s neck stand up.

“We should probably run.”  Junfa April had either told her pet tigers to sprint ahead already, or the sound of a swarm of exceedingly large bugs approaching them was enough of a reason for them to take off on their own.  “And run fast.”

The two warriors took off running, quickly crossing the small stream and staying on the path of trampled grass.  A steady breeze was causing the long grass on either side of the trail to shift and move like it was a green ocean, and Grant was once again struck by how beautiful it was.  While running for his life.  His existence was definitely odd.

<On your left!>  Grant was still holding his Uchigatana, so he slashed to the side across his body.  The sound of the droning swarm swelled, and he turned his head just enough to see a flying bug get slapped down by his sword.  <You didn’t kill it, but I would count that as a win.  It was trying to remove your head.>

Grant was falling behind Junfa April, and he could see flashes of the bugs through the tall grass on either side.  His breath was coming in ragged gasps, but he put his head down and pushed through.  He was beginning to realize there was a world of difference between being in great shape, and being in excellent shape.  He still had a ways to go.

“Come on!”  Junfa April turned off the path, sprinting through the armpit-high grass toward a small rise to the east.  “We can make a stand there!”

Running on flattened grass was definitely different from the flattened trail they had been on.  Grant felt like he was almost getting pushed back, and he leaned forward into his sprint to maintain the pace she was setting.  The glint of sunlight off a blade of chitin on the forelegs of a Preying Mantis almost blinded Grant before he could get his sword lifted up to block.  The edge of its raptor-like limb had barbed teeth that snapped off on his Uchigatana, shattering like glass.

The breaking of its forelegs didn’t seem to bother the oversized bug, and it flew around to make another swipe at Grant’s face.  He managed to move out of the way enough to take the gash on his armored shoulder, and the sound of the barbed talon scraping off his gear made his skin crawl.  Grant was out of position for using his blade, so he used his head.  Literally.

<This hasn’t really come up before, but no one wins in a headbutt.>  Grant stumbled after smashing his helmeted head into the bug, but somehow managed to stay on his feet.  He hadn’t expected a flying bug to stand up so well against his hit, but the mantis had been flying forward with quite a bit of momentum.  At least he had hurt it enough to get past the creature.  <These creatures are stronger than what you have faced in the past.  Maybe it is a good idea to not start slamming your head against them until you have a better idea of what they are capable of doing.>

“I… can’t argue… with that!”  Grant was panting, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of air, or his recent head injury.  Neither was a good option.  “Where… did she go?”  He had lost sight of where Junfa April was, and he had reached the hilltop where they were supposed to make their stand.

<She turned to the north when she reached the top before you, but I lost track of her as well.>  Grant looked in that direction, and was surprised to see the ruins of an old town starting halfway down the other side of the hill.  The flash of dark hair between fallen walls was enough to send him stumbling down the hill after her.

After reaching them, Grant realized the ruins were from more of a small hamlet than an actual town, but it was still enough for him to lose sight of his guide.  Another narrow stream ran through the center of the town, and Grant finally saw her standing on the other side, waiting for him over a narrow stone footbridge.

“Come on!  We can fight them in the circle!”  She waved him across and led the way toward a circular circle of stones on the edge of the stream that at one time might have been some kind of mill.  Now, it was just a vague circle of stones that barely made it to his shoulders, besides a single standing arch that marked the open entrance.  It would give them enough space to fight together, while still providing cover.  “You take the main entrance, and I will take care of the flyers coming over the walls.”  Grant gave her a sharp nod before spinning in place and dropping his pack to the side.  It was bulky enough to help narrow the wide archway, as long as the bugs didn’t just push it out of their way.

<Stay focused.  The Corrupted Preying Mantis are like any other bug.  They will be weak at the joints, and their eyes are brittle.  Make every move count.>  Grant took a deep breath to steady himself, and prepared for the storm of flashing blades about to come for him.  <Oh, and I think Junfa April is staring at your butt.>

“What?”  Grant wasn’t ready when they came like a wave to wash over him.

Chapter 2

“Thundering Step!”  Grant activated his only offensive spell, throwing up a radius of lightning around him that exploded the housecat-sized bugs like they were the party poppers they used in District January to celebrate a particularly exciting eating competition.

Thundering Step is increased by Lightning attunement! Damage per second is currently: 113 per second

Storm of Death!  Perfect use of your spell doubles its effectiveness to 226 per second!  Mental cultivation increased by 20% for 10 minutes!

The screens flashed across Grant’s vision while he was trying to watch the bugs explode in impressive eruptions of green goo and insectile gore.  He could hear Junfa April laugh in delight behind him, and the loud steady cadence of her whip cracks shook dust from the stone walls surrounding them.

<Get ready.  The spell drops in two seconds.>  Grant lifted his sword into a high guard, ready to smash down onto the first corrupted bug that made it past the wall of lightning.

Half a breath after the spell dropped, they were on him.  Grant danced, his sword the song, cracking whips the drums keeping a steady beat.  He used the edge of the blade to shear the limbs from their bodies, raining shining chitin across the opening.  The pile quickly grew to ankle-height, blowing in the breeze like disgusting leaves.  Since he wasn’t actually killing most of the cat-sized bugs, he was forced to step backwards as they crawled their way forward toward his position.

“If you back up any farther, you might get hurt by my whips!”  Junfa April’s shouted warning caused Grant to glance back, and he was surprised to see how many of the bugs she had been exterminating.  It isn’t that her pile of dead was bigger than his.  It was that there was more than just one of those piles.

<Keep your focus!>  A sharp pain forced him to turn back around.  He had only looked back for a split second, but it was enough to allow a Preying Mantis to dig a furrow across his forehead.  Now he had to deal with blood running into his eyes.  <I swear, you never learn.>

Grant felt several of the grounded bugs trying to stab his feet, so he started stomping down hard in an attempt to smash them.  They were nimble enough to avoid his unaimed stomps, so he didn’t get the satisfaction of crushing one under his feet.  Instead, he activated Thundering Step a second time.

Dao Seed of Change activated.

Growth is Strength:

Storm of Death II!  Perfect use of your spell twice in one battle quadruples its effectiveness to 452 per second!  Mental cultivation increased by 40% for 50 minutes!

The lightning that danced between the corrupted bugs this time seemed almost hungry.  This time, they didn’t explode.  Instead, the bugs were vaporized by the spell.  The chains of devouring light even expanded far past the normal radius of Thundering Step.  The ring of stones they were fighting inside crackled with energy, and the unending swarm of corrupted bugs ended.  Even the mindless monsters understood the imminent death they faced.

Strength is Power:

Level Up! Level increased from Level 22 to 23.

<Congratulations.  Killing seventy two psychotic and clearly suicidal bugs gave you enough cultivation to boost you to the next level.  Plus some extra.>

"That was… impressive."  Junfa April was looking Grant up and down.  "I'm glad you are more than just a pretty face.  You killed them with style."  He blushed at the praise.  “Even if it was only nuisance creatures any Wielder could easily overcome by their sixteenth birthday, as long as they used some common sense and didn’t allow themselves to be surrounded.”  Now Grant wasn’t sure if she was complimenting him, or insulting him.

<You don't have long before they return.  I recommend you either find a more defensible location, or move on.>

"How far away is that group you are taking me to?"  Grant had to walk through a pile of ash and burnt carapice to peek outside.  “I don’t see anymore right now, but they might be back soon.”

“I would guess they are less than an hour from here.”  Junfa April jumped to the top of the stone ring surrounding them.  “Now that I have a better measure of your abilities, I will allow you to join our caravan.”  Grant didn’t know he was even being tested.  Not that it would have changed anything.  “Your little lightning storm scared them off for a bit.  Let’s hurry, before they work up the courage in their little buggy hearts to try again.  There isn’t anything useful from their bodies, so killing them is just a waste of time.”

Without waiting for a reply, the woman leapt from the top of the wall and took off in a dead sprint.  Grant scrambled to catch up, hurriedly sheathing his sword so he could run faster.  The woman was incredibly fast.

<I might have underestimated the level required to function in the Summer Districts.  You are going to have a sharp learning curve to catch up.>

“Yeah, I noticed.”  Grant didn’t need any explanation.  It was pretty obvious that if the Corrupted Preying Mantis and Empowered Prairie Dogs were seen as little more than a nuisance in District April, he was in trouble.

The two traveled for another hour, only the occasional buzz of flying bugs following them reaching their ears.  At one point, Grant thought he heard the sounds of a short but violent battle off to their right, which let him know the Grass Tigers were still out there somewhere.  He shuddered to think about what would happen if they weren’t running interference for their run.

Eventually, a convoy of wagons gradually came into view.  As he crested a hilltop and stopped to catch his breath, the true size of the train of wheeled vehicles became apparent.  This was no normal merchant caravan.

<There must be two or three hundred wagons in that train.  You can’t even see the end of it.>

“How many people are there in your group, Junfa April?”  She had stopped to let him catch up, and held a long tube with glass on each end up to her eye.  He guessed it was used to see far away, because she was squinting hard.  Her pursed lips told him she wasn’t happy with what she was seeing.  “Is something wrong?”

“There should be more people in the rear guard.  Either they decided to get lazy because I wasn’t there, or they were needed somewhere else along the convoy.”  She paused, then pointed at a faint line of smoke or dust coming from the far left side.  “Ah, there it is.  They are pushing something away from the convoy.  Probably some more of those prairie dogs you made friends with earlier.”

“Should we be worried about the fire?  I would think all this grass around here would cause quite a fire hazard.”  Grant was already looking around, trying to find another stream in case he needed to put a line of water between himself and any potential flames.

“Fire certainly is a serious concern, but not with the cult present.  There are enough people in every quick reaction force with water spells to keep it from getting out of control.”  She started walking down the hill, this time taking it slower so Grant could easily keep up.  “You will quickly learn how important it is to keep a close eye on any cookfires.  The cult of Anti-Flame Fanatics are welcomed into every wagon train in the District, even if they are a little… fanatic.”  Grant looked at her with obvious confusion.  “They hate fire.  Their religion finds it to be unnatural.  Trying to make a warm meal with them around usually ends up with everyone a soggy mess.”

“I will be extra careful then.”  Grant was a little confused as to how an entire religion could be based around the hatred of fire, but after considering the nature of the area, he only shrugged in acceptance.  People could be weird.

“To answer your earlier question, I have almost a thousand people in my caravan.”  Junfa April nodded to the group they were slowly approaching.  “I have the largest wagon train in the District, but several others come close.”

“Wow!  Why do you need so many people when you travel from one place to another?”  He looked her up and down.  “You look like a warrior, not one of those pampered nobles that need a bunch of people to take care of them.”

“I don’t understand your question.”  She seemed genuinely confused.  “There is safety in numbers.  Why would I want to travel with a smaller group?”

“Well, I’m sure most of these people have homes and families waiting on them when you go from one town to another.”  Grant motioned back to the ruins they had left behind.  They hadn’t come across any other towns yet, but he figured that they must be headed to one.  “Don’t they get tired of following you all over the place?”

“Ah, I see.  You haven’t figured it out yet.”  Junfa April smiled at him and pointed to the long line of vehicles.  “Those are their homes, and their town, all in one.  District April doesn’t have any stationary villages anymore.  The last walled city fell over a century ago.”  Grant stared at her in shock.  “If we stay too long in any one place, the monsters will band together and destroy it.  Everyone lives in the House Trains now.  It’s the only way to survive.”

“So, where are you going?”  Grant was having problems wrapping his mind around the information.  “If there are no cities, what is your destination?”

“Most days, our only destination is either the best hunting grounds, or to check the few fields we manage to plant the season before, or maybe to the nearest large body of water to fish and refill the tanker wagons.”  Junfa April pointed to the horizon, where the grass-covered hills waved in the wind like green ocean waves as far as the eye can see.  “Since the end of April nears, we are traveling to the Meeting Place, for the Conclave of Houses.”

“The Meeting Place?”  Grant could hear the capital letters in the name.  “I assume it is an important location?”

“Yes, it’s where all the Houses come together every year to determine who takes the title of Lord of the Month.  What we call ‘Junfa,’ the word for ‘Warlord’ in the old language.”  She pointed to herself with an upraised thumb.  “I have won seven of the last ten years, but I don’t think I will try too hard this year.  Being in charge all the time doesn’t leave much room for other… activities.”  She gave Grant a very deliberate wink after looking him up and down again.

<I didn’t know people could blush in Fuchsia.>  Sarge’s comment only made his cheeks hotter.  <This woman is a feisty one.>

“Umm…” Grant coughed, clearing his throat.  “What do you have to do to become the next Junfa?”

“Oh, that’s easy.  Just prove you are the best hunter, protector, provider, and battlefield leader.”  She motioned to the convoy of wagons in front of them.  “A bunch of the wagons and families travel with whoever wins every year.  That’s why it’s important that the title stays with the most capable of the caravan protectors.  They make sure our people are safe.  Without our people, the Houses mean nothing.”

“That is a refreshing sentiment to hear.”  Grant was genuinely impressed.  “You wouldn’t believe how terrible the leadership was in District March.  They thought the people were only there to serve them, not the other way around.”

“I’m not surprised.”  Junfa April let out a long-suffering sigh.  “It was similar here in District April for a long time.  Once the monster waves started to push through the barriers and began wiping out entire communities, the old ways of leadership ended pretty quickly.  Either they realized that they would rule over nothing, or they could protect their people.”  Her eyes flashed in anger for a heartbeat, but they went back to normal quickly.  “Or, they died.  By the claws and teeth of the monsters, or by the hands of the same people they were meant to protect.”

“District March was headed the same direction, until the Mad Jester finally lost a card game.”  She gave Grant a confused glance, but he glossed over the events of the last month.  It would bring up memories of Suki, and he was trying to push those down into a tiny little ball inside his guts - the place he used to fill by eating all his feelings back in District January - and covering it up until it didn’t bother him anymore.  He was sure it would work.  “What would I need to do to win the competition?”

“Ha!  You?”  Junfa April’s laugh sounded almost like a bark.  “I don’t even know how you could manage to kill enough of the monsters to make a pile large enough to even enter the runnings!”

“Make a pile of monsters?”  Grant wasn’t sure what she was talking about.  How could he make monsters?

“Yes.”  Junfa April slapped a small pouch on her belt.  “Every hunter worth their salt [Or, Every Wielder worth their Weapon, etc.] carries one of these.  It is a storage device that allows you to keep the things you kill fresh.  Mine is just about full, so when I empty it, the pile should reach several feet over the tallest wagon.  That’s the bare minimum to enter the competition for the title of Junfa.”  She nodded toward the wagon train.  “Last year, House Sunday’s competitor had three full bags.  If she hadn’t lost in the last round, she would be leading us right now.  Instead, her and her family run the healing wagon for me.  She is still a member of House Sunday, but for this year she decided to stick with me to learn from the master.”

“What would I need to do to get one of those bags?”  Grant was already envisioning how useful it would be.  He could finally get the heavy pack off his back!

“I’m sure there are a few in storage.  We will have to look after we get you settled.”  She cut off all conversation by turning to shout some commands to her tigers, before changing their direction toward the growing pillar of smoke rising in the distance.  “I don’t like how big that has gotten.  We are going to go and see what’s wrong.”

<Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.>  Sarge’s chuckle didn’t make Grant feel good about Junfa April’s decision.  <This time, it might be a little more literal than you were probably expecting.>

Chapter 3

<I think you might have bitten off more than you can chew on this one.>  The wall of flames they were quickly approaching was putting off enough heat that Grant’s eyeballs were sweating.  He knew they could sweat, because it had happened several times during Sarge’s training sessions, but this was the first time it was caused by outside influence.  <None of your abilities are suited to fighting fire, so I would recommend you drop back and support where you can.  Knowing if you will lose a fight before it begins is a sure path to death.>

“I don’t have a choice.”  Grant paused, then waved his hand in a tight circle.  “No matter where I run, the fire will catch up to me if it gets out of control.  We need to stop it now, while there is still a chance.”

<Spoken like a true leader.  Listen to your advisors, but be decisive in your actions.>  Grant felt a hum of approval from his Uchigatana.  <Too bad you are going to die soon.  You were just starting to show some real promise.>

“I thought you were supposed to be helpful?”  Grant thumped his sword with his hand in rebuke.  “That isn’t very helpful.”

<You are correct.  Sorry, bad habits die hard.>  Grant thought Sarge was done speaking, but he chimed in one last time before Grant caught up with Junfa April.  <Don’t get burned to death.  How’s that?>

Junfa April was surprised to see the grin on Grant’s face when he caught up to her.  A brief appreciation for all warriors not afraid of death caused a brief smile to flash across her own features.  She quickly surveyed the region, and pointed to a large barrel-shaped wagon with six people wearing blue tunics swarming all over it.

“It looks like the water wagon is having problems.  Go light a fire under their tails, before an actual fire does it for them!”  She turned in the opposite direction, where a group of Vassals wielding whips were trying to keep a seething cluster of scorched creatures from squirting past them.  The creatures didn’t want to get burned by the spreading fire, and they were about to overrun Junfa April’s fighters.  “I’ll go give those idiots a hand.  Don’t they realize they need to funnel the Grabby Gophers away from the convoy, instead of just pushing them back into the fire?  Never let an enemy know they are cornered.  It makes them twice as dangerous.”

Grant gave her a sharp nod and sprinted for the wagon, his sore feet screaming in anger.  The ridiculously long wagon train was visible in the distance, its pace definitely increased from what he had seen earlier.  They were angling away from the quickly-growing fire, the distant bellows of their beasts of burden audible even over the crackling roar of the flames spreading behind him.

“Quick!  Get the spare hose hooked up, and make sure the valves are closed before you pull off the broken one!”  The man shouting as Grant approached was almost the same shape as the wagon he was clearly in charge of.  He was basically a barrel with stumpy legs and arms, and hands big enough to crush the skulls of the normal-sized people he was yelling at.  “No, not the watering hose, you broken wheel!  We aren’t watering plants!  Do you not see the fire about to burn us all to a crisp?  How about an introduction?  Fire-that’s-about-to-kill-all-we-hold-dear, this is the dumbest human in existence.  Dumbest human in existence, this.  Is.  Fire!”  He was using his whole hand to point at the person and then back to the burning flames, like a knife-hand.  His other hand was holding a war pickaxe that was almost humming with power.  He was definitely a Wielder.  “Now that I have introduced you, are there any other questionable actions you would like me to expound upon before your utter stupidity manages to kill us all?”

“What on the hose is broken, sir?”  Grant knew that interrupting the man’s tirade might end poorly, but the fire wasn’t exactly getting any smaller.  “I might be able to fix it.”

“Oh, look.  A complete stranger shows up and thinks he can fix a water wagon, one of the sacred tools of the Anti-Flame Fanatics that no one but a member of the religion knows how to use.”  He rolled his eyes hard enough that Grant was worried they would break free from their sockets.  “Thank the Ice Gods, we’re saved!”  The man’s sarcasm was a little over the top, but Grant didn’t see anyone else in charge.  Seeing that Grant didn’t react to his tirade, the barrel-shaped man pointed to a worn and dented brass nozzle on the end of a thick hose that trailed from the base of the wagon.  “The snoot won’t open.  Our biggest spells won’t work without flowing water, and sonny, we need our biggest spells right now.”

“Let me see what I can do.”  Grant walked over and picked up the hunk of battered metal and took a soot-filled breath before activating his utility spell, Apprentice Repair.  The brass nozzle made a loud ‘thunk’ sound, and the hose came alive as water sprayed out of the end.

“Bah!  Slap me with a meatball and call me Sally, he did it!”  Grant was fighting to keep the metal end from whipping around and smashing him in the face, but he was aware enough to hear the orders from the leader of the Anti-Flame Fanatics.  “Point it at the base of the flames, me-boy-o!  The lads and I will handle the rest!”

Fighting the hose was already wearing out Grant’s forearms, but he managed to shift it where the big man pointed.  He worked it side to side, walking the torrent of water across the full length of the wall of fire swiftly approaching.  He was able to witness the power of the Fanatics at work, and it was a reminder that he was only a frog pulled out of a well, and there were whole oceans around him.

“Together, boys!  Just like we practice!”  The five other helpers lifted smaller versions of the war pickaxe over their heads, matching their leader’s stance.  “Now!”  They swung down in unison, and a wall of water taller than the leaping flames rushed forward, appearing out of nowhere.  When it hit the fire, it seemed to solidify for a moment, as if it shifted to ice at the last second.  The effects were immediate.  “Good job, lads!  Now, let’s do it again!”  Grant swallowed, thinking about the damage a blast like that would have done to a group of enemies.  The group of fire-haters could have cleared out the Labyrinth Grant had spent days navigating in almost no time.

The roiling steam and smoke made it almost impossible for Grant to see how deep the effects of their combined spell reached into the conflagration, but at the very least it had stopped spreading in the direction of the wagon train.  There was a notable drop in temperature, which Grant took as a good sign.  The likelihood of him being cooked in his armor seemed to be greatly reduced.

Putting out the fire took the rest of the day.  Grant worked the water hose, while the beasts of burden pulled the wagon as they trailed behind the line of the Fanatics.  As they put out the flames, it became quickly apparent why Junfa April said they were welcomed in every wagon train.  Their skills at fighting fires were incredibly efficient, and it was obvious they were well-practiced at their skills.  The haze of smoke made it difficult to see exactly when the sun went down, but it was by starlight when Junfa April made her way over to inspect their work.

“As always, an excellent job, Water Warden.”  Her whips were dripping blood onto the charred ground, but her clothing and armor were spotless.  “It looked like the fire was close to getting away from you when I first arrived.  I guess I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“It was, Junfa, until this young lad showed up.”  He waved a hand at Grant, while simultaneously shooting an angry glare at his followers.  “This bunch of cracked axles couldn’t even get the snoot to work, but he waved his hands, and the water was spraying out like it was brand new!”  He stomped his stubby legs over to where Grant was leaning against the wagon.  “What Wagon Train do you hail from, boy-o?  I don’t recognize you from any of the Conclaves.”

“He’s new.”  Junfa April answered for him, as she walked over to grab the nozzle from Grant’s hands.  She glanced around to make sure none of Water Warden’s people were close enough to hear, and leaned forward in order to speak softly.  “I found him on the edge of the border… after he stepped through the barrier.”

“You mean he’s from March!”  Warden’s eyes widened as he shouted, then looked around quickly to make sure no one noticed his outburst.  “We haven’t had someone come through the borders in… a really long time.”  He pulled Grant closer to him.  “Tell me truly, what are the chances of the Summer Districts pushing through to help us fight the beasts?”  His eyes misted over, as if he was suddenly seeing a future long thought lost.  “If they could hold a skirmish line at the border with District May, even for a few weeks, we would have a chance to clear out what’s already here.  Rebuild a city or two.  Get some truly sturdy walls in place, to ensure people’s safety.  Regents, we could finally hunt down the Blizzard Ent, and at least reopen the northern passages…”  He trailed off, his mind taking him to a different place.  Junfa April slapped the heavy brass nozzle into his chest to bring him back to the present.

“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, here.”  She looked at Grant with a hint of sympathy.  “After seeing him fight, and gauging his cultivation levels, I don’t think the soft Spring-folk would be able to hold a skirmish line for longer than a day or two.  They would get slaughtered by the first group of Corrupted Grass Stalkers that came across their path.  What you dream of could only happen if all the Houses banded together, but I’m sure you know how unlikely that idea is.  About as likely as District May to offer us assistance without demanding our weight in Time.”  Warden’s face fell, and he looked to Grant.

“Honestly, March isn’t in any position to provide assistance at the moment.”  Grant hated to see the light of hope die in the man’s eyes, but he figured honesty was the best approach.  “They are dealing with their own problems right now, and most of the people are on the edge of starvation.  Once they get the situation under control, I’m sure they could at least help build the cities you were talking about.  Especially if you let them set up a casino somewhere.”  The two Summer inhabitants looked at Grant like he was spouting nonsense.  It was pretty obvious they hadn’t been to March in a long, long time.

“Well, the convoy should be stopped now.  I’m going to take our Spring visitor to get settled with them.”  Junfa April waved her bedraggled group of fighters over.  It was clear they had been fighting the creatures running from the flames well past the point of exhaustion.  “Since it was one of this crew who started the fire, they can stay behind to clean up and help escort you back to the others.  Safe travels, Water Warden.”

He gave her a sharp nod in reply, and immediately started shouting orders to the two groups now under his command.  His knife-hand was pointing emphatically at each person before they sprinted to complete his instructions, and very shortly the dead monsters were being put in a pile while the wagon was readied to move.  Grant and Junfa April were already out of earshot when Sarge finally spoke up.

<You know, that Warden guy would make a great General under your future rule.>  The faint sound of a war pickaxe slamming into the ground - probably to emphasize an order - echoed out over the plains.  <A crazy one, but a good one.>

Chapter 4

Grant ended up spending the night under a wagon.  It was too dark once they reached the wagon train for him to see much, so Junfa April picked out a spot for him near the rear of the convoy.  At first, Grant didn’t think he would be able to sleep on the uncomfortable ground, but the events of the day had him asleep as soon as he laid flat.  It felt like he had only blinked his eyes when a woman nudged him awake.

“Oy, time to be on ya feet young Wielda.”  Her accent made it hard for Grant to understand her.  “What’s wrong wit ya, mate?  Dingo’s are on the barbie, so get to the dunny and get ya some Dog’s eye.  Cheers to ya then.”  She turned and left, and Grant looked down at his Uchigatana.

<I don’t know either.>  Sarge said.  <These people are weird.>

“She means, it’s time to wake up, use the latrine, and there are meat pies for breakfast.”  Junfa April’s eyes sparkled as she smiled.  “You will get used to it, don’t worry.”

“Okay, I guess that means I should wake up then.”  Grant could barely hold in the groan as he bent down to put his boots on.  He desperately wished for a bath, but it didn’t look like anyone else was taking the time.  Everything was surprisingly clean, so Grant just guessed that they must bathe in the evenings.

After doing his business at the latrine ditch, Grant returned to a swirl of colors and sounds that shocked him.  He had been too tired to notice before, but everyone not a Wielder or Vassal was dressed in a riot of colors.  The wagons were, if anything, even more of an assault on the eyes.  They were painted in bright, clashing tones, each more garish than the last.  The sides of some were even carved with fantastical designs, some geometric patterns, with others showing beautiful scenes of the grasslands.  The one Grant had slept under showed a field of yellow grains, with a city of blue spires glowing in the distance.  He could almost feel the sense of joy and sadness the artist had carved and painted into the scene.  If he had to guess, Grant figured it must have been one of the cities destroyed by the incursion of the beasts.

“I guess I should officially welcome to the House Wednesday caravan.”  Junfa April walked up behind Grant, while he was still staring open-mouthed at the shocking display in front of him.  “It’s not the brightest of the wagon trains, but I would venture the opinion that we have the best art.  House Sunday likes to claim they do, but there is no variety.”  The sound of music drifted from the distant front of the wagon train, and the people nearest Grant started humming, as if to warm up their voices.  “The singing will start soon.  We don’t claim to have the best chorus of the caravans.  Loudest, though?  That’s definitely us.”

“Wait, you all sing?”  Grant was definitely surprised.  “I figured you would try to be as quiet as possible, to avoid all the creatures in the area.”

“Oh, it’s much worse to try and stay quiet.  You have to make a lot of noise to scare away all the smaller ones.”  The corners of her mouth turned up into a slight smile.  “And it means we don’t have to bother with hunting down the strong monsters.”

“Wait, you want to fight them?”  Grant was amazed.  He couldn’t imagine why they would want to put the lives of the entire wagon train at risk.  “Aren’t you worried that your people will get hurt?”

“That’s always a concern, of course, but we have gotten pretty good at killing beasts.”  Junfa April waved her hand toward the various flags and streamers, all of which showed the dragon’s claw that formed the ‘W’ of House Wednesday.  “That is the mission of our House, after all.  Killing monsters.”

“Huh.  I… guess that makes sense.”  Grant accepted a meat pie from a young lady passing by, who was passing them out to the people getting the wagons ready to travel.  “So, where do I fit in with all of this?  I need to fill one of those bags with monsters, like you were talking about, but I don’t want to be a burden on your people.”

“Still determined to enter the competition, are you?”  She smirked at him.  “Our entire economy is based around harvesting monster body parts, and the storage bags are our only way of making any real profit.”  Junfa April paused to think for a moment.  “I have an idea.  How about I sell you one of our bags, and you pay for it by giving me all the animals you fill it with after the competition is over?”  There was a mischievous glint in her eye, and Grant took an unconscious step backward.

“An entire storage bag full of monsters, just for the cost of the bag?”  Grant knew he was getting a bad deal.  He didn’t know what the value of all those monster parts would truly be, but it was obvious she was trying to scam him.  “Is that really fair?”

“How about this.  You give me all the monster parts, I let you keep the bag afterward, and all your meals, some training in how we hunt, and passage on the wagon train are all free of charge.”  Junfa April was clearly having fun with him, but Grant had no true way of gauging if he was still getting a bad deal or not.  “It’s not the worst deal you could get.  I’m no House Thursday merchant, out to steal your shirt.”

“Fine.”  Grant stuck his hand out to shake on the agreement.  “I guess I can’t complain too much.  The food here is certainly better than any I have had since District January.”

“Ha!  Mate, you just got the Dog’s breakfast on that one.”  A blond, handsome man dressed like the warriors in the wagon train came out of the tall grass near where Grant and Junfa April were standing.  “Only thing there that would have cost ya was the trainin’.  Food and passage are free, as long as you work.”

“Seriously?”  Grant narrowed his eyes at Junfa April.  “Not a member of House Thursday, trying to steal my shirt?”

“Ah, here’s the thing.”  She took a step back, and grabbed a large pouch and thick belt lying on the ground near a wagon wheel.  Grant hadn’t noticed it when he walked up, considering it was semi-hidden.  Junfa April had obviously placed it there while he was using the latrine trench.  “It’s free for the people of District April.  Soft Spring-folk have to pay, since they always need protection.”

“Didn’t you say I was the first person you had seen from the Spring Districts in a long time?”  Grant accepted the pouch and leather belt from her.  “How would that rule even exist, if you haven’t seen anyone in a long time?”

“I just made it up.”  Junfa April’s grin stretched from ear to ear as Grant spluttered in indignation.  She nodded toward the man who had approached while they were talking.  “This Wielder is my second-in-command, April Second.  He will show you around the convoy, and get you assigned to a hunting team.  Make sure you listen to him, and I will check back on you later.”  She disappeared between a pair of wagons before Grant could say anything, the smile on her face making him grimace.

“Ah, don’t feel too bad, mate.”  April Second put a consoling hand on Grant’s armored shoulder.  “That Sheila has been gettin’ the best of men like you an’ me for decades.”

“Wait, her name is Sheila?”  Grant was better able to understand this guy better than the woman from earlier, but his accent was still confusing him.  “I thought her name was Junfa April?”

“Ha!  Nah, mate.  Sheilas and blokes.  Women and men.  Whereabouts did ya come from, mate?”  He didn’t wait for Grant to answer.  “Better eat your Brekky fast.  We got a lot of ground to cover before we can get to the Argy Bargy.  You don’t want to be a Fizzer on your first day, do ya?”

Instead of answering, Grant just silently ate his meat pie.  His first real day on the wagon train was already starting out rougher than he expected.

Chapter 5

The first thing Grant had to learn about was how to help hitch up the animals to the wagons.  It was supposed to be one of the easiest jobs on the wagon train, one even children could perform.  Naturally, Grant was having some problems.

“Ha!  That Meatball got you good, mate!”  April Second helped him back to his feet.  Grant was going to have to use his utility repair spell to fix the horseshoe-shaped dent in his breastplate later.  “They are normally pretty stubborn, which is why we call them Meatballs - cause everyone wants to just grind them up for food - but they especially don’t like you!”

“Yeah, I noticed.”  Grant was trying to dig the dirt and grass out of the grooves in his greaves.  “Why haven’t you just ground these things up into hamburger?”  The giant, long-haired, oxen-like creatures only looked placid.  Their double-sets of gleaming white horns were almost as long as their wide shoulders, which matched the ivory-colored coat of thick hair that covered them.  The thick brass ring in their black noses was absolutely no help in guiding them where the stubborn animals were supposed to go.

“Well, they are the only creatures around here strong enough to pull the heavy wagons, like the supply and water storage.  But we call them ‘meatballs’ because of how ornery they are.  Just about everyone feels the same way you do.”  April Second pointed to the wagon in front of the one they were trying to hitch up.  “The Prairie Pullers can handle the regular wagons.”  Grant looked up to see some creatures that looked like giant versions of the Corrupted Prairie Dogs he had fought when crossing over the border.  “The light wagons, like what we use for scouting and protection, use the Saunterlings.”  He pointed to a wagon that was rumbling past them, already on patrol.  The two giant lizards pulling the scout vehicle were low to the ground, and they moved in sinuous synchronization.  Their flickering tongues made a shiver run up Grant’s spine.  April Second saw his reaction, and waved away his concerns.  “Don’t worry, the Saunterlings are actually the nice ones.”

“Why do I have a feeling I really don’t want to see the things you think aren’t nice?”  Grant finally had himself mostly presentable again, and approached the Meatballs once more.  This time, from the side.  “Once we get them hitched to the wagon, what’s next?”  He had to shout to be heard over the singing of the caravaners.  They had moved past humming, and were belting out bawdy road tunes before they were even underway.

“Well mate, I think we should hit the frog and toad on my wagon, and find you a team that’s light on the blokes.”  April Second gave a sharp tug on the ring through the nose of the Meatball he was leading over.  “Then I can have a kip.  I’m a bit knackered after last night’s festivities.  Mates said I was downright munted.”

<Now I know they have to just be making these words up.  None of that made a bit of sense.>  Sarge seemed downright frustrated.  <Communication is the most important part of fighting as a team on the battlefield.  How can anyone communicate effectively, if all they are doing is talking nonsense?>

“I don’t know if I even want to know what you just said.”  Grant said it with a smile, which caused April Second to laugh.  The two of them finally got the Meatballs hooked up to the supply wagon, and he led Grant to the rear of the wagon train, where a small wagon barely bigger than a chariot was waiting.  It was clearly built for speed, and the two Saunterlings hooked to the front of it seemed more heavily muscled than the others Grant had seen so far.

“Ah, me cobbers!  How are you this fine morning, my lovelies?”  April Second walked over and scratched the heads of the two giant lizards.

<What in all the sharp edges of the third realm is a cobber?>

“Ready for a walkabout?”  April Second checked their harnesses, to make sure they were tight.

<I really don’t like this guy.>

“What do we look out for while on patrol?”  Grant was having a problem not laughing at Sarge’s outbursts.  “I know there are beasts and monsters, but is there anything else we need to worry about?”

“Oh, there is always a clapped out wheel or two, helping the divvy wagon, freshies near water, and maybe some bandits on a lurk.”  April Second climbed up into the wagon.  “Mozzie swarms, ditches, pretty much anything that would slow us down.  That’s what we have to keep an eye out for.”

<That’s it, I’m done.  Wake me up when there is something exciting going on.  These people are going to drive me insane.>  Grant felt Sarge pull away from his mind.  He didn’t remember that ever happening before.  Finding out what all that meant was probably a waste of time, considering he would probably see first-hand what the Wielder was talking about soon anyway.  It was obvious that Grant just needed to stay vigilant.

“So, where to first?”  Grant climbed into the back of the wagon, since there wasn’t room for him on the narrow bench seat in the front.  “Are we swinging out to the sides, or going to the front?”

“We’ll zing to the front, mate.”  April Second flicked the reins.  “Hold onto your butts!”  Grant was confused for a moment.  Did he think Grant had more than one butt?  Any thoughts of actually asking that question flew out of his head when the giant lizards took off.  He almost flipped out the back of the wagon, but managed to hold on to the side at the last minute.  “Told ya mate, these babies are fast!”

“You didn’t say that!”  Grant struggled back to the front of the short wagon, holding on to the rear of the seat with both hands.  “You just said we would zing my butts or something!”

April Second laughed uproariously as they sped past the other wagons already in motion.  Despite their speed, Grant could still hear most of the words to the song the caravaners were singing.  It wasn’t the same as they passed different sections, but all of them had the same beat in the background.  Grant quickly surmised that they were doing more than just making a racket to keep smaller monsters away, and attract the larger ones that would be worth something when they killed it.  They were keeping in time with one another, so the pace of travel was consistent across the entire length of the long convoy.  Using the cadence of the music meant all the wagons went at roughly the same speed, keeping them from bunching up or spreading out too much.

Grant was also struck by how large the actual wagon train was.  It is one thing to hear there are a thousand people all traveling and living together, but another thing entirely to see it.  He didn’t exactly keep count, but Grant guessed there had to be at least three hundred wagons in the train.  Most of the wagon train had two wagons traveling side-by-side, unless it was one of the water or supply wagons.  Those were too big to have someone traveling next to them.  That, and he was pretty sure the Meatballs would try to attack the other team pulling a wagon if they could.  The very front and very back had three wagons across, to better knock down the tall grass for those following behind, and to secure the front and rear of the wagon train from any attacks.  The front three wagons even had large rollers instead of wheels, to better make a trail through the grass.  Everyone moved in a smooth and well-practiced manner, making the somewhat complicated method of travel seem simple.

“I’ll swing out here, so you can get a better idea of what kind of obstacles there are out on the plains.”  April Second directed his pet lizards to the left once they reached the front, where he tossed a wave at the three wagons with two of their warriors riding as lookouts in each.  They returned his wave, and quickly disappeared as Grant and April Second rode over the other side of a hill.  The going was a lot rougher without the front three wagons pushing down the grass to smooth the way.  “The team I want you to join is running as forward scouts today, so we might even run across them out here.  Otherwise, you will have to wait until the shift change at lunch.”

“Does the convoy stop for a midday meal?”  Grant doubted that was the case, considering the effort it would take to get everyone moving again, but he was just trying to make conversation.

“Nah, mate.”  April Second steered them around a dip in the ground that would have been painful to ride over.  “We just grab a snag bag from the food wagons at shift change, then roll back out.  Only wagon trains weaker than a sunburned snowflake need to stop during the day.”

Since Grant didn’t know what to say to that, he gave up on trying to talk.  They continued on their roving patrol in silence, the only sound the occasional flicker of the lizards’ tongues and creaking of the wagon.  The sun creeped higher in the sky, and Grant was thankful for the steady breeze passing over the plains.  Eventually, April Second started pointing out some of the various problems the scouts were responsible for finding.

“There, see that area where the grass isn’t as tall?”  He was pointing to a region between two of the rolling hills, where the grass was a darker green.  “That’s because that isn’t grass.  It’s a kind of bush, and the brambles would hurt the animals.  We would have to go around, or risk the animals getting an infection later down the road.”

“What about that stuff?”  Grant pointed to the hilltop to their right, between themselves and the distant convoy.  “It looks like some kind of vine.”

“Ah, good eye, mate.  That’s rollweed.  I’ll have to tell one of the work crews about it, so they can kill it before it gets too big and we can’t travel through here.”  April Second took a moment to jot down some notes on a few sheets of parchment he pulled from under the wagon seat.

“What does rollweed do?  Jump up and bite you or something?”  Grant didn’t see why it would be such a big hazard.  It was just a vine, after all.

“No, the animals love the way it smells, so they try to roll in it.  That wouldn’t be a big deal, except they are usually still hooked up to the wagons when they do it.”  He motioned to the lizards in front of him.  “Even the Saunterlings aren’t immune.  We try to collect it as a kind of treat, but we have to keep it in sealed containers.  Otherwise, you might end up with a Meatball trying to climb into the back of a wagon.  No one likes that.”

“Does the rollweed work on monsters?”  Grant looked carefully in all directions, trying to make sure there wasn’t some group of monsters sneaking up on them.  “I would imagine it would be a problem.”

“For some of the beasts, yes.”  He pointed to some mounds in the distance.  “Those are either gopher or prairie dog holes.  Their tunnel systems probably run all over and through these hills.  If you disturb the roots of those vines, I imagine they will show up in great numbers.”

“Should we add that to the report?”  Grant even saw a dark-furred creature dart out of one hole in the ground and dive into another.  “Especially if they are coming out here to collect the vine.”

“Nah, mate.  They already know.  It’s one of those things even a mongrel is keyed in on.”  April Second flicked the reins, causing them to pick back up to a pace about equal to a fast walk.  “We should be getting close to your team.  Time for some hard yakka.”

“Some what?”  Before Grant could get an answer, the faint sound of warriors locked in fierce combat could be heard in the distance.

“Looks like they are having a party without us, mate!”  April Second snapped the reins, this time causing them to speed up into a slithering gallop.  “Don’t chunder now, cause this wagon is rockin’!  It looks like it’s time for an argy bargy!”  Grant felt Sarge stir from whatever rest he had taken, probably because it looked like there was going to be some action.

<Punch him in the side of the head that looks the least damaged, maybe that would even him out enough to speak clearly.>  April Second howled with delight when they hit a large bump, causing Grant to get tossed into the air before getting slammed back down in the back of the wagon.  <I’m just saying, stabbing him is just doing the world a favor.>